Autumn Leaves (14 page)

Callie realized that she had waited a long time to be the one who had the power. She wasn’t going to abuse it. Just being aware of it was a good feeling.

Rebecca had called her twice this week though she sounded kind of stressed, someone else always talking in the background. Callie saw that as a good sign. Rebecca made the effort after all, so she couldn’t be too upset about the kiss, could she? It had been sweet and promising, and Rebecca was not mad at her. Maybe that would carry her through another chapter. Going with the flow of her story and life for the moment, Callie decided that after a quick shower, some cereal and fruit would make up her lunch. No distractions until she was done for the day.

Callie’s resolve didn’t last long. A little later she watched David Lowman and the girls say goodbye to Rebecca who was standing on the porch, looking forlorn. Callie’s heart went out to her for all the wrong reasons. She couldn’t go there now, much as she wanted to.

Before she went back to writing, Callie checked her e-mail. There were two new mails of which both made her sigh. Her brother had undoubtedly spoken to Asha. Sean and Asha quickly became friends, who often conspired in deciding they knew what was best for Callie. She didn’t feel like reading it now, so she went to the next. It said “Sat Brunch” in the header and came from Rebecca. Showing a hint of spite, she hadn’t bothered with a BCC. The reminder went to Callie, Roz, Maria, and Betty for all of them to see. Could she risk showing up to the brunch? Another decision she’d postpone.

Callie didn’t think it was a good idea to give an inch with people like Betty LaRue. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see Rebecca with her friends around. She’d just ask her about this later.

* * * *

Rebecca was aware that she was well on her way to failing, in more than one area. The most pressing problem was the commission she had taken on. She couldn’t put her mind to the issues of teens in Autumn Leaves, no matter how hard she tried.

David would come around eventually and forgive her, but she couldn’t forget about the two unhappy girls. They’d lived their whole lives knowing that Rebecca was always available. She had wanted it that way. Now she wondered if she’d made mistakes. If they considered her work a hobby, maybe it was because she hadn’t made the effort to show them otherwise. Was it too late for that? In any case, she would have to make it up to them. First though, she had to get up and work on that damn website for which she went to all this trouble.

Her mind kept wandering as she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Rebecca couldn’t remember when she did that last, feeling the weight of the silence. Let alone in the middle of the day. She should work for at least a few hours and then have some time for herself, with a book, a movie maybe.

Still, Rebecca didn’t move. She looked down at her body, her hand resting on her stomach. She slid her fingers down to the waistband of her slacks, closing her eyes. The thought amused her. It wasn’t that she was afraid of visions of hellfire. It just seemed rather ridiculous when all she really had to do was ring the doorbell on the other side of the street.
First, get some work done, lazy bitch.

Go straight to her office and get started. That was the plan which never came to pass, as a few minutes later she held her cell phone in shaking hands.

“David, I need to talk to you. No, it can’t wait.”

In a heartbeat, all job issues and Callie fantasies vanished to what might become a dire reality. Rebecca hadn’t even meant to go into Dina’s room. She wanted to give her children age-appropriate privacy. All she wanted was to check if there was anything left that belonged in the laundry, or any used dishes. Dina wasn’t the tidiest person. Usually, Rebecca tried not to be on her case all the time, but she needed all the procrastination material she could get on her way downstairs to the computer.

When she indeed found a sweatshirt hanging over the edge of the desk, something clattered to the floor. When Rebecca realized what it was, she felt like fainting.

“You’re snooping in my room when I’m not there?” Dina yelled over the phone, a few minutes later. “It’s not mine!”

“I wasn’t—” she tried, but Dina didn’t even listen.

“You don’t trust me!”

“I do, sweetie, it’s just—”

“It’s Anna’s!”

Rebecca was stunned into silence for a moment. In the wake of relief came worry that was just as profound. This meant Anna’s parents hadn’t paid too much attention to the girls at all. “I need to talk to Anna’s mom, then.”

“No, you don’t.” David had taken back the phone. “Dina says it was a false alarm. It’s nothing.”

“What? I wouldn’t call finding a pregnancy test in my fourteen-year-old daughter’s room ‘nothing’!”

“You heard what Dina said. Besides, we are trying to enjoy a vacation here. Good job, Rebecca.”

She shook her head, if only to herself, still shaken from all the worst case scenarios that went through her head since she’d found the test. “Dina’s best friend had a pregnancy scare. Aren’t you worried at all? Did you even consider what that means?”

“It means there is something we will have to talk about. Soon. Not right now though.”

Rebecca was vaguely aware that a shouting match over the phone wouldn’t solve the problem. She restrained herself just barely though. It was so easy for David to cut the girls some slack when he wasn’t home most of the time. If Anna had needed the test, it meant that she had sex. She didn’t want Dina to consider it an option.

David’s voice softened some when he changed the subject. “How’s work going?”

“Great,” Rebecca lied. “Just great. I could call Anna’s parents.”

“No. Do nothing until we’re back, okay? The girls should know they can trust us, and that we trust them. It’s all right.”

It wasn’t. Not at all.

“Fine. You have fun now.” If it sounded slightly ironic, she couldn’t help it.

“Rebecca. Would you just relax?”

It’s what I’ve been trying for days
, she thought
. It’s just getting worse. Relax? I’m afraid there is only one way to achieve that.

* * * *

“Help me. This is a nightmare, and I don’t have any idea how to wake up. I know I’m sounding stupid. I’ve already been told so today.”

Callie regarded Rebecca skeptically. “I don’t think it’s a good thing if I’m in the nightmare, too, but I’ll try. What’s going on?”

“Nothing much. Just everybody hates me because I spoiled their vacation by being just slightly rattled by fourteen-year-old girls buying pregnancy tests.”

“Oh, my God. Dina?” Callie could instantly understand why Rebecca was this upset. She felt lightheaded herself at the mere idea.

“No. Thank God. No. It’s her friend who thought...well, obviously she was having sex. Her parents have no idea and all David tells me is to just relax and wait? I need to get this site done, but I just can’t stop thinking!”

Now Callie was getting what the problem was, certainly the latest scare concerning Dina in the first place, but Rebecca’s despair told of more. “Okay. I think I understand. It’s the designer’s version of writer’s block. I think I know what we can do.”

“Really?”

“Really. You go pack up your laptop, hook it up here to my Wi-Fi, and we work. It’s going to be fun.”

The look Rebecca gave her made Callie cringe just a little bit. “We are both professionals, right? Rewards later. By which I mean...dinner. You okay with that?”

Finally, Rebecca gave her a tired smile. “That’s the most okay I’ve been all day. Thank you.”

“Good. I promise I’ll try not to hit on you.”

“Good luck with that.”

Callie stood staring after Rebecca who turned to leave for her laptop, finally allowing the smile on her face. Rebecca didn’t just flirt?

* * * *

It was ironic that after all the trouble of the past few days, and especially today, she should find the calm to get on with her task. Surprisingly, it worked. Rebecca wasn’t fooling herself though. She’d spent the first minutes watching Callie who seemed to get back into her story easily. Sitting across from Rebecca, she was wearing glasses, a somewhat absentminded smile on her face. Not so absentminded, really. Rebecca was sure that she was well aware of her scrutiny. She finally turned to her own work, the unfamiliar work surroundings oddly comforting.

The spark was back again. Rebecca pushed everything from her mind, the unpleasant conversations in her family, this afternoon’s shock, even her conflict over the woman sitting just a few feet away. She could worry about everything again when she was done for the work the church would pay her for.

After what seemed like a few minutes but was actually two hours later, Callie got up.

“No worries,” she said softly. “I’ll just make some of that spectacular coffee.” In passing her by, she touched Rebecca’s shoulder briefly. “Show me what you’ve got later?” she asked.

Her words hung in the air between them, making both of them crack up with nervous laughter a moment later. “Your website! I was talking about the site, I swear.”

“Of course.”

“I was!”

“Okay. I’ll show you. It’s not done yet though.” Even so, it was the most continuous work she’d done since she’d promised Father Langdon to deal with the new deadline. Some sort of order was returning to her universe. Relieved, she leaned back in her chair, watching Callie stand by the coffeemaker. She was barefoot, wearing a white tank top and a red skirt ending just below her knees. Rebecca was under such stress when she came here that she’d barely noticed. She did notice now.

“Thank you,” she said.

“I’d say ‘that’s what friends are for’ but I guess that would be a bit hypocritical of me.”

“We’re still friends, right?” Even as she’d said the words, Rebecca knew there was something not quite right with them.

Callie leaned back against the kitchen counter. “Are we going to talk about it?” She didn’t clarify what exactly she meant. Rebecca didn’t need her to.

“I was going to say...This is working pretty well. Could I stay all weekend and work here, I mean, if you’re not expecting anyone?”

“I don’t. I mean, yeah, of course you can stay.”

“I could cook.”

“Sure. Great.”

She couldn’t do this, couldn’t say how she didn’t want to talk about “it,” how she instead wanted to do it again and thought about it all day (with the small interruption of her husband telling her the pregnancy test in Dina’s room was no big deal). When Rebecca got up from her chair, Callie stayed in the same place, a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. She stopped right in front of Callie, reaching out to brush a strand of red hair away from her face. Callie looked up at her with an expression that was as much trepidation as it was anticipation.

Rebecca leaned in and then simply embraced her, a questionable compromise of guilty pleasure. Holding her close was hardly innocent when she knew that Callie was willing to go so much further.

“I wasn’t kidding when I asked you to help me,” she whispered. “I can’t go back. I can’t go forward. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Callie pulled back a little, studying her intently. “Maybe staying for the weekend would help.”

They both knew that if she did, work wasn’t going to be the only thing to happen. Maybe in her feverish wishful thinking, Rebecca had simply lost all touch with reality.

“Maybe.”

Raising herself up on her tiptoes, Callie placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Okay then. Let me get us that coffee now. A couple of hours left until we have to start dinner.”

* * * *

A cruel twist of fate intervened at the very last moment, just like the Dina situation. The universe was conspiring against them, because it knew. That’s what it was, Callie decided as she tried to get the feeling back into her fingers. They’d gotten numb from the moment she’d opened up Sean’s e-mail and read it.

She asked for your e-mail address. Surely it was okay to give it to her? No
, she directed at her brother.
No, damn it, that was not okay.
There was no e-mail from her former girlfriend yet, but it was probably a matter of time. The thought was enough to make Callie feel sick. She’d never wanted to talk to Nicole again. Maybe she should have told Sean more details after all, he wouldn’t be so foolish to try and make her come back to New York every time they met.

“Is something wrong?” Rebecca asked.

“Would it be okay if I had a little meltdown of my own?”
Damn you, Nicole, and Sean too.
She’d barely gotten solid ground back under her feet. Just the prospect of hearing from Nicole brought if all back up, the fights, the fear of the unspeakable, until it happened.

“It’s just my stupid brother giving my e-mail address to the last person in the world I’d want to have it.”

Rebecca waited, patiently, while Callie wondered how much to tell her. It wasn’t fair. If Rebecca had ever been looking for a good reason to step away from where they were heading, this would be it. Maybe she deserved it for wanting what she couldn’t have, the affection of a married woman.