As soon as she slides under the covers she curls back up on her side facing away from me. I stand there for I don’t know how long just watching her. There is an ache deep in my chest. I don’t know how it happened or when it happened, but this beautiful girl means the world to me. I am brought out of my trance when a soft voice whispers, “Are you coming to bed?” Allison is looking at me with concern written on her face. God I love this girl … Wait!
Holy fuck! Was I in love with her?
I love her smile, her voice, the way she takes care of everyone. I love that she’s mine and that I’m the one that will be holding her tonight and I’m the one that she will be waking up to tomorrow.
I’m in love with Allison.
Instead of panic, I am elated. I love her and even though she may not be ready to hear it, I know it’s true. What a difference embracing your feelings can make. Shit, if I am being honest, I think that I fell in love with her the day we met. There no other explanation for the way I was consumed by her. Never in my life have I felt this way. I start to wonder if Allison feels the same way. When she looks at me I can see affection, but is it love? I’m not sure but I am going to spend every day from here on out telling her how beautiful and amazing she is. Maybe in time she will love me, as long as she remains mine, I can deal with anything.
I turn off the light and slid into bed and tug the covers up over us. I reach for her as she moves back into my chest. I drape my arms around her and kiss her on top of the head. “Goodnight, beautiful girl,” I sigh with content. Finally she is where she belongs. We lay there quietly enjoying being in the moment for a quite a while until I can feel her body relax and I know that she has fallen back to sleep. “I’m never gonna let you go,” I whisper before darkness claims me.
I wake up feeling like I am being crushed. I open my eyes and it all comes rushing back to me. Liam. I am lying flat on my back and he is sleeping soundly with his head on my chest, arms around my waist and his leg thrown over mine. I can’t prevent the smile that I know I was sporting. He held me in his arms all night. I glance out the window and it’s still dark outside, good. This gives me some time to watch him in the shadows. I move my hand to his head and begin running my fingers through his hair. Liam has taken me by storm: body, mind and heart. I was worried that he would want more from me before I am ready and even that he is “playing me” to get into my pants, but he has treated me with nothing but love and respect. Love? I highly doubt that it’s love but I can tell that he truly cares for me. The way he looks at me, touches me, holds me. He makes me feel wanted.
I can feel myself falling harder and faster by the minute. I’m scared as hell, but I’m going to go with it. I’m going to paint my colors on the canvas of life and see how the picture turns out. My only hope is that Liam and I can continue on this journey together.
I continue running my fingers through his hair, watching him sleep when a loud clap of thunder rumbles through. I jump not expecting it and Liam bolts up. “Allie, what’s wrong?” I can’t contain the laugh that escapes me.
“Nothing, the thunder just scared me, I wasn’t expecting it,” I tell him as he pulls me into his arms.
“Did it wake you up baby?” he asks softly as he strokes his fingers across my back.
“No, I was awake,” I reply just as softly.
“What? Why were you awake? Are you okay?” he asks.
I giggle at how concerned he is for me. “Liam, I’m fine. I was … I was watching you sleep.” I reach up and run my hands through his hair. “I was doing this, and memorizing everything that I could about you.” I decide honestly is the best policy. Well almost, I refuse to tell him that I think I’m in love with him. Hell to the no! That would scare him off for sure.
“I thought that I was dreaming, but you’re really here,” he speaks softly into my neck.
“Yes, I’m here. You can go back to sleep, I’m sorry that I woke you.” I curl tighter against his chest.
Liam tugs the covers back over us and kisses the top of my head. “Can we spend the day together?” he asks me groggily. I’m not completely sure that he’s not talking in his sleep. I hold in the chuckle that wants to escape me. I don’t want to wake him again if he is sleeping.
“I would want nothing more,” I reply honestly.
I lay there against his chest feeling the rise and fall for several minutes before I start to feel my eyes grow heavy. I shift a little, settling in further and feel Liam’s grip tighten on me. I drift off to sleep safe in his arms.
I wake up to the sound of pouring rain and pounding thunder. I reach across the bed for Liam but he isn’t there. I hear a soft chuckle and the sound of the door closing. I look over and find Liam walking towards me with a tray full of food.
He leans down to kiss me. “Good morning my beautiful girlfriend.” He sits the tray on the side of the bed. “Did you miss me?” he asks cockily.
“Always,” I decide he needs to know the truth. I am so far gone when it came to him, and he needs to know he has the power to tear me apart. “Why were you laughing?” I question him although I have a pretty good idea.
He smiles at me. “I saw you reach for me. The pout on your face once you realized I was no longer in bed was adorable.” He taps the tip of my nose with his index finger. He then proceeds to feed me bites of fresh fruit and French toast.
“This is amazing, did you make this?” I question between bites.
“Yes, beautiful, I did. I wanted to do something special for you,” he laughs. “Hales, however, is not too happy that she has to take over and finish for her Blitzen and Aiden. I was in a hurry to get back to you.”
I lean in to kiss him on the lips, “Thank you for making me breakfast in bed.”
“I have to admit I kind of had an ulterior motive,” he winks at me.
“Oh yeah, and what might that be?” I ask as he feeds me my last bite of French toast.
Liam sits the tray on his night stand. “Well, I have an amazing, beautiful, sexy girlfriend and I am hoping that I can convince her to spend the rainy day in bed with me.”
I bite my lip, was I ready for that? “Liam …”
He places his fingers over my lips. “Baby, I just want to hold you and spend time with you. When we make love for the first time, we will be alone and you will be one hundred percent certain that you are ready to take that step. All I need is you, beautiful girl.” Then he kisses me soft and slow. We kiss for what seems like hours only stopping long enough to catch our breath before our lips merge once again.
Liam is so gentle and caring with me. Touching me everywhere, caressing me, but never taking things too far. Honestly, I want him to take things further. I crave the way he makes me feel. I am also really enjoying making out with my boyfriend. This is not something that I have experienced, so it is nice to lounge around in his bed kissing, touching getting to know each other more intimately. We also talk a lot. Liam tells me about the draft and how nervous he is. I don’t want to think about that. As of this morning, I am able to admit to myself that I am in love with him. When he gets drafted and has to leave me, I’m not sure how I’m going to cope. I knew going into this that I would get my heart broken, but it didn’t stop me from forging ahead. I guess we will cross the bridge when we come to it. Liam tenses up when we talk about him moving away. I can tell that it is not something that he is looking forward to now that we were together either. We still have several months to think about that. I am going to just take it one day at a time.
I am currently wrapped in Liam’s arms his front to my back. We have decided to take a nap when there is a light knock at the door. “Go away,” Liam growls at the intruder.
I can’t help it, I giggle. In retaliation, Liam starts to tickle me and my giggle turns into full blown laughter. “Uh guys, ready or not here we come,” Hailey says as she swings the door open. Liam releases me and I try to gain my composure.
Hailey shakes her head. “Hey love birds. Aiden and I are headed to mom and dads for lunch, are you two coming with us?”
“No,” Liam growls at her. “We are staying in this room all day. Tell mom and dad we said hello.” With that he draws me tight into his arms and kisses my shoulder.
Aiden appears behind Hailey. “He said no, didn’t he?” he asks her.
“Yep, the beast has been tamed.” They both roar with laughter.
“Your damn right I have, now get the hell out so I can take a nap with my girl.” He then throws a pillow at the door.
Hailey and Aiden back out and shut the door. I can hear them laughing all the way down the hall. “Liam, we can go to your parents if you want.”
“I don’t want. I want to lay here with you in my arms. I want to enjoy that fact that you are mine, and I no longer have to lay here in this exact spot and wonder what it would feel like to hold you. I can do that now and that’s all I want. Allison you have no idea the effect that you have on me. I am consumed by you, and until forty-eight hours ago, having you here was a dream. You have now made my dreams a reality and I am not ready to step outside this bubble of happiness. Football games are gearing up and my time with you will be cut short with away games, school and practice.” He leans over me so that he can look in my eyes. “I just want to be with you today, baby.”
I nod my head in agreement because words fail me. If there was ever any doubts that I love him, that last little speech just washed them all away. Liam holds my heart and I am scared as hell to tell him.
Time is flying by. Allison and I have spent every spare minute together. We have adjusted to our life as a couple rather seamlessly. We have received several questioning stares around campus but I could care less, they will get used to us and move on to someone else soon enough. Tonight is the first football game of the season and I am stoked to have my girl in the stands. Last night she stayed over since she doesn’t have class on Fridays. We have spent the entire day together. I couldn’t be happier.
I just finished zipping up my equipment bag when Allison comes walking out of my bathroom. She smiles at me which makes my heart kick into overdrive just like always. She begins to get dressed and starts looking around like she has lost something. Which she has, I hid the shirt that she had picked out to wear, because I want her to wear my jersey. I want everyone there to know she’s mine.
“Babe, have you seen my shirt?” I smile at her calling me babe. We have fallen quite well into our relationship.
“Yep, I hung it back up in the closet,” I smile sweetly at her.
“Why would you do that?” she questions as he heads towards the closet. I reach out and grab her hand.
I take a deep breath, why I was nervous I have no idea. “I was actually hoping that you would wear this.” I hold up my away jersey for her to see.
She smiles at me, her emerald eyes sparkling. “You want me to wear your jersey?” She drapes her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply. “Can I tell you a secret?” she waits for me to respond, I nod my head yes. “I really wanted to wear it, but I wanted you to ask me. I didn’t want to be
that girl
. You know the one who parades around wearing her boyfriend’s jersey, staking her claim.”
I tuck a loose hair behind her ear. “Baby, you are not
that girl,
you’re
my
girl and you staking your claim would make me very happy.” Then I kiss her, trying to convey to her that she is means everything to me. The past few months have been the best of my life, even before she was mine and I can’t picture my life, my future without her in it. I still have yet to tell her that I am in love with her. Several times it’s almost slipped but I want the moment to be right. I want her to always remember it. I’m hoping that all goes well for our trip to my parent’s beach house tomorrow and I can tell her then. I need her to know what she means to me.
Allison has slept in my jersey several times and that too is a vision that I will always remember. Today she is just as beautiful wearing it with her jeans and tennis shoes. She has her hair pulled into a side ponytail my name and number clearly visible on her back. She also has a small number seventeen on her cheek. I kiss my number. “You’re beautiful,” I tell her as I lead her out of our room and down the hall. Aiden and Hailey are ready and waiting.