Ballistic (38 page)

Julian was next to me when I stood there like a statue in the coroner’s office to identify my parent’s bodies. It only took seconds to do so. However, I couldn’t stop staring at the hole left in each forehead. The coroner
interrupted my thoughts by telling me they died holding hands. They died together.

He probably said it hoping it would bring me some measure of peace
, and to a point it had. Had I known the man beside me was responsible for it, I would have snapped his neck in retribution. But I didn’t know and instead, I allowed him to comfort me. I allowed him to weasel his way into my life, infecting me, using me and all along he planned on killing me too.

If Lina is traumatized by what just happened, she isn’t showing it. Despite how they treated her in the end, she still gave them mercy by giving them a quick death. She reached behind her, giving him back his weapon and looked over at me with eyes that begged for forgiveness. I wanted to tell her she never had to ask, that I got it. That I think she’s brave and strong, but I couldn’t because now he was eyeing me. That was when I knew my time was up. Julian now knew there was only one way to break Lina.

By destroying what she
cherished most.

My ankles were free because of Lina’s help
. I was close to having my wrists free, but needed more time. She and I make eye contact and she tries to make her way to me carefully when he aims his pistol and fires one round. Her screams of terror are all I can hear. I knew I’d been shot but I couldn’t place where because all at once everything hurt. Crawling over to me, she cradles me in her tiny arms trying to support my weight. Pain was assaulting me on all fronts and I couldn’t focus on what she was saying because of it. When her words turn to hysterics, I can feel Julian and his hatred for me close by.

“Let me know when you’re ready to give yourself to me Lina,” he says over her sobbing
. “His life is in your hands.”

Julian closes the door
, taking his men with him and she refuses to let go of me. “Stay with me,” she begs, but I can’t answer her. “Please, Anthony, fight. I’ll get us out of this, I promise.”

“Lina,” I groan
. “Love you.”

“You don’t get to say it now!” she sobs into my neck
. “You have to fight!” When I stay silent she goes through every range of emotion. When I stay silent further, she starts talking to herself. She has plans for Julian, she plans on how to save me and, worst of all, she refuses to accept a life without me.

That’s what hurt
s most of all.

She’s convinced herself that without me, she
can’t live. She is going to get herself killed because of it too.  I need my fucking hands more than I need to breathe right now. I need to give her the chance to run to safety.

I’d
decided clarity only comes to those that are open to receive it. I manage to keep myself as level as impossible even as the man in my arms stops moving. When he doesn’t talk to me because he couldn’t, still I stayed in the present. When I started to feel weightless, I let it take me because I knew this time, like the last, was different. This time, I knew I needed to listen to what I had to say. Closing my eyes and tuning out the voices in the house, I regulated my breathing and ignored the chaos around me. Tightening my grip on Anthony, I still felt his breaths on the arm holding him and it comforted me.

I always asked,
“Why me? What have I ever done to deserve this curse? Who thought I was strong enough to handle it?” Because of this curse, every day of my life has been a struggle. A struggle to find the good, to find love and to find peace. He took a deep breath and I felt his sides move and just that small amount of contact shifted my thinking again. It’s him. He’s the good, he’s the love and the peace.

Maybe this curse wasn’t a curse at all. Maybe it was a gift, an opportunity.
That’s the moment my eyes flew open and everything looked new, it looked real and living seemed possible. I knew in that moment I was given this gift for a reason and I would protect it. To make a difference, to right the wrongs and to love without fear were opportunities I wouldn’t squander. I needed to respect it, let this gift teach me, guide me and trust that I would do good things with it. Holding him tighter I knew in my soul that like this gift, he was put in my path for a reason.

No one was taking him from me.

No-fucking-one.

Time passes and I still can’t believe after all these years I finally figured it out. The timing was fucking horrible and he was fading even as I held him. His wrists and ankles were shredded from fighting his captivity. The moment that bullet reached his stomach, my soul demanded retribution. Forcing myself to focus, I keep slapping his face, begging him to wake up. Crawling over to the window, I grab my torn shirt and press it to his abdomen trying to staunch the flow. I am so fucking stubborn, I have help, but I didn’t ask for it. If I had taken the time to call Jules first, I could have avoided this. But I didn’t. Like always I just had to be a one woman shit show. I needed that help now.

Remembering my phone, I reach into the waist of my
torn jeans where there was an extra pocket. When I bought them I wondered what Silver was thinking with an interior pocket, but now I’m grateful. That damn hidden pocket was going to save our asses. Grabbing it with shaky hands, I look and see my battery is in the red. Shit. Sending a text to Jules, I give her an address and a simple message.

Look for my truck, it’s parked in the living room.

Continuing to apply pressure to his wound while I wait for help, I grind my jaw when I think of how he
may have betrayed me but he totally betrayed Anthony. Julian, that mother fucker, went through a lot of trouble to force me to his side. Fuck that, I’ll take a bullet to the brain before helping that prick. I mentally send a message to the devil, telling him to get ready because I was hand delivering his son to him. Anthony was slipping away from me, the further he floated the harder I had to fight to stay present. I need my anchor; I need Anthony but first Julian needed to die.

When he moans
, I tuck my phone away and place his face in my hand. “Anthony,” I whisper. “Please wake up.”

He looks up at me standing over him while he’s forced to his knees and whispers
, “Heaven,” then closes his eyes.

“Stay with me
, coach, I need extra innings, okay?”

“Lina,” he moans
. “When he comes back, I need you to run.”

“I’ll kill him
, Anthony,” I vow. “I’ll get you out of here. Please just trust me.”

“I love you
, Sherlock,” he says with his eyes closing. “Do this for me. Run.”

“
I won’t leave her without you,” I tell him. “I’ll kill him, I swear it.”

“I’m bleeding out
, Lina,” he says. “I don’t have much time. I need to know you’ll be safe before I----”

“Anthony
, no,” I beg him. “Don’t you dare fucking leave me. You lead, I follow, remember?”

“Sherlock,” he whispers
. “I’m afraid you have that backwards. Run for me, one last time.”

When I hear footsteps, I lock onto him ignoring his grunt of pain. I won’t let him go, ever. The fact that my parents are feet away dead and gone on the floor mean nothing
. Only him. Saving him. Slowly, the door opens flooding the room with fresh air. Closing my eyes tight, I refuse to give Julian any more power. I won’t.

“Lina,” he says
, standing over me. “Look at me.” Refusing to do so, I tune him out. It’s just Anthony and I in this room. When his arms wrap around me, he yanks me away with surprising force I stow my rage knowing I’ll need it for what’s to come. Pushing me against the wall with his body, I open my eyes showing him the hatred I’ve reserved for him there. “When I told you I wanted to give you the world, I meant it,” he says, stroking my hair. “It’s over now, let him go.”

Where are Jules and the team?
I waited too long, they’ll never make it time. Oh fuck, did I forget to hit send? Am I strong enough to do this alone? Can I save him? Would anyone save me? When Julian kisses my forehead in tenderness I realize this time I was going to have to save myself. I’m independent, I can figure this out. My rescue isn’t coming. As long as I can get Anthony out of here, what happens to me in the process is insignificant. I didn’t know how I’d go about doing it, but I knew that when I did that it I wouldn’t hesitate. When I had my opening, I’d kill Julian with a smile on my face. I was still going over ways to kill Julian in my mind, when suddenly Anthony was there looming over Julian, looking like the angel of death with cuffed wrists. Grabbing him in a headlock, he pulls Julian away from me and the two of them start a battle to the death. Looking for a gun, knife, anything, I’m desperate to find something to use on Julian because Anthony can barely stand up. Yet, he fights. When Julian lands a blow to Anthony’s injured side, he stumbles back and goes down hard.

“Julian no!” I scream
, then launch myself onto his back. Beating him with my fists does absolutely nothing. He rushes us backward slamming me into a wall so hard I had no choice but to release him.

Making my way to my feet he levels me with a look while his pistol is aimed at Anthony. “One move Lina,” he says
. “He dies.”

Nostrils flaring, fist clenched and murder in my veins
, I stand there wondering what to do. Anthony isn’t getting up, he isn’t doing anything. But before I could negotiate or even attack, Julian flips the script on me.

“You know what? Fuck it.”
While looking directly at me, he shoots in Anthony’s stomach again. A wail leaves my body, followed by a grief so intense my knees buckle sending me to the floor. I can feel his life force draining even faster and I can feel myself wanting to follow.  The devastation was so swift that I couldn’t muster up the strength to crawl over and hold him. When Julian approaches me, I find I’m too numb to fight, to move or to scream. Standing there, I wonder if I ask him for his gun again if he’d give it to me. As long as I was with Anthony, I didn’t care what it took to get me there. A bullet would work just fine.

Julian
leans down to my level, pulls me into a hug giving me no room to move, but giving me a chance to see Anthony. The tears are there, but won’t fall, but when Anthony moves his head slowly to look up at me, my reason to fight and to live come roaring back to me

“Lina,”
Julian whispers in my ear, sucking on my lobe. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I whisper so Anthony can’t hear me
.

“Then come with me
,” he says, taking my hand and I did so without a fight.

Remember when I said I was taking one for the team? This is me getting fucked, for real. I knew Julian’s ultimate test of loyalty would be the taking of my body. Giving it to him freely, like I used to. I like to think that I’m strong, but fuck I don’t think I’m that strong. Julian has no idea
, but he’s about to destroy me.

And I was going to let him.

When I don’t follow because I’m frozen in place, he picks me up and carries me from the bedroom. When I glance up one last time, I see Anthony looking at me with pure devastation. Mouthing
I love you,
I close my eyes and wait for my chance to tell fate to fuck off before killing the evil that held me tight.

Fate may be strong, but
fuck that bitch I’m stronger.