Awake (7 page)

He took my hand, squeezing a little harder than usual. “Don’t worry about it. Perhaps they are memories or nothing at all but right now we should focus on you healing. I thought you would want something ‘decent’ to eat,” he said, handing me a packet of Oreos.

I took them and stroked the pack. “Thank you! Do you have any idea how much hospital food sucks?”

He turned his nose up. “I can imagine. Do you know when you will be discharged yet?”

“No, but it’ll probably be a day or two. Bet I’m all better right for the start of the school term,” I said, turning my nose up. “Evelyn!”

Noah looked at me like I was crazy. “Pardon?”

“Evelyn. That’s what the girl in my dream was called. The one Jeremy was chasing.”

“Are you sure you feel alright?”

“Yeah. That has to mean something, right?”

“Not really, Scarlett.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Alright, you’ve just been knocked out for a day, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be stressing yourself out over a dream.”

“Dream
s
. There were a few and apart from the one where Mum was brushing my hair, Jeremy was in most. Who’s Evelyn, though?”

He shrugged.

“She was younger than Jeremy, probably younger than me, too.”

“They were dreams.”

But where they? They seemed like more. I wasn’t fully asleep when I had them but not fully awake either. Something wasn’t right.

“They seemed more like memories.” His eyebrow rose subtly. “Look, I know you think I’m crazy right now but what if I’m not?”

“About what, Scarlett? About Jeremy chasing a girl? He probably did. You’ve probably seen a room full of candles and had your mum brush your hair. I don’t doubt you, but you’ve had head trauma and as you were waking up you were piecing back together who you are and what happened. Things got muddled and you’re confused.”

“Right, but these things were from before I lost my memory.”

“How old were you in the dreams?”

“I don’t know. Young. No, three. I was three and it was almost my birthday. I think.”

“You think? So you could have been six and half dreaming/half trying to remember what was going on.”

I frowned. That was a possibility but I thought I remembered it being my birthday coming up. Was it a birthday? “I wish you weren’t so cynical.”

Turning more towards me, he grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be. It’s just that… Scarlett, you almost
died
. You’re hurt and right now you’re stressing over dreams. I would rather you focus on figuring out what your dreams mean once you’re better.” He swallowed. “I thought I’d never see you again, and I want you to be okay.”

He was right. Even if they were memories of before the fire they were still silly little memories that didn’t mean much. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, not really. Not that I could remember properly now anyway.

“Yeah, sorry. I thought it might be the start of getting those years back.”

He groaned. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be insensitive. I just need you to be alright.”

“I’m okay.” I zipped my mouth. “No more dream talk. What have you been up to while I was out of it?”

“Waiting for you to wake up. Worrying that you wouldn’t. Snapping at everyone. Then there was more waiting and more worrying.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise for being in an accident.”

“Right, sorry.”

We both laughed at the same time and he leant back against my pillows. “My dad was released.”

“Yes, I’ve seen them. That’s good news. You were the one who came off worse.”

“I know. Jeremy barely has a scratch on him, thankfully. Guess I’m a good pillow, huh!”

Noah frowned.

“Too soon?” I asked and he nodded.

I was glad that I was able to save my brother from the impact. I didn’t want him to be hurt.

“What’re we doing for the rest of break then?”

He shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

“Movies? Hanging out with the guys. The usual.”

“Sounds good. When you are better, though.”

I saluted and he smiled so wide it made me laugh.

Noah held his hand up and shook his head. “Alright, that’s it, you need to sleep.”

“You think I’ll dream more if I do?”

He leant forward and placed a kiss on my lips. “Sleep, Scarlett.”

Once Noah left, I drifted in and out of a very light sleep. Just when I would nod off I’d see the flicker of the flames,
feel
the heat, hear a woman’s voice that wasn’t my mum’s, and I would see Evelyn. She was so young and so pretty. I felt her eyes on me, as she ran past with Jeremy she watched me, it was only for the briefest second but that one small glance stirred familiarity and it wasn’t something I could forget.

Noah

“HOW IS SHE?”
Jeremy asked the second I closed the door to her room. Scarlett had fallen sleep soon after I told her to rest. Her recovery was far more important than anything else. She was starting to remember pieces, which scared and excited me. But I was concerned that she would remember suddenly. We didn’t want that. There was too much time left. If she found out the truth now, she would never come with me.

“Acting strange,” I replied.

“She’s always weird.”

I sat down next to him on the seats opposite Scarlett’s room. “Alright then, more strange. She kept talking about some dreams she had. In Scarlett’s head, you chase girls.” I smirked at him. “I won’t tell Amie.” He rolled his eyes. “Do you know someone called Evelyn?”

Jeremy froze. “Evelyn?”

He knew her.

“Yes, that’s the name Scarlett gave. Do you know her?”

After a pause, he replied, “Not really. Scarlett had a doll called Evelyn when she was really little. I think that was its name anyway. It was lost in the fire.”

I laughed on cue. “So you chase girl dolls in her dreams.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“She was talking about her like she was a person, though.”

“You said yourself that she’s strange.”

“Right,” I replied, nodding. “She just seemed upset over it so I thought I should ask. She must remember the doll and her mind created a person.”

“Yep,” he replied, his posture visibly stiffening in front of me. He was worried.

“She okay in there alone?”

“Yes. She’s sleeping.”

“Good. Look, I’m going back down to meet the folks, they’re getting even more magazines for her.”

I stood up. “Sure. I need to get home anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Tell her I’ll call later?”

“Will do. Later, Noah.”

“Bye, Jeremy.”

I walked out of the hospital feeling about twenty pounds lighter now I knew she was alright. But I was left with an uneasy sense of relief that she was remembering.

My dad was waiting for me in the car park. “Hi,” I said as I got in.

“Is she alright?”

“Yes, she’s fine. She’s awake and her usual self.”

I should tell him about her memories. It was a big deal and something Eternal Light would
need
to know, but the image of her eyes fluttering up at me and her face breaking into a smile stopped me. I told myself that it didn’t really matter because she was confused and remembered very little. They could be passed off as dreams for now.

“Thank goodness,” he said and breathed a sigh of relief. “We wanted to stay all day with you but thought that might look strange.”

“Yes, that’s fine. I was alright and it gave me plenty of opportunity to watch Jonathan and Marissa.” They played the concerned parents so well. Of course, I understood that they’d brought her up since she was four and as far as they were concerned they were her parents but they knew better. They were lying to hospital staff, giving false information and had fake identification for Scarlett, yet they were still so calm.

“And?”

I shrugged. “Nothing out of the ordinary. You would never know they weren’t her parents. They seem to love her the same as Jeremy.”

“They are not her parents,” Dad said.

“I know.”

He shook his head, frowning. “I’m sorry, Noah. Being out here puts me on edge. I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I. It’s hard to keep up with the pretence every single day, but it will be worth it.”

“It will, son. I’m proud of you, you know? I was unsure to begin with. Not that I didn’t think you could do this but it is a big ask, and I know you are a good person. You hate dishonesty and Jonathan, Marissa and Jeremy are lying to Scarlett every day. But you have really come through, and it won’t be long until we are home with her and can get back to normal. Nothing about the way people live out here is normal. Absolutely nothing.”

I’d started to doubt that. But I couldn’t say that to my father. “You’re right,” I replied, only half lying.

There were certain things, sure. People called themselves free when they were governed and bound by so many laws. They worked forty hours a week plus and most still struggled, gave up a portion of their money, and followed what society expected. That was the furthest thing from being free but they still went on fooling themselves. They believed they had a voice but they didn’t use it past voting for someone they knew was lying to them anyway. It made absolutely no sense. Democracy. Freedom. Bullshit.

It was beyond stupid the amount of rubbish people fed
themselves
, but they valued human life in a way that Eternal Life did not. Scarlett would be protected out here. I couldn’t help question my own attitude to human life. If I were successful, Scarlett wouldn’t be safe. I would be hurting her, allowing Eternal Light to hurt her.

How was I going to watch Donald drive a knife through her chest?

Scarlett

AFTER JUST TWO
days in hospital, I was allowed home. Besides being tired and having a lingering headache, I felt fine. Dad and I had been on the sofa since, lying under fluffy blankets and under strict orders not to move. Throughout the morning, I’d been drifting in and out of short naps, resting my tired body.

Startled, I woke abruptly, the explosion thundered through my unconscious mind. My heart raced. I was hot all over, sweat beaded at the back of my neck. The dream was so real I expected the house to be in flames.

Mum and Dad were talking to each other, unaware that I’d woke. I gulped and pushed myself up. They looked up as I forced myself to calm down.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I nodded.

“Missa,” Dad said, using his pet name for Mum.

“Yes, honey,” she replied, smirking.

“Can you pass the remote, please? I’d get it myself but…”

“Of course.”

I shook my head. He was loving being the patient. I was climbing the walls. Dad was completely fine now, and I gave it a day before Mum refused to do anything for him anymore. Lying around and sleeping would have suited me fine before the nightmares started.

“Do you need anything, Scarlett?” Mum asked once she’d given Dad the remote.

All I needed was my heart to return to its normal rate. “I’m good. Think I can go out tomorrow? Just to Noah’s.”

She tilted her head to the side, and I knew the answer was no. “Sweetheart, you’ve just got home from the
hospital
. You were in and out of unconsciousness for a whole day.”

“So, that’s a no, huh?”

“It’s a no,” she confirmed. “Noah’s welcome here. You know that.”

It wasn’t just seeing Noah; it was getting out for a bit. I’d been cooped up inside a hospital room and now my house. I missed the outside. I wanted to sit in the new hammock in Noah’s garden and get some fresh air. They were outdoors people and I wanted that for a while.

My eyes slid over a photo of Jeremy when he was about seven or eight. He had a big, front toothless smile. My mind instantly conjured the image of Evelyn. I saw them in my head, running around together. I blinked and looked away but her eyes followed me, looking directly into mine as she whizzed past me with Jer.

“Yeah. Thanks,” I said, trying to shove thoughts of Evelyn out of my mind. “I’ll text him now.” I fired off a message asking if Noah wanted to come over and turned back to Mum. My skin still felt itchy hot like it had when the explosion in my dream went off. “Can I talk to you about my dreams?”