And The Beat Goes On (14 page)

She was the only one who thought I was wonderful. But at least I had someone. “I’ll see you at the restaurant.”

She sighed. “Okay.”

I walked out and joined my date. “I’m sorry about that.”

Athena studied me closely then tucked her hair behind her ear. “Did you…sleep with her?”

What?
“Eww! No.” I tried to get the image out of my head.

“
Eww?” she asked incredulously. “She’s gorgeous.”

“I won’t deny that. But she’s my sister.”

Understanding flashed in her eyes. “Oh…” Then she smiled. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I can’t believe she’s your sister. That’s so cool.”

I nodded. “I’m very proud of her.”

“That’s how you got good seats…”

I shrugged. “It’s nice to know the big people.”

“You’re the big people.”

“I don’t have any Grammy’s.”

“Your one flaw,” she teased.

Was she flirting with me?
I hoped she was. We left the stadium then walked a few blocks down the road. I kept my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t be tempted to touch her. But that was difficult.

When we finally got into the limo, it became awkward again. I told the driver the address to the restaurant and he pulled away from the curb.

She looked outside the window during the drive. I stared at her face while she did. Her slender neck looked kissable. I eyed her sweater and thought about her tits. They were perfect, and the nipples felt so good in my mouth. I got a hard-on just thinking about it. I discreetly adjusted myself so she wouldn’t notice.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we walked inside. I told the host my name, and he immediately gave me a table even though there was a line waiting.

“Do you own this one too?” Athena asked.

I smiled. “No.” When we reached
the table, I automatically pulled out the chair for her. She eyed it for a moment before she sat down. I sat beside her and rested my elbows on the table. It was a little less tense than it would have been if we were facing each other. I ordered a bottle of wine while I waited for my sister and brother-in-law.

“Did you enjoy the show?” I asked.

“It was amazing.” She kept her hands in her lap and hardly touched her wine.

“My sister is very talented.”

“I can’t believe your parents didn’t support her.”

“They are idiots,” I said darkly.

“They must feel stupid now.”

“They don’t know.”

“How is that possible?” she asked.

I shrugged. “They’ll figure it out eventually. And when that day comes, I’ll be questioned mercilessly.”

“You weren’t kidding about being close with her. You two are really cute.”

Cute? “I love her more than any
thing. She accepts me for who I am. I don’t have to hide from her.”

She shifted her weight and looked aw
ay. “Has she met all the others?”

“No. My sister has never seen me with a girl. In fact, a few months ago she asked if I was gay.”

“Why hasn’t she met anyone?”

“Because I said I would never introduce her to someone unless…she was the one.”

Her eyes widened at my words. She sipped her wine then returned it to the table. It wobbled before she set it down and she almost spilled it everywhere. I caught it in time. “The one?”

“Someone that actually means something to me. Someone that could…cure me of this sickness.”

Her eyes softened when she looked at me. “You mean that?”

“I meant what I said before. I really care about you. I would love a chance to make this work.”

She took a deep breath while she looked at me. “I’m scared…”

“I know. I understand.”

“But I don’t want to lose you.”

My heart fluttered at her words. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I think I’d be a stupid girl if I actually agreed to this. There’s no guarantee that you’ll even still want me after you get what you want. And…I’ve already fallen really hard for you. It would devastate me if you threw me aside like…all the others.”

I wished I could tell her that wouldn’t happen, but I really didn’t know.

“But…I’d like to try. I already feel a strong connection to you. You’re already a dream come true. If our relationship doesn’t change, I could get everything I ever wanted in another person.”

“I want to give that to you, Athena. Please le
t me try.”

“I hate that word. Try.”

“That’s all I can give you. But I’ve always abstained from…being with other women because I couldn’t betray you. If I already feel that much emotion toward you, we’re probably safe. And I would never do something to hurt you. I can promise you that.”

She still looked unsure. Her eyes darted back and forth like her mind was racing a million miles an hour.

I grabbed her hand on the table and squeezed. “I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want. But please give me a chance.”

“I want to…”

“Let me know at the end of the night.”

“Okay.”

I kept her hand in mine and stared at her. She held my gaze and didn’t look away. An unspoken conversation happened between us. I begged her to stay with me, and she told me how scared she was. I prayed she’d give me the chance I wanted.

When the chairs across from us shifted, I knew Prudence and Cash joined us.

“I hope we aren’t interrupting anything…” Prudence sat down and Cash pushed in the chair for her. He took his seat next to her and draped his arm over the back of her chair. I liked Cash a lot. He treated my sister the way she deserved. And he reminded me of myself. If he could do it, commit to another person, I could. And I saw how happy he was with Prudence. That could be me—with Athena.

“No, you weren’t,” I lied. I still held Athena’s hand but moved it under the table. I was happy she didn’t pull away.

Prudence eyed us then cleared her throat. “Cash and I met in an odd way.”

“You did?” Athena asked.

“He and I had a no-strings-attached relationship. We were planning on fooling around for the summer, but we fell in love instead.” She stared at Cash fondly for a moment. “Cash didn’t come from great beginnings. He was a player, with a different girl every night. But all that changed when he met me.”

I knew what she was doing.

“I’m really glad I took a chance on him,” Prudence said. “Because I got everything I wanted.” She leaned in and kissed Cash gently. He gave her an affectionate look. “And maybe I’m biased but my brother is the greatest guy I’ve ever known. You wouldn’t be sitting at this table if you didn’t mean the world to him. Please give him a chance. I know his…lifestyle…is hard to look past. But Jeremy won’t let you down. Don’t push him away. Please.”

I was moved my sister was trying so hard. I knew she was taking advantage of her stardom to manipulate Athena. For the first time, I hoped it worked.

“Have you listened to my album?” Prudence asked.

“Of course,” Athena said.

“You know who all those songs are about?” She nodded to Cash.

“But they are so sad.”

Prudence shrugged. “He was worth the pain. I can guarantee there’s nothing between us but joy now.”

Athena eyed them for a moment before she looked down. I didn’t know if she took my sister’s words to heart, but I hoped it had some influence.

I changed the subject and asked about her tour. Prudence talked about that for almost the entire meal. She asked me about work but I didn’t have much to say. My job was pretty boring.

Cash and I talked about sports and work. He and I always got along. He was a good friend. I wished I got to spend more time with him, and not just because he was married to my sister. He was a cool guy.

Athena was quiet for the most part. I knew she was nervous around my sister.  I think it was because Prudence was famous, not because of our relation. I didn’t pressure her to be more talkative or open. That would happen in time.

When dinner was over, we walked outside and stood on the sidewalk. Prudence had her own limo, which was odd to see. It was weird seeing her as a famous person. To me, she’d always be my humble sister. But that was a good thing.

Prudence hugged Athena tightly. “It was nice meeting you. I sincerely hope I’ll see you again.”

Athena smiled. “It was nice meeting you too.”

Cash hugged her next then pulled me in for a bear hug. “Don’t give up.”

I clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Good night.”

“Night.”

They got into the limo then pulled away from the curb. We stood there awkwardly while we waited for my driver.

“Your sister is lovely.”

“Thank you.”

“And she loves you—a lot.”

“I know she does.”

“Can I believe everything she said?”

“My sister may be biased, but she didn’t speak any lies.”
Please be with me. I’d beg if I had to.

The car
pulled up and we got inside. We sat together but said nothing. The car didn’t pull onto the road because I hadn’t given an address yet. I waited for Athena to give me some direction but she didn’t. So I took the lead.

“Where to?”

Her fingers ran through her hair. “I don’t know…”

“We can go to my place.”
Say yes.

She adjusted her weight in her seat. “Okay.”

Yes.

My driver headed back to my flat. I didn’t touch her during the drive even though I wanted to. I was so used to her affection and it was weird not to have it anymore.

When we arrived at my place, we walked inside then hung up our coats. Athena moved to the living room but didn’t sit down. I couldn’t tell what that meant. Did she intend to leave soon? I sat down then crossed my legs.

She paced the room. “I’m still thinking…”

“Take all the time you need.” Since she came back to my place, I hoped that meant she was leaning toward yes. She had a whole week to think about it. How much more time did she need? “If you have any hesitation, then don’t do it. If you’re only partially invested in the relationship, we’ll never grow. I need all of you, not part of you, if this is going to work. Keep that in mind. And if you say no, I’ll never bother you again. It’ll be like I don’t even see you.”

She rubbed her arms while she paced across the hard wood floors. I watched her form as she moved. She had a slender waist and wide hips. Her legs were thin and toned. I wanted to run my hands everywhere.

Athena finally sat beside me. “I think the best way to make this relationship work is to fix the root of the problem.”

The root? “Meaning?”

“We need to fix your addiction. When you realize you don’t need it anymore, you’ll be free.”

“And how do I do that?”

“I don’t know…but I guess you can be with me monogamously. That should help.”

“This isn’t a science experiment,” I said firmly. “I want to make love if you do. If you aren’t ready, that’s fine.
”

“Make love?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you ever made love to someone before?”

“Well…no.”

“But you would do that with me?” she asked.

“That’s all I’ll do with you.” I meant it. I desired her in a sexual way, but there was more to the feeling than lust. I cared about her…

“We can do other things until you stop masturbating. Then we can…have sex…and hope for the best.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“I think so.”

“Because I don’t want to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

“All I know is I don’t want to lose you, Jeremy. You make me really happy. And even though you are an addict, I never saw that side of you when we were together. And I think it’s because it isn’t there anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you’re doing better than you give yourself credit
for. I think we should continue with our relationship and hope for the best. If…you don’t want me anymore…you’ll know you aren’t ready for a serious relationship again. I’ll be hurt, but it’s still worth the risk.”

“You really think so?”

“You’re worth it, Jeremy. Prudence sacrificed a lot in the hope of getting her happily ever after. And I have a feeling I’ll get mine with you.”

My eyes softened at her words. “You will, Athena. I’ll do everything I can to make that happen.”

Her eyes coated with tears but they didn’t fall.

I pulled her into my lap and kissed her forehead. “Thank you. Thank you.”

She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled close. For the first time that week, I could finally breathe.

Chapter Sixteen

♬

Athena Riley

I couldn’t believe I actually agreed to this. But the alternative was too hard. I didn’t want to be with anyone else. Jeremy was the closest friend and
best boyfriend I ever had. The idea of losing him was unthinkable. I didn’t want to get hurt again, but I didn’t want to watch him go.

So I pressed forward.

For the next month, nothing happened between us. We didn’t talk about his addiction or address our physical relationship. I guess I was nervous to be intimate with him. The sooner I did it, the sooner he may leave. Jeremy never brought it up or made a move.

He still kissed me like he loved me. His lips drove me crazy when they pressed against my mouth. His hand gently moved through my hair and set my skin on fire. He always made me hot. But I still couldn’t go through with it.

But I fell in love with him all over again. He was still the same man I met before. He always put me first, treated me like a lady, and listened to everything I had to say. He wasn’t with anyone else like he promised.

Then I started to get anxious. I’d never dated someone so long and didn’t at least fool around. My last boyfriend did the deed
with me after we’d been dating for a month, and that was a long time for us. Two months with Jeremy was unbearable. Because I was madly in love with him.

I started to sell my paintings to a few local shops, and I even got into an elite art gallery.  But they approached me. I didn’t have to do anything on my part. I had a strong suspicion Jeremy was behind that.

My dad never called me. It was like I didn’t exist. And that hurt. How could he let me go so easily? I did everything I could to make him proud of me, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was sacrificing my joy for his. Even though I was in so much pain, I knew I did the right thing. But having Jeremy in my life made the decision so much easier.

When I was home that night, I was painting my new piece. Jeremy had a late meeting so I didn’t plan on seeing him.
A knock on the door broke my concentration. For a brief moment, I hoped Jeremy decided to stop by to surprise me. But when I opened my door, I saw my brother. He held a few bags and wouldn’t look at me.

“Ken?” I eyed his messy hair and dirty clothes. “Are you alright?”

He took a breath then released it from his lungs. “I know we aren’t close and you don’t owe me anything, but can I stay here for awhile? I have nowhere else to go…”

The depression in his voice broke my heart. “Of course you can.”

His eyes never met mine. “Thanks…”

I opened the door wider and let him come inside. I wasn’t able to afford a two-bedroom
apartment, so I couldn’t allow him his own space. “The living room and couch are all yours.”

He dropped his bags then put his hands in his pockets. He eyed the painting on the floor then sat down on the couch. I watched him for a moment and saw a man I didn’t recognize.

My brother and I had never been close. As soon as he left home, we stopped talking. We saw each other on holidays, but even then we hardly spoke to each other directly. I suspected my brother didn’t like me. I was his last resort. But he was still my brother and I couldn’t turn him away.

I sat beside him then rested my hands on my knees. “What’s going on, Ken?”

He stared at the ground. “I lost my job.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything.

“If you’re going to stay here, I’d like to know why. I hate to be nosey, but you should at least give me that.”

He sighed. “You can’t tell anyone, especially Dad.”

Oh. This is going to be bad.
“I promise.”

He closed his eyes for a moment then reopened them. “I’m gay.”

Wow. I was not expecting that.
“Oh.” I probably should have said something better but my immediate reaction wasn’t graceful.

“Word got out around work and people treated me differently. I was basically bullied, threatened,
and harassed. My boss is a homo-phob so he let me go for a stupid reason. But I know it’s because I’m gay.”

That was horrible. “That’s discrimination, Ken. You can fight that.”

“Why would I want to?” he said sadly. “It was such a bad environment. I was afraid to walk to my car at night.”

I shook my head. “That’s…ridiculous.”

He eyed me then looked down. “You really didn’t know?”

“That you were gay? No, I had no idea, Ken.”

“Oh. I thought you did. That’s why you’ve always hated me.”

What? “Hate you? I’ve never hated you. I admit we’ve never gotten along but I’ve certainly never hated you. I just assumed you didn’t like me.”

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I do, Ken. I love you. You’re my brother.”

“Really?” he whispered.

“Of course.”

“And you don’t care…that I’m gay?”

“Why would that change anything, Ken? You could be a serial killer on death row and I’d still love you. And there’s nothing
wrong with being gay. Unfortunately, society says otherwise, but it shouldn’t be that way. I’m just sorry you have to go through this.”

He took a deep breath. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that…”

I placed my hand on his back and rubbed him gently. It was the most affection we’ve shared in a long time. “I’m sorry I made you think otherwise.”

“I doubt Dad would be so understanding.”

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“How is he?” Ken
asked.

“We aren’t talking. The last time I spoke
to him, it was almost two months ago.

“What happened?”

“I quit my job at the store. I told him I wanted to be an artist and he said it was a betrayal. I’m no longer his daughter.”

Ken shook his head. “Jackass…”

“I know.”

“He’d probably kill me if he knew the truth—literally.”

“We don’t need him, Ken.”

“I guess not.” He sat back on the couch. For the first time, he seemed relaxed. “It’s nice to be accepted. It’s a rare occurrence these days.”

I rested my feet on the coffee table. “You’ll always be accepted here, Ken.”

“Thanks.”

We sat in silence for several minutes.

“So…what’s going on with you?” Ken asked.

“Just school and work.”

“What do you do for an income?” he asked.

“I sell my paintings.”

“That’s cool,” Ken said. “Are you seeing anyone?”

I smiled when I thought of Jeremy. “Yes.”

Ken eyed my face. “My sister is in love.”

I didn’t deny it.

“Can I meet him?”

“Sure,” I said. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No,” he said with a sigh. “Not having a job doesn’t exactly make me desirable.”

“You’ll find another one,” I said with confidence.

“I hope so.”

“I’ll help you. And in the meantime, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that.” He rested his hand on mine then patted it. I gave him a slight smile then leaned back on the couch. It was the longest conversation we ever had, and definitely the most meaningful. I may have lost my father, but I gained a brother.