Artist's Dream (7 page)

“I like it,” she said. “It’s …”

“Quaint?” Cassie supplied.

“I was going to say cozy,” Luke said. “I like your bedroom.”

Cassie managed not to blush, but she turned back quickly to her coffee, making a production of pouring two cups.

They sat at her small kitchen table and she watched, horrified, as Luke put an outrageous amount of sugar and milk into her cup. She sipped her own, enjoying the rich flavor but smiled as Luke made a satisfied moan at her own first sip.

“Perfect.”

“Sure you have enough sugar?”

Luke ignored her with a flick of one eyebrow.

“Tell me what you’ve done here. The sliding door to the patio is obviously new. What about in here?”

“The laundry room is through there,” Cassie said, pointing to a door at the opposite end of the kitchen. “When I bought it, that was a large storage room, I guess. The connections were outside so I brought them in and remodeled that room and extended the patio. In here, just new flooring.”

“Was your workshop here?”

“Yes. That’s the main reason I bought this place. The workshop was perfect. And I just remodeled a little at a time. The bedroom wall was the first to go,” she said.

“I guess having one bedroom cuts down on company. Of course, that can be a good thing sometimes.”

Cassie stared into her coffee, wondering why she was even con-

sidering confiding in Luke. Her relationship with her father was something only Kim knew about, and even then, Kim knew only what Cassie wanted her to know.

“I’ve never admitted this to anyone before,” she said quietly. “I think the main reason I knocked out the bedroom wall was so that my father wouldn’t come stay with me.” She looked up and met Luke’s gentle gaze. “Is that terrible?”

“I don’t think that’s terrible. I guess that was easier than just telling him you didn’t want to see him?”

Cassie sighed. “How do you tell your father that you don’t like him and you don’t want to see him? He’s the only family I have,” she said. “And I’m all he has.”

“But?” Luke prompted.

“But it’s very hard for me not to hate him. I don’t have any pleasant memories of my childhood. None. I can’t recall a time of just being a kid and laughing and playing. Everything was always so serious. It was like I was being punished for something I had yet to do.”

“Did you have friends in your neighborhood? At church?”

“Not really. He wouldn’t allow me to play with the neighbors and the few kids at church, well, I think they were too afraid of my father. He sent more than one off crying.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke said quietly.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Cassie’s face, then it was gone just as quickly. Something she had never told Kim now surfaced. Something she thought was better kept buried, but the memory emerged now.

“Every night before dinner, we would read a chapter from the Bible. Sometimes short ones, sometimes not. But I had to memoŹrize it, word for word, before I could eat. Some nights, it would be hours before I could do it. Some nights, I couldn’t do it at all. So instead of dinner, he would lock me in his office and tell me not to ask to come out until I had it memorized.”

“Cassie, I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered.

“I never could do it,” Cassie said. “I would sleep on the floor,

crying for my mother, wondering why she had left me there with him.” Cassie brushed at an errant tear, unable to stop the pain and loneliness that suddenly enveloped her.

Luke reached out and captured her hand, squeezing lightly.

“And you ask me if I think it’s terrible that you don’t want him

to visit?”

“Do you think he even remembers doing that to me?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

Cassie pulled her hand away from Luke’s warm one and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I told you all that. Kinda ruins a good cup of coffee,” she said lightly. “Except yours. It was already ruined.”

Cassie stood, intending to refill their cups, but Luke stopped her with a firm grip on her arm.

“If you need to talk, I’m a good listener,” she offered.

Cassie met her eyes and attempted to smile. “Why on earth would you volunteer for that?”

“Because talking about past pains is the only way to heal,” Luke said gently. “And I’m guessing you’ve not talked with anyone. Maybe your friend Kim?”

“Kim knows a lot but she doesn’t know about that. I’ve never told anyone about that. I was too ashamed. I don’t know why I told you now,” she said.

“You can talk to me anytime, Cass
ie.
”

Their eyes held, and Cassie knew that Luke was being comŹpletely sincere. And it would be so easy to unburden herself, to dump it all on Luke and have her sort through it. But right now, she didn’t want to think about it anymore, much less talk about it.

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Okay. Well, thanks for the coffee, but I need to get going. I’m meeting a new client this afternoon in Sacramento.”

They both looked up at the same time as thunder rolled outŹside.

“Thanks again for your help,” Cassie said. “For rescuing me and all.”

“No problem.” Then Luke grinned. “It was my pleasure.” Cassie watched her drive away, arms wrapped securely around herself as the rain fell softly. Luke was so very different from any woman Cassie had ever met. Perhaps that was why she found herŹself attracted to her. And yes, she could admit that now that Luke was safely out of sight.

After unpacking the groceries from her van and the ones she had brought from Luke’s, she put on a pot of lentils to simmer, then spent the afternoon in her shop, finishing up on the beaver and another much smaller eagle. She would put off calling Kim until after dinner. There had been two voice mails from her. One from last night and one this morning. Knowing Kim, if she had even the slightest clue that Cassie had spent the night at Luke Winston’s house, she would not let it rest until Cassie relayed every detail of the evening and every word spoken between them. But Cassie wasn’t ready to share her new friendship with Kim. Kim would turn it into something it wasn’t. So Cassie swore Kim would never know that she had not spent last night in her own bed. It was just easier that way.

And she tried to push Luke from her mind, but still, she stayed. It was her hands, Cassie thought, that drew her. She had lovely hands. Long, strong fingers. Neatly trimmed nails. Soft hands,

although she had not actually felt them. Cassie dipped her own into the soapy water at the sink to avoid thinking of Luke Winston’s hands. Her own were nicked and callused from working with wood all day long. She applied lotion constantly, but to no avail.

After three days of working nonstop, Cassie was finally able to get through the hours without constantly thinking of Luke Winston. It was progress. She told herself that eventually, if she were to be around her more, she would lose this infatuation she seemed to have for her, and she could concentrate on the friendŹship they had started. And that was really all she wanted.

After five days of neatly avoiding thinking about Luke and avoiding talking to Kim for more than a few minutes at a time, she felt that she was back to normal. Her days became routine again, and she was certain that she would finish all of the pieces before the fair. She was just sanding down the beaver’s tail for the last time when she heard a noisy truck approach. She frowned. She was not expecting company. She stood and brushed the wood chips from her bare legs and went out into the sunshine.

It was a truck she did not recognize, pulling a flat bed trailer. She did, however, recognize one of the passengers. Her breath caught instantly at the smile Luke flashed her, and she smiled in return, cursing her traitorous body as it melted under Luke’s stare.

“I would have called but I couldn’t find your card and I was too lazy to call information,” she explained. “These are friends of mine. Jack and Craig. They live over in Guemeville.” She pointed to first one, then the other.

“Hi.” She shook their offered hands and said to Jack, “I think we’ve met. You look familiar.”

“Yes. I told Luke we had one of your carvings. Nothing like the eagle she’s described, though. Just a small one. A Steller’s jay,” he said.

Cassie’s eyes widened, and she turned to Luke. “You’ve come for him?”

“Yes. I’ve got a cashier’s check for twelve thousand. How does that sound?”

“Twelve? Are you kidding?”

Luke shook her head. “I told you I had a buyer.”

They stood facing each other, and Cassie forgot about Jack and Craig. “I don’t know that I’m ready,” she said. “I mean …”

“The longer you hold onto him, the harder it will be,” Luke said quietly.

“You’re right, I know,” Cassie said, unable to pull her eyes from Luke. “It’s just that … this one has become kinda special, you know? He’s got his own personality.”

Luke smiled gently and nodded. “He’ll be well taken care of, I

promise. No strangers touching him or clirnbing on him.

Promise.”

Cassie looked at Jack and Craig, feeling embarrassed. “Okay then,” she said. “I guess I can’t turn down twelve thousand dolŹlars.” At least she wouldn’t have to worry about paying her bank note for awhile. Then she smiled. “I can’t believe they paid that much.”

“It’s well worth it,” Luke assured her.

Cassie stood by while they loaded her eagle onto the trailer. Again, she felt very much the helpless female as she watched Luke lift her end. Her eyes lighted everywhere, finally landing on the biceps of Luke’s arms as she strained to carry him. The gently ripŹpling muscles on Luke’s shoulders did nothing for her, she told herself, but still she stared. Then her eyes landed on Luke’s thighs as she stood, every indentation of muscle outlined as they walked cautiously with her eagle. She mentally shook herself, dragging her eyes away and focusing instead on Jack as he walked backward toward the trailer. But she felt nothing. She let out a heavy sigh and allowed her eyes to again settle on Luke’s lean form, watching widi envy, she told herself… not… well, certainly not with desire. Admiration. Much better. They wrapped her eagle with blankets before securing him with ropes, and she was finally able to move, offering suggestions as to where to tie the ropes.

“You’ll need to let me know where he’ll be,” Cassie told Luke. “In case I want to drive by and look at him.”

“Well, perhaps I’ll take you there myself,” she said. “I’m sure you can have visiting rights.”

Cassie smiled. “You think I’m being silly.”

“Not at all. You created him. You love him.”

Jack and Craig were already in the truck, ready to go as they stood there facing each other. Cassie folded her arms across her chest as Luke shoved hers into her shorts.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“Okay. Working.”

“I wanted to call, but … well, I didn’t want to impose. I thought…”

“You probably didn’t want to call because you were afraid I’d take you up on your offer,” Cassie teased.

“Not at all. But I haven’t been around that much. I’ve been in the city.”

“That’s okay. Maybe we can get together for lunch or dinner or something,” Cassie heard herself say.

“I’d like that.”

Cassie nodded, not knowing what else to say. As she looked into Luke’s eyes, she thought she had been mistaken by their color. With the sun shinning on her face, her eyes weren’t dark at all. They were nearly golden and Cassie found herself again being pulled to this woman. She nearly shivered from the heat that passed through her.

“What?” Luke asked as Cassie stared.

“Hmm?” Cassie blinked, trying to focus, trying to clear her head.

Luke took a step toward her and stopped, just long enough for Cassie to take a nervous step backward. She clasped her hands together and turned to the truck, making a show of telling the guys good-bye. Luke watched her for a moment, then walked around the truck and opened the door. Before getting in, she looked back at Cass
ie.

“You’re okay, right?”

“Yes, of course. I’m fine,” Cassie said. “Drive carefully with him.”

“We will. Later,” Luke called, and Cassie watched them drive away with her eagle.

Well, so much for putting Luke Winston from her mind for the

past week. Just one look had brought back all of the feelings she

had been trying to suppress. Heat … desire. She groaned and

turned away. Not desire, she told herself. She wouldn’t allow those

feelings to surface.

“Just friends,” she murmured. “Just going to be friends.”

“What do you see?” Kim asked anxiously.

Cassie stared at her painting, so different from the natural seascapes that Kim normally created. She unconsciously rubbed her chin and turned her head to one side, studying it.

“I see the ocean. And cliffs.” She turned to Kim with a smile. “It’s like an abstract seascape,” she said.

Kim smiled broadly. “You’re good.”

Cassie laughed. “We took the same art classes.” She turned back to the painting. “I like it. Something new for you.”

Kim crossed her arms and studied the painting, too. “Yes. Different. But still a seascape.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. You love the ocean. It would be like me not carving eagles anymore. They’re my favorite.” Then she turned back to Kim. “Think of Cezanne. He must have painted the same mountain a hundred times. It was what he saw every day from his home.”

Kim nodded. “Mont Sainte-Victoire,” she said quietly. “You’re right, of course.”

“But Kim, it’s good. Don’t be afraid to try different styles. When our art stops being an expression of ourselves and is done solely for commercialism—”

“It’s a sad day for us all,” Kim finished with a smile. It was a quote they had heard many times from art professors.

“And it keeps us fresh,” Cassie added. “If I did nothing but eagles, they would all begin to look alike. There has to be some variety.”

“Yeah. That’s really why I did it. I couldn’t muster up my usual inspiration anymore, and I’ve wanted to try an abstract for awhile, I’ve just been afraid. I mean, what if it sucked?”