Bachelor Mother (13 page)

Her friend looked so discouraged that Mel almost walked over and gave her a hug. Alicia loved intrigue among people she knew. If she’d had a different type of personality, Mel might have considered confiding in her. But it was simply not to be.

“Did you get his address? I mean, will you send him pictures of the baby when it’s born? Does he want to know whether he has a son or a daughter?”

“He’s married.”

“Oh, Mel!” Alicia looked horrified, but Mel knew she loved hearing every minute detail. “How awful for you!”

“Not really. I mean, I knew exactly what I was getting into to begin with.”

“But to never see him again, to always wonder…”

“It’s okay, Ali. He was really nice about it. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll marry someday. There are plenty of women with children from a first marriage who get married a second time.”

“You’re braver than I am.”

Alicia seemed content with Mel’s story and the two women continued working, cleaning and setting up displays. Mondays usually weren’t busy and Mel was thankful. She needed time to sort out her complicated emotions.

During quiet moments Mel thought back over the weekend. She and Bubba had rarely left her bedroom. If she’d thought the first time they made love had been fulfilling, the weekend had surpassed her wildest imaginings. Bubba had so many moods as a lover – tender and quietly erotic, demanding, playful, inventive. She’d learned there was so much more going on inside him, right below the surface.

She’d carefully resisted pinning any hopes on the weekend. Bubba was acting as a good friend – nothing more. For her to think of another kind of commitment would lead to the end of their friendship. He was a man who played by his own rules, as unorthodox as they were. It was enough that he’d helped her twice, not let her be mauled by Joel/Raoul and agreed to take some part in raising the child.

Would it really be any different than if they’d married and divorced? Most women she knew took sole responsibility for child care in the early years, with fathers only beginning to chip in as the children became more and more independent. Bubba would be her child’s natural father – but still a surrogate. He would fill the void nicely and provide a masculine influence.

Don’t plan too far ahead. You don’t even know if you’re pregnant.

The bell on the door tinkled sweetly and she looked up, ready to smile.

* * *

Bubba stood under the hot shower, letting the water work the stiffness out of his muscles. He’d been working double shifts for the past three days. There were too many things that had to be done and not enough time.

He leaned into the hot spray, sighing as the stinging water began to work the knots out of his back.

Mel.
He hadn’t known what to say Monday morning. It had been an incredible weekend – and not just sexually. He’d never felt closer to another human being. Actually, he’d always felt close to Mel but until now there hadn’t been a sexual dimension to their relationship.

And there probably never would have if she hadn’t been desperate. 
The whole thing confused him. Eight weeks ago, a serious relationship would’ve been the furthest thing from his mind. Now he was contemplating one.

But the craziest thing was he still wasn’t sure about marriage. And fatherhood? That was a whole other ball game.

He stepped out of the shower, knotting a towel around his waist and taking down another to dry his hair. He hadn’t been consciously avoiding Mel, it was just that his business demanded his attention. It was an emotionally loaded issue, his success. His father had wanted him to sell insurance. But being confined behind a desk day after day had seemed to him like a living death. The very thought repelled him.

So he’d started working construction jobs right out of college. He’d taken a business degree thinking that there might be some way he could combine his love of the outdoors with a successful career. If he was making good money then even his father couldn’t get to him.

He and his father had never been close. Bubba had always sensed a distance. Nothing was ever said but he’d felt it, even as a small child.

So he’d worked hard, watched and learned. He never had to be told something twice. Within five years he took out a loan and started his own company. He treated all his men the way he wanted to be treated and it worked. Within a few more years, business was booming.

But it didn’t end there. Bubba took classes in architecture one night a week. His dream was to be able to build environmentally sound buildings that would be affordable for most people, buildings that would blend with the landscape, not neighborhood eyesores. His dream was still a while from being realized, but it was something to reach for.

Now he was considering another sort of dream.

Why was Mel always a part of your life yet you never really looked at her as a woman?

The question puzzled him. At first when she’d confided in him, he hadn’t been able to separate Mel his pal from Melanie the woman. But during the month they’d dated something had changed. He’d made a conscious effort to
look
  at her, to really see her.

And he really liked what he saw.

She was a long-legged, athletic blonde with enough stamina to keep up with him. She’d had to be, to keep up with her brothers. They’d teased her unmercifully. Mel’s only retaliation had been to excel. Tennis, swimming, baseball, basketball – she liked outdoor life as much as he did.

It wasn’t just physical, though. There were qualities in her he’d always taken for granted, never really thought about. The way she listened. It was a talent she had, making a person feel emotionally comfortable enough to open up and reveal himself. She had a sensitive outlook on life, too. Mel was a compassionate woman and he liked that quality as well.

Her slight reserve covered a tremendous wellspring of passion. He’d been partially responsible for what she’d discovered about herself in his darkened bedroom their first night together but she’d taken the lead over the weekend, no longer afraid. As comfortable as she was with her body, it had taken her a little more time to come to terms with her sexuality.

She was everything he’d ever want in a woman – so why the hesitation?

Don’t rush things. Take it slow. You still don’t know everything about her, even though you’ve been friends for so long.
More than anything she still needed his friendship right now. It was going to be rough, having a baby alone. If he’d thought it would help, he would’ve offered marriage. But Mel had the same stubborn streak of independence he possessed. She would look at him with that steady gaze of hers and never believe he’d fallen in love with her in eight weeks.

He didn’t know himself. It was hard switching gears, Mel the buddy to Melanie the woman. He had a responsibility to both of them not to push things, to let things evolve the way they were supposed to.

In the meantime he would simply be there for her.

* * *

The late summer sunshine was blinding as Melanie walked out of the complex of professional buildings in Santa Monica. She concentrated on merely putting one foot in front of the other. If she didn’t, she’d start skipping, dancing along the sidewalk and grabbing the first person in her path. She was so eager to share her news with someone.

Pregnant. You’re pregnant.

Exactly six weeks. She’d held her breath when she’d missed her first period but as she’d never been one hundred percent regular, she hadn’t been sure. Her breasts had been tender but that could be water retention. She’d been tired but she'd been working hard.

Because it meant so very much to her, she didn’t dare hope. Mel couldn’t let herself believe it until her doctor smiled and told her the test they’d run was positive.

Her tentative due date was May tenth. Her doctor had given her a prescription for vitamins and a diet sheet. Melanie was determined not to bloat out like a beached whale. She was going to do everything right. She knew this would be her only child and she wanted everything to be perfect.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
She chanted the words over and over, a silent prayer of gratitude. The past year had been a nightmare. She’d never appreciated her health until something went wrong and she was taking nothing for granted now.

It had been frightening, as if her body was no longer her own, taking control of her. Rebelling. She’d carried so much of the fear alone, not wanting to burden her family with her problems. Her father, in his sixties, had a heart condition. Her mother spent almost all her time looking after him. They didn’t need to worry about anything else.

Her sisters would understand. Especially Sandy. The elder twin by two minutes, Sandy had always taken the time to listen, to try to understand another person’s point of view. Stephanie would be a different matter. She was more temperamental than Sandy, quicker to voice what she thought without thinking of the consequences. She’d eventually come around.

Dick, the eldest of her brothers, lived on the East Coast with his wife. Mel didn’t see him that often. He’d been so far apart from her in age he was almost like a second father to her, not a brother.

And Donnie …
I will not let him spoil my day. I won’t even think about his reaction.
Donnie thought it was his place to keep the family in line. His comments – what he thought about everyone – were voiced freely whether you wanted to hear them or not. If you didn’t, he’d get on the phone and call someone else in the family so he could have an audience. He reminded her of a crotchety old man trapped inside a younger body.

She stopped at the drugstore nearest her house and filled her prescription for prenatal vitamins, then walked the rest of the way home. Letting herself inside, she walked into her living room and sat down on her couch.

You’re going to have a baby.
  She’d been surprised no one had questioned her sanity as she walked quickly along with the goofiest grin on her face. Lying back on the sofa, she patted her belly.

She just couldn’t stop smiling.

* * *

When she opened her eyes, Melanie realized she’d fallen asleep. Pushing her hair off her neck, she sat up on the couch and stared at her cell phone.

She wanted to call someone.

But who? Not Alicia. She didn’t want to give her friend the news just yet. There would be too many questions involved. Sometimes she got the feeling Ali liked to live vicariously through others. She’d always wanted a child but just never found the right type of guy to settle down with – and Ali would never consider going it alone.

Mel just wasn’t up to another discussion about how horrifyingly brave she was.

Her mother? No. No use worrying her until she was past the first trimester and the danger of a miscarriage lessened. Why give both her parents something else to be concerned about until she was sure the baby was healthy?

Sandy? She ached to tell her oldest sister but she was sure the news would reach her mother. Not Sandy. Steffie was out of the question for now. Dick would probably need coaching to remember who she was.

She ran through each and every one of her friends and realized she had no one to share the news with.

Bubba.
He’d be home shortly. She’d seen him at odd moments when he left for work early in the morning and sometimes when he came home very late at night. She knew he was working hard, trying to keep things going with his business. He’d be tired tonight, as he’d been for the past few weeks.

She hadn’t seen that much of him since their weekend escapade with Joel. Was he ashamed to look at her after their shared intimacy? Did he want to let her down as gracefully as possible? Be a gentleman? She’d reassured him over the weekend that she didn’t expect anything from him but that particular moment in time. Maybe he’d thought she wasn’t telling the truth.

Impossible. You’re letting your emotions run away with you.
She searched for another plausible explanation. Maybe he was going out with someone. There was nothing to stop him. He hadn’t mentioned anyone in a long time but Bubba never really did. He’d never been one to boast of his exploits.

I expect to see a rainbow next time. The wind sock.
Getting slowly to her feet, Mel padded down the hall and into the den on the west side of the house. Rummaging through one of the drawers, she pulled out the brightly striped wind sock and headed back out to her patio.

She and Bubba had thought up the idea of celebrating the holidays with various flags and banners. She’d bought this wind sock in Santa Barbara at a kite store. It was large, almost three feet long, and colored with every hue imaginable. Bubba had helped her set up a flagpole on one corner of her balcony. She walked over to it now, taking down the banner that had been flying for the last couple of days. It had a blue background with a fat, happy faced yellow sun on it. To Mel, it was her end of the summer salute.

She unfastened the banner, fastened the wind sock and hoisted it slowly up into the evening breeze. It was rapidly becoming dark. Bubba probably wouldn’t see it until tomorrow morning. That was okay because tomorrow was a Saturday and he didn’t work on Saturday. Ever. Though he was a very hard worker, Bubba also believed in thoroughly enjoying life and living in the moment. His weekends were his own.

She gazed up at the wind sock as it caught the ocean breeze and began to snap briskly. Her hands strayed to her flat stomach and she rubbed it gently.

Here’s to you, little one. I’m celebrating, even if no one else knows yet.

* * *

Saturday mornings were always the same for Bubba – a brisk, five-mile run along the ocean. Normally he would have asked Mel along but he was so full of tension from his work week that he needed time alone. He ran until he was exhausted, stretched to his limit. It felt good. He liked to push himself, to try to go a little farther, a little faster.

Then into the hot tub. One of his knees gave him trouble at times so he enjoyed the whirlpool effect of the hot water buffeting his legs. Henry followed him out onto the deck and plopped down in the shade of a begonia. He was burrowed underneath it so only his tail showed. Bubba knew his habits because Henry was nothing if not predictable. He liked to hide, wait for birds to appear on the back lawn, then race out and terrorize them.