Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples (5 page)

In the early 1970s, a survey of over 2000 American men and women conducted by Morton Hunt suggested that a significant relaxation in attitudes toward anal sexuality was under way. Over half of those surveyed disagreed with the statement: "Anal intercourse between men and women is wrong." Experimentation also appeared to be on the rise, especially among younger respondents. About a quarter of married couples under 35 had engaged in anal intercourse at least occasionally, while over half had tried anal fingering, and over a quarter had tried oral-anal stimulation (Hunt, 1974).

Also in the seventies, a Redbook magazine survey of 100,000 women reported that 43% of the women, most of them married, had tried anal intercourse at least once. Of these, about 40% described the experience as enjoyable, 42% found it unpleasant, and 7.5% found it repulsive. Nineteen percent said they engaged in anal intercourse occasionally, and 2% did so often (Tavris and Sadd, 1977).

In the early 1980s, a Playboy survey of 100,000 readers indicated that the level of experimentation was even higher among their audience. Forty-seven percent of men and 61 of women had tried anal intercourse. Thirteen percent of married couples reported engaging in anal intercourse more than once a month and 63% had also tried other forms of anal stimulation (Peterson, 1983).

In the '90s, a study of 3,432 Americans showed that the proportion of respondents who had tried anal intercourse-as receivers or inserters-was strongly related to whether they'd had any same-gender sex partners and how recently they'd had them. Whereas about a quarter of the total sample had tried anal intercourse at least once since puberty, about half of those with any same-sex partners since age 18 had tried it. Among men and women who reported any same-sex partners in the previous five years, 60% had tried it. And for those with same-sex partners in the previous year, the proportion who had tried anal intercourse jumped to nearly 80% (Laumann, et al, 1994).

In 2002, the National Center for Health Statistics, part of the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), conducted face-to-face interviews with 12,571 men and women between ages 15-44. Respondents entered answers anonymously into a computer during the interviews, a very good method for getting closer to the truth. Forty percent of the men and 35% of women said they had tried anal sex (presumably meaning intercourse) with an opposite-sex partner at least once (Moser, et al, 2005).

In 2008, the Guttmacher Institute sought to determine the extent to which today's teens are using oral and anal sex as substitutes for vaginal intercourse. They analyzed data on 2,271 teens, ages 15-19, drawn from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. In this nationally representative survey, respondents answered questions anonymously via computer. Among these teens, 50% had engaged in vaginal intercourse, 55% had tried oral sex, and 11% had explored anal intercourse. In a similar trend noted by Kinsey among adults back in the 40s and 50s, teens from higher socioeconomic backgrounds were more likely to have tried oral and anal sex. Among the teens who had already had vaginal intercourse, 87% had also tried oral sex and 21% had engaged in anal sex (compared to 26% and 1% of the "virgins," respectively). The study concluded that teens aren't using oral and anal sex as substitutes for vaginal intercourse, but rather as supplements to it (Lindberg, 2008).

Many people are surprised when they hear about the prevalence of anal experimentation among heterosexuals; some even refuse to believe it. At the same time, it is widely assumed that anal intercourse is universal among gay men. This belief is a natural extension of an intercourse-centered view of sex, which goes like this: because intercourse is sex, and because the only intercourse available to gay men is anal, therefore anal intercourse must be the erotic focus for gays, just as vaginal intercourse is for most straights. Following a similar logic, I've heard numerous people question how lesbians can have sex at all.

It's true that gay men in general are far more open to all forms of anal stimulation, including intercourse, than any other group. In one study of over 1,000 gay men, 76% said they enjoyed anal intercourse, over half as both inserter and receiver (Spada, 1979). In another study of 156 gay male couples together from 1-40 years, 71% had participated in anal intercourse within the year prior to the interviews, with equal percentages having tried it as receivers and as inserters. Also in the previous year, 41% had participated in oral-anal play. But compare these statistics to the more than 95% who reported giving and receiving oral sex during the same period, with mutual masturbation almost as prevalent (McWhirter and Mattison, 1984). Although anal sex is clearly popular among gay men, the more prominent role of other activities in gay male sexuality has often been noted.

A 1994 sex survey of gay men conducted by ZheAdvocate (Lever, 1994), a national gay magazine, asked refreshingly different questions, including what sexual activities respondents "loved." Hugging and caressing were loved by 85%, more than any other activity. Forty percent loved being the inserter in anal intercourse (almost as popular as having their ears licked) and 43% were fans of receiving it. Forty-five percent loved receiving oral-anal stimulation, and 28% loved giving.

Twenty-six percent said their favorite way to have an orgasm was through a combination of masturbation (administered by themselves or their partners) and receiving intercourse, while 19% said their favorite way to orgasm was being the inserter. On the other hand, 14% didn't practice receptive anal intercourse at all and another 13% did, but didn't like it. Six percent didn't engage in intercourse as inserters while another 11% did so but didn't like it.

We know amazingly little about the frequency with which some groups, most notably lesbians, engage in anal activities. Frankly, I'm amazed that I can't find any surveys of lesbian sexuality that asked questions about anal stimulation. Nonetheless I've talked with dozens of lesbians who say they like anal fingering, oral-anal stimulation, and occasionally anal intercourse with dildos. Several lesbian therapists I've interviewed reported the same thing. But this is all anecdotal, underscoring the need for more complete lesbian sex research.

WHAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE? If you're like me, random percentages are already swirling around in your brain. So what are we to make of these numbers? Obviously, different studies yield different results. This is true with any kind of research. But between the 1940s and the 2000s, we can spot some general trends:

• The proportion of heterosexuals experimenting with anal intercourse has gradually been on the rise, and probably is around 30-40% today, with younger, more educated, and married people on the higher end of the spectrum.

• How often straights have anal intercourse is much more difficult to say, but the best guess is that approximately 20% practice it at least occasionally, with significant differences between groups.

• The vast majority of men who have sex with men (only some of whom are identified as gay) have tried anal intercourse, but less than half of the gays say they "love it."

• Most surveys don't bother to ask about other forms of anal sex, yet a majority of straights appear to include some anal touching in their sex play on occasion, as do an even larger majority of gays.

• Rimming (oral-anal sex) has been tried by less than a quarter of straights, but almost half of gays say they love receiving it and almost one-third feel the same about giving it.

• We have many anecdotal reports of lesbians enjoying all forms of anal sexuality, but no real data about it.

• The biggest surprise is that about 11% of 15-19 olds are trying anal intercourse these days. That number jumps to 21% among teens who have also had vaginal intercourse.

Considering the fact that more sexual experimentation is happening at earlier ages, the essential need for comprehensive sex education, beginning well before the experiments begin, is the most important "bottom line" of all. It is now undeniable that more informed young people are more likely to wait longer before becoming sexually active, and much more inclined to use birth control when they do.

Similarly, disturbing numbers of teens are having intercourse, both vaginal and anal, without using condoms. In 2007, almost 62% of sexually active high school students reported using condoms with their most recent intercourse. This is a dramatic improvement from 1991, when only 46% had used them (CDC, 2006). But we have a long way to go.

We know that access to condoms and familiarity with them-which includes seeing, touching, and practicing applying them to phallus-shaped objects in the classroom-is the best way to promote their use. It's also essential that teens, especially girls, learn about the "female condom," the use of which can be decided upon, implemented, and controlled by intercourse receivers (see Chapter 12).*

Finally, the focus on intercourse that I described earlier is on full display in most of the research. Since the HIV/AIDS epidemic began in the early 1980s, sex research funding has been primarily focused on studies of HIV transmission and prevention. Other forms of anal pleasure are not involved in HIV transmission, which is one reason why questions about them are still being left out. This is a short-sighted and serious mistake.

The more people know about the anal area and all forms of anal enjoyment, the more likely they are to make wise, informed choices instead of fumbling around in the dark. I strongly suggest that future researchers who have the urge and funds to devise new sex surveys, begin by expanding their range of questions about this important source of sensuous and sexual pleasure.

There's no simple explanation for our lingering reticence. Historically, the law has played an important role. Since the days of the colonies, almost every state has imposed strong legal sanctions against sodomy, usually defined as contact between the genitals of one person and the anus or mouth of another, although sometimes the term is used only for anal intercourse. Starting in the 1960s, and reaching a peak in the 70s, 18 states repealed their sodomy laws, and three additional state courts declared them unconstitutional. A monumental sea change occurred in June, 2003, when the US Supreme Court ruled that all sodomy laws are unconstitutional. Matters of love and sexuality among consenting adults, declared the 6-3 majority, are fundamentally a private matter (Lawrence vs. Texas).

Ethical values and moral principles are also potent attitude-shapers. Even people who value sexual freedom still look to some moral code or ethical system to guide their actions. The current trend, countered by plenty of vociferous opposition, is towards allowing greater room for individual tastes and preferences. Needless to say, it is legitimate for anyone to participate in or avoid certain sexual behaviors or situations based on a sense of right or wrong. However, ethical or moral value systems do not themselves deter open discussion, turn faces red with embarrassment, or cause reflexive outbursts of nervous laughter.

To understand these reactions, we must open our eyes to the power of taboos. A taboo is a form of psychosocial control more potent than the most rigid moral code or threatening law. Modern, enlightened people like to believe that the scientific method has eradicated taboos, and that only "primitive" peoples are still affected by them. Unfortunately, this belief is inaccurate.