Artist's Dream (24 page)

“Do I have you?” Cassie whispered.

“If you want me.”

Cassie let her breath out slowly and smiled.

“I think I want you.”

“The casserole is in the oven,” she told Kim.

“How is he?” she whispered.

“I don’t think he can hear you through the phone, Kim.”

“Well, I’m nervous as hell that he’s coming, if that matters,” she said.

“If it’s any consolation, I think he’s nervous, too. He’s either out preparing his sermon or he’s trying to convince himself that he won’t be tarnished by spending time with you people,” she said as lightly as she could.

“Very funny. I’m glad you can find humor in all of this. What does Luke think about it?”

“She doesn’t understand why I allow him to come here and take over, I guess,” Cassie answered honestly. “I saw her yesterday and we talked some. I was nearing a breakdown, I think.”

“Is she still coming?”

“I hope so.” It was Cassie’s turn to whisper. “I’m sure she is.”

Actually, they had not even mentioned Thanksgiving dinner. They talked, and Cassie was content to let Luke hold her while she gathŹered herself enough to return to her father.

“Well, what’s up? Did she freak because your father was there?”

“Actually, I freaked,” Cassie admitted. “I cancelled any plans we had. Yesterday was the first time I’ve really talked to her.” She could picture Kim’s expression, and she closed her eyes to the image and shook her head. “Don’t start with me,” she said quietly.

“I haven’t said a word.”

“No, but you want to,” Cassie accused.

“Well, you could always see what David’s doing today,” she said sarcastically. “I’m sure the Reverend would love his Republican ass.”

“Kim!”

“You simply amaze me. First of all, I don’t even know what’s going on with you and Luke, but I can imagine. It’s not like you’ve filled me in.”

“It’s not like I’ve had a chance.” Cassie rubbed her temple with her free hand, wishing Kim would save the lecture for later, but knowing she wouldn’t.

“Okay. Let me just run it by you. Stop me anytime.”

“Like I could,” Cassie murmured.

“I’m thinking that since you rode with her to Sacramento and spent the weekend at her place … well, you know, you’re no longer a virgin.”

“Kim!” Cassie hissed.

“And you spent the next few days together enjoying each other.”

“Will you stop?”

“And then dear old dad shows up, and you revert back to saintŹhood and blow Luke off for your father.”

“You’re being totally unfair here.”

“Am I wrong?” Kim demanded.

“I didn’t blow her off,” Cassie insisted. “I explained to her that

I couldn’t deal with him and her at the same time. She underŹstood.”

“And have you dealt with him? Or just cowered to him?”

“Kim, please,” Cassie pleaded. “It’ll be over soon. He’s leaving first thing tomorrow.”

“Until the next time. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how you could jeopardize something like this because of him. What are you afraid of?”

“I honestly don’t know,” she said. “I guess a part of me still holds out hope that he will come around, and we can have a normal relationship. And if he finds out about Luke, I know that will be the end. I’ll never see him again.”

“Cassie, you don’t even like the man.”

“I know,” she whispered. “But he’s still my father. And there’s no one else.”

Kim was silent for the longest, then Cassie heard a weary sigh. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m trying to understand. I forget that my parŹents didn’t speak to me for two years.”

“But they came around,” Cassie reminded her.

“Do you honestly think your father could ever accept you as a lesbian?”

“Honestly? No. Never.”

“Well, I guess you have to decide between them, then. Because I don’t think Luke would take a back seat to him for very long.”

No. Cassie didn’t think Luke would. She was much too proud to pretend. But despite her breakdown yesterday, she still wasn’t willing to tell her father everything. He would be gone soon, and she could get back to her life. And hopefully, she would go another two years before she had to face this again.

“Please be nice,” Cassie said for the third time.

“Will you quit worrying? I’ll save my preaching for Sunday morning,” he said. “Where people will listen,” he added.

“Thank you.”

They were a little early, but Cassie found all she was doing at her own house was pacing, and she thought she could do that just as well at Kim’s. When she turned onto their street, her heart sudŹdenly jumped into her throat. Luke’s black Lexus was parked next to Lisa’s car.

It was with shaky legs that she walked to their door. She had an uneasy feeling and knew in her heart that her father would not be able to hold his tongue for long. It would just all be too much for him. She glanced at him, noting the tight set of his jaw, the frown creasing his forehead.

“They’re really nice people. I wish you’d give them a chance.”

“Don’t try to sell them to me, Cassandra. I know sinners when I see them.”

“Stop it right now or I’ll give you the keys, and you can go find a place in town to eat.”

“I’ll never understand you, child. Your choice of friends simply amazes me.”

She stood at the door, about to knock, when she heard the sound of voices and laughter inside. If life were fair, she would already be inside, joining them, standing next to Luke, perhaps holding hands or Luke would have an arm casually draped over her shoulders. It was with a heavy heart that she reached up to knock. It was then she noticed the familiar CD playing. She wondered if Kim had chosen Melissa Etheridge just to piss off her father. Well, it would be a fine start to the day.

It was Lisa who answered her knock, and she stood there awkŹwardly for only a moment before flashing a charming smile.

“Come in, please. You must be Mr. Parker.”

“Reverend” he corrected and Cassie rolled her eyes.

“Of course,” Lisa said, and Cassie didn’t miss the amusement in her eyes. “I’m Lisa Meyers.”

For a moment, Cassie thought her father would refuse Lisa’s offered hand, but he shook it briefly with a curt nod.

Lisa turned to Cassie and winked. “Hey, Cass. Happy Thanksgiving.”

Cassie accepted her hug stiffly, conscious of her father’s eyes on them.

“Happy Thanksgiving. It smells great in here.”

“It does, doesn’t it? Kim has been slaving over the turkey all morning.”

“How much slaving does a tofu turkey take?” Cassie asked lighdy.

“None. That’s my point.”

They both laughed, and again Cassie wished her father had not chosen this particular holiday to come back into her life. Movement in the living room caused her to look up, and she met Luke’s eyes across the room. The familiar sight of her caused Cassie’s heart to race, and she had a difficult time catching her breath. It felt like weeks had passed since she had seen her, since

she had been in her arms and she allowed her eyes to feast, if only for a second. Luke looked very pretty in her burgundy sweater and tan pants. Then Luke gave her that lazy smile she loved and walked over.

“Hello. I’m Luke Winston,” she said without even a hint of nervousness.

“Reverend Parker.”

Their handshake was firm and fast, and it was only then that Cassie realized just how tall Luke really was. And confident. Her father would never be able to tower over Luke. Or intimidate her, Cassie thought.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Cass
ie.
”

Cassie felt her body melting into Luke’s hug, and she realized just how much she had missed her the last few days. Yesterday, she had been too stressed to think about anything but the comfort Luke offered on the sofa. It was a quiet hour she needed, but still, it had been days since she and Luke had been intimate. She nearly laughed out loud. She had gone years before without being intiŹmate with anyone. Now, with Luke, she was insatiable. She pulled away slowly, her eyes meeting Luke’s for the briefest of seconds.

“Well, Mr. Parker, so good to see you again.”

Kim’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and Cassie knew she intenŹtionally tried to provoke him. Mr. ?

But her father didn’t correct her as he had done Lisa.

“Kimberly. We meet again.”

“Yes. Happy Thanksgiving.”

He gave a humorless smile before speaking. “I’m surprised you actually celebrate this holiday.”

“Why does that surprise you? I have a lot to be thankful for. A nice home, someone to share it with, great friends and a career I love. I couldn’t be happier with my life.”

“Well, enjoy this life, at least.”

Kim opened her mouth to counter, but Cassie intervened, like she always had. Even before he found out that Kim was gay, they always found something to spar about.

“I love the flowers, Kim,” Cassie said, linking arms with her and drawing her into the living room. “Everything looks great.”

“I’m going to snap,” Kim whispered.

“No, you’re not,” Cassie whispered back. “Don’t let him get to you.”

“He’s already gotten to me, and he hasn’t been here two minŹutes.”

“Tell me about the turkey,” Cassie said as she glanced over her shoulder at the others.

Kim forgot about her father for a moment and launched into a description of the basting technique.

“Paul gave me a recipe for a garlic and butter sauce that he bastes with. It smells really good, doesn’t it?”

“It smells great.” Then she lowered her voice. “Love your choice of music, by the way.”

Kim grinned. “If I thought he knew who the Indigo Girls were, I’d have them on, too.”

“Must you provoke him?”

“Yes. I must.”

Cassie accepted a glass of wine from Lisa and was surprised when she produced a cider for Luke.

At Cassie’s questioning glance, Luke said, “I brought my own.”

Her father was seated in the living room, searching for a footŹball game on TV, and Cassie relaxed for the first time since they arrived.

“I’ve missed you,” she said quietly. “Yesterday was just so stressŹful, and there’s so much I want to talk to you about. Thank you for being there yesterday.”

Luke’s eyes dropped to Cassie’s lips for a moment, then capŹtured her blue ones. “If I didn’t know how badly you just needed to talk yesterday, I would have hauled you up to my bedroom.” She motioned to her father with a toss of her head. “Don’t think I’m going to let him chase me off.”

Cassie blushed. “Maybe we should have skipped the talk. It seems like it’s been forever since …”

“Yes, I know.”

Their eyes held for a long moment, and the rest of the room faded as if it were only the two of them there. Cassie longed to go into her arms. The stress of the last few days was weighing heavy on her, and she wanted to dump that burden. She knew by the look in Luke’s eyes that she would gladly accept it. And it was at that very moment, as she stared into Luke’s eyes, that she realized how quickly love had come and captured her heart.

Luke finally broke the spell and looked toward her father. “How was it last night?”

“Bearable,” she said. “But probably because we didn’t really talk. Dinner was quiet and quick.”

“That’s good.” Then her voice lowered, her words for Cassie’s ears only. “Can we spend the weekend together?”

“I would really, really love that.”

“I’ll warn you now, I doubt I’ll let you out of the bed.”

Cassie blushed scarlet, but the look in Luke’s eyes was comŹpletely serious. She wondered who would be keeping whom in bed.

“You’re absolutely adorable when you blush.”

Lisa chose that moment to walk up and refill Cassie’s glass, and Cassie only briefly glanced at her, unable to keep her eyes from Luke for long.

Lisa cleared her throat and nudged Cassie with her elbow. “You’re doing a great job of hiding your feelings, kid.”

Cassie turned red from head to toe and realized just how close she and Luke were standing. She took a nervous step backward and rolled her eyes at Lisa. “Thanks a lot,” she murmured.

“I think it’s really cute, but your father may have a stroke,” she said with a chuckle.

“I think I’ll join him for football, anyway,” Luke said. “Let me know if I can help with dinner.”

“Is it that obvious?” Cassie asked Lisa when Luke was out of earshot.

“It’s that obvious, sweet
ie.
Have you told her?”

“Told her what?”

“That you’re in love with her.”

Cassie started to deny her accusation, but didn’t. It was true, after all. She’d known for some time. She just wasn’t sure she wanted to say it out loud. And when she did, she wanted Luke to be the first to hear it. Then she frowned. What if Luke didn’t want to hear it? What if this was moving too fast for Luke? Oh, God, what if Luke only wanted a physical relationship with her?

“What’s wrong?” Lisa asked, obviously seeing the many quesŹtions reflected in Cassie’s eyes.

“I think I’m over my head here,” Cassie admitted. “We haven’t talked about anything. I don’t know what Luke wants, how she feels.”

Lisa squeezed her arm and grinned. “Honey, that woman absolutely adores you. She’s not any better than you at hiding her feelings.” Then she lowered her voice. “The way you two were looking at each other, I was afraid you would make a break for the bedroom. That’s why I thought I should interrupt.” She motioned to Cassie’s father, who was engaged in conversation with Luke, apparently about the game. “He was watching you, too.”

Cassie groaned. Why did it have to be so hard? Why was she still looking for and craving his acceptance? She wished she could be strong like Kim, who had told her parents immediately. They spent two years estranged, but now they accepted Lisa into the family without question. But she knew that her father would never, under any circumstance, accept Luke as Cassie’s partner.

“Don’t worry about it, Cass. Just get through the day and send him back home. Then you can get your life back to normal.”

“I’m just so tired, Lisa. I’m tired of trying to win his acceptance. And what happens the next time I see him? What if Luke and I do make a life together? Do I go on pretending that we’re just friends? Is that fair to her?”