Awake at Dawn (17 page)

“You were the one who got me thinking about it.”

“Thinking about what, Mom?” Kylie asked, sensing her mom’s excitement.

“A ghost hunt. Remember, you mentioned the falls being haunted at the camp?”

“A ghost hunt?” Kylie couldn’t believe her ears.

“It’s a dinner at a reputedly haunted B&B and then they take us on a tour. Isn’t that totally cool?”

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Kylie dropped back on her pillow and now she really wanted to cry.

“Yeah. Totally…”
not
“… cool.”

* * *

“How he feels doesn’t matter. I didn’t share that with you to tell anyone else,”
Holiday had said.

“I’m sorry. I am,”
Kylie had said.
“And I know it was wrong, but I
think … I mean, it’s almost as if you’re letting what your fiancé did to
you stop you from seeing the possibilities with Burnett. You’re punishing
him for something that he didn’t do.”
You’re punishing him for something that he didn’t do.

You’re punishing him for something that he didn’t do.

Then her mind completely skipped to the argument she’d had with Derek.

“It’s always about sex, isn’t it?”
she had said.

“No. I wasn’t talking about that,”
he had countered.

Kylie recalled all the anger welling up inside at that moment. Bottled-up anger, leftover anger. Anger she’d felt toward … Trey.

You’re punishing him for something that he didn’t do.

“Oh, shit!” She sat up. Had she done the same thing she’d accused Holiday of doing? The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Derek had never, not even once, pressured her about sex. His statement about her pulling away had everything to do with her dodging him.

Not about her getting naked.

Then a bit of her mom’s dialogue came into play.
“We all make mistakes. You just need to apologize.”
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Mom was right. Which Kylie realized was another thing she never thought she’d ever catch herself thinking where her mom was concerned.

But damn it, her mom was right. Kylie needed to apologize. Standing up, she shucked off her nightshirt and slipped back into her too-short jeans, her too-tight bra, too-tight tennis shoes, and a T-shirt, then went to find Derek.

* * *

She started to head toward the dining hall and then stopped. Derek generally left the nighttime events early to call his mom. Not that he told everyone what he was doing. But he’d confided in her.

Warmth filled her chest. She liked that he’d confided in her. Oh, heck, she really, really liked Derek, and with all her heart, she hoped he’d accept her apology. Because she didn’t want to go into what she had to say around super-hearing individuals, she headed toward his cabin. She set her pace at a slow run, which only a couple of weeks ago would have been amazingly fast for her. As she moved, she felt the trees hovering above.

She felt the wind stir her hair. She caught a glimpse of the bright stars, but she didn’t care too much about the scenery. Instead she concentrated on what she would tell Derek when she saw him.

Halfway there, the feeling hit. The feeling as if someone was watching her. She slowed her pace and listened. The night was still chirping, there was no dead or unnatural silence, but she still felt it. Glancing from right to left to the edges of the woods, she checked to see if the wolf was back.

There were no golden eyes peering back at her from the brush. She tried to convince herself it was nothing, but she picked up her pace, eager to find Derek—eager to have Derek’s solid, bigger frame beside her.

His arms around her.

Her head on his shoulder.

Maybe his mouth melting against hers.

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Oh yeah, thinking about Derek chased away her fears.

She made that last turn down the trail and saw there were lights on in his cabin. Someone was there. “Please let it be him.” She made it another hundred feet when she noticed that his cabin’s front door was open. That was a little odd. When she got up the porch steps, she noted the smell. The ripe berry scent. She hadn’t yet defined the aroma when her tennis shoe hit a slick spot and she went down.

Plopping down on her butt, she pressed her palm against the porch to lift up. But the sensation of something wet and thick beneath her palm gave her pause.

That’s when she recognized the sweet berry scent.

Blood.

Her gaze shot to the porch.

A lot of blood.

The rectangle of light pouring from the doorway caught her attention and Kylie saw it. Dark red droplets led the way into the cabin like bread-crumbs in the forest.

Her heart stopped.

Oh, God. “Derek!” she screamed his name, but no answer bounced back.

She lunged to her feet and ran into the cabin, screaming his name over and over.

“Derek?” Her heart pounded. She followed the trail of blood, through the living room, down the hall. It led to a closed door. She grabbed the knob.

Locked.

She heard a noise on the other side. “Derek?” she yelled. Again no answer.

Not thinking, driven by raw panic, she took a couple of steps back and rammed the door with her shoulder. Part of the door ripped off with the hinges; the other part splintered into two or three pieces and crashed on the bathroom floor. She crashed on top of it. Facedown.

That’s when she realized the noise she’d heard behind the closed door had been the shower. That’s when she saw a very naked and very wet Derek yank back the shower curtain.

His body was hard, corded with muscle. Defensiveness glinted in his eyes and his posture. He looked prepared to take on an intruder.

Which would be her, by the way.

He stared at her sprawled on top of the splintered piece of his bathroom door. She stared at him … naked with the shower curtain still clutched in his fist.

“Uh, I … I saw blood and thought…”
What had she thought?
Rogue vampire, ax murderer, serial killer on the loose. She hadn’t put a villain in her fears. Her concern had just been for Derek’s safety.

“You knocked the door down.” Disbelief rang in his matter-of-fact tone.

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“I know,” she answered, unable to say anything else. Unable to look away from his body.

“But it’s solid oak.”

“I know.” She felt the solid oak beneath her and was a little shocked that she’d done it, too. If it mattered at all, her shoulder felt a little bruised. And it was the slight pain that brought some reality back into the moment.

“You don’t have any clothes on.” Oh, God, did she really say that?

“I know. I usually shower that way.”

Her face began to burn.

When he didn’t seem to worry about his lack of clothes, Kylie decided that maybe it was her place to worry. After all, she had been the one to storm into his bathroom and break down his door while he’d been showering.

She turned her back on him. A totally useless, unproductive move. It didn’t stop her from seeing him. The mirror hung over the low counter, which she now faced, offered her the same view.

A really awesome view, too. She’d seen naked men in the movies.

Well, almost naked. And she’d seen naked statues. Beautifully posed, carved-in-stone statues that left nothing to the imagination. In person was definitely better. Oh, goodness, he looked good wet and without his clothes on.

Then she realized that while she’d been enjoying the view, he’d been watching her enjoying it. His gaze from the mirror locked with hers. That rush of blood returned to her face. She glanced away from his reflection in the mirror to her shoes just as he grabbed for a towel.

That’s when she decided to explain again. “I … I saw blood and I panicked.”

“Yeah,” he answered. “Chris gave me a bloody nose when he elbowed me in the face playing basketball.”

She looked up to the mirror to check out his face. “How bad was it?” 144/375

“Just a bloody nose.” Holding the towel around his waist, he reached for his jeans on the floor, and then he met her gaze back in the mirror.

“I’m gonna put on some pants. So you might want to look down again.” She did, and she blushed again, too. Only when she heard the zipper did she look up. He stood closer, right over her in fact, holding out his hand to help her up. She took it.

“Are you okay?” he asked as soon as she came to her feet.

She rubbed her shoulder. “Just a little bruised.”

“I would imagine.”

She saw him look back at the door. “I’ll tell Holiday I did it,” she said.

“It’s okay.” He picked up a piece of the wood and tried to bend it.

When it didn’t move, he looked back at her. Then he reached out and touched her arm and his touch shifted slowly up to her elbow.

His touch felt warm and moist, much like the air in the bathroom.

Tingles climbed up her arm and filled her chest. Her gaze went to his broad shoulders and she wanted to kiss him there, in the place where she had rested her head so often.

“You’re still warm,” he said. “Normally, a vampire doesn’t gain strength until after they’ve turned.”

Disappointment shattered the mood. His reason for touching her had been to check her body temperature, not because … because he just felt compelled to do it, the way she felt compelled to touch him.

“I think that’s the problem,” she said. “I’m not normal.” She bit down on her lip and then decided to just tell him. “Holiday said … she said some

female

werewolves

have”—she

glanced

down

at

her

breasts—“growth spurts around this age.”

“So she thinks you’re werewolf?” he asked.

“No, not really. She said that … nothing else seems to point to werewolf. So we’re back at square one.”

145/375

“Sorry,” he said. “I know you want to figure it out.” He ran a hand up her elbow again, and this time she knew it wasn’t to check for temperature. The tingles and mood came back.

Letting go of a deep sigh, she met his beautiful green eyes. “That’s why I came here.”

“What’s why you came here?” he asked. He moved out of the bathroom and to the first door on the right. She followed him and stopped when she realized it was his bedroom. She watched him grab a shirt from his closet. He held it to his flat stomach but didn’t put it on. She had the craziest feeling that he’d left it off because he knew she enjoyed looking at him. He stepped closer to her. “Why did you come here?”
Focus. Focus. Quit thinking about his body.
“To tell you I’m sorry. For being such a bitch this afternoon. I was … confused. I mean, Trey … He did me wrong and when you said what you did, I just jumped back to what Trey did. What he did really hurt me, and I think I just projected it all on to you.”

He pulled her against him and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was hot, passionate, and she didn’t want it to end. And when it did, he was the one who pulled away, not her. She was happy, however, to see his breath was as uneven as hers.

“The answer is yes.” Derek’s lips were moist and still so close to hers that she felt the words whisper across her cheek.

“I’m … I’m not sure what the question is,” Kylie said, thinking she’d missed something because she was drunk off his kisses.

“The last thing you asked me this afternoon was if I wanted sex. I want to make myself clear. I want you. I want you so badly that sometimes it’s all I can think about. Some nights I wake up and I’m so…” He bit back his words and let go of another deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is while I want you really badly, the last thing I’d try to do is pressure you into doing something that doesn’t feel right.” 146/375

“It does feel right.” She placed her hand on his chest. And oh my, did it feel right to touch his bare chest. The temptation to ask him to do it, to pull her over to the bed and teach her all about sex, was almost overpowering. However, there was still something that held her back.

“Or at least mostly right.” She pulled her hand from his bare skin. “I think I just need to figure out who I am first.” She stared at his chest, afraid if she looked him in the eyes, she’d turned candy apple red again.

Unfortunately, he raised his hand and tilted her head back and forced her to look at him.

“I know who you are, Kylie. You’re warm, funny, and beautiful. You are so good to everyone, everyone likes you. And you’ve got tons of spunk.

I really like spunk.”

“I mean
what
I am,” she corrected, feeling his fingers brushing against her neck.

“
What
you are doesn’t matter. Because what you are isn’t going to change
who
you are.” He dropped his hand from her chin. “And I’m not saying this to rush you to have sex. I just want you … I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I wish you could see how special you are. And I don’t care what you turn out to be.”

Tears prickled her eyes and she wrapped her arm around his naked torso and pressed her cheek against his warm wall of chest that smelled clean, soapy, and moist. “You’re the one who’s special,” she whispered.

“Nope,” he answered, and chuckled. “If I was special I wouldn’t be thinking about how I could change your mind about having sex right now. So let’s get out of this room before I decide to tackle you on my bed.”

She laughed and looked up into his eyes.

He smiled and ran his hand up under her shirt and to her bare back where he cupped his hand in the curve of her naked waist. “That whole breaking the door down was really a turn-on.” 147/375

“And not the fact that you were naked?” Had she said that? Instantly, she wished the floor would swallow her up.

“Nope, it was definitely the door thing. Now if you’d been naked…” He let go of a deep gulp of air. “Okay, we’d better quit talking about this.” He pulled away from her, caught her hand, and tugged her out of his bedroom.