C
HAPTER
34
Yvette
I
felt so behind, like I was drowning and trying to reach the surface. I was getting there, taking a breath, and then some force of nature kept pulling me back down again. I was getting tired of the fight, but I didn't want to die. I needed someone to pull me out of this water and rescue me before I sank to the bottom. I'd been praying and praying and praying. And hopefully, the interview I was about to go on was the answer to all my prayers.
Finally, one of the companies from the job fair had called. The position was for a human resources director for an insurance company. If I got it, it would be perfect. It was right downtown. I could catch the train. And the salary was just about what I was making before.
I pulled apart hangers and tried to search through my closet for something that fit and was interview worthy. I'd tried on a few suits for my interview. My suit jackets were tight, and my pants felt like they were about to split open. I settled on a blouse and black slacks that were a little wrinkled at the bottom. Hopefully, they would iron themselves out by the time I got to the interview. Being on time was more important than getting rid of a few wrinkles.
I left all the clothes I'd taken off the hangers on the bed and rushed downtown. My plan was to park in a parking lot, but the parking prices right around the office building were extremely high. I didn't have fifteen dollars for the first half hour, so I circled around and parked seven blocks away for free and walked to my interview.
I reached the office building ten minutes early. I checked in and went to the bathroom to check my appearance. I looked nice. I smiled at myself, took a deep breath, and hoped they hired me. I had to make a great impression, because I needed this job. I had my entire future paycheck spent already in my mind, and I hadn't even got the job yet.
An older white man name Samuel Creighton was my interviewer. He was wearing skinny, black-rimmed glasses to look over my résumé. I knew all the questions he was going to ask me, because so many times I had been on the other side of the desk, asking the questions. I had a seat and Mr. Creighton went right into going over my job history.
“So why did you leave your last job? You were there for a very long time.”
“Yes. Unfortunately, they were downsizing, so I was a salaried employee and they couldn't afford to keep me, so they laid me off and brought in an outside company to handle their payroll.”
“A lot of companies are doing that today. That's unfortunate,” he said as he gave me an understanding glance and further studied my resume.
“Yes, it is,” I agreed.
He asked me a few more questions. Then he said that he was very impressed and thought I would be the perfect candidate, because they needed someone to start immediately. Mr. Creighton explained he had a few more interviews this week, but he would know something by the end of next week and be in touch.
I think the interview went well. I drove home excited and hopeful. I felt good about the prospect of having a job again. The possibility of having employment again gave me the courage to open my bills. As soon as I was home I took the stack of bills and opened them one by one. When I moved here, I forwarded my mail here, and Phil's mail to his father's address, but somehow his got mixed in with mine. I could have been nice and put his new address on it; instead I tore his shit up.
Fuck him,
I thought. One thing was for certain, I couldn't keep letting the bills pile up and not do anything about them. I opened the electric bill and called them immediately ; I was scheduled to be shut off in two days. Thank God I called them first; they allowed me to make a payment arrangement. Then I contacted the gas company and was able to make an extension. The last thing I needed to handle was my storage company, because their notice read that they have been trying to reach me.
“Stanley Storage. How may I help you?” a male voice asked.
“Yes, I was calling to see how much I owed on my storage unit.” I gave the man on the other end of the call my name and he put me on hold. He came back on the line and said, “With late fees, the total amount on this account is three hundred and twenty-one dollars and two cents. You have until the twenty-sixth to pick it up.”
I wrote the information down and thanked him. I was happy to be finally getting everything in order. In less than an hour I had the status of three bills under control and felt a lot calmer. Just as I got up to contact the bill collector, Geneva called.
“Hey, Geneva.”
“Don't âHey, Geneva' me. I want you to stop avoiding me and come out and have a drink with me and Stacey. I want to get you out of that house.”
“I can't even afford a drink right now, though I need one.”
“Come on. I'm treating. Get out. Eric has the kids. We can laugh, talk. I promise you will feel so much better if you come out.”
“Okay, I'll go.”
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I didn't have anything new to wear, because I hadn't bought myself anything in months. But I looked in the back of my closet and found a cute shirt I hadn't worn and threw on jeans and heels and met up with my girls.
Geneva looked so pretty, and so did Stacey. Their hair and nails were done. Their shoes were cute. We ordered our first round of mango margaritas with Patrón Silver, and I began to feel at ease.
I sipped a little of my drink. “This is good. Whew. I really needed this,” I said, pointing to the drink.
“So what's going on? Girl, how are you managing?” Stacey inquired, stirring the pureed mango at the top of her drink.
“Managing by the grace of God. Besides the world coming for me, I'm doing okay. I think what keeps me going is the fact that I know that this can't last forever. And things are already looking up. I had a really good job interview today.”
“Yes, they are. The sun got to shine sometimes, right?” Geneva said and laughed. “You are so strong, and all you have to do is just keep praying and God will send you that miracle.”
“I know. It is just hard while you waiting on the miracle. I think not being able to pay for Mimi's tuition was the hardest thing. Then Brandon got suspended twice. I just keep thinking, âWhy me?' And then my car broke down again. It's just a lot . . . That's why I don't even feel like talking to anyone. I just want to be alone.”
“Well, that's not healthy. That's what friends and family are here for.”
“Yeah, but I just can't ever remember being this broke, it's really depressing. Not even when I was young and married to Doug, and we were poor. And speaking of Doug, he has been so good, sending me extra money for the kids. If I didn't know better, I would think Phil put roots or something on me. He is the devil.”
“You believe in that stuff?” Stacey asked.
“No, I believe in God, but how and why does all this stuff keep happening to me? I don't know that devilish man.”
“Phil's not the devil, but he's damn sure one of his agents and works for him. It will get better,” said Geneva.
“It will. You know what you need in the meantime?” Stacey asked.
“What do I need?” I asked sarcastically looking over at her.
“To get some.”
“Please. That's not going to work. It's something about not having money that kills my libido. I don't know about you, but I don't feel sexy when my bills are not paid. Hector kept pressuring me, and I met him at a hotel and did not enjoy myself. After that he gave up, just stopped calling me, and I'm glad. I'm just really trying to get me back together again. And secondly, since I gained this weight, I've noticed fewer men have tried to talk to me.”
“Whatever, but you did put on some weight. How much did you gain in total?” Stacey inquired.
“I don't know . . . like twenty pounds.”
“Damn, what are you doing sitting home eating your troubles away? That's a lot,” Stacey said. “I was going to say, âTake those marbles out the side of your mouth.' Damn, so Phil just ruining your life all the way around. If I was you I would just sell some pussy, to get some money,” she laughed.
“Huh, what the hell are you talking about, Stacey, who is a trick selling pussy? First, I'm never selling anything, and second it's so many chicks giving it out for free, I don't think it would work. You know, like when they go on vacation.”
“Yeah, but you got to do something to get some money. I'm not saying trick, just meet a guy with money and tell him you need your bills paid.”
“Right, I'm not doing that, but you try it and let me know how you make out. Anyway,” I said as I popped my eyes out at Geneva so she could check her girl. Stacey was getting on my nerves and I was getting ready to tell her off. I decided to change the topic. “So how are the children, Geneva?”
“Home with Eric. I'm surprised he hasn't called yet, asking me how to use the microwave. You know he is domestically challenged.”
“Yeah, he is.”
We talked a little more, then the waiter came over and asked if we wanted another round of drinks. I had already had one. I wasn't exactly buzzed, but a second drink would seal the deal. I took three big swallows of my drink and said, “I'll take another.”
“She doesn't need another drink. One is enough. She don't have any money,” Stacey said loudly.
My eyes went directly to hers. I couldn't believe that she had said I couldn't have another drink because I didn't have money.
“Wow, really, Stacey? Are you serious?” Geneva said.
“What I'm joking, give us all another round,” Stacey said to the waiter. At this point I didn't care if Stacey was serious or notâI was totally offended. I wanted to reach over and slap her.
Geneva tried to intervene. “That was uncalled for, Stacey.”
“No, don't say anything, Geneva. Stacey, you have a lot of damn nerve. When I had it, it was never a problem. Drinks were always on me. I hope you're never in my situation. But thanks for letting me know who my real friends are.”
“I swear I was only joking,” Stacey replied. “We joke all the time. You're being so damn sensitive.”
“Yeah, well, watch what you say. I've never been a broke bitch.” I left the table.
I've paid my way my whole life. I'm not going to let some no-name, corny bitch disrespect me. I always have paid my way and always will,
I thought as I walked out of the restaurant.
Geneva came up behind me. “She didn't mean it, Vette. I know she didn't. Don't leave.”
I stopped momentarily and said, “It is better that I leave before I beat the shit out of her. I came out to get away from everything and she is sitting here making jokes. This shit ain't funny.” I said as tears began to flush out of my eyes. Geneva consoled me and started patting my back and more tears poured out.
“I'm getting tired, Geneva. This is hard. Like, I can't pay my bills. I'm fighting not to break down. Trying to stay strong for my kids. Every day I wake up thinking, this is the day my life is going to be normal again. Thinking positive and nothing is changing. I don't know when it is going to end. When will I be me again?”
“I know it's been hard, but you have to pray. You have to just keep staying strong.”
“I've been praying. I don't know if God has a waiting list or what, because he hasn't answered me yet. I really can't take any more and that's why I'm leaving. I have enough problems. I don't need a fake friend kicking me when I'm down.”
“I know. No one knows how it feels. But don't give up on your faith. I promise you, when you least expect it, He is going to bless you.”
C
HAPTER
35
Crystal
T
he last time I had a conversation with Kenneth, he was cussing me out, telling me not to call him anymore and to let my husband be Kori's father. We tried to be civil with him when he brought Kori back that night, but ignorance was all he knew. He said, “Forget you, your husband, and our daughter.” Actually, he said something a lot harsher but, anyway, I told Rell not to worry about him. I didn't want them getting into anything. And that was easier said than done, because Rell had taken it personally that Kenneth had disrespected him, his wife, and his stepdaughter. I knew Kenneth and Syreeta were crazy, but Rell was not having the disrespect at all. That was why I wasn't sure if I should allow Kori to go anywhere with her dad for Thanksgiving.
I was sprinkling layers of cheese and bread crumbs over the top of my macaroni and cheese when Kenneth and Syreeta called, asking to have Kori for a few hours. I asked him if he was going to be in or out of her life. Kenneth promised he was in it now for good, so I would allow him one last chance to be her father. He came over to get Kori, and it was too cold to have him stand outside, so I invited him in while I got her dressed. I didn't think nothing of it, really, until Rell came home and saw Kenneth. With a shocked look on his face, he demanded that I come upstairs with him.
“Rell what's wrong? I'm getting Kori ready.”
“What the hell is he doing here in my living room?”
“He was waiting for Kori; it was cold so I told him to come in. He is her father.”
“I know who he is. You told me everything he's done and said to you. He's not allowed in hereâlet him wait outside. Let him turn his heat on.”
“But it was only for a few minutes.”
“I don't care. You heard what I said he's not allowed in this house anymore. What, you still like him or something? Why are you taking up for someone who don't give you any money for his daughter, and disrespects you anytime he gets ready.”
“No, I don't. I just thought . . . He asked for Kori for Thanksgiving. I was giving him one last chance to do right by her.”
“I don't care. He can't just decide when he wants to be a father. Matter of fact, I don't want to see this dude anywhere near her, you, or this house. She is not going with him. Go tell him to leave, or I will.” Rell was angry and I didn't want him to say anything to Kenneth and then they would start arguing.
I went back downstairs and scratched my head. “So, Kenneth, uh, she can't go with you. I've decided I want her to stay here with me and my family for the holiday.”
“What? This is my daughter too. Ain't nobody going to tell me I can't take mine. Now, Crystal, finish getting her clothes. Let me take her, and I'll bring her back, like, at eight.”
Rell came down the steps.
I was scared for a moment, like it was about to be a problem, but Kenneth just got up and left. Within a few moments Syreeta began calling my phone. I didn't want to answer, but she kept calling back.
“Answer your phone, Crystal; stop acting scared of him.”
“It's not him; it's his sister again.”
“I'm really getting tired of them,” Rell said as he grabbed my cell phone.
“Rell, stopâI'll answer it.” I answered and all I heard was yelling and screaming.
“Uhm, Crystal, didn't Kenneth just talk to you a few hours ago and you said he can come get that baby.”
“I did but some things came up and I changed my mind.”
“Well, you can't just tell people one thing and do another. You let my brother come all the way the hell over there. What the fuck kind of shit is that? I don't mean no harm, but your little husband needs to mind his business when it comes to my niece and what's going on between you and my brother. We just want to come and get Kori for a few hours. We ain't got no family. It's me and him and my kids, and he wanna come and grab his daughter. I don't see what the problem is.”
“Syreeta, he can't. He just can't do things when he wants to. My husband doesn't have anything to do with this. She can't go, and that's it.”
“Crystal, my brother is on his way back over there, and you are going to send the baby out, or else.”
“Or else what?”
“Bitch, you don't even want to find out.”
Rell snatched the phone from me. “Listen, this shit is over today. You and your brother don't run shit and you not going to keep disrespecting my wife. If you want to see Kori so bad, tell your brother to go see a judge and get a visitation order. Until then stop calling my wife and tell your brother to stay away from my family.” After he ended the call with Syreeta, he fussed at me some more for still tolerating them.
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Thanksgiving was being held at my house, and I was happy. I had to pretend like Kenneth and Syreeta didn't almost ruin everything. I would deal with them later. I pulled all the food out of the oven as our guests started to arrive. I hadn't seen Dana in a while. I wasn't mad at her anymore. She brought pies, and when she came in, I just gave her a hug. All was forgiven.
“I'm sorry,” she said.
“I know. I'm sorry, too,” I said as I hugged my sister. I knew she meant well but didn't know exactly how to express herself.
“This is my boyfriend, Adam. Adam, this is one of my big sisters, Crystal,” Dana said.
“Hello. Nice to meet you. That's my husband, Terell,” I replied. Her boyfriend, Adam . . . Wow, so much had changed. I was married, and Dana was dating a white man.
I told them to have a seat and waited for everyone else to join us.
Dana picked up Kori and remarked, “I missed y'all. Look how big she got!”
My parents arrived next, and Daddy said hello to Adam. I think Daddy was a little surprised, but he played it off. He instantly bonded over the game with him.
I never thought the day would come that my husband and my father and Dana and her white boyfriend, Adam, would all sit happily in front of my sixty-inch television, watching the game in my house.
My father was so accepting of Rell now, and for the first time I thought he approved of my life.
Just as I had that thought, my mom said, “I'm so proud of you, Crystal. I was just telling your daddy how you got your husband, a new car, and how your life is really coming together. And I love that big television downstairs.”
“Thank you, Mom. Is Vette coming?”
“Yeah. Where are Vette and the kids? Let me call her. She was supposed to bring that other salad.”