Angels in Pink: Holly's Story (Lurlene McDaniel (Mass Market)) (9 page)

“I didn’t notice.”

“I think she’s high.”

His assessment sobered Kathleen instantly. “She had on a lot of makeup for the show.”

“It wasn’t makeup. I’ve seen that look in her eyes before.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“There’s nothing I can do. I’m not getting sucked into that black hole again.” He tucked his arm around Kathleen. “Come on. Let’s get this game exchanged and get out of here.”

sixteen

THE FIRST WEEK of January, Holly went to Tarpon Springs with Chad and attended the Epiphany service with him and his family. They were members of the Greek Orthodox Church, which meant their church calendar was different from Holly’s and they celebrated Christmas two weeks after December 25. Holly had never stepped inside such a magnificent church. Built in the shape of a cross and elaborately decorated in the Byzantine tradition, the church looked exotic and mysterious, like something from a history book. Gold sparkled from every wall, the ceiling, the altar area. Beautifully painted panels called icons, depicting the Madonna and Christ, adorned the entranceway. The priest wore an elaborate bejeweled gown and headdress. Candles glowed and incense burned, filling the sanctuary with a sweet, smoky aroma. The music sounded medieval, totally unlike the hymns she knew. She was mesmerized.

Afterward, Chad took her to his home, a small white stucco house in a neighborhood near the bay, where he lived with his parents and three younger brothers: Timothy, twelve, and twins Jonathan and Stephano, seven. Sumptuous cooking smells floated through the rooms, many as exotic to her as the church service. Chad’s grandparents came for dinner, as did an aunt and uncle and their family of four. The house brimmed with talk, laughter, Greek music, good food and squealing children. Holly sat demurely on the sidelines, mostly watching, answering questions when asked and envying the robust family life spilling out in front of her.

Her house had once been a gathering place too, with her family hosting cookouts and potluck suppers, dessert fests after youth group meetings and Christmas caroling. But months had passed since her parents had opened their doors for such an event. She missed the gatherings.

When the meal had been eaten and the table cleared, Chad leaned over and whispered, “Want to go someplace with me?”

He took her to the harbor, where sturdy-looking fishing boats were anchored and gulls circled overhead, flinging cries at the blue sky. They walked to a marina, to sleek moored sailboats. Chad stopped in front of one boat painted white, with weathered teak railings. It looked older than most of the others, and only big enough for maybe four people.

“Yours?” she asked.

“Meet
Katalina,
my first true love. I’ve had her for years.” He helped Holly on board, handed her a life jacket.

“I can swim,” she said.

“It’s the rule. Put it on.” He untied the line holding the boat in its berth and cast off. He sat in the stern and cranked a tiny outboard motor. “This will get us out to open water.”

Holly breathed in the salt air, watched the water turn from pale green to deep blue. Beyond the shelter of the bay, the gulf stretched endlessly, seeming to kiss the sky at the horizon. Once in open water, Chad cut the noisy motor. He untied the rigging and hoisted the mainsail, watching it fill with wind. He took the tiller and the boat began to skim across the water like a bird coasting on air.

“You never told me you sailed,” she said, astounded by his expertise.

“I’m Greek. It’s in our blood.” His smile was shot with sunlight. “Have you sailed before?”

“Never. But I could get used to it. This is great!” She turned her face skyward, let the wind rush over her skin and the sun warm her.

“Want to take command? Just keep her nose to the wind and her sail full.”

Holly moved cautiously to the stern, took the tiller and held the boat steady.

“You’re a natural,” he shouted after a few minutes.

She smiled, feeling an exhilaration that made her light-headed.

He taught her how to tack, come about, duck when the boom swung around. He took over only once, when, for a heart-stopping moment, the boat leaned far to one side and threatened to capsize.

In the golden sun-drenched afternoon, Holly lost track of time, and only when red streaked the sky did the wind slack and a calm settle in. Water lapped the sides of the boat. Holly felt it gently rock and watched the shoreline far away, not certain she wanted to return.

Chad scooted closer to her, put his arm around her. “The motor will get us in when we’re ready. Let’s watch the sunset.”

She leaned against him, felt his sun-warmed body and closed her eyes. “I’ve had a really good time.”

“Good. I’m glad it was with me.” He stroked her hair. “Not to ruin the moment, but what did you think of my crazy family?”

“I liked them.”

“I apologize for the twins.”

She remembered how they had whispered and giggled every time she glanced their way. “They’re cute.”

“You’re a novelty—I’ve never brought a girl home before.”

“How about sailing?”

“You’re first again. Between the homeschooling and the CF,
Katalina
has been my best friend for years.”

It touched her that he had been alone so much. “She’s a good friend to have.”

“What did you think of our church?”

“It was different from what I’m used to. It’s beautiful, though.”

“The first time I went into a Protestant church, I thought the friend who took me was playing a joke,” he said with a laugh. “Everything was so plain.”

Above, the red and gold sky was turning indigo, dark and inky. “With so many different houses to choose from, how does God pick which one to live in?” she mused.

“Perhaps he chooses many.”

“You think he’s fickle? Because I do. Actually, I’m not sure I believe in him anymore.”

There! She’d said it. The thing that had been on her mind since the day they’d buried her brother. She turned to look at Chad’s face, growing dim in the failing light, to see if she’d shocked him. “You think I’m terrible, don’t you?” she said. “All my life I’ve believed in God, and now I don’t.”

“I could never think you’re terrible, Holly.” His arm tightened around her. “I’ve wondered the same thing myself every time I’ve gone to the hospital. Why did
I
get sick? Why do
I
have CF? No one asked me if I wanted it. I was just born with it.”

She instantly grasped the inequity, the injustice of what had happened to him. She felt a rising anger toward the Being who supposedly controlled all things and could have prevented Chad’s illness and Hunter’s death. “My dad says it’s a mystery, which is another way to say ‘Who knows?’ What a cop-out.”

“My mom says she’s got a lot to ask God about when she sees him.” Chad grinned. “Even God had better duck when an angry Greek mother approaches.”

All Holly could think was that her own mother, a woman who had revered God all her life, was finished with him. And now, so was Holly.

With the failing sun, the evening had turned colder. She heard Chad’s breath wheeze in her ear and realized that the night air wasn’t doing him any good.

He said, “I have a windbreaker stashed under the front bench.”

“You should wear it,” she said, suddenly concerned about him.

He ignored her. He pulled the starter and the little motor kicked to life. They made it back to the pier with neither of them wearing the windbreaker. His father was waiting for them at the berth, pacing, his expression dark and serious. “Where have you been? Your mother is worried.”

“We got to talking. The sun dropped before we realized it.”

“You know you have no lights! You could have capsized.”

“We’re fine.” Chad helped Holly from the boat. He was wheezing hard, forcing words through blue-tinged lips. His father took his arm, but Chad shook him off.

Holly knew instinctively that Chad felt humiliated, but there was nothing she could do to help.

“I will take you home,” his father said sternly, “and then I will drive Holly to her house.”

“Dad!”

“This is not a suggestion!” his father roared.

Holly identified with Chad’s embarrassment. She vowed to send him an e-mail the minute she got home, assuring him that she understood, that he’d treated her to an amazing day she would never forget, and that she wanted to see him again as soon as he felt better. And yet, although she wouldn’t tell him so, she had also found his father’s outburst oddly comforting. Her father used to bellow at her in the same tone, using almost the same words, in the days when he had supervised her every movement. Before Hunter died. Before God abandoned them.

Emma’s visit did Raina a world of good, although Raina wasn’t sure why—nothing had changed in her life. Perhaps it was the connectedness she had felt knowing that their DNA ran together like a stream. Raina had always loved her friends, but having a sister was different. And even though they had no shared history, Raina liked knowing there was someone whose facial features mirrored hers, someone who had her mannerisms, who even sounded a little like her. It helped her see Holly’s loss of Hunter in a whole new light.

In February, she went to Holly. “I need your help.”

“My help?” Raina’s request surprised Holly because Raina had been living in another world for months. “Well, sure. What do you want?”

They were sitting together in the hospital cafeteria on a Saturday, nibbling on lunch. Being a Pink Angel gave Raina something else to do on Saturdays besides sit at home and feel lonely. Holly had told her that she came for the same reasons. Why else volunteer for no credit and no pay? At least Kathleen was paid for working most Saturdays.

“If I don’t get my grades up, I’m not going to graduate. My counselor called me in on Friday and delivered the bad news.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Does this look like the face of a kidder?”

Holly shook her head. “How can I help?”

“Study with me.
Make
me crack the books. I really don’t want to be stuck in summer school, or worse, have to take the equivalency test to get my diploma.” They’d used to study in the library together all the time. Before the world fell apart. “You still study, don’t you?”

Holly reddened. “It keeps my mind busy.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound sarcastic.” Raina took a breath. “You’re smart, Holly. The smartest of all of us. I’m jealous because I can’t get my act together.”

Raina’s smile looked watery, but Holly understood. “The books are a retreat for me. A place to hide when my brain gets full of stuff I can’t dump . . . stuff I don’t want to think about, or remember.”

“I guess we all have our hiding places.”

Dishes and glassware clanked as the cafeteria filled with lunchtime personnel. “So, how are you doing with the new boyfriend?”

Holly shrugged. “It’s not the romance of the century, but I like him. He likes me more than I like him, but that’s the way it is right now. Besides, I don’t see all that much of him because he works with his dad in the summer. His parents own a little restaurant over in Tarpon Springs.”

“You used to live for the day you’d have a boyfriend.”

“It’s not as important as I once thought.”

Raina’s cell phone played music foretelling that Kathleen was calling. She flipped it open. “Hey, Kathleen. What’s up?”

“I need to talk. I just found out that my mom’s going to marry this Stewart guy. Can you believe it?”

seventeen

“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM with your mom wanting to get married?” Raina asked. She and Holly had driven straight to Kathleen’s when they had finished at the hospital for the day. Mary Ellen had gone out for the evening with Stewart.

Kathleen restlessly paced the living room floor. “Hel-lo—she hardly knows this man!”

“Actually, marriage sounds logical to me,” Raina offered. “You’re going off to college. She’ll be alone. Why
not
get married?”

“I’m going to USF—right down the street. I’d planned to live at home to save money.”

“So?” Holly asked.

Kathleen threw her arms up in disgust. “I don’t want to live in the same house with this . . . this stranger!”

“He won’t be a stranger. He’ll be her husband,” Holly said.

“Your stepfather,” Raina added.

This brought Kathleen to a standstill. “I don’t want a stepfather.”

Raina and Holly exchanged glances. Kathleen stood facing them, tears of frustration brimming. Holly took one of her hands, Raina the other, and they sat her between them on the overstuffed sofa. “What exactly did your mother tell you?”

“Th-that she loved him. This man. This stranger.”

Raina ventured, “She’s been alone a long time. It’s no fun being alone.”

The poignancy of Raina’s words wasn’t lost on Holly, but she focused on Kathleen. “I thought you liked Stewart. You once told us that he made your mother happy.”

“He’s all right,” Kathleen said grudgingly. “I—I just never thought about him moving in.”

“You have somebody to love; why shouldn’t she?” Holly asked.

“She’s just always loved my dad.”

“Who’s been dead since you were eight,” Holly said tenderly, remembering how Mary Ellen had talked to her about the loss of Kathleen’s father. “Shouldn’t she get a shot at being happy again?”

Kathleen sniffed. “They both have MS. How are they going to take care of each other?”

Raina said, “You know, girlfriend, that’s not your problem. They’ve discussed it, I’m sure, and they’ve worked something out. It’s their lives. Don’t be a roadblock.”

“If it were
your
mother—”

“I’d be speechless,” Raina said wryly.

“Is this wedding anytime soon?” Holly asked.

“She hasn’t said.”

“Maybe they’re just talking, not really planning.”

“Does Stewart come with baggage?” Raina asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Baggage—children, ex-wives.”

“He was married once, a long time ago, but when he got MS, she left him. No kids.”

“Then you don’t ever have to worry about anyone moving into
your
room, do you?”

Kathleen looked exasperated. “You make it sound so cut-and-dried. I just don’t want my mother to make a mistake.”

“She’s not a kid, Kathleen,” Raina said. “Maybe you should just feel happy for her and let her go her own way. You have Carson, don’t you?”

“That’s different.”

“How so?”

Kathleen had no answer.

“Let her decide who and what she wants. It’s only fair.”

“What idiot thought up Valentine’s Day?” Raina asked. “He should be shot.” She and Holly had been poring over their books in a back section of the local library for hours.

“The guy died years ago,” Holly said, looking up. “He’s some saint now, I think.”

“I hate him.”

Ironically, Holly had received a sweetly sappy card from Chad that afternoon by regular mail, along with two e-cards. A momentous occasion, because it was the first honest and real Valentine she’d ever received from a guy. Raina had been flooded with Valentine’s Day cards and gifts all her life, many from Hunter.

Raina doodled a heart on her notebook, scribbled a line down the middle to signify its breaking, then slashed lines through the entire drawing. “Emma sent me a card,” she said.

“That’s nice. How is she doing?”

“We e-mail a lot these days. She’s still doing well with the transplant. She and Jon-Paul love each other so much. I know how it feels to love someone like that.”

Holly didn’t. She liked Chad, but she didn’t feel in love with him. Not with all her heart. Looking across the study table at Raina, Holly saw that she was slipping into melancholy. She shut her book. “You know what? I’m getting a craving for some ice cream. What do you say we knock off and go have sundaes at Udder Delight?”

Raina blinked and gathered up her books. “Sounds like a good plan.” When they got to the car, she turned to Holly. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For keeping me from going into a tailspin.”

Holly shrugged, grinned. “You may be less grateful if you get on the scale tomorrow.”

“Doubtful. Tomorrow’s the day
after
Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait.”

On Valentine’s Day evening, Stewart Milita invited Kathleen and Carson to join him and Mary Ellen at a fancy restaurant. Carson picked up Kathleen at her house. “You don’t look real happy to be doing this,” Carson said as they drove to the restaurant where Mary Ellen and Stewart were waiting.

“Does it show?”

“You’re wearing a sign on your face.”

“I’ll try to take it off before we get there.”

Carson shook his head. “What’s so bad about eating a free meal?”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t like the man all that much.”

“Then why are we going?”

“Because Mom wants me to go. She’s—well, all glowy. It’s dumb.”

“Don’t I make you all glowy? You make
me
all glowy.”

“Be serious. This is my mother here. She says she loves this guy and that they’re talking about getting married.”

“Sounds kind of normal to me.”

“Who’s going to take care of them?”

“They will take care of each other. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?”

Carson didn’t get it either, and Kathleen didn’t have the time or patience to explain it. They were at the restaurant all too soon. Once inside, Stewart stood and waved them over. He was a tall man with silvery hair, older than Kathleen’s mother, but not by much. He shook Carson’s hand. Kathleen watched, seeing the slight wobble of Stewart’s body when he stood, the hand that trembled slightly when he gestured for them to sit. “We’ve got the two prettiest women in the room,” Stewart told Carson.

Corny.
Kathleen struggled not to do an eye roll. Her mother’s smile was a hundred watts.

“True.” Carson picked up his menu. “What’s good?”

“We’re having lobster for two,” Mary Ellen offered with a giggle. “It’s the Valentine’s Day special. Get whatever you want.”

I’m going to gag,
Kathleen thought.

“Oh, look, babe, calamari,” Carson said, pointing to the menu.

Kathleen felt her face redden. He was reminding her of their first date at the country club and how she’d innocently ordered the dish without knowing what it was. She’d been trying to impress Stephanie, who’d come by their table uninvited.

“I didn’t know you liked squid,” Mary Ellen said.

“Um—” Kathleen shot daggers at Carson.

“Don’t care much for the stuff myself,” Stewart said, “but if you like it, I’ll get us an order.” Before she could protest, he called over the waiter and put in the order.

Kathleen fumed, but she checked her attitude. Her mother and Stewart seemed oblivious to her mood anyway. Carson had the gall to wink at her over the calamari when it arrived. She chewed on a couple of pieces, but Carson ate most of it.

Conversation flowed easily among Stewart, her mother and Carson. When Stewart heard that Carson wanted to be an EMT, he told long-winded stories about a friend of his who was a tech in New Jersey.

Mary Ellen asked Carson about his parents.

Stewart asked Kathleen about school.

At some point the meal was finished, and the waiter whisked away the plates and reappeared with a small cream cake, four glasses and a bottle of champagne. “Just a sip for the kids,” Stewart told the waiter, which annoyed Kathleen instantly.
The kids?
She wasn’t
his
kid.

When the champagne had been poured and handed around, Stewart and Mary Ellen gave each other beaming looks. “Stewart has something he wants to say.”

Wait for it,
Kathleen thought, knowing the announcement was the real reason for the dinner invitation.

Stewart fumbled in his jacket pocket, pulled out a ring box and handed it to Mary Ellen. She opened it, extracted the ring and handed it to him, and he slipped it on her finger. “Will you marry me, Mary Ellen McKensie?”

Mary Ellen’s eyes shimmered. “Of course I will.”

Kathleen’s heart raced like an out-of-control train.

Stewart turned to Kathleen. “Your mother and I wanted you to share this moment with us, Kathleen. I want you to know that I love her with all my heart. And I will take care of her for as long as we live.”

Kathleen felt Carson’s gaze on her, felt her mother’s joy like an aura around the table. In her mind’s eye, she saw her father fade away into the background. Tears filled her eyes. “Congratulations,” she said tightly.

She allowed them to think her tears were because she was happy for them, but deep down, she felt a minor shift in the earth’s movement. Things would never be the same in her home again. Her mother was moving on, and without fear of what tomorrow would bring. Kathleen felt numb. She couldn’t hold back the future.

“Have you set a date?” Carson asked, shaking Stewart’s hand.

Mary Ellen said, “Probably in September. After Kathleen gets settled in college. The wedding won’t be large. We’ll invite the members of our support group, your family, Vicki and the Harrisons, of course. I’ll want Kathleen to stand up with me.”

Kathleen forced a smile. “Sure, Mom.” Later in the car, before starting the engine, Carson put his arms around Kathleen and kissed her. “You did good, babe. Didn’t throw a fit, or anything. You okay?”

“I’m getting used to the idea.” She pulled back. “She’ll be a Milita and me a McKensie. Think about it. She won’t even have to change the monograms on her towels.”

Holly was late and hurtling through the hospital halls at a run. She skidded to a stop at the door of the recreation room on pediatrics, only to find that all the kids had been returned to their rooms. She’d missed the afternoon art session. She heaved a sigh and leaned against a wall to catch her breath. Mrs. Graham stepped out of her office. “Holly, I’ve been looking for you. Could you come in here, please?”

Holly blew out air and hurried into the closet-sized office of her supervisor. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Graham, but I couldn’t find a parking space, and then only two elevators were working in the lobby—”

Mrs. Graham looked grim. “I don’t care about that, Holly. I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Susan from oncology came in today with some difficult news.” Mrs. Graham picked up a paper from her desk. “It seems that Ben Keller has been readmitted. He’s relapsed and is being treated for leukemia again.”