Awake and Dreaming (15 page)

She lingered by the phone, waiting for it to ring. When it did, she snatched it up, listened for a few seconds, then said to Sharon, “It's Skye. She wants me to go to Goldstream Park for the day with her mum and Carol.”

“That's nice,” said Sharon, “especially when I'm so useless today. Let me talk to Robin.” Sharon had become quite friendly with Robin and Carol.

Theo had expected this. “Is your mum there?” she asked into the receiver.

At the other end Skye giggled so hard that Theo was afraid Sharon would hear.

“They've gone to the store for a few minutes,” she told Sharon.

“Let me talk to Skye, then.”

Theo listened in agonized suspense. Could Skye stop laughing? Sharon said, “Uh huh … uh huh … and you'll be back at six? All right. Please thank your mother for including Theo.”

She handed the phone back and blew her nose. “She says you'll be gone all day—you're going on a hike. That's good—you shouldn't be around me with all these germs. You'd better make yourself a sandwich and take one of those juice boxes. You'll have to walk to Skye's on your own, Theo. I can't move. Go straight there and phone me when you arrive.”

“I'll be careful,” said Theo, to make Sharon stop looking so worried. She made herself a peanut butter sandwich
and put it with an apple and some juice and her anorak into the backpack Sharon had bought her. It was incredible that her guilt wasn't more apparent—it felt as if it were sprouting from her like prickles. She'd thought Sharon would insist on walking her to Skye's and she hadn't figured out how to stop her coming in to speak to Robin.

“Have a good time, hon,” said Sharon. “No, don't kiss me—you might get my cold.”

Theo blew her a kiss as she walked out the door.

S
HE HEADED IN
the direction of Skye's house in case Sharon was watching out the window. As she passed it a few streets over, she glanced at it gratefully and kept on going. Good for Skye. She'd thought the plan was fun when Theo had suggested it to her.

“But what are you going to do?” she'd asked.

Theo shrugged. “I just want to explore Victoria on my own.”

“Good idea!” said Skye. “Maybe I could come with you!” She looked so eager that Theo almost said yes. She was relieved when Skye remembered that she and her mum had to visit someone on Saturday afternoon.

Theo turned towards Beacon Hill Park. Then she remembered she was supposed to phone Sharon. She looked for the quarter she'd put in her pocket and used a phone booth on the corner. “Have a good time,” said her aunt again.

Theo felt so guilty that her legs quivered as she crossed Dallas Road. But as soon as she set out along
the path beside the sea, she forgot about Sharon.

It was a bright March day. Early daffodils blew in the long grass beside the pond where kids and old men were sailing model boats. Below the cliffs the waves were wild, as if they were as excited as Theo. This was the first time she'd been alone since she'd arrived.

People smiled at her as they passed with their dogs and kids and bicycles. The cliff path was so familiar that Theo felt as if John and Anna and Lisbeth and Ben were walking beside her. The Kaldors aren't
real
she reminded herself, but today she couldn't believe that they had only existed in her dream.

When she got near the cemetery, Theo's heart started pounding. She sat on a bench by the path and ate her apple, trying to calm down. Then she walked up the road until she reached one of the openings in the holly hedge.

The cemetery was exactly as it had been in the dream: a patchwork of rectangular mossy plots with towering trees above them. Theo even found the stone angel. This was where she'd spent some of her happiest times; but it was also where the wonderful dream had started to fade. She ate the rest of her lunch there, gazing up at the angel's serene face to give her courage. She knew where she was going next.

Standing up, she followed another walkway that led back to the upper part of the road. She kept her eyes down, afraid of the disappointment of not seeing the row of white houses across the street.

But when she finally looked up—they were there! Three neat houses almost alike, the highest one the house where she'd been so happy.

Theo's legs turned to rubber and she had to sit down on the grass. How could this be? It might make sense that she'd dreamt about streets and a path by the sea and a cemetery that she saw when she was little and somehow remembered. It might even make sense that she'd found the angel—maybe she saw that when she was little, too. Could she have once seen these houses as well?

Theo's body seemed to take over, making her stand up and walk on trembling legs across the road and up the sidewalk she knew so well. Her disbelieving eyes drank in the house near the top of the hill—its windows lined with orange and green, the design like a sunray where the roof peaked, the glimpse of the arbutus tree in the back. Her legs walked her up the same green steps and paused in front of the familiar brown door.

I
can't
! she cried inside. It was just a dream! But her shaking hand reached up and knocked on the door—first timidly, then louder.

The door opened slowly. A small boy stood there, holding a cookie. He was barefoot and his T-shirt had a dinosaur on it. Theo had seen that T-shirt many times.

“Ben?” she croaked. Then her voice and head cleared. “Ben, oh Benny,” she cried. “It's me! I've come back!”

“Who are you?” asked the child.

T
HEO COLLAPSED
into a puddle of arms and legs on the front doorstep. The next thing she knew she was being carried into the house by the same person who had once carried her in from the car after a late movie—Dad.

He laid her on the living-room couch while the others gathered around. Theo blinked as they came into focus: Dad and Mum, John and Anna, Lisbeth and Ben. Bingo licked her face and whined. Beardsley hopped onto the arm of the couch and switched his tail while he watched her.

Mum wiped Theo's forehead with a cool wet cloth and kept asking if she were all right. But she didn't call her Theo. The family gazed at her with curiosity—as if they were looking at a stranger.

“What's your name?” Mum asked, as Theo sat up and Anna handed her a glass of water.

“It's me—Theo!”

Six puzzled faces stared at her. “Theo who?” Dad asked gently.

Theo felt like crying—they didn't remember her! This was as bad as when she had started to fade. No, worse—they could see her, but they didn't know her! “Caffrey,” she whispered.

“Where do you live? Why did you come to our door?” demanded Lisbeth.

Theo winced at her blunt words. If she really was a stranger to them she'd better be careful. She thought fast. “I—I live with my aunt in James Bay. I was walking up the street and I—I felt dizzy, so I stopped at your house for help.”

“But why are you on your own?” asked Dad. “Does your aunt know where you are?”

Theo was too stunned to lie. She shook her head. “I went for a walk by myself, but she thinks I'm at my friend's. She's going to be really upset with me.”

The children looked sympathetic and Bingo licked her face.

“I think she'll just be relieved to know you're all right,” said Mum. “What's your phone number, Theo? I'll phone your aunt and tell her we'll bring you home. On the way we'll take you to the clinic up the street and have them check to see that you're really all right.”

Theo whispered her number to Mum then sank back against the cushions. Dad introduced everyone and she tried to pretend this was the first time she'd heard their names. “And I'm Dan and my wife is Laura,” he finished. Theo tried not to think of them as Dad and Mum.

Laura came back into the living-room. “Your Aunt Sharon is shocked of course, but she's not angry at you, Theo. Let's get you into the car—can you walk?”

Theo struggled to her feet and let them help her into the car. They all wanted to come, but only Laura and Anna took her to the clinic. A doctor prodded her and took her pulse. “You're fine,” she said. “Just take it easy for the rest of the day. Sometimes people faint for no reason. If it happens again, though, be sure to go to your own doctor, all right?”

“All right,” whispered Theo.

Anna was as friendly as she had been when Theo had first met her on the ferry. “How long have you lived in Victoria? What school do you go to?” she asked on the way to Sharon's.

Theo answered in spurts, still shocked that Anna didn't know her.

They both walked her into the apartment. “Oh, Theo!” cried Sharon, forgetting her cold and kissing her many times. “
Thank
you,” she told Laura fervently. “I don't know what made her do such a thing. She's usually so well behaved!”

Laura smiled. “You can't always predict
what
they'll do. Believe me, I know—I have four!”

“Won't you stay and have coffee?” asked Sharon. She'd got dressed and tidied away all the tissues and glasses.

She and Laura sat on the couch while Laura told Sharon what the doctor had said. Theo and Anna sat on the rug nibbling cookies.

Theo couldn't speak, but Anna whispered, “Aren't grown-ups boring? I think it was really brave of you to go somewhere on your own. Once my older brother and I sneaked out at night and played in the cemetery! It was really spooky. We got back without being caught and no one ever found out!”

She tossed back her shining cap of hair and gave the same rich laugh she had always had. A thrill went through Theo. It was awful that Anna didn't remember her, but she was
Anna
—she really existed!

“What are you two muttering about?” smiled Laura. “I think we'd better go, Anna. I hope you'll be all right, now, Theo. It was nice to meet you, Sharon.” She shook hands with both of them and they left, Anna winking at Theo over her shoulder.

Theo almost ran after them. “Don't go!” she wanted to call. “I've just found you again!” She stood in the doorway until Sharon's voice made her turn around.

Sharon was quivering. Theo braced herself; would her aunt hit her?

But instead of being angry Sharon broke into sobs. “Oh, Theo honey, what a bad scare you gave me! I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you!” Her face was red and swollen with tears and her cold. “How could you lie to me like that? I thought we were friends!”

It was hard to focus on Sharon when Theo's whole being was concentrated on the Kaldors. But her aunt looked so baffled and hurt, she took her hand. “I'm sorry. I just wanted to go for a walk on my own and I thought you wouldn't let me.”

“Of course I wouldn't let you! Look what happened!”

“I'll never do it again,” said Theo. “I promise. And I'll never lie again, either.”

“I hope not.” Sharon stiffened. “Mary Rae was always lying to our parents. I hope you're not going to take after her.”

“I'm not! I'm
nothing
like her!”

“Of course you aren't, hon. You're just yourself.” Sharon blew her nose and smiled weakly. “You're an odd
kid, though. Mary Rae warned me about that. Why would you
want
to go for a walk all by yourself?”

When Theo didn't answer, Sharon hugged her. “I think we both need to lie down. On Monday I'm taking you to my doctor for a complete physical. We won't talk about this again, Theo. I hope you've realized what can happen when you do something so foolish.”

Theo escaped to her bed. She lay on her back, staring at the sun that turned the drawn blind a glowing yellow. Her mind danced with all that happened and she kicked up her feet with excitement.

Her time living with the Kaldors
hadn't
been a dream! They really existed!

That meant it must have been magic after all. Somehow her new-moon wish had come true. She had spent all that happy time with the family in the sort of magic adventure that happened in books. Then, for some reason, the magic had ended and she'd been back on the ferry again at the same moment she'd left.

It was just like a story; rather like time-travel stories she'd read, except she'd gone sideways in time, not backwards. Stories were more complete, however, and they gave reasons for the magic.

Theo didn't care. She hugged herself. It had happened after all—she had once belonged to the Kaldors, in some kind of strange fantasy that had ended with no explanation. But now she'd found them again.

The trouble was, they didn't remember her. Were the children just pretending not to know her in front of their
parents? Was it part of the magic that only
Theo
could remember?

She pondered her family in greedy detail. Lisbeth had lost a tooth and Anna had had her hair cut. John was taller. She had been with them such a short while, she hadn't had time to notice other things or to talk to them, except to Anna.

Somehow she had to see them again. Then she would
make
them remember and everything would be as perfect as it had been before.

15

T
he next morning Theo received a phone call.

“Theo?” said an eager voice. “This is Anna Kaldor, the person you met yesterday? How are you feeling?”

Theo's voice shook. “Fine.”

“We were wondering if you'd like to come over this afternoon.”

“Oh! I—I
would
! Just a minute, I'll ask my aunt.”

After Sharon, too, asked Theo how she was feeling, she said it was okay. Theo listened to Anna telling her what time to come. She could barely squeak a goodbye.

“It's nice of them to ask,” said Sharon. “Are you sure you want to?”

“Yes, yes,
yes
!” cried Theo, dancing around the kitchen.

Sharon looked surprised. “You're usually so shy! And you've only just met them. But Anna looked like a nice girl and I liked Laura—she seems so serene, somehow. Did you say she was an artist?”