Avoiding Responsibility (48 page)

"I just think that maybe you should stay out of it," Seth proceeded forward.

"I couldn't agree with you more," she said.

"Well then what you doing here?" Luke asked tossing back a shot of the whiskey and handing it to Hunter.

"There really isn't time for this guys. You know as well as I do that Jack is a philandering ass. You've always known and you never cared up until this moment in his life, because now he's getting married," she said waving her hands in the air belittling the statement. "For some reason a piece of paper changes your mind about his behavior, which is kind of bullshit to be honest. So just do the same thing you did for the last seven years and turn a blind eye to the fact that I am going into his room. Okay?"

She knew that none of them would believe her if she had said that nothing was going to happen. She didn't want anything to happen, but the only way to get their attention would be to throw it back in their face. They had stood idly by all those years and let things happen. There was no legitimate reason now to get all high and mighty.

The desired effect occurred. All the guys ducked their chins admitting their involvement as an accomplice to Jack's actions. They knew as well as anyone just what they had witnessed and overlooked all that time. And though they felt bad about it at the moment, they weren't going to stop her. And anyway she wasn't planning on anything happening with Jack.

Lexi threw them a fake smile before sauntering towards the French doors. She opened it without knocking and quickly closed it in the faces of the three guys behind her.

"Lex," Jack murmured in an almost desperate tone.

"Hey Jack," she said tentatively. She couldn't help but notice how gorgeous he looked in his tux. She wondered if they had chosen blue to match his eyes, because she could see how much they stood out from across the room.

"I'm glad you're here," he said as he cleared the distance between them.

Before Lexi even knew what was going on, Jack grabbed her hips firmly in his hands and pressed her back against the door. Lexi gasped as she thudded against the wood. As she was recovering from the fact that her back had shaken the door frame, she realized in that split second that Jack's body was pressing against her. His hand threaded into her hair and his face began to move closer towards her. Lexi's mouth opened slightly in surprise…was he about to kiss her? Just when the thought connected in her mind, his mouth dropped down and met her lips.

Thanks for the reviewers: Meow X, Cupid's Psyche, sweets1103, spunkyorange, Ms. Vengeance, Kelly Rogala, Bkimmer, Sophie, CMtaylor, LandofPeoples, taurus09grrl, helplessromantic285, Jensi, and effortlessromantic.

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K.A. Linde

There was a time I thought, that you did everything right

No lies, no wrong. Boy I, must've been outta my mind

So when I think of the time that I almost loved you

You showed your ass and I saw the real you

-Beyonce "The Best Thing I Never Had"

Chapter 24: Present

Lexi could not believe that Jack had the nerve to kiss her on his wedding day. She knew that it hadn't meant anything to him before, but this had to be different. She didn't care if he was having doubts or if he wanted to bow out of the wedding, that didn't suddenly make it okay for his to kiss her. In fact, it just showed how confused and desperate he was. Just what she didn't need to deal with right now. Even Lexi with her loose morals when it came to Jack Howard knew that this was 100% not okay.

She placed both of her hands on his chest and attempted to separate herself from Jack. He didn't even seem to notice or acknowledge her efforts. His hands resting on her hips just held her more firmly in place. She couldn't believe this. He wouldn't even budge an inch. "Jack," she groaned still trying to shove him away, but he wasn't listening. He was a man possessed.

He hadn't had his lips on her in over a year, and she had wanted to keep it that way. After what had happened the last time, she hadn't wanted to be put in this position again. Somehow she always found herself kissing him. It happened when she wasn't expecting it and when it was the last thing that needed to happen in her life. But she wasn't a confused girl this time around, she knew better than to let this continue. She couldn't believe what she was about to do, but he wasn't exactly leaving her any other option.

Almost out of instinct, Lexi's knee hitched up and connected cleanly with his groin. Jack immediately broke free of her and doubled over in pain. "Fuck," he cried gasping for breath. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She could see his face was turning red and was contorted into agony.

Lexi had never kicked a guy in the ball before, but she knew the general motion and apparently had executed it properly. She just stood there over him and watched as tears came to his eyes as he held himself. For some reason that was ridiculously satisfying. He certainly didn't need to be using those things for anything in the near future, and he had been sexually harassing her.

"What the fuck was that Lexi?" Jack cried out as he put his head between his knees to ease the pain.

"What the fuck was that?" she asked him. "Are you joking? You were molesting me on the day of your wedding!"

"No need to knee me in my balls. Fuck," he cried out again relenting to sit helplessly on the floor.

"Oh you don't think so? What gives you the right to kiss me? You completely lost all privileges in that department when you proposed to Bekah. What kind of person kisses someone else
on their wedding day
?" she asked throwing her arms in the air. "Are you a fucking moron Jack? Do you know nothing of fidelity or loyalty or honesty or commitment? I think you have no concept of those things. You are the
exact
same person you are when I first met you. You haven't changed at all."

"You liked that person," he grumbled painfully.

"Oh don't even get me started on that front! You lied to me. You were dating someone else and you never even bothered to tell me. How could I ever have been fooled into thinking you would like and respect me after that, let alone think you could ever
love
me? You are too selfish to see anyone or anything else," Lexi spat at him.

"You weren't much better. You cheated on Clark," he mumbled taking deep breathes.

"It is my greatest shame, my biggest regret. You…you don't even know what those words mean. You never felt bad…never. You never wanted me to be first. Bekah was right about one thing, as much as I hate to admit that, but I always was second best to you. You never wanted me for me. You wanted me for the easy sex you got when we were talking. We had so many shots and you just blew it. You knocked it out of the park. You made us look like we could never be together." Lexi crossed her arms angrily thinking about how fucked up their relationship had been for so long. She was just as angry with herself for putting up with it. She didn't care if she loved him or if she wanted to be around him or that they had this immediate attraction. She needed more than that and it was something Jack was never able to provide.

"I did want us to be together," he said glancing back up at her finally.

Lexi bent down to look at him at eye level. She couldn't believe how gorgeous his eyes still looked even as they were teared up and slightly red. But he would need more than the beautiful blue eyes she had always fallen for to get out of this conversation. "It took me a long time to realize how much of a liar you are."

"I'm not a liar, Lex. I always said I would tell you the truth," he whined.

Lexi shook her head. "You always said the words, but you only spoke the truth when it benefited you. And in that sense Jack, you have never changed."

"When did I lie to you?" he demanded. He doubled back over as he clutched himself. She had really done a number on him.

"When?" she asked with a cynical laugh. "You want me to make a list for you?"

Jack nodded. "When I honestly lied to you Lexi."

"I think your most telling moment Jack was when you told me that you wanted to be with me and then proposed to Bekah. If that isn't the biggest lie you've ever told, then I don't know what is," she spoke bitterly.

Jack raised his head and let his sad blue eyes rest back on her. "I did want us to work Lexi."

"But you
proposed
to her only hours after having sex with me!" she cried straightening up to avoid the prolonged eye contact. "That's disgusting."

"It's just…I thought we could be together, and then I saw you with Ramsey. I was…jealous," he murmured attempting to stand up.

"You were jealous of Ramsey?" she asked arching an eyebrow.

"Yea and apparently I had good reason to be. You guys were together for a year. You're here for him," he said with a shrug. He coughed twice trying to resist the bile that was rising in his throat. His lower half was throbbing in the most uncomfortable pain of his life. He felt like a tingly soreness had just fallen over his entire body and something was caught in his throat. He wouldn't be walking straight for awhile.

"So you proposed to Bekah, because I kissed Ramsey not because you wanted to marry her?" Lexi asked. However implausible the scenario was, she wanted to get his absurd answers out in the open.

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"No? You do realize whatever you are going to say is going to sound ridiculous," she asked crossing her arms again to block off the sympathy that was starting to creep up in her. She had known Jack too long. She didn't need to get sucked into his trap again.

"I just mean that when I saw you with Ramsey, I saw that I wasn't everything to you," he murmured leaning against a dresser for support. "I saw that we had too much baggage to really work together as a couple. I wanted it. I always wanted it, but I just wasn't sure if it was ever plausible. I wasn't sure if you could ever look past what had happened in our past to move onto a future with us."

"So you picked the easy way out. You fucked me and then went for your blonde bitch as always," she snapped forcefully. Lexi was so angry at his explanation. She had had similar thoughts at one point in time, but that didn't mean she was just going to walk away from him. She had ran away so many times before so it should have made sense that Jack had done the same thing. They were two peas in a pod. But to just desert their entire past because he was scared and jealous was just a terrible explanation. She would have expected better from Jack. Even though she didn't know why she should have that expectation. He had always fallen short of them before. "You didn't even have the decency to…oh I don't know…communicate with me about any of this. I didn't even know you were planning to propose and then poof you're engaged."

"I was going to tell you," he said reaching out to her.

Lexi instantly took a step away from him. She couldn't believe him. She couldn't believe anything he said to her anymore. He had lied to her…about everything. And it was about damn time that she followed through with that belief. No more giving in to him just because that was what she had always done. She liked to think she had grown since then…even in a week's time. "No. No you weren't, and it doesn't matter. You were right about Ramsey anyway. That's probably why we're back together."

"What?" Jack asked his head snapping to face her. He groaned at the sudden movement and leaned more heavily on the dresser. "You guys are back together."

Lexi looked at him suspiciously. He looked a bit shaken by the announcement though to be fair she had just kicked him in the balls. He probably would look shaken regardless. "Yes stop acting so surprised."

"He is not right for you," Jack said instantly.

"Oh please," Lexi said rolling her eyes. "As if Bekah is good for you? I don't think so."

"This isn't about Bekah. This is about Ramsey."

"This is just as much about Bekah as it is about Ramsey. You have no say in whether or not I'm dating him or why," Lexi snapped. She was tired of his games. She was tired of him wanting her to be single while he went off and married Bekah. That didn't make sense. Bekah and Ramsey were intrinsically linked in this charade that her and Jack had been playing.

She could see it in his face that he didn't want to concede that point. He never wanted to give up his hold on her. It didn't matter if he was going to be married in a few hours. These things didn't generally cross Jack's mind. "I know you're dating him, because you think he can give you a happy life."

"I don't just think that Jack. I know he can," she said with a cocky smile.

"What you think everything is just going to be fine now that he's working with Parker every day?" Jack asked taking a few steps back from the dresser and resting against the footboard of the enormous bed centered in the room. Lexi knew she had entered a bedroom when she had walked in, but until that second she hadn't really assessed her surroundings. The bed really was massive. It took up a significant portion of the room and was so full of down pillows and a soft down comforter that when Jack leaned back the bed dipped in around him. It looked like it would completely envelope her if she lay back against it.

Lexi didn't want to think about Parker, but she knew that she couldn't back down from Jack. Once he knew he had an advantage he would just keep pushing until he got his way, and she couldn't have that. Ramsey was not interested in Parker. They had history and nothing else…just like she wanted things to be like with Jack. If Ramsey had wanted to get back together with Parker, he had had years to do that. There was no need now when he was finally happy with Lexi to go and mess things up with Parker. The only reason Lexi was even here was because Ramsey had asked her. He had trusted her enough to not give into Jack, and she had to trust him in turn.

"Yes, I think everything will be fine," she said standing her ground.

Jack laughed. He actually laughed at her. It sounded rather painful since he was still recovering, but it was definitely laughter. "When people have that much history, it's never fine. Just look at us…look at where we are. You think this is just fine?"

"I think I just kicked you in your balls to show you just how
fine
everything is between us," she said leveling her gaze on him.

"Yes, but they were going to get married. It's a bit different don't you think?" he asked trying to unseat her.

"You want to bring up people getting married Jack?" she asked glaring at him.

Jack shrugged again unperturbed by her bringing up his wedding again. "Go on and tell me that you think it's the same as us," he challenged her.

"You know, in fact, I don't think it's the same as us. If they wanted to be together, they would have. Clearly they don't want that. They might be working together, but that's all Jack. Not everyone is like you. You have no idea what Ramsey can give me," she said shoving a lock of hair behind her ear.

Jack shook his head side to side. He hadn't missed her nervous tick at the end of that last statement. "Just as delusional as you always were," he said resting his arm back against the bed invitingly.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked avoiding looking at the bed. The last thing she wanted to do was appear interested in that bed.

"On some small level you don't think that working in close proximity together every day is going to rekindle something that was once there? Imagine if we had to work together every day. What would it be like?" Lexi stopped and considered it. She was sure that it would be a disaster. She had trouble enough resisting him when she rarely ever saw him. She couldn't imagine what it would be like. But she didn't know if that's how Ramsey and Parker's relationship worked. It was unfair to judge them based on how an atypical relationship functioned. "I take it you get my point?"

"I think it's different with them than it is with us, because they were together, they broke up, and they moved on. We were never together, we never broke up, and we've never moved on. Clearly you just kissed me."

"But it's not that far-fetched," Jack countered.

"Stop trying to make me doubt what I have Jack. It's not going to work. Ramsey and I have so much more than you ever gave me. You don't even know what it's like to be in a relationship with me. Ramsey does. You don't know what it's like to vacation with me. Ramsey does. You don't know what it's like to not be scared that we're going to cheat on each other. Ramsey knows that feeling. In some ways he knows me better than you ever could Jack, because you never gave us a real shot. I'm not going to stand here and let you talk shit about Ramsey. I love him and that's that," she said turning away from him angrily.

She knew that she hadn't exactly done what she had been planning to do when she walked into Jack's room, but he had changed the game when he had kissed her. She didn't care if he married the bitch or not. She didn't care whether or not he ruined his life. She just wanted him out of hers.