Authors: Elda Minger
One night after work, he picked her up and they drove to the local supermarket. It was the week before Thanksgiving and Mel was planning on going home to her parents. Knowing Bubba would be spending the holiday alone – his mother was visiting her sister on the East Coast, his father had simply stopped seeing that much of his son after the separation – she’d asked him to come home with her.
They entered the market with Mel checking and re-checking her list. Bubba grabbed a cart, discarded it because it had a bad wheel and grabbed another. They started down the first aisle.
“Where to first?” He was surprised to find he liked doing little things like this with Mel. He felt a strong streak of protectiveness toward her. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was pregnant with his child. She was such a paradox to him – so strong emotionally, so fragile in other ways. Her moods never ceased to amaze him. But with the info he'd read from one of the doctor’s pamphlets, he knew they would pass soon.
“Cranberries. We’re responsible for the relish.” She was dressed in a pair of corduroy pants and an oversize sweater. Her hair was pulled up off her face in a braid that hung straight down her back like a golden skein.
They were halfway down one aisle when she stopped. Bubba was used to this by now. He knew the reality of her pregnancy was beginning to hit home. He studied her body as she slept, knew her tummy was beginning to swell. You wouldn’t notice it if you weren’t looking for it – but he was.
“Mel? Cranberries?” He crooked his finger at her. “C’mere, you.”
She did, looking as if she were coming out of a slight daze. Then she surprised him, walking straight into his arms, giving him a hug and a kiss and climbing into the metal cart.
“I sense a little babying is in order,” he teased, tugging at her braid as he started to wheel the shopping cart. An older man, studying the labels of various soup cans, turned and stared as Bubba continued to push Mel down the aisle.
She simply reached up and placed her hand over Bubba’s.
* * *
Thanksgiving was nerve-racking. The good news was that Donnie couldn’t make it, the bad was that Sandy’s instincts were working overtime. Bubba suspected she knew something was up.
Mel was a quiet, high-strung nervous wreck. Dinner wasn’t pleasant and Bubba made excuses to leave as soon as they could. Driving back up the 405 North to Santa Monica, they talked.
“How come things were so different when we were kids?” he asked. “Or were my perceptions completely wrong in the first place?”
“I think you liked being with us because it was noisy and things were always going on.” She sighed. “My parents are getting older, Bubba. I see it every time I visit them.”
“Yeah.”
“Daddy looks so tired. After his first heart attack, I don’t know, he never seemed the same.”
“I remember.” Mel had been sixteen. He could still see her pale, tense face at the hospital. He’d come back home to help her family as soon as he’d heard.
“And Mom – she tries so hard to keep everyone together and not fighting. But as all of us got older, I think we just grew different ways.”
“You can grow in different ways and still not lose touch. Relationships change, Mel. Sometimes even for the better.”
“I suppose so. Did you get enough to eat?”
He sensed she was deliberately changing the subject, not wanting to skirt that issue again. She was determined to keep him at bay.
She thinks it’s because she’s pregnant.
He tightened his hand on the steering wheel, frustration making him tense.
I’ll just have to use Henry’s technique – hang around long enough and she won’t be able to get rid of me.
It was small consolation, but it would get him through the next few months.
* * *
Mel’s second trimester changed the way she felt about being pregnant. One morning she woke up and realized her morning sickness had stopped. She felt better, had more energy and wasn’t as moody. Her body seemed to be her own again. But on the other hand, her pregnancy started to show.
Bubba refused to go back home even though she wasn’t sick anymore. He liked to lie in bed with her and explore the new roundness to her tummy. He made her laugh by putting his mouth near her navel and talking to the baby. And he made up a string of ridiculous names.
She knew she should've put a stop to it, made Bubba realize he didn’t have to hang around all the time, but she honestly couldn’t. She enjoyed his company, especially at this time.
“Skip,” he said one morning. They were out on her deck, having a late brunch on a Sunday afternoon. “Skip’s a good name for a prospective surfing champion.”
“That’s a nickname, not a name,” she said calmly, deliberately not looking up from the Calendar section of the
Los Angeles Times.
If she met his eyes, she'd dissolve into laughter.
“Nicknames are important,” Bubba continued. “That baby book said nicknames are a symbol of status. Look at me – I was Bubba all through high school and college.”
She deliberately arched an eyebrow at him. “Exactly. Look at you. I could call you Robert if you’d like.”
“It makes me feel like I’m three hundred years old.”
“Bubba, you’ll never get old.”
Mel found she treasured her time with Bubba. She loved laughing and talking with him. She needed his steady support. Her body was changing as rapidly as her emotions. Before, the idea of their baby had been an abstract concept and her pregnancy simply a state of sickness. Now the baby was a reality to her, frightening in a different way. That same morning before she’d stepped into the shower, she’d studied her body carefully in the full-length mirror.
There’s no turning back now.
She didn’t want to turn back. But it was new, uncharted emotional territory all the same.
When she thought back to what she’d put Bubba through during the first three months of her pregnancy, she couldn’t believe he still wanted to see her face, let alone spend massive amounts of time with her. She woke up many mornings to find him watching her, his hand gently resting on her abdomen.
“How did you ever put up with me?” she asked, pouring him another cup of coffee.
“It was nothing. All in a day’s work.” He gave her a mock-smug look.
“Come on, Bubba! It couldn’t have been fun for you.”
“No, it was in a way. It was strange seeing you veer all over the place and cry all the time. But there are things I remember that were funny.”
“Refresh my memory,” she said dryly.
He took a sip of his coffee. “Remember the night I woke up and you weren’t in bed but I found you crawling to the bathroom along the hall rug?”
She could feel herself starting to blush. “I never – ”
“Do you remember what you said to me when I asked you what you were doing down there?”
“I don’t have the total recall you seem to have. No, I don’t remember.”
He was smiling broadly now. “You said, ‘I have to stay low to the ground because if I die I don’t want to fall down.’”
“Did I really say that?”
“I swear that’s what I heard.”
“I don’t know, those weeks were just kind of all strung together. It was one big daze to me.”
“You were so funny, Mel, when you weren’t crying.”
“I really did cry a lot – I remember that.”
They ate the rest of their breakfast in a comfortable silence. Mel had made blueberry muffins and Bubba had whipped up cheese-and-avocado omelets. It was sunny for the middle of December but a breeze was blowing, so they were both dressed warmly.
“Still up for the beach?” Bubba asked as he drained his third and last cup of coffee.
“You couldn’t keep me away this time of year.”
“I’m going to go over and feed the great white furry whale, then I’ll come back and pick you up. Deal?”
“You’re on.”
After Bubba left, using the path he’d worn by vaulting over the fence that separated their backyards, Mel cleared off the outdoor table and went upstairs to her bedroom.
She packed her beach bag with a towel, sunscreen and the Sunday crossword puzzle before she came back downstairs. The doorbell sounded and she smiled.
So like Bubba, to be impatient to get to the beach.
“Just a second,” she yelled as she ran quickly to her refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of apple juice. Stuffing them into her tote, she took a last glance in the hallway mirror. Faded jeans, running shoes and an intricately patterned Aran sweater made up her outfit. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and she didn’t need makeup. She felt good and it showed.
The bell pealed again and she laughed. “Hold on!” Running to the door, she yanked it open, then felt her stomach drop sickeningly in complete shock.
Donnie. Oh my God.
“Mel, I was in town so I decided – ”
She froze as his gaze took in her thickened waistline, her protruding belly. Slowly, ever so slowly, he surveyed every inch of her body. Then his blue eyes locked with hers. They were the same deep blue as her own but they were glittering in a way she’d seen before and didn’t like.
“So when did you get married” he asked quietly. “No one told me anything about an addition to the family. Who’s the lucky man?” He tone was just the tiniest bit insulting. She suspected he’d summed up the situation for himself.
“Donnie…” Her stomach felt as if it was being shredded to bits but she kept her eyes level with his, refusing to plead or look away.
“Who is he?”
“Donald…” She knew he hated to be called Donald. “Donald, I'm not married.” There. It was out.
“Oh, this is just great!” Without asking whether he could come in or not, Donnie stormed past her. Mel slammed the door after him and followed him into her living room.
“Is this what you meant when you said it was time you lived alone? What have you been doing in this house, Mel? Huh? Are you crazy?”
“Donnie, I had to – ”
“Had to
what
?
Go after anything in pants? Why didn’t you call
me
if the bastard didn’t want to marry you! Can’t you do anything right?”
“Donnie,
that’s enough
!
”
“No,
this is enough
!
” He whirled on her, disgust etched into every facial feature. “Damn it, Mel, I thought you were a responsible adult, but it’s clear to me you’re still a child. Do Mom and Dad know about this?”
“No. They don’t. I was going to tell them when – ”
“You were going to tell them
when
?
Christmas Eve? What a nice little surprise! Well, don’t be too upset if they aren’t exactly ecstatic with joy!”
“Goddamn it, Donnie, will you listen to me – ”
“No. You listen to me and you listen good. You’ve got two days to get the hell out of my house and go home where you belong. Mom can send you to Aunt Katherine and you can stay there until – ”
“Oh my God, you live in your own little world! Donnie, this is
not
the eighteenth century!”
“You can stay there until you have the little bastard, then we can make the necessary arrangements.”
A cold, numbing rage slowly filled her body, making her shake with emotion. A protectiveness she'd never felt before surged through her. He would never come near her child.
“You can’t just walk in here and take over. Get out! Get out right now before I throw you out!”
For a minute he seemed to back off. Then he turned on his heel and marched to her door, flinging it open.
“Mel, don’t even think for one minute I’m going to let you continue this way! Since Dad had his heart attack he hasn’t been able to deal with you, but I want you to know you’ve got me to contend with.”
“You’re my brother, Donald, not my father. Remember that.” He was standing in her doorway and she jabbed her fingers into his chest, poking him, making him step back onto the cement front steps as she slammed the door with a reverberating crash.
“Out in two days! I want you home where you belong this weekend!” he bellowed.
Mel turned around and leaned against the door, still shaking. Arms clasped tightly around her belly, she slid slowly to the floor.
* * *
Bubba glanced up from pouring Henry’s food when he heard the angry pounding. Setting the bag down on the kitchen counter, he jogged quickly into the foyer and pulled open the door.
Donnie walked in without bothering to say hello. “Bubba, who the hell has she been screwing?”
“And hello to you, Donnie.”
“Who is he? What’s the matter with her that she can’t even use any common sense? Or a goddamn condom! I rented her my house so you could keep an eye on her and now she’s knocked up! Some good job you did!”
“Did Mel tell you why she had to get pregnant?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care.”
“Come on, stop behaving like an ass. Sit down and give me five minutes.”
Within three, Bubba was convinced Donnie just didn’t
want
to understand.
“So why couldn’t she find some guy and get married? Why did she have to do it all wrong?”
“She wants to marry for love, Donnie, not just to have a father for her child.”
“Hey, sometimes you don’t get choices in life. Sometimes you have to do what’s
right
.”
“That’s strange, coming from you.”
“Hey, Bubba, you know it’s different for a man. But a girl like Mel – ”
“She’s twenty-six. I wouldn’t call her a girl.”
“She’s my
sister
, Bubba! You don’t know anything about that, so I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your nose out of this!”
“Sorry. Anyway, Donnie,” he said, glancing at this watch and making an effort to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, “It’s been nice seeing you but I have a date and I’m already late.”
“You think this is just fine, don’t you?”
“I think Mel made the choice that was right for her.”
“God, Bubba, you’re turning into a wimp! Next thing you know you’ll be going over there and helping her make booties.”
“Come on, I’ll walk you to the door.”
“I gave her an ultimatum! She has to be out of my house in two days and home by the weekend or I’ll come back and throw her out myself!”