As I Breathe (One Breath at a Time: Book 2) (21 page)

“Brielle, we don’t know if this boy is Jordan, but, if it is then thank God, these poor girls were brave enough to come forward. And, thank God, you—” When my father glared at my mother, she swallowed her words. Her eyes drew in deeply. She seemed to age decades within those moments. Her sorrow for my pain absorbed into her face like a sponge. It was as if she had taken a bullet for me.

“
Not now, Brandy!” Dad interjected loudly. “You are both acting like it’s the end of the world. We need to get more details tomorrow. Brielle, I don’t want this kid near you until we figure this out.”

A feeling of betrayal swooped over me...my own father didn’t show much concern as to how I might be feeling. Why did he jump to conclusions and ban me from Jordan?

Don’t my feelings rate? I thought. If Jordan is guilty of these crimes my life is over...my prom is ruined.

I’d had my eye on Jordan for over a year. It was all planned out. Well, at least, what I had hoped for the future was planned out in my mind. Jordan and I would go to prom, and then college, and maybe, we would live together for a few years before getting married. He would play for the Giants, and I would write mystery novels. Instantly, my life had fallen into the crapper!

“No, Mom, this can’t be true,” I cried, hysterically. God, I was such a drama queen at seventeen—wait, almost eighteen
.

My womanly intuition knew the truth about Jordan. I could see this in his eyes, something dark. Storm had tried to warn me as he had done so many times before. He was always looking out for me; I just would not listen.

How could I have misjudged Jordan? I vowed that a man would never dupe me again if things turned out badly this time. A painstaking chill crawled over my entire body. Yet, I wasn’t ready to come to terms with the inevitable truth. He’s innocent until proven guilty. Isn’t that justice? I would stand by my man, until I couldn’t.

I needed to be alone, and my parents both seemed to respect that decision. What could they say? I was sure they were as shocked as I was; this news left us all speechless, even Storm.

A shockwave bubbled over in the pit of my stomach as I raced up the stairs and to the bathroom. Before I could make it to the toilet, I doubled over. My knees hit hard against the tile as I hurled my dinner across the floor.

Why was my life so complicated? What an effing mess—two fold. I fisted my hands through my long blond hair, pulling it by the roots, hitting my head against the back of the door. This only made matters worse. The repulsive news, coupled with the hammering of my head, penetrated through our entire house.

My mother soon came to my rescue. Despite my vomit-infested garments, she knelt down and lulled me closely. She held me tight as I cried in her arms. I never loved her as much as I did in that moment. She was my real angel. That night she bathed me, tucked me in and prayed over my listless body. My heart was broken. I cried myself to sleep.

-17-

Standing by!

The next morning my cell phone was inundated with voice messages, one after the other, from Nuilley. Her calls confirmed that Jordan had been arrested. Nuilley’s stepfather was a city police officer, so I knew her source of information was not just gossip but more like gospel.

The wide-spreading news about Jordan caused a major uproar in our community. All the details of his alleged crimes were overly publicized. It hardly seemed fair to the plaintiffs or the defendant.

Weeks dragged on, and the accusations about Jordan grew to horrible lies. Tracy and a handful of other girls were claiming that he attacked them and forced them to have sex. It was hard to comprehend all the facts that were being thrown around, so I chose to ignore them until all the facts were in. I argued his side on a few occasions, to the point of almost losing my best friend.

“
I don’t believe it, Nuilley. These girls are lying.”

“
There’s too many of them to be making this up. All their stories match,” she bitterly bit out.

I shrugged and stared at her, my face crumpled in on itself. “He’s your friend. How can you turn on him? Is this how you would treat me if I were in his shoes?” I stammered, feeling my face reddening.

“He hurts people. I can’t be a friend to someone like him. I hope he gets life.” Nuilley never minced words.

“
That’s an awful thing to say.” I blanched, throwing darts at her with my eyes.

Nuilley flicked one shoulder forward. “So? That’s how I feel.” Unpredictable and outspoken as she happened to be, people were drawn to her. From the first time I’d met Nuilley in the girl’s bathroom at school, and she’d told me she’d just started her period for the first time, I knew we’d be friends forever.

“Great, now I see that you wouldn’t stick by me either.”

“
Not if you were flat out wrong. Honestly Brie, we’re talking about a crime here, and if you had this many people saying you were guilty, I’d have no choice in the outcome. Of course, I’d still love you, though. Besides, this would never happen to you. For one, you’d never commit a crime, and two, we share all of our secrets so I would stop or help you before you ever found yourself in jail, in the first place.”

Guilt washed over me, in a long hot wave because I hadn’t ever told Nuilley about Storm. If she found out that I’d kept a secret so profound from her, I would’ve lost her trust forever. This conversation validated that for me. Nuilley might have done some pretty precarious things in her life, but the one thing she did was tell me everything, despite how dirty and dark, I knew all her secrets. Sometimes too much, and too many details.

“I know, but we can’t abandon him. We should at least stand by him until they say he’s guilty.”

“
Brie, wake up. He is guilty. Do I need to slap you into reality? Give it up, Princess. You’re not that naïve.”

I started to cry. Her words were harsh and pointed. I didn’t want her to see me as weak, but I liked Jordan so much that I couldn’t help but sob.

“I know you’re probably right Nui, but it hurts. I have liked him for the longest time. This sucks, just when he and I were getting to know each other, now he’s in jail. Jail! It seems so surreal. And the hardest pill to swallow is that, well...how could I have been so blind if he ends up being guilty?”

Nuilley pulled her lips together, her eyes filled with sympathy. “I know you liked him.” She leaned in and hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe. I sobbed as she whispered in my ear, “Shhh, Brielle, he didn’t sweep you off your feet. Remember, that’s what you’ve always wanted...wait until you meet the one that causes lightening to strike.” I pulled back, a bit shocked by Nuilley’s insight and looked at her suspiciously.

“Who are you?” She sounded like an old soul, and corny in some way too. “Did someone steal my friend?”

“
No.” She smiled softly. “I don’t want all that romantic bullshit in my life, but I know you do. I was trying to make you see that this Jordan guy isn’t the one for you. And you’re not blind,
Bébé
.” I loved it when she called me
Bébé
with her perfect French accent. Nuilley continued, “He fooled us all. No one saw this coming. Not even me,” she added confidently, which made me half-laugh. She never failed to entertain me with her unbridled bluntness and lack of mind-to-mouth filter. Her tenacity exceeded my candor on any day.

Still, I hoped for a verdict of “not guilty” for Jordan’s sake. He was definitely not the type of guy that had to go to extremes to get sex. I knew for a fact that most girls gave him exactly what he wanted. With that being the case, why would he need to rape the willing? Rumors had it that he liked the thrill, the perverse act of inflicting pain onto women, to berate them into submission, and if they didn’t surrender to his abuse, he raped them. At the time, I couldn’t imagine such lies.

Undecided still, I chose to blame Storm for ruining my prom—my life. After all, we always hurt the ones that are closest to us. I believed that Storm had certainly lent a hand to the police. He’d showed his colors, and what he thought of Jordan one too many times.

I had no doubt that on some metaphysical level he’d persuaded the girls to come forward. I went as far as accusing him of framing Jordan. God, I was such an asshole at times!

I needed to talk to someone. The first person that flashed into my mind was Amanda. Although I hadn’t talked to her in years, I needed to talk to someone that would give me unbiased advice; she would understand.

I found her at the modeling agency that represented her and left a message for her to call me. Immediately, an unknown number flashed on the screen of my cell. I hit the answer button.

“Hello?” I asked, dreary notes passed through the line.

“
Hi Brielle, it’s me, Amanda.”

“
Oh my God! I’m so glad that you called me back. I didn’t think you would remember me. It’s been, gosh, almost four years. I lost your number so I couldn’t call you. Sorry. Now, that I’m older, well, you know, I figured out how to reach you,” I rambled on without taking a breath. “I really need to see you...to talk to you. I don’t have anyone else to talk to.”

“
You sound upset...slow down, Sweetie. I’m trying to comprehend all this at once.” I could hear her smiling through the phone. “First, how have you been?”

“
Fine. No, not fine. I have to see you. This guy, I’ve been kind of dating—he asked me to prom and since we’ve been hanging out. He’s been arrested.”

“
Oh dear...this is terrible news,” she said, exhaling. “Brielle, I can’t believe you are old enough to go to prom. Wow, time sure has flown by.”

“
Yeah, I’m turning eighteen in a few days.”

“
Eighteen! Has it been that long? I’m feeling old now.”

“
Me too...considering. Anyway, Jordan, that’s his name, he’s the one I love now, and he was arrested on three accounts of rape—date rape—technically, he’s allegedly been accused, or whatever it’s called because he’s not guilty,” I said with strong conviction. “It’s all so crazy. Can you talk? I really need some advice...please,” I begged, “now?”

“
Yes, of course. This must be awful for you. How long have you been dating him?”

“
Not too long—we just started hanging out. I guess it’s been a month or so, but he really likes me, you know, and I like him too—a lot. Gosh, actually—I’ve been in love with him forever. Do you know what I am saying?” My words waffled.

“
Yes...I think so.” I sensed a hint of confusion in her voice.

“
Amanda, he’s not a rapist. He’s innocent, and I’m a mess...I really need to talk to you in person. My parents, they don’t understand, and my friends are just opinionated, and they don’t understand how this has impacted my life. I need you...” I whined.

“
Okay, okay calm down, I’ll meet you today. Can you get to Central Park and 5
th
Avenue?”

“
Yes...where?”

“
There’s a cute diner a few doors down from the Ritz,
called Sara Beth’s.”

“
Yes, I know the place. I can take the subway to get there.”

“
Oh gosh, really?” she questioned, a note of concern laced in the sound of her voice.

“
Yes, of course,” I stated confidently.

“
Okay, good. The easiest way is to get off at 5
th
avenue and 59
th
okay?”

“
Yes okay, can you come now?” I selfishly pressed her. Come to think of it, I never asked her how she had been doing. “Please this is really important me.”

“
Sure. Give me at least forty-five minutes. I’m driving back to the city. I have to make a quick stop at home, and then I will be straight over. Jot down my number, and call me if you are running late.”

“
Good thinking. It came up unknown on my phone,” I huffed.

“
Are you ready?”

“
Yes.”

“
It’s 212-560-2105. Got it?”

“
Yes, I got it. Thanks so much, Amanda. I can’t wait to see you. I knew you would understand. No one else seems to right now,” I bitched on about my other friends and then quickly sniffled to add a bit of drama, so she wouldn’t lose sight of how important this was to me.

“
I’m excited to see you, too...whoa...the traffic is thick on the bridge getting into the city, so wait there for me...and don’t talk to strangers...be safe.”

“
I will, you too. See you soon.” I hung up and exhaled. Why is everyone warning me about talking to strangers? Do I come across as an idiot?

I waited for over three hours for Amanda to show up, and during that time, I called her over ten times. My calls went straight to her voice mail.
Maybe I wrote the wrong number down.
I couldn’t believe she’d stood me up. No one ever does as they say. I never tried to reach her at a later date. I figured she had blown me off so it was too embarrassing to bother calling again. She never called me back either. I supposed my drama was too much to handle, so I couldn’t blame her. I guessed that bond we tied years before had been broken. Looking back, I couldn’t understand why I had expected her to drop everything for me; after all we hardly knew each other. She didn’t owe me anything.