And the Shofar Blew (42 page)

Lois smiled. “Samuel is a good man. But far too old.”

“And he no longer attends our church.”

“Why not?”

“He and Paul couldn’t see eye-to-eye. When Abby became sick, Samuel stepped down. Paul was glad when he did.”

Lois put her hands around her teacup and bowed her head. “A pity. Pastors need good men around them, men who can see trouble brewing and confront it before it gets a foothold.”

The pastor had to be willing to listen. Paul used to listen to her. Until he had gotten caught up in “building a church for the Lord.” If he wasn’t held accountable now, would he ever straighten out? What would happen when he faced the Lord? He would have to answer for the way he was leading God’s people. Had he forgotten that?

Eunice felt numb. Should she convince herself that it was all a mistake? How could she? She couldn’t pretend it had been a bad dream. And she didn’t know if she had the strength to shove it into a shadowed compartment in her mind, close the door, and lock it in.

No. No, she couldn’t let it go. Not yet. She had to remind herself that the meeting with Marvin Lockford had been more important to Paul than talking with her.

“You look so exhausted, honey. You can’t work it all out when you’re this tired. We can talk everything over in the morning. Is your suitcase in your car?”

“I don’t have a suitcase. Paul took it away from me. Along with my keys. I had to use the spare set.”

“I have an extra nightie you can use, and I buy toothbrushes by the bushel load at Costco. They’re in the hall cabinet, along with packages of toothpaste.”

Eunice pushed herself up. She started to clear her dishes, but Lois put her hand over hers. “Just leave them. I can take care of them. You go to bed. You look dead on your feet. Try to get a good night’s rest. Everything will wait until morning.”

“Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Did you think I’d throw you out because my son’s behaving like an idiot?” Her smile was shaky.

Eunice realized how tired she was. She could hardly put one foot in front of the other. Was it emotion that had sapped her? She braced her hand on the door frame and looked back at her mother-in-law. “How did you do it, Mom? How did you get through it?”

Lois looked every day of her seventy-eight years. “When you live with a faithless man, you learn to lean on a faithful God.”

It was past ten when Stephen packed the last of the leftover charcoal and his Coleman cooler into his truck. A few stragglers remained to stargaze. Brittany and Jack were standing with Kathryn. Jack appeared to be doing all the talking. Kathryn reached out and shook his hand. She said something to Brittany and headed for her car. At least they weren’t running from each other this time. Kathryn swung her jacket around her shoulders and appeared in no hurry as Stephen walked over to her car.

“Take it easy on the way home, Kat.”

“I don’t plan to stop at a liquor store.”

Touchy.
“Okay.”

“Brittany says I’ma bigger drunk than you ever were. What do you think about that?”

He wasn’t going to step into a minefield. He stayed silent.

“Okay. Okay. I know I have a problem. I was planning to cut down anyway. Alcohol isn’t good for the skin.”

“Or anything else.”

“Though it does help you forget.”

“Until you wake up in the morning and have to face the music for what you did the night before.”

“The voice of experience.” She winced. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to do that. You’ve been nice through the whole thing, Stephen. A pity you weren’t this understanding when we were married.”

A few cordial meetings didn’t mean she would change. How many years had it taken him to see the Light and then decide to follow Him?

“Brittany just told me I should check into a treatment center like you went to, but I have to support myself. I don’t have the luxury of taking six months off work.”

She was trying hard to start a fight. Let her take her punches. He wasn’t going to hit back this time.

She looked at him. “Jack suggested I come to your Bible study. I told him I’d already asked if you’d mind if I sat in on it. Brittany wasn’t too keen on the idea.”

“She’s talking to you again. That’s good.”

“Every word out of her mouth is a barb.”

He smiled at that.
Like mother, like daughter.

She slipped her arms into her jacket. “I had a good time today, Stephen, despite everything that’s happened. Largely because you introduced me to your friends.”

“What’d you expect me to do? Leave you out in the cold?”

“I’ve felt like I was out in the cold most of my life. Just when I think I know the rules of the game, the players change. I’m tired of trying.” She shrugged. “Anyway. Thanks for the invitation. I enjoyed the day, despite our daughter’s attempt to slay me with that remark about the crack house. It wasn’t true, was it?”

“You’ll have to talk to her about it.”

“I don’t think I want to know. At least she came back this afternoon. Largely because of you, I’m sure.”

“Don’t forget Jack.”

“How could I forget Jack?” She glanced back. “Where on earth did you find him?”

“He used to come by and see how the work was going.”

“Brittany said he’s a craftsman.”

“He’s a carpenter. Actually, he’s a talented artist. He’s putting together a mural with bits and pieces of scrap lumber, everything from pine to mahogany. Pretty remarkable. He calls it therapy. Keeps his mind occupied and his hands busy.”

“What does he plan to do with it when he’s finished?”

“I haven’t got a clue.”

“If it’s any good, I might be interested.”

“I thought your taste ran to original oils.”

She gave him one of her looks. “Since I no longer have a rich husband, and not enough alimony to keep my head above water, let alone purchase art, I’m working again. For an interior decorator. High-end. She likes unusual pieces.”

“You landed on your feet.”

“Kats always do.” She took her keys out of her purse and pressed the remote to unlock her car.

Brittany came over and stood next to him as Kathryn headed down the main street of Rockville. “She’s a royal pain.”

“So are you, Brit. So am I, for that matter.”

“After all these years, it’s strange hearing you defend her.”

He smiled down at her. “Where’s Jack?”

“He went home. He said he was tired of listening to me whine about my mother’s faults.”

“Do you want a ride the six blocks home, or would you rather walk?” Stephen knew better than to take anything for granted.

“I’d like a ride, if you promise not to lecture.”

“Wouldn’t think of it.”

Eunice had a bad night. Exhausted, she slept two solid hours and then awakened from a bad dream at three in the morning. What day was it? Thursday? She slept fitfully, awakening at every little sound in the condo complex. She could hear the freeway noise from six blocks away. A low roar of an ocean of cars. A tide of traffic to and fro. Never ending. Where were all those people going in the wee hours of the morning? She was lulled back to sleep for a while, but she awakened again, the digital clock glowing
4:00.

What should she do about Timothy? Should she call him and let him know she was in town for a few days? or a few weeks? One look at her and he would know something was wrong. She’d never been good at hiding things. Should she tell him the truth about his father? Mending had begun between them. What would happen to their relationship now? She could stay a few days without letting Timothy know. But she would have to leave soon. Where would she go? She couldn’t bear the thought of going back to Paul and listening to his excuses, or being told again she was to blame. She wondered what he was doing right now. Rob Atherton was in Florida. Paul and Sheila were both free to do whatever they pleased with their spouses out of town.

She wept into her pillow. She felt as though he had ripped her heart out and stomped on it. She hated him, but she loved him, too. How was that possible? Could she go back and forget what happened for the sake of their marriage? Assuming he sincerely wanted to rebuild. Or was he merely worried about his position? She was afraid she knew the truth—that all he cared about was what other people would say and what could happen to his position in the church. But if she returned, what could she expect from him in the future but more betrayal? How could she ever trust him again? Every time he went out the door, she would wonder where he was going and if the meeting was just a pretense to have another clandestine affair. If Sheila moved away, other beautiful, needy women would come to their pastor and fancy themselves in love with him.
She needed me.
If he was deaf, blind, and dumb about his sins now, what would stop him from falling into sin later?

At six, she gave up trying to sleep. She felt as though her head were full of cotton. Thinking a cup of tea might help, she put on the robe Lois had loaned her. Lois was talking to someone in the kitchen. Eunice’s heart began to pound. Had Timothy come home? What could she say to him? What was Lois saying?

“She knocked on my door a little after midnight. Yes. I know all about it. Oh, what a mess! Of course, I’m disappointed in you.” A long silence, then Lois’s weary voice. “No. I don’t think she’s said anything to anyone else. I told her she could stay with me as long as she feels she needs to stay.” Another pause, and then Lois’s anger. “Yes. Yes. I know it makes things difficult for you. You should’ve thought about that before you started having an affair with . . . ” Teary. “Have you stopped to think about how difficult you’ve made it for your wife? You should come down here . . . ” A harsh breath. “Oh, don’t use that excuse.” A pause. “You could tell everyone there’s been a family emergency.” Silence. “Yes, she needs time to calm down.” Silence. “Tonight would be better. Monday may be too late.” Another sigh. “You know exactly what I mean. Don’t pretend you don’t. Well, of course, I’ll do everything I can.” Tear-choked. “I always have. I love you both. I can’t believe you let this happen. I never thought you, of all people, would do such a thing. I know. I know. These things happen all the time.”

Eunice stood in the doorway. Her mother-in-law glanced up, blushed to the roots of her gray hair. She turned away and dropped her voice. “I’ve got to hang up now. You know what you should do. I hope you’ll do it.” She hung up and stood. “Good morning, honey. I hope you slept well last night. Would you like some tea? I have Earl Grey. You like that, don’t you?” Her smile was forced.

“Was that Paul?” Her anger wasn’t cold anymore; it was raging hot. She had never felt such wrath before. It came up inside her like hot lava.

Lois turned the stove knob until it clicked and a flame came on. “Yes.”

“I didn’t hear the phone ring.”

“I thought he should know you arrived safely.”

“Did it occur to you that he
should
worry? That he
should
think about someone besides himself for a change? I didn’t want him to know where I was! I wanted a safe place to think.”

Lois looked crestfallen. “I’m sorry, Eunice. I was trying to help. You weren’t yourself last night. You looked ready for a nervous breakdown.”

“You’re probably right, but I have good reason, don’t you think?”

“There’s no good reason for leaving Paul in the dark about your well-being. That’s cruel and unchristian, and not at all like you.”

“No. It’s not like me. It’s more like me to let him walk all over me again!”

“He’s not. He’s sorry. We’re to love one another the way Jesus loved us. And Paul was worried sick. I thought—”

“I heard how worried he was.” Eunice gave a bleak laugh. “He’s scared to death at what might happen if word gets out in his church. That’s what he’s most concerned about. Himself. ‘Tonight would be better,’ you said. ‘Monday might be too late.’ What did you mean by that, Lois?”

Lois looked down at the table. “He’s going to have one of the associates cover for him so that he can come down here. The two of you can talk things over, straighten things out.”

Eunice could feel the tears mounting again. “I can’t even trust you, can I?”

Lois looked up, crying. “How can you say that to me? Of course you can trust me. I’m trying to do what’s best for both of you.”

“The same way you’ve been trying to do what’s best for years. By covering up! By pretending everything is fine. By looking the other way and hoping the problem will evaporate. Isn’t that the truth, Lois? How many times did Paul’s father cheat on you?”

Her eyes filled with hurt. “That’s none of your business.”

“I don’t care if you think it’s my business or not. It was his pattern, wasn’t it? To lie and cheat? And you allowed yourself to be drawn into it. And now, here’s Paul, following in his father’s footsteps. The father’s sins are being visited upon the son because we sweep everything under the carpet and pretend everything is fine when it’s not! God forbid that anyone should find out a pastor is weak. God forbid anyone should know he’s fallible. Isn’t that the truth? How many times, Lois? How many times did you cover up for David Hudson?”

“You have no right—”

“And you did it all in the name of love. You convinced yourself of that. Did you ever tell Paul the truth about why his father retired so unexpectedly?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“How could I? It would have destroyed David in Paul’s eyes.”

“So you allowed Paul to go on thinking his father was perfect, his father was a man to be emulated. You helped him make an idol of David Hudson.” And she had helped Lois do it.

“I never said David was perfect. Paul knew—”

“Paul forgot. If he ever knew anything, he learned sin didn’t matter if the man was powerful enough to keep his family quiet.”

Lois paled. “You’re not being fair. I tried to train up Paul in the way he should go, without turning him against his father.”

“You brought him up with a mixed message, Lois. But God doesn’t compromise. What about discipline? What about accountability? David Hudson never experienced any of that.”

“I did what I thought was right!”

“You did what your husband told you to do, even when it was wrong! You did what was easiest. You were in anguish when you came to Centerville and told me about the retirement banquet. And now I know why.
Misdeeds
, you said yesterday. It wasn’t the first time your husband was unfaithful to you. It was just the last time while he was serving in his church.” She dashed tears from her cheek. “You told me part of the truth and then swore me to secrecy. You made me a part of your sin.”

“No.”

“I should’ve taken it as a warning. I’m as much to blame as you. I’ve had those stirrings inside me. The Holy Spirit has been trying to tell me something has been wrong for a long time, and I’ve ignored that quiet voice the same way you have. Did you tell me about David so that I could see what Paul was becoming?”

“Paul isn’t like his father.”

“Why else would you burden me with the truth about your marriage?”

Lois wept harshly. “Paul isn’t like David.”

“Oh yes, he is. Like father, like son!”

“He’s repentant.”

“He’s not repentant, Lois. He’s remorseful. He’s sorry he was caught. And now, he’s scared to death everything he’s built for himself will come tumbling down. If he were repentant, his first thought wouldn’t have been to rush back to the church for his meeting with Marvin Lockford! He would’ve been on his knees begging for forgiveness.” And his mother wouldn’t have had to pressure him into coming down right away instead of putting off his trip until Monday.

“Is that what you want, Eunice? For Paul to be on his knees? Crushed and destroyed? Publicly humiliated? His church in ashes?”

Yes!
Eunice wanted to scream. Where better to be than on his knees before God? Hadn’t Jesus been publicly humiliated? And He had been innocent. He had been pure and holy. If the Lord could humble Himself to such a degree before all mankind, couldn’t one man humble himself before almighty God? The Lord had knowingly taken every sin ever committed, ever to be committed, upon Himself. No one but God could turn Paul’s life around. No one but God could heal the wounds Paul had inflicted. And no one but the Lord could change the course of what Paul had set in motion!

Oh, Lord of mercy and strength, I am powerless.

A calm settled over Eunice. The eye of the storm. “There’s no talking to you, Lois. You’re as big a liar as David Hudson ever was.” She saw the shock come into Lois’s face. Eunice walked out of the kitchen.

I can’t stay here, Lord. Where do I go? What am I to do now?

She went into the bedroom and closed the door. She quickly changed into her clothes, made the bed, folded up the nightgown and robe, and went out into the living room. She picked up her purse.

Lois stood in the doorway to the kitchen, face pale, tears streaming down her cheeks. Eunice was filled with compassion. Maybe her mother-in-law’s eyes were finally open, too. “I love you, Lois. I always have. I always will. But I don’t intend to follow your example. Not anymore.”

“Where will you go?”

It came to Eunice in that instant where she needed to go. “Home.”

The tension wilted from Lois. “Thank God. Do you want me to call Paul and tell him you’re on your way?”

“Centerville isn’t my home.” She opened the door and walked out.