AWAKENING (13 page)

Alfonzo’s lip curled in distaste. So, the fucker sent presents, how nice.
He wondered if she were seeing him on the side. If she were they must meet in private because Nico was banned from the property. Yes, he’d given her the house but was damned if that bastard and his ex-wife were going to have sex
under the same roof as his children
, again
. I
f they were hooking up, he wondered why none of the bodyguards mentioned it, then again Selange was slick. If she duped him
before
, heck
fooling the guards was a breeze.

She attempted to change the subject, “So, ho
w are
you
doing?”

“I’m okay,
y
tú
?”
He
saw she was trying and decided he’d do the same. He
walked into the
kitchen as
she poured
the
fresh brew
in
his
cup
and waited
.

She frowned,
Angelina was colicky, waking up three and four times during the night
and s
he had no one to complain to
. She felt
exhausted
and overwhelmed at times.
With Sal and Aldonza, Alfonzo was there doing his part and this time around she was doing it al
one
.
A single mother and a lonely woman.
Ugh, she would never share these thoughts with Alfonzo, he’d probably gloat. After-all, she’d made the decision and now she
must
live with her choice
–and frankly, she wouldn’t change it. She loved Angelina and Vincent. Losing Alfonzo, well that was her sacrifice.
She turned and gave him the cup. Hiring another
domestic worker did
allow
Anita
to help out with the children more
, it
was a
life-saver.
She had her ex-husband of all people to thank for this.
“
Better.
T
hanks for the extra help.”

“You’re welcome.” He took a sip of coffee
, “Um –damn I needed that!”

“Late nights?”
She asked, leaning against the counter.

“You can say that.” He took another sip to avoid saying more. His eyes didn’t stray from her face. She had a sharp eyebrow
raised like she suspected his activities didn’t involve work.

There was an uncomfortable silence until she commented, “When the children are over I hope your guests are not there.”

This remark stung like acid. “But I’m not married and any
guest
I have are welcome to spend the night. I don’t need to sneak around
like
some people.
”

She blinked as if slapped
.
She turned her back
to
wash the spoon
in the sink and
sighed, “Yeah, of course you’re still angry
.”
She held onto the
counter
and shook her head in exasperation, “I’m done.” She spun around and her eyes were brilliant specks of
flashing
lights
, “I’m sorry I hurt you. Alfonzo, you’ve made your point, I get it
, come on for
the sake of our children can’t we be decent to each other?”

He considered it, “What’s decent, pretending you weren’t fucking around behind my back? Seems you and Nico are finding a way to continue sneaking around. What I don’t get is why
he
hasn’t
stepped up, asked you to marry him if he cared so much about you?” He sneered, “We’re divorced,
and you
can do whatever you want now.”

The brilliant lights died; she inhaled so sharply it made a
high pitched sound
. The hazel eyes were aqueous
and h
er lip trembled
. Whatever he said struck a blow. He saw her spirit crush to nothing and felt instant regret. She ducked her head
in misery
and attempted t
o walk around him. He quickly sat the cup on the counter and caught her arm and stopped
the retreat.
“
Hold on, y
ou don’t get to run
. You were big on the truth the other night, well here
it is
. I’m doing the best I can under the
circumstances
. This is hard for me
, especially c
oming here and seeing you and the babies. Why
can’t
you realize that?”

“I do, but what do you
want
me to do, become invisible
? I’m trying to go forward and you
’re
dragging me back.”
He released her arm.
“We can
fight about everything or work together to raise our children. I don’t want to fight with you Alfonzo. I know you’re angry but can’t you see the kids are more important than us?”
She searched his eyes, “I know you love the
m
and w
e
’re
both
trying to look out for their best interests so they won’t become
scarred by our mistakes. Can’t we put our
issues aside for them
?”

H
e almost laughed at her naiveté
and the ‘
our
mistakes’
. She must’ve meant
her
mistake.
“And Nico, where does he fit in
to
this
working together for the sake of the kids scenario; is he the absentee dad
role
and
I become the substitute parent
who helps to raise
his kids
? Just
how does
it all play out
on the real life stage and not in your fantasy world,
since you’re so eager to
go forward and
focus on the children
, huh
?
”

“
You’re such an asshole!”

“Hey, I’m moving forward, I just wanted to know
what your plan is
. You’re all anxious to let go of the past
but ignore you have to face it before you go forward.
I had my world turned upside down when you and Nico had you’re hot and heavy affair. Vincent’s dead and there’s innocent babies upstairs with a shit of a father. Allie and Sal are caught in this mess
you
made and so
am
I. Deal with facts, mujer and stop pretending shit’s perfect.”

She sighed and touched his arm, it seared his skin.
“Whatever, bad I’ve done,
Alfonzo
,
I’m paying for it, but there’s a point when you can’t keep
punishing
me
. The bad
shouldn’t negate
all of
the good.
Please,
don’t demonize me.
“
S
he put her palm to his chest, “
C
ut me some slack
Alfonzo
,
lower
your emotional
guns
.”

“Are you sleeping with him
,
babe
?”
He sneered.

Her eyes scrunched together
, “What?
Nico, n
o
, we’re done
.”

“
You don’t get it your way anymore. Batting those fucking eyes
, playing innocent with me
and
sweet talking me won’t cut it
, mujer, no mas, get me
?”

Selange sucked in a long breath and he
r
diaphragm
constricted. “I’m tired
.
We could
’ve cleared these issues
in counseling but you didn’t want to. You left and now you’re hammering me to the ground with your anger. Well, I’m tired and I don’t want to do this.
I’m holding up the white flag. I surrender
.
You win,
I made a bad choice. I tore apart my family. I broke my vows. I lied. I hurt you and I’m sorry. Are you happy, will that satisfy you
?
”

“No.” He frowned, “I’m not
happy
.
Can’t you see I’m holding it together by the skin of my
teeth?
Do you have any idea how it feels to get your heart butchered
and snatched
out your chest? That’
s what you
’ve done to me. Happy, what the fuck is that?”

“The children Alfonzo, think about them, don’t think about me anymore. Let me go,
wipe
me
from
your mind if you have to but don’t be this raging person
, our children need their dad
.” She looked at the floor, “It’s killing me…” she shook her head, “I just don’t know what to say to you…that I haven’t already said.”

The harsh ice which formed in his vessels cracked
as he observed her wretchedness. How could he kill her in his mind? He’d tried, nothing worked. Each time he thought he’d gained control over his anger
, it flared and scorched him in a backdraft.
This was one of those times.
The
sad eyes
were
mesmeriz
ing. How do you love somebody and dislike them?

A
sudden urge to taste her sugary lips
appeared
. He
refused to
censure himself, instead he gave in to the impulse, after-all hadn’t she done the same with Nico? His arms circled her
slim waist
and crushed her to his body.
Selange’s s
ad
ness became confusion. Without uttering a word he pressed his
angry
mouth to her shocked lips, forcing the
m
wide to taste the sweetness he was missing. Initially, she stood rigid, then something gave and she relaxed. She sighed, under the emotions building then her arms were raised and her fingers were in his hair. He
gripped her buttocks,
hoist her u
p and maneuvered around the
furnishings
until he had her pinned on the sofa. His mouth sucked
her throat as he pushed
up
her top and
expose
d the breasts he witnessed giving nourishment. He wanted the same and put his mouth on her swollen breast and licked her nipple, remembering how delicious she tasted and hungrily clamped down with the folds of his mouth sucking hard
er.
He wanted more
, angry at her for depriving him of a lifetime of happy
. She moaned and began to push forward, offering herself to him and he planned to take, oh yes he did!

She
clutch
ed
his shirt,
grappling with it, until his mouth came to her lips and she relaxed.
His breathing inc
reased at the sexual awakening. She clumsily fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, working several loose and rubbing his hairless chest. Alfonzo’s hands were between her thighs, rubbing and causing friction
which set her on fire. The torch
ignited and her hands grappled with his trousers
. She wiggled beneath him
and
unhooked his pants
. Her fingers descended and took hold of his throbbing
flesh. Alfonzo’s chest pound a thousand beats per minute and his hands were on the rim of her shorts, perched to yank them down, until he remembered this wasn’t his home anymore and Selange wasn’t his wife and those weren’t his babies upstairs and he
stopped cold.

She gasped when he
withdrew from
her
lips
and
frowned
at the turmoil in his eyes then sighed. She
slid
up on the sofa and tugged her top
back
down. Her eyes seemed to change from light to dark and he chastised himself for leading her on. It wasn’t intentional, it was crazy that gripped him and
he’d suddenly broken free. She
lied,
cheated and tore the family apart
. He nearly succumbed to damnation.
He kneed off the sofa and buckled his belt.
“
Give me a call when the kids are ready and I’ll come back,” he said then
hauled ass out of there
before he lost his
senses. He
thr
e
w
air jab
s
out
side the door
from the
sexual
frustration, “
Come on, s
tick to your guns,
le
ave
it alone.
Y
ou’re divorced. It’s over –plus
s
he’s bad for your heart!”