Atonement (The Atonement Series) (31 page)

“If I treat you like less than adult sometimes, perhaps it’s because you seem to act like one and have lived your life as something other than what you are for the past five years? You should have been starting this job at uConnect at twenty-four after you got your Masters, not at almost twenty-nine. You have wasted so much time yet now you want me to treat you with respect you sure as shit don’t deserve!” she exclaimed with cool steel blue eyes.

“That’s not fair. I may not have lived my life the way you envisioned me to live it but it is still my life to live. How dare you think just because I didn’t take the same path as you somehow my life is not to be respected? You should treat me the same way I have treated you and supported every decision you have made in your life whether they were right or wrong.”

“Calm down, Deirdre.” Caitlyn swept a lock of blonde hair from her face. “I don’t know why we are talking about this in the first place. You should take it easy with your condition and we certainly shouldn’t be having knock down, drag out fights. What ever Liam and Colin are talking about is between them. We have
nothing
to do with it.”

“You’re positive about that? You understand everything that is going on because several times, Colin tried to come clean with me in Europe and I wouldn’t let him. To be honest, I didn’t
want
to know. He started to tell me about this night he and Liam indulged in Bath Salts. Know anything about that?”

Caitlyn looked away as she refilled her wine glass with one of several bottles of Pinot Grigio set out on the dinner table. “Yes, he told me. According to him, they were experimenting. He was man enough to admit he was the curious one about the drug after they heard about the incidents on television and what happened to that young woman, Ms. McLaughlin, who worked at uConnect. He was open and honest about the experience and told me in truth most of the night was a blur.

“He just knows the next day, he awoke to find his car totaled. It was a BMW and an absolute write-off. They left it in a dicey part of town so anything could have happened. He called a tow-truck and it was taken to some scrap yard where it was stripped and basically his insurance went through the roof due to the incident.”

“Is that all he told you because Colin said to me the night came back to him slowly in bits and pieces. All he realized was he shouldn’t have allowed Liam to drive. He said he acted foolishly that night because his brother was in no shape or form to make that trip home behind the wheel of a car.”

Caitlyn sipped on her wine in a contemplative manner before her pale eyebrows shot up. “That’s funny because Liam told me Colin
was
driving. He became so erratic on the road, he forced them to pull over and from there they called a taxi that delivered them home. He said Colin was worried about the car but he was much more concerned about their lives.”

I smiled wryly though my look of exasperation and irony was completely lost on my little sister. “How convenient for Liam…seems like he is quite the revisionist when it comes to past events. I am just wondering if he fed you that same cock and bull story when it came to our one night stand? Did he say it was all my idea and I found him so incredibly attractive I just had to have him or I would die?”

My sister stood from the table but she kept her slender, graceful and pale fingers wrapped around the wine stem. “He didn’t tell me much about what happened between the two of you. To be honest, I always got the feeling he was trying to protect your reputation and if I viewed you in a certain light, that wouldn’t be good for anyone so I dropped it and let it go.”

Caitlyn turned around to face me. “It was the reason why I called you in the first place. I was hoping you would shed some light on what happened that night because he was so fucking vague and you know how I am. I need to know all the facts or I feel like I don’t have the whole story. It wasn’t about you—not really—it was about what he did to you and how he made you feel. I just wanted to believe he treated you like a whore because I couldn’t stand the thought he made you feel special like he makes me feel when we make love.”

She walked closer until she stood over me and I had to look up to her to maintain eye contact. “That would break me, Deirdre. Then I would think it’s all just some act and all he ever cared about was getting into my pants and he didn’t give a shit about my heart or my mind. I was just this pretty, drop-dead gorgeous blonde he could fuck over and that would be the end of it. The problem is I don’t want that to be our story. I can see myself building a life with this guy and I can’t just be some piece of ass he used, you know?”

I stood up and faced my sister with a weary look. “Even if he made me feel like I was the only woman in the world that night, it was only
that
one night. I don’t know what went down between us because it was completely unexpected though I won’t lie and say I wasn’t attracted to him because I was but it was an animal attraction and one that wouldn’t last.

“It was the feeling you get when you see a hot guy in Starbucks or O’Shaughnessy’s and you say to yourself, ‘God, what I wouldn’t give to have just one night with
him’
. It wasn’t real and more than that, it wasn’t meant to last. It’s a fleeting attraction. Unlike most people who let it go and move on with their lives, we took advantage so don’t feel like what you have with Liam is a fraud because it isn’t. I love Colin with all my heart and I would die first before I attempted to sleep with his brother again. Mostly because he is in a relationship with my sister and if I could do something like that to the man I love and the woman I watched grow from a child to an adolescent to a full-fledged adult then what does that say about
me
?”

Caitlyn’s eyes shined with unshed tears as she embraced me and clung for dear life. “Thanks. You’ll never know how much what you just said means to me. I didn’t want to think in the back of my mind that perhaps Liam might prefer you over me.”

We separated reluctantly and I shook my head. “A hot blonde like you with a great attitude, French charm and fashion sense yet he’s going to prefer me to you? Now I know you’ve lost it.”

“I’m not as irresistible as you seem to think. I don’t think one person can honestly say they have gone through life without being dumped and believe me when I say it has happened to me too.”

I laughed out loud as both Colin and Liam walked back into the sitting room and closed the doors to the in-door patio behind them. My lover walked directly to me and he slid an arm around my waist.

“Is everything all right?” I inquired softly.

“No. I’m tired and we have decided we’ll pick this up another night. You’re not disappointed, are you?” he wondered out loud.

I shook my head. “No, of course not and I think that is best. I’m very tired and jet-lagged.”

“How about we do this on the weekend once you two have gotten a chance to settle into the time change and what not,” Liam suggested though his eyes were glued on Caitlyn and not in a sweet look but with one filled with complete lust and passion.

“Yeah, that works,” I called out as Colin and I walked toward the front door.

We’d barely closed the door when he sighed out loud. “I swear to God, if that mothefucker had kept up his recollection of
that
night, I was going to fucking break his nose.”

“According to Caitlyn, he claimed
you
were driving,” I responded.

“That asshole. Then again, Liam has never been good at taking responsibility for his own mistakes. It’s
always
someone else’s fault. I’ll let it be for tonight but eventually everything will have to come out whether he wants to face the truth or not.”

I stared into Colin’s crystal blue eyes and they were serious and without a hint of humor. I buried myself in his embrace because if we weren’t facing one another, I wouldn’t be forced to accept the finality in his eyes or his voice.

Chapter Twenty

IT WAS ANOTHER
two weeks before Colin helped me work up the courage to see my gynecologist. She confirmed the pregnancy and I was grateful because not only was she a general gynecologist but she also worked as an OB-GYN which meant I didn’t have to be referred out to another physician.

By the this time, we’d gotten into a comfortable regime of him working late nights with Drew trying to get the pub ready for its opening night which was closer than I was comfortable with but in the end, it was their decision.

We’d spent almost the whole month of June in Europe and both Drew and Colin were convinced Bardot would be open by the beginning of August. That left a month to hire a chef and enough bartenders. They’d decided four bartenders would be enough for the time being: two women and two men who both had very professional if sexy outfits. The men were to wear black stovepipe jeans and tight white tee shirts while the women were to wear short black jean skirts and tight white tee shirts. All the tee shirts had Bardot written in scarlet cursive and a famous Warhol-style photo of the actress with the same name in a sexy pose.

I didn’t want to know how much Drew and Colin had paid for the ability to use her likeness on the gear but somehow she’d agreed though Colin confessed late one night the bar was named after the Bardot sisters—Caitlyn and I—not Brigitte but they saw no problem with playing up the reputation the bar was named after the infamous and notorious French actress.

I started work at uConnect like clockwork but within a week of my employment, I found out said tech company rumor was true and it was later announced in a company-wide email Blurt-It Corporation—one of the biggest tech companies outside of Google and Microsoft not to mention homegrown as it was and always had been a Seattle based company—would acquire uConnect for an undisclosed amount of money.

My position as HR manager would be short-lived though I was offered another cushiony position in the company that would guarantee a high salary and something more along the lines of what I would appreciate working towards. Blurt-It Corporation operated a Seattle chapter of HFFIN or Homes for Families in Need and they needed a new President of the division as the present one was quitting to spend more time with her growing children. I happily accepted the position as soon as the transfer of ownership was complete.

Colin and I settled into home life in no time and found time to host Drew and Aubrey who finally admitted to being a couple. She bought my Mini Cooper outright as Colin had two cars and there would be no where to put it. Not only that but they seemed happy and content with one another.

She also wanted to buy me out of my ownership of the condo but both Drew and I thought that could wait as I was staying with Colin so it really made no difference. We’d managed to move most of my clothes, shoes and toiletries over to his place with no problem at all though I’d left my bed due to space issues. My former bedroom in the townhouse would be the official guest bedroom and the third bedroom had been turned into the unofficial business office for Bardot.

It was on one of these late nights I had gotten used to Colin came home slightly buzzed and pleaded for a shower before we sat down to talk. I enjoyed an Evian while I typed up the report I would be handing to the HR Manager from Blurt-It Corporation who would also inherit all the employees from uConnect. It was a general report about the work atmosphere and how the employees were used to being treated, the work environment at uConnect and how to integrate the two companies’ philosophies in the smoothest transition as possible.

I listened to my iPod and slowly read over what I had already written while adding or deleting along the way occasionally. It was technically finished but the following day, I would print out the report and go over it with a red pen before making the final corrections and handing it over to the HR Manager at Blurt-It Corporation.