My sleep talker
was so fucking magnificent. I caught myself waiting anxiously to hear what she’d say next. Where most men fall asleep when their head hits the pillow—I know this because I used to be one of them—I found myself fighting it because I couldn’t miss a moment of this. Holding onto me, I moved just enough to jar her into talking.
“Don’t go,” she
mumbled into my arm pit, not even noticing her face is buried in hair. Moving her to my chest, I ran my fingers over the side of her face.
“I’m not going anywhere pienko.”
“He is so beautiful, Red,” she whispered. “You would be so proud of me.”
“Why would she be proud?”
“He gets me, sees me and he is so good to me,” she said. “I think I do a pretty good job of being good to him too.”
“He loves you
, Lina.”
“I know.”
“Do you know how much?”
“I think so
, but I’m afraid to be too happy.”
“He wants your happiness,” I
told her. “Your happiness makes him happy.”
“I’ve never been happy before,” she
admitted. “Reckless, misguided and a lush yeah. Happy, no. Sometimes he looks at me and the whole world stops.”
“Do you know why the world stops?” I ask
ed her. “It’s because when he looks at you, he’s looking at his world. It stops for him, too.”
“He speaks when he’s inside of me,” she
whispered, clutching me. “He says the most beautiful things, Red.”
“You don’t mind?”
“No,” she said quietly. “He speaks the truth and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”
“That’s love,” I
told her, clutching her in return.
“No,” she
whispered, followed by a yawn. “That’s Anthony.”
After losing my parents my path for vengeance was clear, or so I thought. Joining the FBI was a way for me to help others only I was so focused on revenge. I wasn’t very good at my job. I did the bare minimum. I took the skills they taught me and applied to what was happening here. The CCRSB is an important part of the FBI. I basically was an evidence collector, which suited me. It was, after all, all I had to offer. Then a name was mentioned and my course changed again. Halina would change my life forever. She would also do for me what I hadn’t managed to do in almost ten years of trying. She avenged my parents. This tiny little woman with more spirit and issues would teach me how to love and show me some things were more important than the past.
It was called the future.
I believe every man has a moment in his life when he feels helpless. This is my moment. When he took her from me, she didn’t fight it and I knew why. To save me she was going to give him what he wanted and I would give anything to stop her from doing it, only I had nothing to give. He thought I was dead, and in truth, I wasn’t far from it. When I broke free of the radiator and grabbed him, all I needed her to do was run.
She didn’t run.
Tears mix with the blood dripping to the floor. The pain is there, but fading. There was no way to win against Julian in my condition and I hadn’t planned to. I just wanted her to have enough time to get away. Now he has her in the next room. I tell myself not to listen, she wouldn’t want that, but even if we’re apart, I can’t let her do this alone. Minutes go by at least, maybe more, it’s hard to tell because I’m so tired. It’s too quiet, I can’t hear anything. I don’t want to hear anything, but I need to know she’s alive.
I think of her rule and my stomach knots up. She would enforce it to spare me
. He would do that for her because in his own fucked up way, he loves her. Vomit spews from my mouth before I can stop it. Thoughts form, visuals commence, and I vomit again. Gagging and spitting, it startles me when I hear Julian screaming. Fighting to hear more, I panic when my eyes threaten to close without permission. A little longer. I have to last a little longer.
One shot fired.
A door crashes open.
Two shots fired.
Silence…
Three shots total. I can’t breathe
. I can’t think. I try and scream for her, but I can’t. My voice won’t work. My body is shutting down quickly, so quickly when I hear three more shots go off, I don’t even flinch. I hear small footsteps but, I can’t lift my head. When she wraps her arms around me, I inhale her again before taking my last breath.
She fucking made it.
“Lina is super easy to figure out, but the trick is to not try and figure her out.”
“That makes no sense,” I
told Jules.
“Neither does Lina most of the time,” she
laughed. “But she’s honest, loyal and extremely sensitive.”
“Like you.”
“Who do you think taught me?” she said with a huge smile on her face. “She doesn’t see it, but Lina taught me most everything.”
For the rest of my life, I will never look at my wife the same. I knew what she did for a living
. I’ve even seen some of it firsthand, but this? There are no words for this. Jumbo stands aside to let Jules enter. I follow after her while the rest of the team crowds the door. I can hear Rafe telling me to make that call, so while watching my wife approach her best friend, I call for an ambulance. Suddenly, there’s a crash and Venessa and Macy push their way through to get to her as well.
The two hold hands and onto their men while Jules
falls on her hands and knees to get her best friend’s attention. Lina’s completely naked and covered in blood, gun in her hand, with the blackest eyes that are just blank. Given the situation, you can see she’s clearly in shock. She’s in another place where no one can get to her. She’s singing to Tony, oblivious to us standing here. She repeats the same few words over and over again.
This is do or die
This is the winner takes it all
So take it all
Looking over at Jumbo, I lean in and ask him, “What does it mean?”
The look he gives me back is one of concern
. “Fuck, that’s Eminem’s track ‘Survival’, man.”
“Christ,” I mumble with my heart breaking for her. I watch Jules
slowly reaches for Lina and calls her name softly but, she isn’t with us. Crouching over Tony, she stares at Jules like she’s a stranger and she doesn’t stop repeating herself. When she attempts one small move forward, Lina raises the gun, pointing it right at my wife’s forehead. Jules takes the hint, backs away with her hands up. Venessa and Macy push past their men and take either side of Jules. Time is of the essence now. Any second that ambulance is going to show up and if Jules cannot get to Lina, one of us was going to have to do it.
“Lina,” she says carefully
. “It’s me, Jules. I brought back up.”
She doesn’t blink or show any signs of understanding her. The only indication she’s even present is her tiny casted fist clenching and her eyes narrowing
. She continues to sing.
Pushing in my ear piece
, I whisper, “Blue. Talk to her about Tony.” Nodding subtly, she tries to move forward, as do the girls. “Lina, I need to check on Tony.”
Lina’s growl was
quiet, but in this moment it sounds like a Lion’s roar. “Can you tell me what happened?” No response, so she tries again. “I need you to come back, Lina,” she says with more authority. “Enough floating. We need you to come back.
He
needs you to come back.”
When she tries again
, I stop breathing. My wife needs to move the hell back, not forward. “Lina,” she says and Venessa steps forward too.
“I’ll do it,” she says
, attempting to make a move on Lina, but Jules stops her by shaking her head. Pushing both girls behind her takes some of the aggression out of Lina’s posture, but not much.
Sitting right in front of her now, I move to grab my wife when Saint stops me. “She’s good,” he whispers
. “She’s got this.” Grinding my jaw, I stay put.
Bringing her hands to Lina’s face she goes into commander mode
. “Lina,” she says with that voice. “Enough.”
The singing stops. Blinking her eyes
, she looks at Jules, then at us and then slowly backs up to be closer to Tony, never taking her focus or her aim off of Jules. “He needs a doctor,” she whispers. “He was tied to the radiator and shot in the stomach twice.”
“Will you let me free him?”
One nod was all she gave. Jules gives the signal in the mic for keys to the cuffs. Rogan reaches into his pocket then passes it off to her and she kneels down in front of Tony. “Set the gun down,” she orders quietly. “Wrap your arms around him, Lina. Once he’s free you can hold him.”
“I don’t think---
” Macy starts, but Jules ignores her and we watch as Lina does in fact set it down, but it’s still close enough to reach and not one of us could stop her. “In 3, 2, 1,” she says, and she reaches forward, uncuffing Tony, then Lina wraps herself around him once again. Touching his face, she ignores Jules freeing his ankles of rope. Just then, the ambulance arrives and Lina goes fucking ballistic holding onto to Tony while going for the gun again.
Wasting no time
, Jules tackles her. “Lina No!” she orders her. “You don’t get to do this now. You will ride with him to the hospital, do you understand me?
No one
will take him from you. I won’t allow it.”
“Promise?” she asks in a quiet voice that broke my fucking heart all over again
.
“Look at me,”
Jules says, touching Lina’s face. “I fucking promise.”
“Truth,” she whispers
, and slowly eases her grip on him, but watches closely as the EMT’s get him to the stretcher and ready for transport.
“Get me a blanket,”
Jules orders me and I run out to the nearest medic grabbing one. Handing it to her, she gives me a small smile and wraps Lina up. Walking her out to help her climb in, she asks Lina if she’s hurt.
“No,” she says
. “I’m still immortal.”
“Julian and the others, you do that?” Duffy asks
, gently wiping the blood from her face.
“Yes.”
“Were they cops?” he asks her.
“Yes,” she says
, only focusing on Tony.
“Proud of you,” he says
, kissing her forehead, never mentioning her parents. Looking away from us, she holds onto him as they close the doors and drive away.
Pulling my wife to me
, I ask her, “Is she going to be okay?”
K
issing my cheek, she whispers, “You know what? I think she will be.”
“You checked the gun?” I ask her
.
“Yes,” she whispers
, clutching me.
“How many rounds were left?”
“Enough to take out the room.”
“Fuck,” I groan
, holding her even closer. Had Lina opened fire, my wife would have been the first shot, followed by the rest of us. “Would she have done it?”
“For Tony? Yes, if she felt she needed to
, she would have. In a heartbeat, just as I would do for you.”
The women take Rogan’s truck to be there for Lina and Tony at the hospital. I stay back with the guys to clean house and figure out what to do about a Hummer sticking half way out of it. And in case you’re wondering
, a few hours later, Lina called me, had me order the guys to leave. I had her back as she burned that shit to the ground, Hummer and all. When it was over, she reached into her pocket, produced Tony’s keys, lit a cigarette, gave me a hug and drove off in his car.
Jules was right to say she could lose herself to floating
, but now that she has Tony? I’d say, you fuck with him, you’ll deal with her. Personally, I don’t think Lina is half as crazy as people claim she is. Lina just doesn’t like to lose. I’m not big into confrontation but, for someone so tiny, she is terrifying.
Love will do that to a person because size doesn’t matter when hearts and bullets are involved.