Arrest-Proof Yourself (25 page)

8

LAW ENFORCEMENT SHOULDN’T GIVE A PASS TO ALL THOSE CROOKS IN THE MIDDLE CLASS

T
he jails are packed with poor people, mostly black and Hispanic. This is no secret. So why aren’t more middle-class people in the pokey? Are all those middle-class types out there solid citizens? Are they all just stoking the machine 40 hours a week, giving the IRS a cut every payday, and raising chubby-cheeked children to become the next generation of Great Americans? Hardly.

Middle-class people are the most exasperating group of crooks because they rarely get caught. There are two reasons.

1. LOWER CLUE-Q (CLUELESSNESS QUOTIENT).
Even when they indulge in petty crimes and run-of-the-mill thuggishness, middle-class types are harder to arrest and convict because they know the system a bit better. When doing petty crimes, they tend to

keep dope at home rather than in their cars and on their persons

grow their own weed and avoid buying it and falling into police traps

call cops “sir” rather than dirty names

beat women in detached houses rather than apartments, so screams don’t get heard and police don’t get called

make restitution and talk their way out of petty-theft raps

carry firearms legally

sell stolen property to fences rather than peddle it door-to-door in view of police

drive street-legal cars, so they are pulled over and searched less often

avoid hanging out and living the arrestable, urban outdoor lifestyle (middle-class punks “hang in” and plan and execute crimes indoors, where difficult-to-obtain search warrants are necessary to root them out and arrest them)

read their mail, mark their calendars, and set the alarm so they can wake up, dress up, and show up, albeit grudgingly, at court hearings, probation meetings, anger-management classes, and drug rehab

Middle-class thugs, in their scumbag fashion, emphasize the major point of this book. The less clueless you are about the system, the less likely you are to be arrested, even if you
are
a lowlife.

2. THEY DO CRIMES THAT POLICE CAN’T SEE OR ARE UNTRAINED TO INVESTIGATE.
Middle-class crooks have long ago discovered the obvious—do crimes where there aren’t any cops. Better yet, do crimes that patrol cops aren’t trained and equipped to
recognize
, much less investigate. Middle-class crooks dominate the following major crime categories:

insurance fraud

mortgage fraud