Away (35 page)

“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly.

I turned my gaze back toward him and lightly shook my head. “Nothing, just stuff.”

“Should I be worried? Is this too much for you?” he asked, sounding concerned that I would bail on him.

“I’m not going to lie to you Jason. It’s a bit much, but you definitely shouldn’t be worried. So, what do you do in here for four hours?”

He let out a heavy sigh and tilted his head, his beautiful green emerald eyes looking so content while he gazed at me. “I think, sometimes I write letters, sometimes I play card games with Colleen. The four hours go by quick.”

“Again with the letters. Who are you writing to?” I asked, curious about his secret pen pal.

“Are you jealous?” he asked as his lips curled up. “You want me to write you a letter?”

“Yes! I’d absolutely love it.”

“And where do I mail this letter to?” he asked as he arched his brow up at me.

“Not sure about the mailing address. How about you just leave it on my suitcase? We can just pretend the mailman dropped it off.” We both laughed at my teasing.

“I can do that,” he said, nodding his head.

“When will I be getting this letter?” I asked him.

“This will be pure torture for you. Not knowing when it will arrive is going to just sit and eat at you isn’t it?”

“You’re a brat,” I sassed.

“You’ll get it soon. I have special plans for your letter.” He winked.

I felt like a little kid waiting for Christmas. It was going to take all the patience I could muster up to not sit and wait for the ‘mailman’ to deliver a letter to my suitcase. It was pure hell what he was doing, but I couldn’t help loving the torture he was putting me through.

A few hours had passed. Like Jason said, time went quickly. As I stretched my arms in the air, an obnoxious beeping startled me. I looked around to find where it was coming from, and I realized it was the dialysis machine.

“Oh my God, your machine is beeping. Jason, what’s going on? Are you okay?” I panicked; I literally panicked. I didn’t know if I could handle something going wrong.

“Relax,” he said calmly. “The machine is just telling me I’m done. There is nothing wrong.” His lips curled to the side in amusement as a chuckle escaped them.

“I do not find this funny in the slightest.”

“You’re right. It’s not funny. It’s cute.” His eyes went from mine over to Colleen who was walking over to Jason.

“How was your first time here, Cassandra?” Colleen turned her head toward me as she waited for my response.

“It was,” I said before pausing, trying to think of the right way to describe what this felt like, “hard at first, but Jason made things okay. He turned something that was scary into a pleasant four hour date.” I looked over at Jason and flashed him a sexy wink. His cheeks blushed in return. I would never get sick of seeing him blush an adorable shade of pink.

“She is everything you said she was,” Colleen said as she finished up with Jason.

“Yeah, I think I’ll keep her,” he said. “You ready?” He looked over at me as he stood up from his chair.

“Sure am,” I answered as I rose and walked over to him. “I got plans for you, Mister.”

He looked over at me with a curious look in eyes. “Oh, you do?”

“Not like that, but yes, I do have plans,” I said, grabbing his hand as we walked out of the hospital. “We are going to take it easy because you get so tired after dialysis.”

“How did you find that out?”

“Your mom told me yesterday. I can remember the moments that I thought something was different with you, and now I know why. You were just tired, and you hid it well, just so you know.”

“It was hard, believe me. I just didn’t want to waste time being tired. I wanted to spend and enjoy every moment that I could with you.”

“I like that answer, Jase. Well, this afternoon, we are going to relax and have a Scrabble rematch. Just the two of us,” I told him. “If I win again though, you realize that means I officially become a Scrabble master.”

His head fell back as he let out a throaty laugh. “We’ll have to see about that.”

We got in his truck and left the hospital. I suddenly realized how my two times going to the emergency room would never compare to the three times a week he had to go for dialysis. I couldn’t believe I even complained about having to go in the first place.

I felt his hand grab mine as we drove toward the house. “Thanks for going today. I mean it too. You’ll never know how much that meant to me, Cassie.” His head turned in my direction, and he had a look on his face that I hadn’t seen before. It was warm and thankful, deep down to his very core. I could feel it as his hand held onto mine so tightly that it seemed he wasn’t ever letting go. I didn’t want him to. My heartstrings pulled tight as the smile stayed on his face once he turned back to the road.

“I’ll be at the next one too. Like I said, I’m in,” I told him, squeezing his hand tighter.

He squeezed my hand with a firm grip. He didn’t have to say anything. I already knew how grateful he was. What he didn’t know was how grateful I was for him.

B
EING
WITH
J
ASON
WAS
EASY
. It was as though the sun was always shining down on us, warming our skin, rain or shine. Everything with him was pure bliss and maybe it was what people referred to as the honeymoon stage, but I honestly didn’t care. Honeymoon stage or not, the affection and feelings we had for one another couldn’t even be classified as a stage. It felt like it was in a category all of its own.

Three days passed so quickly that it seemed as though we were on fast forward. I wanted it to slow down but it wouldn’t. The whirlwind never stopped. Between kicking his ass at Scrabble a few more times (which only made him believe that I was for sure cheating), another dialysis trip full of meaningless but powerful conversation, and sleeping in his arms every night, my world started piecing itself back together. I especially loved the moment when I got Jase to agree to attend college with me in the spring. It took some major convincing on my end, but he finally caved. He planned to take only a couple of classes until he felt comfortable enough with a full schedule. It made me proud that he was taking the leap again. I told him that I’d find him a dialysis center and would be there for him in any way I could be. He could count on me, just like I could count on him. He made sure that I knew without a doubt in my mind that he would be there for the baby and me. Knowing I had his support warmed me over. He felt certain it was a boy and I was positive I would be in all sorts of trouble if he were correct.

My car was finally fixed and, just as Jason said it would once Moose finished, looked completely perfect. She was as good as new, and parked out front of the Bradley’s house. It wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was I. After talking with Trish, Bart, and Jason, we agreed that I would be staying until Jason and I left for college. It was an extremely emotional conversation, but one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. As I said before, these three days were a whirlwind of emotion, love, and happy moments that I would never forget.

It was on day four though when the most magical thing happened. A call came that would change the life of the man who was changing me.

“It’s time.” Jason said as he flipped his phone closed.

“You’re not kidding, are you?” I asked in pure shock and disbelief that it was really happening.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “This is it, Sweetheart. It’s real. I have a kidney waiting for me.”

“Oh my God,” I cried, putting my hands to my face as I tried to keep up with wiping them away, but it wasn’t possible. They streamed like a raging river flowing out of control.

I could see his happy face through the pools flooding in my eyes. He walked over and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. “You’re going to make me cry,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

“I’m sorry.” I bawled into his chest. “I just didn’t think you’d get one so soon.”

“You’re my good luck charm, I guess.” He released his arms from around me and cupped his hands on both sides of my face. “We gotta go, Sweetheart.”

His lips curled into a smile that I would never get tired of seeing. This one, though, was like watching a kid who just received the ultimate birthday gift. It was like the cherry that topped a towering sundae, and he was finally able to dig in.

“Okay,” I replied.

He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes, and then gently pressed his lips to my forehead. I inhaled deeply before we both gathered a few things from his room. He had an overnight bag that he was putting together while I grabbed a few items of my own. I looked over at Jason; he looked completely happy. I couldn’t help but stop what I was doing to watch him. He was calm and relaxed as he carefully placed items in his bag, his lips curled up as far as they could go. He looked up and caught me staring at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just astounded that you aren’t anxious and freaking out right now. I’m so excited that I feel like I’m going to piss my pants or need to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

He zipped his bag shut, set it on the bed, and walking over to me, placed a hand on my cheek. “I’m freaking out inside, Sweetheart,” he said as his eyes stayed focused on mine. “But because I have you here with me, I know that everything is going to be okay. It makes all of this that much easier. You, my pretty girl, are the only thing keeping me from having a full out ‘can’t breathe, can’t move’, heart-stopping panic attack because I’m so nervous. It’s all you, Sweetheart.”

I had no clue how I was helping with any of this. His kidney was the gift, not me. Either way, I couldn’t help but feel his words washing over me, enveloping me, and warming my soul.

“Do you have everything you need?” he asked, his eyes fixed on mine.

“I do.”

“I just need to grab a few more things. I’ll meet you upstairs?”

“Okay,” I answered, still feeling cozy from his words as I grabbed my few items and walked upstairs to wait.

I pulled out my phone and texted Melanie that he had a kidney and we were on our way to the hospital. She responded exactly as I thought she would, wanting to know which hospital to meet us at. I typed Prairie Medical Hospital. Within seconds, she responded that she was leaving and would be there as soon as she could. I put my phone in my purse and waited for Jase. My body was heavy with anxiety as the surrealism of it all set in. He finally got a kidney, but that didn’t take away from what was going to happen today. Receiving an organ was major, life-changing surgery. I started to get more nervous the longer I sat and thought about it. I wasn’t left with a wondering mind long as he came walking upstairs, his bag in tow, and a cowboy hat to complete the ecstatic aura that surrounded him.

“Mom is picking dad up, and they are meeting us down there,” he said as we made our way out the door.

“Perfect. I guess we better go get you a kidney then, huh?”

He didn’t speak, but the way his eyes lit up said it all. We got in the truck and made the hour and a half trip to the hospital.

The hospital was busy, and as chaotic as it was, seemed lonely as I waited for Jason to finish being prepped for surgery. The waiting room had the usual chairs, tables, magazines, and television, but nothing could stop my racing mind as I waited alone.

The time I spent was soon interrupted when I saw Trish and Bart walking out of the elevator with Moose behind them. Relief washed over me as I watched them approach.

“Where is he?” Trish asked as she gave me the type of hug I always wanted, but never got, from my mother. I squeezed her back and told her that Jason was getting prepped and that we would be able to see him shortly.

“Okay, I’m going to see what paperwork I need to fill out. I’ll be right back,” she said in a hurry to get to the medical counter. Everyone was on edge as the nerves started setting in. This moment, even though exciting, was still extremely scary. Surgery was performed all of the time, but it always held its risks, and while I tried to keep on a brave face, inside I was terrified.