Autumn Leaves (27 page)

“I didn’t know what that means,” Maggie said.

“What, honey?”

“G-B-L-T.”

“Oh. That.” It was fortunate that Maggie was a smart, interested girl who didn’t judge, but was simply looking for answers to her questions. She had read
The Girl Who Lived in a Castle
. The character of Dana gave her an idea, so it wasn’t too hard for Callie to explain.

“Like you and Mommy.”

That made Callie smile
. God, I hope so
. Also, she was quite a bit proud of her first attempt at taking parental responsibility.

“Sometimes, we have families with children. Like Dana’s moms.”

“Okay.” Maggie nodded. “Does that mean that Mommy doesn’t love Daddy anymore?”

Trust her to go right for the heart. Ironic, wasn’t it, that Callie feared the answer just the same.

Chapter Eleven

Rebecca paused in front of Dina’s room, wanting to talk to her, to connect somehow. About to knock, she let her hand fall again, too anxious for her daughter’s reaction. She tried to tell herself that things said in the heat of the moment didn’t count. The cruelty having taken place in their home had gotten to all of them. Chances were that Dina didn’t mean it...She hadn’t apologized though. It would all be better once they could give the girls a clearer picture of the future. Then they would realize it was for the better.

The phone rang downstairs, and before she was even by the top of the stairs, Laurie answered it. Actually, Rebecca was looking forward to living in a household where David’s mother had no way of taking over.

“Oh...All right, I’ll get her. Rebecca? It’s for you.”

Laurie’s expression when she handed the phone to Rebecca made her want to stick her tongue out.
No worries, you’ll get rid of me real soon.

“Hello?”

There was noise in the background, music, and people’s voices, and for a moment she thought it was another unsolicited call. “I don’t have time for this,” she muttered, but then somebody spoke.

“Rebecca, it’s Jenny. Could you please come get your husband?”

“What? You must be mistaken. David is out of town until tomorrow night.”

No, no, no
. Any more bad news and she might just run away. From everything and everyone.

“Well, he’s here now,” Jenny said dryly. Her daughter was in Maggie’s little book club. Jenny was working as a waitress in the most popular pub in town. David and Rebecca had been a few times, but not in the early afternoon. “I got the keys.”

“Thank you,” Rebecca said with a sinking heart. “I’ll be right there.”

What was he doing? As if they needed any more audacity. Maybe she wasn’t being fair, and had no right to her disappointment. Unlike some others, this was a crisis that could have been avoided. She stood for a moment, with the phone in hand, trying to calm herself. First things first. She had to go and get David. Getting him to sober up would be fun, since he wasn’t into excessive drinking. If that was what happened, she was in for a challenge. She would have to draw the line for good. If Rebecca missed church this Sunday, it would be because she’d have packing to do. What was another challenge? She was experienced.

“Hey, sweetheart,” David greeted her. “Come have a drink with me. It seemed to me like there was something we should celebrate.” He frowned. “I can’t remember. Not that it matters.”

Jenny sent her a sympathetic glance. At this time, there weren’t many patrons around, but those who were, clearly enjoyed the spectacle.

“David, let’s go home, shall we?”

“Home, what do you mean?” He stared at her bleakly.

“Home,” she said firmly. “Come on.”

At least he didn’t protest anymore, and their exit was made in silence, as was the drive home. They sat in the parked car, neither of them moving. The lights were on in the house. Rebecca wondered if Callie was still there, and for some reason she hoped she wouldn’t be. She didn’t want Callie to see her at her less competent, with a family crisis she had no idea how to master.

“I thought you were coming on Sunday,” she finally said.

“Finished early,” David murmured. “Not like I have to tell you where I’m going, right? It isn’t like that anymore.”

“Don’t say that.” This was too painful. As a matter of fact, Rebecca had no idea what were the right things to say. Going inside and facing Laurie couldn’t be worse. “Let’s go inside and get some coffee.”

“Rebecca, please.” He grasped her arm, holding her back, the urgency in his voice alarming her. “It doesn’t have to end this way. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, David. We’ll figure it out.”

“Don’t do this,” he pleaded. “Don’t leave me!”

Rebecca felt horribly blindsided. It wasn’t like David acting this way came as a complete surprise, but in the past few days, she’d had no time to prepare for this conversation.

“We talked about this,” she said. It sounded lame to her.

“No, you talked. I can’t believe you’re doing this, after everything we’ve dreamed about, everything we’ve been through...I need you. Please, stay with me.” It was only worse when she realized that this wasn’t drunken talk. He really meant it. The guilt cut even deeper. The last time she saw David cry was when Maggie was born, and in a way it wasn’t that bad, because she was so out of it, it almost had seemed like a dream. There was no way of escape now.

“I can’t.”

“Because of the sex?” he said, a hint of anger simmering beneath the pain. “All these years you were just pretending to enjoy yourself? Why the sudden need for honesty then, when you lied to me all the time?”

“I didn’t. Please, believe me.”

“Then it was all good, and now it isn’t? You’re asking
me
to make sense?”

“I can’t make sense of it. It’s...I...” She was too close now. She had to take the fall down that cliff, too late to turn around.

“I love her.” That might have been the only thing that made sense in her life now, as everything else was falling apart spectacularly.

David didn’t yell or protest. Much to her relief, he just kept contemplating her words.

“You always said to have a family and a home were the most important things in life. She can’t give you that. No matter what you do or how unfair it might be, people will always frown on that kind of relationship.”

“Times are changing.” Rebecca was aware she was overestimating some people in Autumn Leaves, but she was also sure that not all of her friends would abandon her. Betty had, quite some time ago. Sometimes letting go with pain was the only way. Roz had sent an e-mail and asked how Callie was after she’d talked to her mother. People would calm down eventually.

“Not fast enough. Maybe it’s stupid of me to care, but I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“It’s not stupid. I appreciate it. I have thought about these things. David…I’m really sorry.”

David leaned back into the seat with a heartfelt sigh. “If only it was a guy, at least I could punch his lights out.”

“I’m so glad you’re not considering it.”

Inappropriately, she had to laugh, and he joined in. David leaned over to kiss her, and she let him, a gesture of good-bye. Rebecca understood something that moment. This was a place that was safe and familiar, all she’d ever wanted. Being with Callie was stepping into the unknown and still, she had to do it. That was telling her everything she needed to know.

In the kitchen, Rebecca filled the coffeemaker. David joined her after cleaning up, looking wistful.

“I’m sorry about the drama. I guess I didn’t have the courage to tell you, but it’s not like I can’t avoid it any longer. Mom told me what happened here.”

“Oh.” Rebecca didn’t quite follow. “When did you talk to her?”

“She called me last night. I tried to think of alternatives, I really tried, but if you insist on moving in with Callie, it will be better if the girls stay with me.”

“What?” Her voice sounded shrill in her ears. “Why? It’s just across the street, it’s not like—”

“Rebecca,” he interrupted her calmly. “I told you I’ll be working from the office in town next month. Neither of us will want to keep this house, and there’s a very nice apartment near where Mom lives...”

“Your Mom. Of course,” she said with more fear than venom. He couldn’t mean it. “I get it that you’re disappointed in me, and I can’t deny you have the right. If you’re looking for a way to make things even, this is a terrible way to do it.”

“That’s not what it’s about,” David defended himself. “Somebody broke into our house, with the intent to hurt our children.”

“Right, crazy Tim Beckett. He’s been arrested.”

“That’s not the point. Look, I can’t keep you from doing what you want to do, but I think I should have a say in what happens to our children. I will not have them mocked and harassed because their mother decided she should pursue an alternative lifestyle!”

“I thought we were bringing our children up to stand up against prejudice!”

“I’d rather protect them from it, if possible,” David said. “Shared custody is fine, but can’t you see? They need a break from all of this.”

“How would you know? You’ve been around for a couple of days a month for the past ten years!”

He pushed back his chair, shaking his head. “I’m really sorry. I wanted us to have a new start, but since you’re not interested, I’m now even more convinced I made the right decision. I told Mom to take Maggie with her for a few days, just until we can all move in.”

The mug slid from Rebecca’s fingers as she realized the dimension of decisions that were made without her.

“No.”

“Dina’s packing. Please, don’t try to make anyone feel guilty about this. You created it.”

“You can’t just take them away from me! Did you even ask them how they feel about it?”

“Their family’s been the joke of the town. How do you think they feel about getting away from it?”

“David,” she said intently. “You can’t do this!”

“I loved you,” he said. “I really did, but you’re giving me all the answers here. One of us has to put the kids first.”

“But I—”

Rebecca broke off as Dina appeared in the doorway, an awkward smile on her face.

“Mom, I hope it’s okay that we go room with Dad for a while. I guess you and Callie have things to sort out and I’d rather not be here when you start to move stuff.”

“You can stay. Nothing will be moved right away. You know this is your home, Dina!”

“I’m sorry.” Dina stepped forward to embrace her, an unusual gesture from her daughter that was no comfort for Rebecca under these circumstances. It felt too much like a good-bye. This was too much, too soon.

“I hope you don’t mind I packed a few things for Maggie too.”

“Hell, yes, I do mind.”

“Rebecca.” David sent her a warning glance.

“What? You can’t just do this from afar without telling me! These are my children too!”

“Still you’ve been too busy to take care of them lately, haven’t you? Threatening somebody with a gun? You could have hurt yourself or someone else!”

“Oh no, you’re not bringing that up now. You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said!”

“I don’t have to. This is not a good place for the girls to be right now. Dina, please wait in the car. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“No. Dina, no!” Rebecca had never understood how parents could let it happen, their children getting between them in a tug or war, that somebody could get this desperate. Until now.

“Sorry,” Dina whispered, her eyes bright. Then she turned and left.

“You knew,” Rebecca said, the sudden clarity painful and cutting. “You knew when you made Jenny call me, so everyone in town could have a laugh at my expense. While Laurie was packing up the girls’ things.”

“What difference does it make now? We’ll get the rest in the next few days. I suppose we’ll buy a new bed for Maggie.”

“I won’t accept this. I’m their mother!”

“If you care about them, you’ll give them some space now, and you’ll let them have some semblance of a family. Think about it.”

After he had left, Rebecca cleaned the shards off the floor. It was eerie how something was always breaking in this kitchen, she thought. “
Think about it
,” he’d said, but that was hard. Her head was aching so badly, like someone had kicked her. The colorful shards in her hand were blurring. If she wasn’t careful, she’d cut herself. Not a good idea when you were all alone in the house, no one to find her.
No one to find me.

What was she thinking anyway? She didn’t want to expose her girls to another bloody scenario that would only confirm David’s theory of how all of a sudden she became a bad mother. She just needed to clear her head. Make the pain go away, somehow.

In the hallway, Rebecca picked up the phone, wondering if Laurie got them dinner and remembered to make Maggie the tea she liked so much. She just needed to check on that, right?

The answering machine picked up, and Rebecca hung up again. She didn’t want to call Callie either. Seeing Rebecca right now would probably make her run, make her aware that she had other options than this needy, desperate woman who had clearly come to the end of the line.