April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions (44 page)

Lina tugs at my arm and we head away from the crowd. Instead of going to the counter for a drink, we duck into the hallway where the soda machines are.

“What’s going on?” Lina asks me. Her eyes are perplexed. I don’t know how else to tell my cousin what is going on. My responding text message has alerted Lina. 

“I can’t do this with him.” The truth rushes from my mouth. I need to vent and ruminate. “Choi Sangwoo. I can’t continue to see him.”

Lina stares at me with confusion and shock. “What are you talking about May? What happened?”

“Misun,” her name slips out of my mouth. “Lina. He . . . Sangwoo has pictures of her with him. They were together.” The words are stuck in my throat. I am not sure if I am shaking from the painful memory or the confession.

Lina’s eyes enlarge. She places a hand on her mouth. Tugging at my arm, my cousin pulls me against the wall. Her voice trembles. “Are you sure?”

I nod my head. “It makes so much sense now why he’s chasing me.”

My cousin can hardly believe it. “Okay. We’ll figure something out.” Lina reels from the news. She examines my face. “You do look like her . . . when she was this age.”

I close my eyes; I refuse to listen to Lina reminisce. “I didn’t come here for that Lina. I need you to help me figure out how to get rid of him. I really need to
do this.”

Lina nods her head slowly. “We’ll talk about this later.” Then, she changes her mind. “Actually, give me a second while I let my friends know I’m leaving.”

I nod in return. Good. I will have her by my side to digest all this.
They always say breakups are hard to do and you can’t do it alone.
My intuition purses her lips.

Waiting anxiously, I watch Lina retreat to the main room. I’m too engrossed to notice that I am not alone. Suddenly, I feel his presence.

“I hear the new Pepsi Vanilla is good.” Leaning against the wall as though he owns the building, Choi Sangwoo’s smoldering gaze renders me just as speechless as his surprise appearance. He is dressed down in a navy blue sweatshirt over dark jeans. The conventional CEO gang leader is currently replaced by this down-to-earth man.

Stalker!
my intuition hisses. She recoils from his intense gaze.

“Sangwoo.” Surprise colors my tone. How did he know I was going to be here? “What are you doing here?”

“Just catching the movie.” Sangwoo nonchalantly leans against the soda machine. He surveys my facial expression with great interest. When I don’t relent, Sangwoo admits, “I called you several times and left you messages. I was worried something happened to you last night. I had Ren track you down. I’m sorry if I’m being overwhelming. I just worry about your safety.”

I am breathless at his admittance. Not only is he keeping a close tab on me, but Sangwoo also has the ability to turn it into something of good intentions. I am dealing with a very dangerous man. Admitting defeat, I turn back to the soda machine to avoid his intense eyes. I extract some change out of my pocket and make a scene of putting them into the coin slot.

Sangwoo watches me with a guarded expression. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have drunk so much. Thank you for taking care of me, again.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him shortly. I busy myself with selecting the new Pepsi Vanilla can. When the can clatters down the machine, Sangwoo retrieves it for me. “Thank you,” I mumble.

“If I said anything that wasn’t right, I’m sorry.” Sangwoo watches my every move. “I’m an idiot when I drink. Of course you already know this.”

I flush at the thought of how we met. I hold the cold soda in my hands as I try to smile naturally at him. “It’s ok. You’re going through a lot. Besides, I forgot most of the stuff you said anyway,” I lie to him.

“Really? Well, I hope you didn’t forget what I said about liking you,” Sangwoo replies, leaning closer. “Because I remember clearly saying that.”

I can only stare at Choi Sangwoo. No boy has ever outwardly confessed to me. It is the strangest sensation ever. And it scares me half-to-death. “You really mean that?”

Sangwoo smiles. He enjoys the drained look on my face. “What are you surprised for?”

Because you’re obsessed with Misun and you want me to replace her
, my intuition snaps. I attempt to play it off with a laugh. We both know the true reason why he’s attracted to me, but we are playing this constant game of guesses. “Are you sure you got all that alcohol out of your system?” I attempt to ease my passive-aggressiveness with him. 

“I have.” He gives me an intense look. Sangwoo shifts on his own two feet and composes himself. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

I glance back at Mula. My search for Lina is useless. My cousin is lost in the sea of people.

“Spend some time with my cousin,” I tell Sangwoo.

“I thought you spent some time with her yesterday already.” Sangwoo’s gang leader complex is evident in his tone. “Can I borrow you for the afternoon?”

What world did he come from? Who says things like that? “Sangwoo,” I begin to articulate myself. How do I tell him I need some time and distance from his intense concentration on me? I don’t want to spend more time with him. How do I tell him I know the truth? One look into Sangwoo’s intense stare and I know I can’t yet. I need one final confirmation.

I must look like a lost puppy because Sangwoo stares at me with apprehension. I hope it’s not another funeral crashing moment. I want to ask him if it is, but I am well aware of the fact that I don’t know Sangwoo’s personality the way I should.

“I can spare a couple of hours.” It feels like I am admitting defeat. I don’t know how else to communicate with this gang leader.
No! You need to get away from him!
my intuition snarls.
He’s trying to salvage this non-existent relationship and garner your pity! This is his last ditch effort!

“I’ll only take a few hours of your time.” Sangwoo reaches down for my hand.

The simple impact of his palm against mine causes me to gasp. His name, his face, and his actions transport me to my memories. All over again, I hear the voice, “
His name is Choi Sangwoo! I’m in love.”
I launch into a vortex of memories, spinning until I am dizzy.

I open my eyes to see Choi Sangwoo’s eyes peering inquisitively into mine. “May?”

“Sorry?” I stare up at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yes.”

“Ok. Let’s go.” Sangwoo motions toward the door. Sangwoo has a complex look on his face as if he is deciding what to do with me. Making up his mind, Sangwoo places an arm around me, drawing me closer to him. His touch makes me forget my senses. “We’re going to have a good day today. Trust me.”

I trust you like I would trust playing Russian Roulette.
My intuition is bitter. I’ve betrayed her.

There is an internal war going on in me. Maybe it is because I am convinced that no matter what kind of fairytale day Sangwoo has up his sleeve I will not fall for it. Maybe it is because I want to see who Choi Sangwoo is. Maybe it is because of an unspoken reason that draws me to him . . . .

I stop by the front entrance to tell Lina I have to go. She is speechless when she sees who is in my company. Her gaze lingers on Sangwoo, guarded and suspicious. “Are you sure?” My cousin asks me in a whisper.

I nod my head. From our distance, I glance back to see Sangwoo staring at us with an impenetrable gaze. I promise to call Lina later. My cousin holds onto my arm a little too long before she finally relents. She makes me promise again
before she finally lets me go. Lina disapproves, I know.

I follow Sangwoo out of Mula to the awaiting car–yet another black-on-black Mercedes E-class.
What are you doing May?
My intuition is not happy when I get into the car. Sangwoo starts the engine and an energetic trance beat invades the quiet space. The dark windows are up, but a gentle mist paces the car.

“Where are we going?” I hold my breath at his answer.

“A place for you to get to know me,” is Sangwoo’s short reply.

I stiffen in my seat at his unexpected response. I wonder where this place could be. I have to remind myself that I am not sitting in this car as Sangwoo’s girlfriend. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a real boyfriend, so maybe I’m all wrong for thinking his intentions are romantic. Sangwoo’s mentioned before that he wants me by his side, but he never said anything about a girlfriend. Now, I am all discombobulated.

Maybe I don’t know what to do when someone is showing interest in me. Sure, you can count Jun in the fourth grade when he knocked that dodge ball into my head to ask me out. Then, there was Bon in the fifth grade who cut a lock of my hair as a courtship ritual followed by the men in his household. But none of them have wanted me, pursued me, and chased me the way Choi Sangwoo does.

“W
E’RE HERE,” SANGWOO ANNOUNCES AFTER
the half-an-hour drive. The car slows down in the parking lot of Bae Scenic Park, a private park with its own-gated entrance. Sangwoo turns off the engine of the car. We sit in the car for a moment, staring at the scenery. Bae is Seoul’s most popular park because it’s reminiscent of a portrait. Deep brown mountains surround the area along with a lively lake–mild slopes drop into massive areas of green grass.

“We’re having a picnic here?” I ask as Sangwoo when we get out of the car.

“Yes,” Sangwoo replies. He reaches down and nonchalantly intertwines his fingers into mine.

I jump slightly. Sangwoo rewards me with a look that lets me know he wants to hold my hand. I do not understand his motives, but I don’t have the heart to take my hand back. I hurt for him. This poor soul thinks I am someone else. I just want to hear him out today, and he is getting the wrong message.
Be a bitch and tell him to get lost
. My intuition yawns. I do my best to ignore her. She is impulsive.

I expect us to get onto the trail and walk, but Sangwoo leads me off the trail and down the hills towards the quad area of the park. As we get closer, I hear the spontaneous commotion. When we finally descend the grassy knolls, large white tents hanging like canopies above various picnic ta
bles come into view. Crowds of people scatter in and around the tents. It is a barbecue party; loud chatter, laughter, and commotion surround a large, modern grill. Dance music is playing above the tents. I was not expecting this big of a production.

When we get closer to the crowd, Sangwoo’s simple presence stops everyone in their tracks. Even those who are
busy eating and chattering pause. “Boss.”

It is easy to see the impact of Sangwoo’s presence on his members. His relaxed demeanor eases them, however. It all happens very fast. Sangwoo secures the hold he has on my hand.
Oh no. He’s introducing you to everyone and their moms
, my intuition groans. Sangwoo pulls me deeper into the crowd.

“Let me introduce you to some of my most trusted men. David, Shawn, Kevin, Phillip, James, and you already know Ren over there.” Sangwoo points out a particular group of men standing to the far left. They are faces–one facial expression blending into the next. Some of the men look vaguely familiar; some of them I recognize from The Trax–the very first Saturday I met Choi Sangwoo. All of them, except for Ren, stare intently at me during Sangwoo’s introduction. I can feel the spotlight on me.

“Oh my god.”

“She looks–”

“Is this possible?”

Whispers break out in different directions.
Even his gang members notice the resemblance between Dead Girl and me. Why won’t he just give up?
The thought saddens me.

“Hey! Hey! This is May,” Sangwoo introduces me to silence the whispers.

“Hi,” I say meekly. I have no heart to end Sangwoo’s youthful excitement. I entertain him with a question. “Why do they all have American names?” I whisper to Sangwoo.

He laughs. “Nicknames make it easier on the international platform.”

“What’s your English name then?” I ask.

“Crist–pronounced as Christ,” Sangwoo replies.

“Of course,” I respond, letting out an awkward laugh.

The Crist members find this humorous as well. Slowly, the tension fades away. For a top gang in South Korea, they are less intimidating. Maybe Mayhem’s gang is the one I should watch out for.
Why are you thinking about him?
My intuition is pouting at me under her big speckled glasses.
Can you imagine having a picnic with Danny? Can you imagine hanging out with Mayhem?

“Let’s get some food.” Sangwoo brings me back to reality. He steers me over to a table. We barely sit down when plates of food are in front of us.

Ren and his girlfriend are sitting across from the table. Instead of his usual reserved personality, Ren smiles when his girlfriend whispers in his ear. The two of them create quite an arresting sight. They remind me of a love story far too uncommon for someone like me to understand. But I barely have time to marvel at them before I am distracted by other events.

“Have some food.” Sangwoo notices my hesitation.

“Thanks.” I pick up my fork.