Autumn Leaves (16 page)

Rebecca gave her mirror image another long look, aware that her heart was about to beat out of her chest. The woman in the mirror was practically glowing with excitement. She was desirable. Rebecca finally opened the bathroom door.

* * * *

“Hey, there you are. I wondered if you were all right in there.”

“I’m fine.” Rebecca smiled hesitantly, but her voice was a breathless whisper, as if Callie had needed anything to make her even weaker in the knees. She moved in closer, pulling Rebecca into a loose embrace.

“I...I used the hairdryer. I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold.” Callie reached up to touch Rebecca’s hair. It was all soft, practically crackling with a lot of brushing, though the small jolt she felt could have been for other reasons. Sparks flew, literally. She couldn’t wait to catch fire.

“Are you nervous?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think I have a general idea about how this works,” Rebecca said, laughing a little.

“Okay. Good. General is fine.”

Callie had harbored several fears about this moment, that there would be guilt, hers, Rebecca’s, awkwardness, stepping back at the very last minute. None of that was going to happen, she realized as they stood entwined, kissing softly as if they had all the time in the world. From where they were now, they had.

Her hands moved to open the belt of Rebecca’s robe, sliding it off her shoulders, fingers brushing over the silky material of the nightgown. She broke the kiss for a moment to put her lips to Rebecca’s neck and then a spot just below the collarbone until Rebecca tilted her head back up to claim her mouth again. Callie hadn’t felt this happy, exhilarated, in a long time. Maybe it was about power. Maybe it was about love.

She made a step backwards, pulling Rebecca with her down to the bed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Rebecca said, seriously surprised at what she found. Her words were so much of a non sequitur that Callie had to laugh, making Rebecca laugh in return, some of the tension relieved.

“Really? A water…”

“Well, yeah. You’ve seen my house. I’m not much for flashing. This is just about my only indulgence of, you know, rich lesbian decadence.”

Rebecca stretched experimentally, seeming fascinated with the way the surface gave underneath her. Callie was more aware of how the hem of her nightgown was riding up, exposing long legs.

“It’s a pain in the ass, actually, needs quite a bit more maintenance than your usual bed.”

“It’s warm,” Rebecca said, brushing her hand over the sheet underneath her. “Feels nice.”

“I want you to feel good.”

Callie leaned close again, and they shared kisses, softly and leisurely, building the hunger. Her hands started a slow journey over Rebecca’s body, still staying above the fabric as they traced her shoulders, arms, her breasts. She slid lower to the hem of the nightgown, and underneath. Callie let her hand rest on Rebecca’s thigh. “Is that okay so far?”

“I’m not complaining, right?”

“That’s right.” She brushed her fingers softly over the fabric of black panties, satisfied with the shiver her touch caused. “We’ll go slow, I promise. As it’s your first time and all.” The way Rebecca’s breath caught at that was telling.

“Wow.” Callie smiled. “I can’t wait to find out what’s going to happen once I start talking dirty to you.”

The breathless moan might not have been Rebecca’s intended answer. She couldn’t hold it back when Callie’s fingers slipped beneath the waistband, the caress even more intimate, as they met warm wetness. Yes, she knew how to do this, and it was a heady feeling to watch the unadulterated pleasure on Rebecca’s face. Her eyes fluttered shut, her body straining into the touch, and Callie was more than happy to comply.

She wasn’t fooling herself. This wasn’t about impressing Rebecca with her skills so she would stay with Callie forever. It was about making the moment—this and many more to come—something neither of them would forget so soon. Maybe there was a sense of competition for her, but she’d deal with it later. She leaned forward to kiss Rebecca, more demanding than she had before, to distract her from the gentle invasion of her fingers, to overwhelm her with sensation. She found a rhythm, slow, excruciating. She wanted Rebecca to feel this, to realize that this wasn’t about a quick orgasm, something inconsequential. She could draw this out, and Callie planned to.

Beneath her, Rebecca was quiet as her attention was focusing inward, her body preparing for what Callie wasn’t ready to give her yet. She was taking her time, starting to feel like her own senses were heightened. Even the warmth of the candles she’d lit seemed like a caress.

“Please.” Rebecca shivered uncontrollably. Callie felt her tense, her own body responding like to an actual touch. “Please,” Rebecca said again, a world of need warring with frustration in this one word. “Going slow,” she gasped when Callie slightly curled her fingers, “is overrated.”

“Whatever you need,” Callie whispered, her fingers moving in a different rhythm now.

“Like this? Is that what you want? Yes, I can see that it is. I love doing this to you.”
I love you
, she added in her mind, aware that it wasn’t the right time for these words to be said aloud. Then again, Callie had always given away her heart too easily. It didn’t matter now. She was done with worrying. With that certainty, she could finally lose herself in Rebecca’s pleasure, her own, until the lines blurred to invisible.

* * * *

Rebecca had, until lately, never given much thought to what two women could do in bed together. To be precise, she wondered shortly after finishing the first book Callie gave her, blushing, more intrigued than she had cared to admit. She wasn’t blushing now as Callie explored her body, hands, lips, each action slow and deliberate, giving her time to feel, to memorize. It was too good, too intense, almost unreal. She had vague ideas about how to show her appreciation, but she didn’t mind Callie spelling them out for her first.

Another candle on the nightstand died. Rebecca barely noticed the change in light when Callie gently parted her thighs further and leaned down. The touch of her tongue was a jolt of pleasure that stole Rebecca’s breath. She bit her lip not to form any sentences that would have blasphemy in them, but Callie seemed to understand anyway. Of course she did, she wasn’t new to this, and she knew exactly what she did. Again.

“You know I’m willing to make it all up to you?” she barely managed to speak when Callie paused to catch her breath.

“There’ll be time for that,” Callie promised, her eyes shining with the light of the only remaining candle. “Now let me finish what I started. I always do.”

“God, yes.” So much for not using any blasphemy.

“Okay then.”

Rebecca wanted this, and she wanted to do all of it to Callie, not quite sure which thought was arousing her more at the moment. Her face felt hot, but still she watched intently, the visual of what she was experiencing heightening sensation. As her fingers tangled in Callie’s hair, lightly, trying not to pull, she finally let go, maybe for the first time tonight. She hadn’t even noticed that there were tears in her eyes until Callie was beside her, pulling her close, whispering, “It’s okay.”

Rebecca held on to her tightly, wishing that Callie was right. Wishing it so much.

She needed to know more than that, though. Callie had had other lovers before, the gorgeous Asha Malik included. She had chosen Rebecca, and that had to count for something. Rebecca ran her hand down Callie’s side, enjoying the feel of soft warm skin under her fingertips. Her nervousness was warring with anticipation.

“Can I...” This was almost worse than being back to those awkward teenage moments. She didn’t even know exactly what she was asking for. Something. Everything.

“You can do whatever you want to do to me. Outside some weird kink that is, but I trust you there.”

Callie’s gaze on her was warm, affectionate, and absolutely serious. A little amused maybe. She was certainly aware that Rebecca’s fantasies wouldn’t go further than those boundaries.

Her fingers traced the shape of a breast, curious, nipple hardening under her feather-light touch. Rebecca couldn’t help it. Part of her was still worried she might be waking up from a beautiful but haunting dream any moment. She had dreamed of this, in vague blurry images her subconscious had produced. The reality of it was still hard to believe. She pulled Callie closer to her, their legs tangling, and she finally brought her hand between their bodies.

She might not be that experienced, but she had at least an idea, and every soft sound from Callie, the change in her breathing was confirming that she was right. So this was it, the confrontation with a truth she’d tried to deny best she could. Rebecca hadn’t felt this connected to another person in a long time, physically, and beyond. She wanted it to last, make it even better, but the moment was over too soon as Callie shivered against her, leaning into her to kiss her softly.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“That wasn’t quite as...extensive.” Rebecca didn’t quite know how to feel about it. A little confused, a little guilty.

“It was perfect,” Callie insisted, snuggling close.

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it then.”

“Please do. I’m sorry, I promised ‘slow’.”

“It’s fine.”

There was a lot to discover. A lot to lose, too, but for the moment, in a world never imagined before, she was truly happy. No guilt intruded on her dreams either.

* * * *

Rebecca woke to the sun shining in her face. She stretched languidly. When the feel of a soft, yielding, and unfamiliar surface underneath registered with her, Rebecca’s eyes snapped open. It wasn’t a dream, then. She was remarkably calm about it as she mentally went through scenes of the last evening, last night. She stayed still, not wanting to wake Callie who was still fast asleep beside her. Until now, anyway.

“You’re still here,” she said softly, as if that fact came as a surprise to her. Rebecca couldn’t blame her for that.

“It’s very comfortable.” Callie’s face fell ever so slightly, and Rebecca felt the need to clarify. “I’m here because I want to be here. With you.”

She linked her fingers with Callie’s gently, the touch calming nerves for both of them, nervousness melting away. “I hope you didn’t doubt that.” If she had though, Rebecca understood. Each step she was walking from here was foreign territory, and not so much the sex. If you thought somebody was beautiful, inside and out, desire wasn’t the hardest part. There was the irreversible change in their relationship. There was cheating on Rebecca’s part. If she couldn’t completely trust herself, why would Callie?

“I try.” Callie was honest, at least. It was all they could do for now anyway.

Her gaze fell on the digital clock on the nightstand.

“This is heaven, you know? I can’t remember the last time I slept in until nine.”

“You needed the rest.” Callie’s smile was with a hint of mischief.

“I sure did. What are we...Oh no,” Rebecca interrupted herself, bolting upright in bed. “It’s Saturday.”

“Yeah, and thank God for that.” Callie hid a yawn behind her hand.

“Saturday. Brunch. Which I’m supposed to be hosting today.” Rebecca was out of bed, looking around somewhat clueless. Her nightgown hung over a chair haphazardly. She had donned a tank top and a slip for the night at some point.

“Clothes are in the living room,” Callie reminded her. “Can’t you call it off?”

“Not a half hour before, no.” Rebecca shook her head. “Damn, my fridge is almost empty.”

“Don’t panic. You go set the table. I’ll get some things from the store.” Callie got up to stand behind Rebecca, wrapping her arms around her. “It’ll take just a few minutes.” She hesitated before continuing, “I’ll stay away though if you’d like me to. I don’t think Betty will want to see me.”

“I don’t care what Betty wants,” Rebecca said grimly. “If she wants to come and gossip in my house, she needs to accept my guests. Besides, it was Maria who brought you in. Okay. I’ll take a shower over at my place.” She wasn’t looking forward to leaving the warmth of Callie’s embrace anytime soon. The idea to just cancel on her friends was tempting, but Rebecca thought she had to uphold some sort of normalcy. “Could you bring some bread and fruit? Cheese would be good. Some juice maybe.”

“Rebecca, calm down. We have enough time. Oh, and before you go, you should put on some pants. Not on my behalf, mind you.

“You know,” Rebecca said, “we could find a way to cut brunch short today. Would you like that?”

Callie’s smile was all the answer she needed.

* * * *

Callie hummed choir songs as she drove to the grocery store. Some citizens of Autumn Leaves might disapprove, but she thought she had reason to praise the Lord with the unexpected turn to wonderful her life had taken. Against all odds and reason, Rebecca was with her. If only for the weekend, and none of the unrealistic dreams and plans still playing at the back of her mind would ever come true. Callie, however, wasn’t going to spoil their time by trying to see beyond that. She’d make every minute of it count. If she felt like a lovesick teenager now, she could pour all the heartbreak that was certain to come into written words later. Not that she’d give up hope completely. Not yet.