Ballad Beauty (10 page)

CHAPTER 12

The sound of it broke Noah’s heart. He went to her and scooped her up in his arms.

“There, now. It’s okay, honey. It’ll be fine. You’ll see,” he murmured.

She buried her face against his shoulder. He sat down on a stump near the fire and stroked her hair over and over. He whispered mostly nonsense to her, in gentle, soothing tones, trying to quiet her sobs.

He hated it when a woman cried. Yet if anyone had something to cry about, it was Jenny McShanahan. He hated Sam in that moment more than he’d ever thought possible. The outlaw abandoned this sweet woman when she was but a child and spun her dreams of future happiness. Now those dreams had splintered into a thousand pieces. Sam needed to be punished.

“Jenny?”

She raised her tear-stained face as she clutched his shoulders for support. He still held her on his lap, an arm about her waist. She bit her lower lip as it quivered uncontrollably. A fresh wave of tears cascaded down her cheeks.

“Damn him.” Noah brushed his knuckles across her soft, wet cheeks. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

His hand slipped to the back of her neck and drew her close to him. He needed to comfort her, and so he did it the only way he knew how.

He kissed her.

Her lips were softer than he’d imagined. He’d had trouble even looking at her the last few days because he’d wanted to kiss her so badly. And now he was.

It was the sweetest kiss in his life. It made him want to protect her from everything bad. He wanted to keep Sam and the world at bay for a few minutes.

Instinctively, he deepened the kiss and felt her tentative response. He realized she’d never been kissed before, and the thought pleased him. He tightened his hold around her waist. She melted in his arms.

Noah wanted her. More than he ever wanted a woman he’d held. Gently, he coaxed her mouth open and pushed his tongue inside. He caught her hesitation and pulled back.

“Trust me,” he whispered as his mouth came down on hers again. This time she eagerly accepted him. It sent a warmth rushing through him.

The kiss turned from gentle to possessive. His hand went up to caress her face and then pushed into her upswept hair. The pins fell away. Honeyed curls cascaded about her shoulders. His fingers ran through the waves as he deepened the kiss and strove to make them as one, if only for a few moments.

He pulled away from her mouth and pressed his lips along her jaw to her ear. He nibbled lightly on her earlobe and was rewarded with her shiver of pleasure. He claimed her mouth again, a fierce tenderness racing through him. She made the most delicious sounds in the back of her throat.

His hand fell from her hair and went to fondle her breast when he stopped himself.
What on God’s green earth was he doing?

A man kisses a nice girl like this too much, and it leads to an end of his freedom. If there was one thing he wasn’t interested in, it was settling down. Passion be damned. He could find this kind of pleasure with any crib gal.

He abruptly broke the kiss and pushed Jenny from his lap. He stood up, his knees weak, but his resolve strong. Until he looked at her.

She was more tempting than any female he’d ever laid eyes upon, and he’d seen his share of beautiful women. Her lips were swollen and full from their passion, her moss green eyes misty. The hair tumbling down her back gave her a wild look. This was no sexless schoolmarm but a tiger waiting to be awakened. He knew he’d just messed with fire. He needed to put it out before it raged out of his control.

“We can never do that again,” he said flatly.

Jenny looked up at him in confusion. Damn, if he didn’t want to sweep her up and do it all again. He dug down deep for his resolve, hoping he’d still find it there.

“I only wanted to comfort you. I never meant for things to go as far as they did.” He paused, and she looked as if she would speak. He didn’t need any womanly reasoning now. Every time a woman got logical, it was a lost cause. A man never knew what hit him.

“You’re a nice girl, Jenny. Real nice. I took advantage of you in a weak moment. It can’t mean anything, though. You’re as pretty a girl as I’ve ever seen. You’ll probably kiss plenty of fellows before you settle down. But this is one man who’s never going to get married. So don’t look at me moonstruck now because we spooned a little. Let’s just forget it happened and continue on our way.”

Jenny still felt dizzy from Noah’s kisses. In fact, she compared it to Dr. Randolph’s patients that had taken laudanum. Even as they awakened from a laudanum-induced sleep, they acted as if they moved underwater, so slow and languid were their gestures and words. She behaved the same way now.

Her limbs were heavy. It made it difficult to focus on what Noah said. He had a stern look about him. She tried hard to listen to his words. When she finally comprehended their meaning, they devastated her.

For a few stolen moments, she belonged. She had been safe. She was wanted. The kisses she’d shared with him had been beyond her understanding, but it hadn’t mattered. She needed him, and he returned the feeling. In his arms was the security she’d longed for her entire life.

She hadn’t had time to conjure dreams of white, picket fences and children at their feet, and he sure didn’t let her. Couldn’t he have at least indulged her in that fantasy for a few minutes? This man awakened new feelings in her, a powerful wanting of something she barely grasped, and here he had already torn it down and shoved it aside.

She remembered the letter she had received. Its single line ran over and over in her thoughts.

Watch the man following you.

She regarded him closely. He remained a mystery to her. His effortless charm and easygoing nature hid deeper waters, she was sure. She was suddenly suspicious of him. Weren’t consumptives prone to lethargy and coughing fits? The few that came into the clinic were always short of breath. Noah hadn’t displayed any of these symptoms, though he said his disease had been caught in the early stages.

Despite her doubts, it was his words that hurt her almost as much as the knowledge her papa was a common thief and murderer who had passed up numerous opportunities to send for her.

Rejection ran through her again. She was unwanted and unloved. But she was strong. She would survive this—and whatever lay ahead.

In a calm, detached tone even a cold fish such as Miss Thompson would have found hard to voice, she said, “It’s already forgotten, Noah.” She leaned down to pour herself a cup of coffee. She let the bitter brew push away the thickness in her throat. With each swallow, she closed her heart to the world. And Noah Webster.

Noah stuck to her like a chigger on an ankle. She’d tried to cut him loose after they reached a tiny dot of a town, but he refused to say goodbye.

“I’m in this for the long haul, Jenny. You agreed to pay me a certain fee to escort you to Prairie Dell. I’m counting on that income, to be paid upon our arrival. I won’t give away your secret,” and he’d watched her eyes go a deeper green than he thought possible, “but I aim to finish what we started. So shake a stick at me if you see fit, but you’re not about to turn me loose.”

Instead, she’d simply turned him off.

They’d spent three days in silence now. It was about to eat him alive. He started more than his fair share of conversations, but she froze him out each time with that teacher stare she’d mastered.

Now they were into New Mexico, close to Fort Bascom, and he’d spent those three days in misery. With nothing to keep his mind off it, he couldn’t help but dwell on their kiss.

He couldn’t forget that kiss.

He had never been so affected by a plain kiss—though there had been nothing plain about it. He could look across at her as she bounced along on that prissy Sassy and taste her. When he helped her to dismount, he smelled the subtle scent of lavender that clung to her. His senses would reel. It took every ounce of concentration to prevent from locking lips right then and there.

And then there had been the nights. Normally, he fell asleep faster than a hundred men put together. The last couple of nights had been the longest in his life. He had to fight from tossing and turning. He didn’t want Jenny to have a clue as to how restless he was. Especially when she lay within an arm’s reach of him, next to the fire.

So he lost sleep as he daydreamed about her. His heart would start to pound. His fingers would itch as he saw them run through that mass of curls again. His tongue tingled as he imagined it against hers. It became more than desire. He was afraid he’d go out of his head.

And the more he wanted her, the more she withdrew from him. She’d been dealt a harsh blow with the instant knowledge of Sam’s true occupation. She needed time to think about it, process it, and come to an understanding about it. All he did was confuse her more. Eliminate him from the confusion, and she might handle things better.

But how he ached for just one more pass at that lush mouth.

He knew it was foolish. They were both from bad blood. Bad blood would tell in the long run. Things never could work between them—even if he did ever think about settling down. They might put their best faces on for the world, but deep inside, they both hid their darkest secret. They had no future, especially one together.

“That’s Fort Bascom,” he told her as it appeared on the horizon. “We’ll need to resupply ourselves.”

It surprised him when she spoke. “I have a letter I’d like to post while we’re there.”

Noah had watched her write it last night by the light of the fire. She concentrated so hard, her brow wrinkled at times. The flame caught the golden highlights in her hair. He had to tamp down his desire to remove the pins and bury his face in it.

Instead, he settled against his saddle and closed his eyes. He pretended to sleep as he listened to the scratching she made on the page. He supposed it was to her doctor friend at that school. He didn’t know of anyone else she had to write. He wondered what she revealed in it.

He pointed her in the right direction as they entered the fort’s gates and went to find the post’s commander. The man welcomed him warmly.

“Good to meet you, Mr. Webster,” said the colonel, after Noah introduced himself. “A Texas Ranger is always welcomed in New Mexico territory.”

The man was in his late forties with eyes sharp as steel. Noah couldn’t see much getting past him. “I’m hunting down a man named Sam McShan.”

The colonel laughed heartily. “Ah, the Robin Hood of the West. Don’t we all wish we could find Mr. McShan and collect on the sizable reward?”

“I’m not interested in the reward, sir. I’m after the man himself.”

“Maybe you could donate the reward to a worthy cause, in Sam’s honor, once you bring him in.” The army officer smiled at his own wit. “
If
you bring him in, that is. Sam’s been a slippery eel for a long time, Mr. Webster. I wish you luck in your endeavor.”

“Any sight of him in these parts?”

“No, son. If he did come this way, I would’ve heard about it. Nothing gets by me. Absolutely nothing.”

Noah nodded. “Just as I suspected, Colonel.” He thanked the officer for his time and quickly purchased the few supplies he thought they’d need during the remainder of their trip to Prairie Dell.

Jenny joined him, and they left the confines of the post. They traveled another couple of hours before he called a halt to their progress.

“Let’s make camp here for the night.”

She shrugged and brought Sassy to a halt. Noah felt his temper rise. Three days was long enough.

He leaped from Star and walked over to her. He grabbed her around the waist and yanked her from the saddle. Her eyes widened in surprise.

With his hands holding her firmly in place, he said, “Enough is enough, Jenny. You’ve punished me for my lack of respect toward you. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry about your daddy, too, but you’ve got to get past that. Now quit trying my patience. I’m no Job and never claimed to be.” He softened his tone. “I wish you’d talk to me, is all. I’ve missed that.”

He gave her waist a little squeeze and dropped his hands. He didn’t trust himself to touch her any longer. He stepped back to place some space between them. He adjusted his Stetson and waited on her, his hands balled into fists by his side.

She took a step toward him and placed a gloved hand on his forearm. A jolt passed through him at the contact. He knew she felt it, too, by the way those green eyes danced for a moment, but she ignored it.

“Forgive me, Noah. I’ve been out of sorts. I didn’t mean to punish you for . . . for just being here.” She took a cleansing breath. “I retreated into myself. I wanted to find an answer to my problems, and I didn’t need any distractions. Of any kind,” she added.

She gave him a weak smile. “I promise to be better company during the remainder of our journey.” She removed her hand from his arm and held it out to him.

He took it and shook with her. He held her hand longer than called for, but he was so glad she’d spoken to him again, he didn’t care.

“It’s a pretty cool night,” he said cheerfully as he released her hand. “Better get a fire started. I could use some coffee.”

“Me, too,” she agreed.

They both busied themselves with the domestic tasks of setting up camp for the night. He was happy they lingered over coffee after supper. Things seemed right again between them. He still wanted to kiss her senseless, but he’d happily take conversation with her instead.