Angels of Humility: A Novel (34 page)

“I hungry too. OK, let’s go.”

Kathy and Jordan sat at a table next to a husband, wife, and two children. The children finished eating and left to play in the ball pit. “Mommy, I play there,” said Jordan pointing.

As Jordan scampered off, Kathy rolled her eyes and commented to the couple, “Look at that, a few minutes ago he was totally exhausted. They must really pump those cows full of steroids,” she said laughing.

“I’m Richard Walker and this is my wife Susie.”

“My name is Kathy Reynolds.”

“Are you by any chance the wife of the pastor at the Victory church?”

Kathy’s heart sank.
How do I tactfully answer this?
“No, I mean yes. I am his wife, but he’s not the pastor there anymore, as of last night.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Susie.

“Actually, I’m not sorry to hear that at all,” replied Richard. Susie glared at him like he’d lost his mind and like she wanted to give him a swift kick under the table.

“Mrs. Reynolds, I’m director at the jail, and I offered your husband a job as chaplain awhile back, and he turned me down. I have not been able to fill this position no matter how hard I try. There’s an elderly lady named Sarah who used to visit inmates all the time, and she said that God specifically showed her that Paul was supposed to be the chaplain. Hearing from God is more your department than mine, but I just know she was really, really convinced.”

Kathy was more than a little taken aback. She didn’t know quite what to say.

“Have that husband of yours give me a call.” He handed her his business card. “We’re getting enough inmates now that I could probably even start him out three quarter or maybe even full time.”

“Thanks,” said Kathy staring at the card. “Thanks so much.”
And thank You, Lord
.

When Kathy and Jordan arrived home, Paul was gone. He came straggling in several hours later looking like death warmed over. He hadn’t shaved or bathed that morning.

“Honey, I’ve got the best news,” said Kathy handing him the card. “It’s a total God thing, an answer to our prayers. You haven’t even been fired from the church for 24 hours,” she winced at her poor choice of words, but continued, “and already God’s opened a door for you at the new jail.”

Paul looked at the card, crumpled it up, and threw it on the floor. “That’s what I think of the jail.” He turned abruptly.

“But, I, maybe you don’t understand.” She bent over and picked up the card. “The director wants to hire you. He has a job for you. He wants you to call him. Sarah even heard from the Lord—”

“I told you before, I don’t need any career advice from Sarah.”

The elation she had felt just minutes earlier evaporated, and her tone turned serious. “Paul, this is God’s blessing; it’s His will. You need to learn to do God’s will God’s way. You’re just fooling yourself if you think you can do God’s will
your
way.”

“I don’t need any advice from you, either,” he said defiantly.

“I thought you’d be excited. I-I don’t understand—”

“You don’t need to. You’re not out there doing the stuff; I’m the one who has to go to work every day. I have to weigh things out. I have to get a job I feel good about. I am the sole breadwinner in this marriage.”

Kathy clenched her teeth and exhaled through them while she held her face between her hands. She finally looked up. “Don’t you think it’s time you quit worrying about being recognized, about your precious reputation, your incredible future accomplishments?” Her volume was increasing. “You used to be concerned that the Lord’s name would be exalted; now it seems like you’re the only one you’re working to exalt. I’m sick of you feeding your ego. I’m sick of you playing your ‘look at me’ games, and I’m sick of your five-year plan. You’re eaten up with pride, and you don’t even know it. You need to repent and do what the Lord has called you to do,” she yelled, waving the business card toward him. “When are you going to grow up spiritually? You love having a Savior, but you resist having a Lord.”

The truth in her words had hit their mark. Paul glared at her, but remained silent. He was incapable of acknowledging her accuracy. He turned his back to her and swore under his breath.

She continued, her voice more calm this time, “Something bad happened when you became interim. Jesus was no longer your focus; you were the focus. Then it became ten times worse when you were voted in as pastor. You need to repent and get back to where you were. God is offering you a position as chaplain. The least you can do is pray about it.”

“You always want me to take the humble route; I’m tired of a poverty spirit. You just don’t understand me. I’m the one who will be out there working. It’s got to be something I’ll enjoy. Bottom line is, it’s my job, and I’ll be making the decision.”

“But we should be a team. We used to pray together, and if we were attacked by warfare, we’d fight it through together. You’d call me on the phone and explain some problem you were facing and then we’d pray. I felt like we were making an impact together. Now we’re not united at all. You’re off and running, and I’m not part of the decisions. I never even know what you’re thinking. Remember, I didn’t even know you had an offer,” she waved the business card again.

“I don’t tell you things because you’re always trying to run my life.”

“Duh, I am part of your life, remember? You married me. Just because you ran the church for a few months doesn’t mean you get to run me and every aspect of my life. You used to be so open to me participating with you, but it’s like you shut the Spirit out and now you just want to control everything, and you want me to follow you blindly. You won’t even listen to my input. I have no voice, Paul. I have no voice.”

“Oh, you have a voice alright—It goes nag, nag, nag.
And
I listen to you just fine. I listen to you ramble on and on and on! I just don’t agree with you.”

“I feel in my spirit that this jail opportunity is really God. It’s too much of a coincidence. This is the second offer. God brought it around again. I’ve been praying for you for months, Paul, and I don’t agree with you, either. I don’t think you’d even consider the fact that you might be in error. Why do you have to run everything your way? You’re like a one-man show.”

“Well, I gave you the position of Sunday school director. If you want to run something, you can run that.”

“Well that’s a moot point now, isn’t it?” As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She took a few steps toward him, her arms outstretched. “Paul, I’m sorry.”

He vented a long string of profanity toward her and turning abruptly, slamming the door. Kathy heard the tires squeal away from the driveway.

Why doesn’t she understand me? Why doesn’t she understand I’m concerned about promotion for me and my family?

“I can’t even believe I said that.” Kathy held the crumpled business card and sat in the overstuffed chair trying to distract herself by smoothing out the wrinkles. The printing on the card blurred as tears filled her eyes again and ran down her cheeks.

Lord, this isn’t how it was supposed to be. This is not the man I married. The man I married was passionate for You. He had a vision to do your will. He used to leave tracts everywhere—gas station restrooms, restaurant tables, and the library. Lord, all my hopes and dreams for our life together serving You are eaten up by his pride and insecurity.

Valoe stood behind her, hands on her shoulders, interceding as she sobbed out months of grief and pent-up anger to the Lord.

Paul’s familiar dark spirits fed off of his rage as he headed for Mt. Peilor.

“Working in a jail would sure be a demotion. You’d be working with drug addicts and thieves—the scum of the earth,” hissed Pride. “You were destined for bigger things.”

“Paul, the jail looks small, but God’s plan for it is huge,” whispered Saldu. “It looks demeaning, but it will bear so much fruit for God’s Kingdom. These prisoners are broken, but they know they’re broken and they’re hungry for God; they just don’t know how to find Him. There’s so many good things that Father has planned for you. Trust Him with your life, humble yourself, and serve these hurting men. When your life is over, you’ll be amazed at the rewards you receive. Everyone who humbles himself will be exalted!
³
Right now the focus of your life is yourself. Your purpose should be God’s Kingdom, but you’re actually a stumbling block.”

“Ha,” sneered Deception, smirking at Saldu, “Paul forgot he was put on this earth to bring glory to God’s name, not his own!”

Probably the only true words he’s ever spoken
, thought Saldu, sadly.

“You don’t need that jail,” scoffed Pride. “You can get a job anywhere. Under your leadership that church was really growing. People were praying
and visiting on Wednesday and Thursday. There hadn’t been that much action there in years. I can’t believe they fired you.”

“That’s right,” whispered Deception wrapping a tentacle around Paul’s chest, “you’re on the cutting edge. You’re a visionary. There was action going on at the church. Now that you’re gone, it will probably dwindle back to apathy.”

“You need to find another church and get out of this one-horse town. You should go somewhere where the people are a little more sophisticated, where they can appreciate your education, where they can appreciate you as the visionary you are. You’ve got drive, your five-year plan shows that,” added Self-Adulation.

Yeah, I’ve got drive. I’m not afraid of hard work. I just need a group of people who want to follow the Lord and be progressive. I’m sick of this, “We’ve-never-done-it-this-way-before” attitude.

“That’s exactly right, Paul,” croaked Deception wrapping another tentacle around his neck, “you’re too good for this backward town. You’ve got a master’s degree from seminary. What do these people know—?”

“Paul, don’t you realize you’re walking right into the enemy’s ambush?” Saldu interjected. “Use your discernment. Resist these flaming darts! Put up the shield of faith. God has great plans for you, but you have to follow His plans in His timing! You also need to turn this car around and go back and apologize to Kathy. You really wounded her. She loves you and really does have your best interest at heart. You need to turn the car around NOW, Paul. TURN AROUND NOW!”

Paul was so used to listening to his demonic cohorts that he could no longer identify the voice of truth. The spirits kept telling Paul exactly what he wanted to hear, and he kept listening all the way to Mt. Peilor.

“You probably shouldn’t have said half that stuff, but you need to go cool off, and you can always apologize when you get back,” said Manipulation. “You’re under a lot of stress. She’ll understand.”

Saldu’s power was useless until Paul repented and asked Father for help. He could only watch in revulsion while he prayed fervently.

Paul had never been to Mt. Peilor before. It was the biggest small town around for miles. He saw the exit for the business district and pulled off. Although he wasn’t aware of it, he was following instructions from the demons, and soon he ended up in front of the only business open this time on a Thursday night—a bar.

Paul’s dad had been an alcoholic. Growing up, Paul swore he would never touch the stuff. However, when things got stressful in college, he turned to the bottle for relief. When his dad died of cirrhosis of the liver, it was enough to scare Paul into quitting. Although alcohol hadn’t been much of a temptation since, he was surprised to feel that old impulse again.