Avis Blackthorn: Is Not an Evil Wizard! (2 page)

The scream from Wendice sailed around the
castle louder than a clan of banshee. Mum jumped in front of her,
for she looked like she might murder me.

Rory suddenly appeared from nowhere. “Avis,
how
could you
?!” he called.

“Yeah!” said Gary and Ross. “To your own
Sister
?!”

Rory grabbed me by the collar. “Think you
need to be punished!”

They marched me to centre of the crowd.
Before I knew it, my trousers and pants were round my ankles, in
front of anyone who was anyone in Happendance. My face went more
scarlet than the cherry punch. In a scramble, I tried to pull my
trousers back up, but couldn’t, they were stuck! They had been
Spelled to the floor… so everyone just stood, three hundred odd
people, watching me flounder around on the floor with all my bits
and bobs out. It’s safe to say, if I wasn't a laughing stock
before, then I was the definition of laughing stock now.

Wendice seemed reasonably revenged and
laughed heartily along with the crowd. Mum and Dad undid the Spells
and marched me away from the hall. Mum yelled at me for crying,
then Dad told her he would “
handle it”
. Dad didn't look at
me, he was ashamed, I knew it. Silently he walked me the servants
quarters, handing me over to Butler Kilkenny, telling him to find
me a locked room where I wouldn’t be found (which is partly what I
wanted originally).

***

Clunk
went the door lock. There was no
way out. I paced my new room in a complete foul mood. I should be
used to it by now, getting treated like that for being the outcast,
but the truth is I’m not. Not at all. I hate them all so much, with
their smug faces and nasty, vindictive personalities. My brothers
will all be patting each other on the back now and plotting their
next prank on me. None of them care though, because well, they are
evil… they are raised to be evil and follow perfectly in my
parent’s footsteps. All will one day, be working for Malakai. I
didn’t want that.

I summoned all my stuff to this new room, a
Spell which I have used far too often. I have to change rooms a lot
to avoid being harassed by people. The Spell doesn't work as well
as I’d like, I have to do it about ten times until all my stuff
actually comes. Butler Kilkenny had put me in high turret, with a
view of the deepest cavern below our castle. He did that on
purpose. He knows I hate heights. I blocked the window with my
dilapidated old wardrobe, it was falling to bits because of the
amount of times I moved it around with the summoning Spell.

If only I had some friends. I could move out
of here and go live with them. I could plot against my horrible
family. Make them look stupid, make them know what it feels like to
be the laughing stock for once.

After I calmed down I started to get all my
stuff ready for Hailing Hall. This put me in a better mood, Hailing
Hall was my way out of this damp, cold castle with incremental
visits from various evil people. Hailing Hall would be my
salvation. Every time I thought about it a little butterfly did
jumps in my stomach.

Enclosed in the letter from school I had a
list of stuff I needed to get. I found my big green bag with wooden
toggles and started to pile clothes in.

Socks.
Check
.

Pants.
Check
.

Trousers and Jeans.
Check
.

Shirts.
Check
.

Jackets.
Check
.

Jumpers.
Check
.

Once that was suitably full I got another bag
for my books. This bag was square, perfect for books, and made of
Hubris leather so it could handle a lot. I piled in as many as I
could fit, which sadly, was only about thirty. I hope they have a
library at this school. My best friend and fluffy rabbit teddy
Sedrick went in a third bag along with all my wash bits - Beatle
Bit’s Toothpaste, Newt Eye Underarm Spray, Moss Moisturiser and
Spider Leg Shower Gel.

I am afraid I piled it all in rather
haphazardly, as I was in a such a foul mood, that something rather
smelly began leaking. I left them in a corner and sat on my bed for
a long sulk about the gits downstairs. It’s then, that I noticed
writing on the other side of the letter. The list continued on the
back! I scanned it and was horrified as it read:

Channeller: a Ring, Amulet or Pendant.

Cauldron.

Ever-changing long robes.

Ever-changing tie.

Then below that:

No teddy bears or animals, alive or not, are
permitted, nor are any books or reading matter.

I huffed and stared at the letter. No books?!
No Sedrick?! I charged back across my room and pulled all the
non-permitted stuff out again. I put the books back on the shelf,
and Sedrick back on my bed, brushing off whatever had leaked in the
bag. I would have to hide him while I was away, so that no one
would come looking for him to rip his head off or something.

This left me with one bag, I returned to the
list.

A channeller? I had nagged Mum and Dad all
summer that they needed to get me one, but obviously they had
forgotten! A channeller is a thing that you wear that channels
Magic, everyone has one. You can’t really do proper Magic without
one. Everyone in our family has the Blackthorn ring, it’s a silver
ring with the Blackthorn family crest intertwining all through it.
I was fascinated as a kid and couldn't wait to get mine. I sort of
gave up that dream when I was old enough to realise that I was
useless at Magic and a burden to the family.

So what on earth was I supposed to do without
a channeller? Would I be turned away from the school? Perish the
thought! There’s no way I was spending another day here longer than
I had to. I returned to the list.

A cauldron? We had loads of them lying about
I could pilfer. Dad had a load of rusty ones in the garden.

Ever-changing long robes? Now that’s
difficult. Ever-changing clothes are basically clothes that change
colour. I am guessing it’s based on what year or class you are in.
Ross is going into his last year at Hailing, his long robes were
navy, but yesterday they turned dark green. And his tie is red, I
know they both mean different things, I just have no idea what, he
won’t tell me. I just know that they change by themselves.

There was no way Mum or Dad was going to take
me shopping now, not after what just happened downstairs. Even
though it wasn’t my fault.

***

Over the coming days, I had no idea what was
happening at the castle. Malakai could have killed my entire family
for all I knew. Dad had put so much Magic around these turrets that
the only noise I heard was Butler Kilkenny’s old man boots and
stiff creaky knees as he climbed the stairs and bent down to push
another sandwich through the door flap. They were mostly all dry
and horrible by the time he got up here.

This time, however, I was ready for him. As
the corn beef sandwich rattled through the mini door flap, I
reached out and grabbed his wrinkly old arm.

“AH! Gerrof!” he cried.

But I wouldn't. I had been crying and
screaming for my family to let me out for the last two days and
this was the last straw. I was due to be at Hailing TODAY, and I
was pretty sure they had forgotten.

“What you playing at boy!” he rasped at
me.

“You need to let me out! I’m supposed to be
going to my new school today! You need to take me!”

“No chance!” he spat. “Your parent’s orders
are to keep you up here out of trouble,” he croaked.

“Tell them, I am starting school and I will
be out their hair for good.” Butler Kilkenny paused, he knew this
might please my parents, he’s such a suck-up.

“Fine,” he said, wrenching his hand back. “I
will go and tell them.”

The tiny flap shut and sealed again. I paced
the room, listening painfully to the creaking knees. I resisted the
urge to tell him to hurry up.

Twenty minutes later, the key turned in the
lock and the door opened. Butler Kilkenny stood glum and indicated
for me to follow.

“Well?” I said. “What did they say?”

“Not much.”

I had hoped they would be a little melancholy
that their youngest son was off to big school, perhaps give me a
teary goodbye, like they had all the others. I remember when Ross
left six years ago, Mum and Dad held a leaving party and escorted
him to the school in the ceremonial carriage.

I grabbed my bag, said a quick goodbye to
Sedrick, who I had hidden in a crevice under a wonky stone, and
left.

“So, erm, who’s taking me?” I said, suddenly
realising I didn't know where Hailing Hall was.

“I take you to the station, you go from
there. Map is on the letter.”

I just had chance to grab a cauldron from a
pile of rusty ones by Dad’s greenhouse before jumping into the
carriage and flying off. Away from the castle, my home for twelve
years. There were no teary goodbyes, I didn't see my parents, or
anyone else. The house was as quiet as a fart in Farkingham. The
carriage soared high above the cavern and over the Forest of Trill,
which I used to play in as a child with the leprechauns, until they
turned nasty, so I try to stay away if I can. The horses pulling
the carriage were Dave and Henry, both looked very indignant as
always. They hated flying.

Butler Kilkenny flies like a maniac. I tried
to tell him it was not Trill station I needed but the next one -
Unverdown. That’s what my letter said anyway. I stuck my head out
the carriage window and screamed at him to turn around because
Unverdown was “
back there!”
The stupid old deaf git didn't
hear, or chose not to.

I didn't have chance to tell him what a dozy
pratt he was, because as soon as I got out the carriage outside
Trill station to tell him to go back to Unverdown, he flew off! One
of the horses nearly took my head off, I think it meant to.

I sighed. Approaching the station I saw my
worst nightmare. A small sign stood with bad news.

“
Unfortunately due to not enough people
wanting to travel today, we are closing the station as we can’t be
bothered.”

Not even an apology. Brilliant. Unverdown was
only a couple of stops from Trill, but god knows how long it was to
walk.

Not wanting to waste any time, I hitched up
my bag - cursed how much I’d packed, and began to hike off in the
general direction of Unverdown station.

Guess what, as soon I started walking, this
huge black cloud came overhead and started pelting it down. It was
the kind of rain that hurts when it hits you in the face. I
trudged, soaking wet all through, with no coat, along paths that
became more like mud baths. I walked through Trill village, with
its suburban brick cottages and carriages outside. I thought about
stealing one, but the guilt would overcome me. Anyone in my family
would do it in a heartbeat. But me, I just couldn't.

At the end of the village was a sign to
Unverdown. I continued to trudge along this country lane, using my
bag as a kind of crap umbrella. If I could do Magic this rain would
not be a problem, but, well I couldn't do much Magic so I had to
settle for being wet and miserable. I walked alongside Trill forest
and these Gnomes came out to watch me. They all pointed and
laughed. I was being mocked by a gang of Gnomes, my life really
just continued to plummet.

Eventually I did make it to Unverdown
station. Even though I had to ask a suspicious looking old man
where it actually was. He pointed to a house. When I looked blankly
at him, he told me to open the front door of number 42. Anyway I
left him as he continued doing what ever he was doing, staring at
the ground looking old and weird, he’d probably used too much
Magic, let it rot his brain. That happens apparently.

So I opened the big red door of number 42, an
end of terrace and expected to see a cosy living room, yet, it led
straight out onto a small platform. Unverdown station at last. I
breathed a sigh of relief, I might make it to school yet. Standing
in the driving rain for what seemed like days, waiting for the
train to arrive, was not ideal. When it finally arrived, I was
soaked to the skin, with my bag of clothes now wetter than a
drowned fish. But, I finally boarded the packed train. It was full
of OAP Witches and Wizards, three warlocks, a sneezing Norse, a
grumpy egg-man, and a wolf dressed as a nanny and whatever else (I
tried not to make eye contact).

The train was hot, too hot. I steamed up the
whole carriage then consulted the letter again to see how many
stops it was until we got to Hailing, but the letter didn't say. I
scoured the carriage to see if there was a map or station list, but
there wasn't. Why on earth not? If I was a train manager, that’s
the first thing I would do!

The train shot forwards, the trains in
Happendance run themselves, they don’t have drivers. Just Magic I
think. I’m not too sure.

The conductor appeared next to me in a flash,
he was tall and dressed in a navy moccasin, when he turned I saw it
was Mr. Wolfe - the half-man, half wolf, descended from the one and
only (the fairytale about the wolf and the pigs, ‘I’ll huff and
puff and blow your house down’ type thing.)

He looked awful, mind you it’s not natural
for him to be in a suit taking tickets on a hot stuffy train. The
pigs in the corner cowered, I reckon they were trying to dodge
their fare - they’re notorious for that.

“Have. You. Got. A. Ticket?” he said, in his
wolfy voice.

I bought one off him, three gold pieces! It
goes up every week! Lucky I had enough gold stashed away in my
room.

I asked him when we would be arriving at
Hailing Hall.

“About Two. Hours…”

I thanked Mr. Wolfe as genuinely as I could,
without repulsing at the slime dripping from his jaw. I did feel
sorry for him, I really did.