Apprehension and Desire: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (19 page)

“Do you think he is offended?” she asked, placing her small hand on his thigh, her tone concerned.

“I do not know. It was hard to read his expression,” he said, his blood running faster again. Did she know what he felt when she touched him like that?

Her hand on his leg pressed harder. “I do not wish for Mr. Bingley to be angry with you. I do not want you losing a friend,” she said, her expression earnest.

At this very moment, Darcy could not care less whether Bingley would ever speak to him or not. He wanted her fingers to move higher, inside his thigh; it was all he was able to think about.

“I am so pleased he is back, though,” she continued, “Perhaps he and Jane will come to an understanding now. I think that he still likes her. He called yesterday in the afternoon and again today in the morning. Had it not been for your letter...You know how grateful I am that you wrote...” At some point in her speech, he stopped listening, concentrating entirely on the sensation of her being so close to him, her small hand settled on his thigh. He started to listen again when her fingers brushed a few inches higher.

“I have almost forgotten. I received a letter from Aunt Gardiner yesterday. She writes about our trip, it seems that she and uncle have certain concerns.”

He frowned. “Concerns?”

He did not want to hear that her relatives wanted to postpone the trip or, even worse, call it off.

“Yes. My uncle's business will not allow him to travel so far as the lake district this summer. They will only have time to tour Derbyshire.”

He relaxed instantly. “That is even better. I will have you at Pemberley for a longer time, not just a few short days. That is excellent news. I will take you to the lakes next spring, I promise.”

“My aunt wants to know whether you are willing to host us for the entire period of the stay, or should they look for accommodations at the inn in Lambton.”

“The inn!” he snorted. “Certainly not. You must stay at Pemberley. It is the best place for taking trips about the area.”

She looked up at him with smile. “Thank you. I will write to my aunt yet today.”

He leaned and whispered into her ear, his voice needy, even to his own ears. “Love, could we go somewhere where no one could see us?”

She gave him a quizzical look, biting her lower lip.

He nuzzled her temple. “Please, I will go away tomorrow. We will not see each other for weeks.”

She blushed and lowered her head. “You said I should not trust you.”

He kissed her neck, breathing into her ear. “Please.”

She stood up and extended her hand. He was about to reach for his gift, but she shook her head.

“Leave it here. We cannot be away for a long time anyway. No one will take it.”

She took his arm and led him towards the tall hedgerow. When they were close to it, she looked around and quickly stepped inside, between the thick branches. He stared for a moment before he felt her grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.

On the other side there was a small clearing with fresh grass, enclosed by a high brick wall, approximately his height.

She stepped to him. “No one will see us here. I used to hide in here as a child when I did not want anyone to find me.”

“I will not... go too far. “ He touched her arm. “I just want to hold and kiss you.”

“I know,” she whispered and pulled him close, her arms wrapped around his waist.

They began kissing, his heart melting at how sweetly and willingly she responded to him.

“I want to see your breasts,” he murmured, before he could think what he asked her for.

She stiffened instantly, removed her hands from his middle and stepped away. Idiot! he thought. Now he had offended her, and she would walk away from him or, worse, slap him.

Slowly, looking into his eyes, her hands went to the front of her spenser, and she opened it. She removed the garment and placed it neatly on the ground. Then she reached to her back and began unbuttoning her dress. As the yellow muslin loosened, she pushed the short sleeves aside, lowering the top of her dress.

Darcy stared at the newly uncovered flesh. Her stays pushed her breasts upward, and he could clearly see wide, dusky nipples through the nearly transparent chemise.

He took her mouth while his hand stroked down her back in slow caress till she relaxed. Then he pushed the straps of the undergarment and bared her. She was... he lacked the right words, perfect, beautiful. He had so many times wondered what her bosom looked like, but the reality exceeded his imagination. She was so lovely, and he was one lucky gent/gentleman to have her.

He forced himself to tear his eyes away from her breasts and move them up to her face. She was flushed, her face so unsure. At last she covered herself with her hands.

“No, please.” He pushed her hands away. “You are beautiful.”

She stepped closer, hiding her face and body from his view. “I am not.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You are to me.”

Keeping her close, his hand moved down to touch one plump, warm mound. He stroked her breast lightly, till she sighed and shivered. He felt her warm mouth on his jaw, as she strained against him.

Darcy wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to himself, wondering what he could do here, behind the hedgerow, for this short amount of time they had.

He looked into her eyes. “Trust me?”

She nodded without hesitation. He stepped back from her to remove his coat. For a short moment she made a gesture as if she had wanted to cover herself again, but then she forced her hands to stay back along her sides.

He spread his coat on the grass and quickly pulled her down with him.

“Comfortable?” he asked, reclining by her side. She smiled, her dark green eyes staring trustingly into his.

His lips suckled on the soft skin of her neck, but gently, so as not to mark her. He would do that after the wedding, and then he would not care whether someone would see it or not. Her breasts lured him down, and he began kissing, suckling and stroking. She strained against his hands and mouth, eyes closed, making sweet, little, clipped noises at the back of her throat. She must have liked it; he had already noticed before that she reacted  passionately when he touched her breasts. He tried to envelop one mound in his hand; she was quite a handful to be sure.

He kissed the path back to her jaw line and whispered. “You must be quiet so nobody can hear us.”

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him and bringing him closer. As they kissed, with one move of his hand, he hitched up her skirt, his hand stroking his way inside her thigh. She gasped into his mouth as he slid his fingers between her soft, warm thighs. Her legs parted, allowing him better access. He felt the soft, moist curls, and then the delicate flesh. He stroked and petted her for a moment only, but it was enough. Her pelvis pushed against his hand, her teeth bit her lower lip, her eyes squeezed tight, and she moaned. The next moment she was all relaxed, her hot creamy essence flowing over his fingers.

Recalling his earlier encounters with the opposite sex, he did not think that a woman could be so responsive, become aroused so quickly. He had not truly tried hard to please Elizabeth. He was a blessed man that she was so passionate. He knew that not all wives behaved in such a way. He remembered how his cousin had once confessed to him that his wife used to lie flat on the bed  and say to him to just do it and leave her.

He lifted higher on his arm, gazing at her prone body next to him. She seemed to be sleeping, her eyes closed, her face turned into his waistcoat. He knew he could do everything now, and she would not protest. He crouched in front of her and lifted her skirt together with the mass of petticoats, piling everything around her waist. His hands rested on her knees and he spread her thighs wider. He combed the wet curls away from her centre to see better; her flesh was deeply pink, her small slit glistened with moisture. He tore at the opening of his breeches, and pulled out his manhood, directing it straight to her opening. He teased himself for a moment, touching the tip of his member against her flesh, at the same time knowing very well that he could not do it to her now. She deserved better than losing her virginity on the hard ground, without any real comfort or even complete privacy.

Heavily, he laid down on her body and slowly started rubbing himself against her. It was heaven to have her under him, even with their clothes as a barrier between them. She held on to him, cradling him to her. As he had been almost aroused since the moment he had seen her today, it did not take him long to reach his own release. He emptied his seed on her belly and dropped on the ground beside her.

She scooted to his side, rubbing her nose against his waistcoat. “Have we...?”

“No, we have not.” He pulled her to him, kissing her head.

“But I felt you,” she whispered.

“No, I only rubbed against you.” He stretched lazily.“You will see how different it is when I enter you on our wedding night.”

He wanted to cuddle with her, place his hand on her breast, her plump, warm thigh wrapped around him, and take a nap. It was hardly a place or time for such a pleasure. Gathering all his strength, his self discipline, he sat up and righted his breeches. Reaching to the pocket, he took out his handkerchief, and carefully wiped clean her soft, rounded belly.

She was still groggy as he pulled her to her feet, adjusted her chemise and buttoned up her dress.

“Was I... Have I done everything right?” she asked, as he helped her into the spencer.

He cupped her face, making sure their eyes met. “Do you regret what we have done?”

“No, but... I know so little. I do not wish to disappoint you.”

He laughed, “Lizzy, I could swear you were born to be loved like that.”

“I have never... no other man has ever,” she stuttered, her face red to the roots of her hair.

“God, Elizabeth, I did not want to imply that...“ He shook his head. “I do not want to offend you, love. I feel that sometimes I should not speak and only keep my mouth shut. I am lucky that you responded to me in such a way.”

She still looked troubled, so he wrapped her into his embrace, moulding her into his frame. “We have done nothing wrong,” he whispered, “You are mine, we are engaged and about to be married in less than three months. Promise you will not think less of yourself because of what happened here. Promise?” he prompted her.

She nodded.

“Yes?” he did not give up till he heard it.

“I promise.”

“Good.”

He pulled away from her to collect his coat from the ground.

They checked each other’s attire carefully, making sure it did not give hints as to their recent activities, and returned on the main path of the garden.

Darcy finished arranging the mail on his desk, as he intended to spend the  rest of the day answering letters. His long absence from Pemberley had allowed several urgent matters to accumulate, and he needed to address them without further delay. After his wedding, he planned to spend most of the year at Pemberley, using the Darcy townhouse in London only occasionally. He had not yet spoken about this with Elizabeth, but he had little doubt that she shared his attitude, being raised in the country, enjoying long walks and fresh air.

There was a knock on the door as he was in the middle of reading the first letter. He scowled at the disturbance, having specifically asked not to be interrupted.

The knock repeated.

“Enter,” he said in clipped voice.

The butler walked in. “New mail has just arrived.”

“Thank you. Leave it there.” He pointed to the small side table, without taking his eyes from the letter.

He did not hear the servant leave, so he lifted his gaze. “Yes? Something else?”

“A letter from Hertfordshire is on the top, Master. Miss Darcy suggested I bring it to you without delay.”

Darcy nearly leaped from behind his desk. “Why did you not say so from the start?” He grabbed the first letter, recognising Elizabeth’s neat handwriting. “Remember to always notify me immediately whenever a letter from Miss Bennet comes.”

The servant bowed, “Yes, Master.”

“You may go now, and thank you,” he smiled at the older man, who had served his parents, before he had even been born.

The servant hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “May I also add how we are all very glad that soon there will be a new Mistress at Pemberley.”

Darcy’s smile grew wider. “I hope you will welcome her warmly. Miss Bennet is young and may feel apprehensive about her new role.”

“Yes, Master. We will do everything to make her feel at home.” The man bowed again and left the room.

Alone again, Darcy stretched in a chair next to the window and tore the seal. He was surprised to receive the letter so soon, and he hoped dearly that nothing bad had happened.

He took a calming breath and began to scan a tightly written single page.

Dear William,

I imagine your surprise at receiving a letter from me only a few days after your departure. However, what has happened here today induces me to write it. I want to assure you that I am in good health, much as I hope you and Georgiana are.