Back to the Heart (6 page)

Ana was thankful for the silence in the room. Ryan had seated himself at the dining-room table while she stood over the coffeemaker. They were both too tired to say much. Or maybe they were both thinking.

What do you want in your coffee?” she asked Ryan as she poured him a mugful.

It’s too late for sugar. Black will be fine.”

Ana took both mugs and walked over to the table, setting Ryan’s down in front of him before she sat on the other side of the table and wrapped her hands around her own mug, staring into the blackness to avoid his gaze.

I had a great time tonight. Your family is lovely,” Ryan said before taking a sip of his coffee.

They’re good people.” She smiled, thinking about all the aunts and uncles and cousins, and all the love that had enveloped the night and filled her with warmth. Despite the distraction of having Ryan there, it was exactly what she’d needed. Maybe what he had said was right. Perhaps the place where you felt like you didn’t belong was exactly where you needed to be.

I hope I didn’t get in the way too much tonight.”

No.” She glanced up at him. If anything, he had made the night better. “I had a lot of fun. You were very helpful. I think my mom and I would still be at the reception hall cleaning if it weren’t for you.”

It was my pleasure.” There was a weary look behind his eyes, but they were also full of contentedness. He was happy.

I just hope that no one else got the same impression about us that my cousin did.” She refocused on her coffee, not wanting to have to watch Ryan frown.

People will think what they will. That doesn’t make it true.” He didn’t sound offended. If anything, he just seemed relaxed. “Your mother gave me the day off tomorrow. I’d like for you to show me around town, if that’s all right.”

I thought you didn’t explore the places you visited?” It was more of a gentle letdown than a question. If she remembered correctly, he needed to save on gas money, and if he wanted to take her car, she could use her own money issues as an excuse not to.

I don’t usually, but I have a feeling you’d show me a good time.” He loosened his tie, his smoldering gaze causing her sensual side to bubble up unbidden. It took everything Ana had to stuff it back down.

I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Why not?”

Because some people around here already have ideas about us. I don’t want to put any more in their heads.”

“Who cares what they think?”

“I do. I have to live here. You don’t. And if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m pregnant. The last thing I need is for people to think I’m more of a floozy than they already do.”

“You’re not a floozy, Ana. You’re just a girl who made a mistake.” His voice was soothing. “Besides, we’re just friends, right? Is there some law against a woman having male friends in this county? If you’re going to let what other people think dictate how you live, then you might as well never leave the house. I learned that a long time ago.”

Just friends. He said we’re just friends.
A mix of relief and disappointment rushed through Ana. She could go out with him as a friend. And if people thought anything different, that was on them. He was right. She shouldn’t allow what other people think to ruin her life, especially when she knew the truth.

“Friends. I think we can do that,” she said finally, exhaling before draining her cup of coffee.

“Good. I’ll look forward to it then.” He stood and took both of their empty cups to the sink, rinsing them out before putting them in the dishwasher.

Ana kept her eyes on his butt the entire time, a bit sad that she’d never see it unencumbered by slacks. Something told her she was letting the best sex of her life slip away, but it was worth it to save her dignity.

Ana stood to flank Ryan’s side as he showed himself to the door. “What time do you want to go tomorrow?”

“Whenever you wake up.” He turned to her when they reached the door, and Ana’s heart skipped a beat at the dark look in his eyes. It made her feel weak and wanton for the taste of his lips.

“Well, I don’t wake up at the break of dawn like my mother does.” She laughed uncomfortably. The longer she looked at him, the more her resolve dripped away. This was dangerous, being with him like this, in the dim light where he didn’t feel the need to conceal his desire for her.

“I’m sure I’ll be awake before you, but that’s all right. You know where to find me.”

“I do.” She rocked on her heels, feeling more nervous by the second.

“You look so beautiful right now, Ana.” His words pierced through her defenses, straight to her heart. Of all the times to tell her that she was beautiful. Her face was oily from the makeup that had melted off her from sweat, and her dress was stained from the after-wedding cleanup. Hardly attractive.

“A vision,” she replied sarcastically. When Ryan reached up to sweep a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, Ana froze. The room was barely big enough to contain all the electricity shooting through the air. All she could think of to say to stop the impending intimacy between them was, “You should go.”

“Is that what you want?” He was giving her an option to send him out the door without knowing his touch, his kiss. It killed Ana, but she had to take it. Not knowing was the only thing that would hold her together.

“Yes. That’s what I want.” She failed to even convince herself.

“Do you know what I want?”

The answer was obvious. He wanted to sweep her off her feet, to make her forget about what Rick had done to her, to pretend that he cared for her. But it must be a lie. He was just like all the others. He had to be.

“I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to kiss you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. And despite what you say, you want to kiss me too. But you’re afraid, and I get that. I know you didn’t come back here because you wanted to. You were running from something, someone who hurt you badly. And you’re scared of being hurt again.

“I have no intention of hurting you. If you truly don’t want me, then I’ll walk out that door and we can pretend this never happened. But I want you to know I care about you, and I couldn’t walk away tonight without taking a chance to see if you feel the same way too.”

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. The sound of their breathing and the crickets chirping outside was amplified tenfold along with the drumming of Ana’s heart in her ears, and all she could think about was tasting Ryan’s lips, seeing if they were as sweet as his words.

She was so lost it was overwhelming. For a split second, she just let everything go. She tangled her fingers into Ryan’s blond hair and drew him down to her for a kiss that ignited her whole being with a desire so intense she thought it might consume her.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his broad chest. She placed her palm on the front of his shirt. The firm muscle beneath drew out a sensuality within her that she’d thought she had lost the moment she discovered she was pregnant. Instead of feeling like a vessel for carrying her child, she was all woman again with one kiss, filled with need and want and energy, so much she could barely contain it all. So she didn’t try to contain it. She lavished attention on his mouth, slipping her tongue inside to dance along with his, pressing her body against him to savor the feel of his arousal, kissing him until she had no breath left and the only thing that existed in the entire world was the two of them.

When she finally pulled away, she was dizzy with sensation and the disbelief of what she had just done. And the scariest thing of all was that she didn’t regret it. She had been certain she would, but looking at Ryan now, at the affection in his eyes, she allowed herself to believe his words.

“That was . . . wow,” he stuttered. When he ran his tongue across his bottom lip to indulge in her lingering flavor, she couldn’t resist kissing him a second time.

The heat between them was searing; she felt the desperation with which he held her. If they weren’t in her mother’s living room, she might have stripped him down right then and there. Her want was too much to control, and so when he gently pushed her away, though she was dumbstruck, she was also thankful.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Ryan let out a short laugh, rubbing the nape of his neck with one hand and taking a step back. Ana groaned internally at the absence of his touch. Her heart was still racing, her body on overdrive, but she knew this was for the best. While she didn’t regret the kiss, she wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t regret anything else they might do tonight while she was still so fueled by the romance of Celia’s wedding.

“You opened the door.” She blushed, embarrassed that she had come on to him so suddenly.

“I’m glad I did.” He smiled warmly at her. “Please don’t slam it in my face later.”

He showed himself out, turning briefly to tell her, “Good night,” taking her breath away with another charming smile.

When she whispered the words back and closed the door behind him, she stood there for several moments, listening to his footsteps crunch against the gravel as he walked toward the barn. Everything in her wished he would come back, draw her into his arms, and spirit her away for a night of passion she’d never forget. As it was, the night was already unforgettable, filled with fun and dancing and romance and memories.

It took Ana a while to pull herself together. The distance between them brought her back down to reality, but it was a different reality than the one she’d believed in before. In this new reality, she thought that there was a possibility that she could be with Ryan. Perhaps his words were true. Maybe he didn’t have any intention of hurting her. All she could do was trust him.

The bad thing about working on farms and ranches for the past six months was that even when Ryan had a day off, he still woke up early. It felt strange beating the sun. Ryan was a nine-to-five guy, always had been, so switching to early mornings had been hard for him.

No doubt Molly was already awake, cooking breakfast and preparing to fill the duties that Ryan was supposed to leave unattended this morning. A little extra work never hurt anyone, though, especially when Ana probably wouldn’t be up for several more hours. So instead of going inside and having his share of breakfast, he did his regular early-morning rounds, making sure that all the water troughs were full and that there were no weaknesses in the fence line. It was the least he could do for Molly in exchange for all of her generosity, including not chasing him off with a pitchfork when he began to show interest in her elder daughter.

As Ryan worked away the hours before dawn, he thought about the kiss he had shared with Ana last night. He’d known she was a passionate woman, that just below that timid facade was someone dying to express her sensuality, but he had never expected her to make the first move.

A smile crossed his face as he remembered the heat of her lips against his and the way she had held him so desperately in her arms. And he had held her just as desperately, pouring all of his desire into the kiss and never wanting to let her go. It had been hard to rein himself in. In the end, his heart had won out. If he wanted her to trust him, he’d have to take things slow.

As the sun peeked over the horizon, Ryan began to wonder how he would be able to have her. It was obvious Ana had no qualms about leaving Texas, but New York struck at her heart. He doubted she’d want to go back, and she still had no idea that New York was where he was actually from. And there again was something else he had to worry about—the lies. How could he expect her to want to be with him when he was hiding so much of himself from her? Would Ana and Molly really care that he was some big-shot billionaire CEO? He wasn’t living in his brother’s shadow. It was the other way around.

Ryan sighed. The more he thought about it, the more the lies piled up: where he was from, his name—even his hair and eyes weren’t real. Contacts and bleach and hair dye. He had just wanted to blend in for a while, to be normal—like everyone else. It had been an escape, traveling around the country, living a simple life, helping people with the hard labor that he had long ago traded in for a desk job and a business suit. He had never anticipated that he would fall in love.

And now everything was a mess. The longer he kept the truth from her, the deeper a hole he was digging himself into. But he didn’t want it to end just yet. He liked that she didn’t seem to care about money or fancy cars or houses. She just cared about him.

Molly was standing next to the barn with her hands on her hips when Ryan finally rolled back up the driveway.

“It’s your day off,” she complained as he killed the engine and opened up the door to step out of his truck.

“I know, but you were up so late last night, I figured I’d help you out a little.” He smiled at her.

“You’ve helped me out a lot.” She caressed his cheek, giving him a look he had seen in his own mother’s eyes hundreds of times before. “Come inside and have some breakfast. It’s cold, but that’s nothing the microwave won’t fix.”

They walked inside arm in arm, and Molly sat Ryan down at the dining-room table and fixed him a plate of food, ever the good hostess. It amazed him how much she reminded him of his own mother, though she was more spunky.

“So, Sunshine, what’s on your agenda today?” she asked as she sat down on the opposite side of the table from him with a cup of coffee.

“Ana is going to show me around town today.”

“A little sightseeing, huh?”

“Yeah. I think I’m going to have her show me that dance hall she was telling me about.”

“The Cabaret?” The words came out with a lilt of nostalgia. “Well, I hate to disappoint you, but they’re in the process of tearing it down and rebuilding it right now.”

“I’d still like to see it. Like to see where Ana learned how to dance so well.” He grinned at his eggs.

When Molly didn’t make a snarky comment back, he looked up to find concern in her eyes. Her smile was still there, but it was a lot softer than before. “I know you like my little girl, and I think you’re a fine young man. Nothing would make me happier than to see the two of you be together. You work hard and are always polite. You’re a gentleman through and through . . .”