Assumed Engagement (2 page)

Behind his closed eyes was suddenly a pair of the finest eyes of a beautiful young lady, beholding him and smiling. Suddenly they became dark and angry and she turned from him. Gradually she began to fade away. Could he really let her fade from his thoughts like this? Would he be able to do it? Would he be able to find some other, more suitable woman to be his wife? Certainly there was no other woman in his acquaintance now; he must set out to meet others. But he knew that he would always hold out the comparison to
Elizabeth
. Any other woman would most certainly fall short; would always be second best.

Darcy let out a deep sigh, his elbow resting on the window and his fist coming up to make a rest for his jaw. Both his jaw and fist tightened as he contemplated getting on with his life without
Elizabeth
. If only he had listened to his own advice to Bingley in discouraging him from pursuing a relationship with
Elizabeth
's sister, Jane, and heeded it himself! Why could he not have done that! If he had, he would never have proposed and he would only have had to deal with some momentary disappointment in letting go of his feelings for
Elizabeth
instead of the horrendous humiliation at being rejected by her.

He had been presumptuous in his thinking that
Elizabeth
would agree to marry him. He had not courted her in a manner that was proper; at least in any way that was apparent to her. He had so relished their sharp, witty conversations together and had on many occasions simply enjoyed being in her presence. But these feelings of delight had not been reciprocated on her part. He had been a fool! And he had no one to blame but himself.

When the carriage stopped at midday, Darcy was amazed at how quickly the time had passed and realized they were but a few hours from
Pemberley
. Again, he gratefully stepped out and let his long legs extend to their fullest; then went to an inn to refresh and obtain something to eat.

When he returned, he saw that the sky ahead was getting dark.

Winston, who was a very capable and conscientious driver, looked to his master. "Sir, it looks like a storm up ahead. Do you think we ought to remain here for the night and wait out the bad weather? They can put us up for the night at the inn."

Darcy considered this, but knowing how close they were to
Pemberley
, advised his driver and valet that he wanted to continue on.

"Right, Sir."

Seated once again in the carriage, Darcy determined that for the remainder of the journey he would have to regulate his thoughts. He had to begin now! He thought of his father and how he often would go to him for advice; how he wished he were still here now to advise him. Would he have been able to confide in him the particulars of this situation? He knew not, but at the moment he wished to hear his words of compassion and wisdom.

Within an hour of their setting out again, raindrops began to splatter around them. Darcy hoped it would only be an insignificant storm, although as he looked out through the window, he saw the dark clouds looming ahead. Soon, flashes of lightning and claps of thunder exploded around them. Darcy knew that the roads would soon be muddy and was grateful for the excellent repair his carriage was in. He regretted, though, his decision to go on ahead, as it was going to be a difficult journey. They were now fairly far into the countryside and there would be no place to stop until they reached Lambton.

He could feel the difference in the ride of the carriage as the roads became more and more difficult to manoeuvre. He lifted up a silent prayer that they would make it through safely. Suddenly there was a tremendous bump and Darcy felt the carriage rock. It went from one side to the other and he let out a shout as his arms reached out to try to balance himself.

A loud cracking sound was heard as the carriage suddenly turned on its side. Darcy felt a stabbing pain in his back and then, as the carriage went off the side of the road and landed on its top, Darcy hit his head and found himself in darkness, quiet, and then… nothing.

Chapter 2

Longbourn

"
H
e proposed?" Jane looked at
Elizabeth
, her eyes wide with overwhelming astonishment. "Mr. Darcy proposed! I can scarce believe it!" Jane shook her head in disbelief.

Elizabeth
was grateful to finally be home from
Kent
and reunited with her beloved elder sister, Jane, who had just returned from
London
herself. The first moment they had to themselves that evening in her bedroom,
Elizabeth
confidentially told her of Mr. Darcy's proposal and her subsequent refusal of it.

"Yes, but remember I did refuse him. I
had
to refuse him,"
Elizabeth
solemnly assured her sister. "He never showed any regard for me. His proposal was hardly a declaration of love. He made it quite clear that he had struggled in vain from the very beginning regarding our family's relative situation and poor connections and that his own better judgment advised him against this alliance. How could I be anything but offended?"

"I cannot believe any man would say such things in a proposal of marriage!" Jane stated bewildered. "What kind of man would do this?"

Elizabeth
’s large brown eyes looked away as if in deep thought. She arched one eyebrow and she replied slowly, "I believe it would have to be a man who was very sure of being accepted."

"Mr. Darcy
had
to believe you
would accept him. He had to have been so sure of himself, that he gave no thought to his words or how he spoke them! Think of it,
Lizzy
, any woman would not have had the slightest hesitation in accepting him, if but simply for his fortune."

Upon hearing these words
Elizabeth
suddenly looked down, wringing her hands. Jane quickly added, "Not that I am saying you should have accepted him. But imagine how he must feel! He must be so hurt and humiliated!"

"I would not concern yourself with Mr. Darcy," 
Elizabeth
sighed. "I do not believe he will suffer much by my refusal." She chuckled apprehensively. "It has been over a week. I am sure his regard for me is all but forgotten."

"I simply do not understand. Were you ever persuaded of what his feelings were for you?" Jane asked, shaking her head the whole time, trying to comprehend what her sister had just told her.

"I had not an idea of it. Every conversation we shared frequently resulted in sharp words. We could barely carry on a civil exchange for more than a few sentences. You are as surprised as I am, Jane."
Elizabeth
smiled at her sister.

Jane then gently took her hand. "It is not that I am surprised he asked you,
Lizzy
. I am surprised because he seemed to think us all so decidedly beneath him. He always appeared to me to be wishing he were anywhere else but here in Hertfordshire."

"That he did."

"What was he like at
Rosings
? Did you notice any peculiar regard there?"

"We had our share of strained conversation there, as well. At times he appeared very uncomfortable. When I first saw him, I was of the opinion he was definitely
not
happy to see me. His cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, was very open and friendly, but Mr. Darcy seemed very withdrawn and uncomfortable. His coming to me with an offer of marriage was the last thing I would have ever expected from him. But Jane, you must promise not tell a soul of this. You are the only one who knows!"

"Oh 
Lizzy
, you know I would not!"

Elizabeth
sighed and looked down at her hands that now gripped Jane's tightly. "Jane, there is one more thing that came out from all of this."

"What would
that
be?" asked Jane anxiously.

"He wrote a letter to me after I had refused him. He presented it to me the next morning."
Elizabeth
looked up. Jane was staring intently, hanging on each word.

"In it, he told me what really happened in his dealings with Mr. Wickham; how Mr. Wickham had deceived us with his story about him. Jane, it was actually Mr. Wickham who betrayed Mr. Darcy and his family."

"No!" whispered Jane. "You mean Mr. Wickham fabricated his story?"

"Yes, I imagine he did it to suit his own needs; to make us look favourably on him and unfavourably toward Mr. Darcy."

Elizabeth
went on to share with her sister the unfortunate circumstances regarding Wickham; in particular, his brazen actions toward Miss Darcy. As she shared this with Jane, she became more and more appalled that her attitude toward Mr. Darcy had been based mainly on the deception of one who had been determined to ruin him. She felt more and more remorseful of her attitude toward him in this area. How could she not have discerned the truth earlier?

Jane's face showed her distress over this news. "I cannot believe that he had fooled us all! Are you quite certain that Mr. Darcy did not misconstrue the events? Perhaps both of them simply have a mutual misunderstanding."

Elizabeth
looked at Jane and with a reflective air stated, "There is but such a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man."
Elizabeth
let out a deep sigh. "I am afraid one has got all the goodness, and the other all the
appearance
of it."

The realization of her words penetrated Jane, but her thoughts took her to Charles. Her expression of astonishment at once turned to heartache. Tears filled her eyes and she looked down quickly.
Elizabeth
reached out and touched her arm, "What is it?"

"On proper reflection, I must conclude that Mr. Darcy had all the
admiration
and Mr. Bingley had only the
appearance
of it." With that, her breathing became soft sobs.

"Jane, I
know
that is not true! I am convinced that Mr. Bingley has all the regard for you that one can possibly possess."
Elizabeth
tried in vain to reassure her sister of Charles' true affections.

"Forgive me,
Lizzy
. I did not mean to…" She could not finish her sentence as she struggled to regulate her tears.

Elizabeth
drew her sister into her arms and hugged her tightly. "There is no need to ask forgiveness, dearest Jane. I do not claim to understand any of the events that transpired over these past few months." She was distressed to see the prolonged hurt in her sister and know that it was caused in part by Mr. Darcy's own doing. She felt her stomach knot, as she felt the anger that she had toward him again flare.

Since she had been apprised of the truth in his letter regarding his dealings with Wickham, she struggled with consistency in her feelings toward Mr. Darcy. In
that
area her anger had diminished towards him. But she could not let herself forget the
other
provocation. There was still the issue of his inexcusable interference in Jane's and Bingley's relationship. This distressed her gravely.

Jane leaned over and kissed her sister. "
Lizzy
, I want you to know that I do respect you for your decision to refuse Mr. Darcy. You did what you felt you must; what you knew you had to do! As much as Mama would have expected you to be grateful and accept such a proposal, I know too well that you could not be persuaded into marriage with such a man!"

"Thank you, Jane. It does make things easier knowing you understand. Please, whatever you do, do not let Mama find out about this. I would never be able to live in the same house with her again if she knew I refused yet
another
proposal; and from a man worth ten thousand a year!"

Jane laughed in the midst of her tears. "That is so true! Would she not be completely undone! Well, it is getting late. Good night, dear sister. I am so glad we are both home again."

"Good night, Jane. I am so glad to be back and have you to share things with again!"

As
Elizabeth
slipped into bed, she was welcomed by her own sheets, her own pillow. As she laid her head on her pillow and reached back to plump it, she made a determined resolution. She would do whatever she could; do everything in her power, to get Jane back together with Mr. Bingley. Feeling somewhat satisfied by this decision, she drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

*~*~*

The next day arrived too soon for
Elizabeth
. She had slept fitfully through the night and now all she wanted was to remain in her cosy bed and sleep the whole day through. The sun crept in through the window, beckoning her with the notion that since it had arisen, so should she. She lay in bed a few minutes longer, looking around her room, savouring the feeling of being home again. Her eyes went to the window and out to the grounds that lay beyond.

She suddenly thought of her walks in the beautiful grounds at
Rosings
, and how, on more than one occasion, she unexpectedly encountered Mr. Darcy. She had assumed they met by accident, but now she wondered, could he have purposely sought her out? He never truly made any effort at conversation as they continued to walk together, and she often felt his accompanying her had been out of politeness. Now, she could not be certain.

She thought back to how different he was at
Rosings
than in Hertfordshire. At the latter he had been stiff and formal, arrogant in his countenance, abrupt, and distant. Yet at
Rosings
he appeared unsettled, disquieted, and uneasy. He did not have the arrogant air about him that he had earlier. When he walked with her out in the grounds, she recalled how he often looked at her with a manner of kindness. But that he was often so quiet, she took his behaviour to be strictly out of forced civility. He
had
been different there, but not enough to give her any reason to believe him enamoured with her.

The beckoning sun finally had its way and she arose. She dressed quickly and joined her family downstairs for breakfast. Not being terribly hungry, she ate only a biscuit and a little fruit. Mrs.
Bennet
was discussing the need for some items from the milliner's shop in town and
Elizabeth
, anxious for a diversion, offered to walk into
Meryton
to pick them up. Jane enthusiastically offered to join her. Fortunately for them, their three younger sisters were
otherwise engaged for the morning, so the two would have the sole pleasure of each other's company as they walked into town.

As they set out for
Meryton
,
Elizabeth
was again glad for Jane's company. How she had missed her these past weeks! Their conversation echoed much from the night before.
Lizzy
had to be careful what she said to Jane. She would not tell her of Mr. Darcy's interference in swaying his friend's regard for her. There would be no reason to tell her. So she guarded her words very carefully.

As they walked, Jane turned to her sister with a resigned look on her face.

Elizabeth
returned her look with a sigh. "You are not happy, Jane. It pains me to see it."

Jane tilted her head to one side, as if to dismiss as irrational what she was about to say. "It is just that I am afraid I still prefer Mr. Bingley to any other man I have ever met. I do believe that he…" She stopped herself from continuing that thought. "Yet I am resolved to think of him no more. There! I shall be myself again, as if I had never set eyes on him." She looked at
Elizabeth
and steeled herself for her next words. "I will be perfectly content. Do not concern yourself with me."

Elizabeth
heard her sister's words, but knew that within her heart it was a completely different matter. How she ached to make things right by her. Just how she would do it was yet unknown to her. She took her sister by the arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. They walked the remainder of the way to town in silence.