Barefoot (16 page)

‘We need to think about advertising Buster, Antonia,’ her mother said. ‘Now you’ve had time to get used to the idea.’

Toni looked to her father for support, but he continued facing the cooker, stirring his sauce. His back conveyed a clear message. Keep me out of this. She wished he would stand up to her mother more often.

Arabella ploughed on. ‘You need to put an ad online, on the Pony Club website.’

‘OK,’ Toni agreed, meekly.

Her mother looked triumphant. ‘And do one for the noticeboard at Marnie’s at the same time.’

Toni nodded again. Mechanically. None of it mattered anyway, because tomorrow Buster would be safely gone.

After dinner she pretended she had a lot of homework and escaped to her room to pack. She was feeling so tense she couldn’t think what to take. In the end she decided to pile everything she thought she might need on her bed.

Backpack, waterproof.

What else?

A change of clothes?

She found herself biting her nails with the tension.

How long would they be gone?

Toni pushed the last question out of her mind quickly and tried to concentrate, adding a torch to the growing pile. If she thought about it too much, she might chicken out.

She wondered what Cal was packing. His face as he leant across, just before he kissed her, flashed into her mind for the hundredth time that day. Shivering, she sat on the side of the bed for a moment, allowing herself to relive the moment. She already knew the trip was about more than saving Buster. It was about the two of them now as well.

She got up and walked across to the mirror and fiddled with her hair, putting it up in a bun, then back in a pony and finally let it hang loose again. She was being ridiculous. It would be pitch-dark by one in the morning. Cal wouldn’t see her hair anyway.

She looked at her watch. Only nine. Four hours still to go. But she had to pack for Buster as well. Toni slipped out of the house and into the tack room to get his things ready, then she found herself agonising all over again about what she needed to take.

Would she be riding him at all, or just leading him?

In the end she took his saddle down to his field and tacked him up anyway, covering it with a rug in case Arabella saw and got suspicious. She filled a hay net to put in the horse lorry with him and left it outside the gate, then went back up to her room to wait.

Time seemed to slow down. She remembered this feeling, waiting for her turn in a competition. She sat with her bag packed, just watching the hours creep by. She heard Arabella go out to do her late round of the horses, then come upstairs to bed and the house settled down to silence.

When the clock finally showed half past midnight, Toni stood up decisively.

It was time to leave.

*****  
Ten
  *****

The one thing Toni hadn’t planned for was the rain. It began around eleven and had fallen relentlessly ever since. When she approached the field, Buster whinnied gently, but it was still loud enough to make her jump.

‘Shhh. You have to be quiet,’ she hissed. With great care they picked their way up the muddy field track to the yard, both slipping occasionally in the dark. Rain dripped down the sleeve of her raincoat as she clung onto the lead-rope, soon soaking her fleece below.

Their progress in the dark was painfully slow. She didn’t dare turn on the torch until the yard was out of sight, and began to worry that Cal wouldn’t wait. ‘Please, please don’t leave,’ she whispered under her breath, like a mantra. ‘Please wait.’  As if in answer, her phone vibrated in her fleece pocket.

‘Where r u?’
she read, as the screen lit up.

‘On my way,’
she managed to text back, her fingers fumbling in the dark. Fifteen more minutes crawled by and Buster suddenly halted and refused to move forward. Toni risked turning on the torch. When the beam reflected off the metal hubcaps, she felt like crying with relief.

‘At last!’ Cal’s face loomed out of the gloom. ‘You took your time.’

‘It’s pretty tough in the pitch-black,’ she defended herself.

‘I’m soaking.’ He sounded really pissed off and her heart sank.

‘It’s not my fault it’s raining, OK.’ Her voice cracked and suddenly, to her horror, she was nearly crying.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ Cal sounded alarmed now. ‘Are you chickening out?’

‘No. No,’ she managed to say. ‘Are you?’

‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ He reached out for her through the darkness and pulled her closer to him. ‘I was just worried when you didn’t show, that’s all.’

Toni felt stiff and embarrassed as he hugged her.

Please don’t kiss me again. Not now
.
Not like this.

She felt her nose running and tried to swallow a sob, then began to hiccough instead. Buster, who had been standing patiently in the dark, butted her with his head.

‘I think he’s jealous,’ Cal laughed.

Toni nodded, her tears subsiding. Buster reminded her what this was all about. ‘I’m not pulling out.’

‘Cool.’ Cal sounded sure of himself again. ‘Let’s get going then, shall we? I’ve already dropped the ramp.’

She led Buster round to the rear of the lorry and the pony hesitated. Usually he loaded easily, but nothing about tonight was as he expected. He had been taken from his field and led through the dark. And now this. She felt his fear begin to take over and he tossed his head, starting to back away.

Toni hung tightly onto the lead-rope and handed Cal the haynet. He took it and tied it in one of the stalls.

‘Hey, it’s OK, Buster. Come on. It’s me, boy.’ Toni tried to soothe him, but it wasn’t working. She found it hard to hold him using only her left arm. The whites of his eyes flashed in the dark and he was becoming increasingly agitated.

‘Here, let me have a go.’ Cal took over. ‘You go ahead into the lorry and tempt him in.’

She handed over the lead-rope reluctantly and watched as Cal took his time, patting and reassuring Buster in a low voice. Her own panic was beginning to rise again. A long hour had passed already since she left the yard. An hour closer to daylight. Dawn would be when they would discover Buster missing.

‘Hurry up!’ she hissed.

Cal ignored her, holding his ground until the pony calmed down, then walked obediently up the ramp into the lorry where Toni waited.

‘How did you manage that?’ She felt irritated he had done what she couldn’t.

‘He was sensing you’re upset, that’s all.’ Cal said. ‘Let’s get going, shall we?’

They worked silently together to put up the ramp and climbed up into the front cab.

‘You can drive this thing, can’t you?’ Toni suddenly thought to ask.

‘Of course I can.’

He turned the key and the engine roared to life, punched a destination into the satnav, then let off the handbrake and the huge lorry edged forward. As they turned onto the main road, Toni glanced back at the driveway. Within seconds the large sign which read, ‘
Arabella De Carteret. Event Yard and
Livery
’ was swallowed up by the night.

‘Last chance to change your mind?’ Cal pointed out.

‘No. I’m doing this.’ Toni was resolute. ‘I don’t have a choice.’

*************

The drive down to the New Forest seemed to last forever. By car it would have only taken an hour and a half at most, but the horse lorry was designed to carry four horses and weighed seven and a half tonnes. They only managed thirty miles an hour at best. The road twisted and turned, and Cal had to manoeuvre it round each corner in the dark, rarely even getting up into third gear

The heavy rain reduced the visibility and they sat in silence as he concentrated on driving. Toni had never been out on the roads so early in the morning before and was surprised how unsettling it felt. Everyday things like the hedges and gateways seemed eerie and threatening.

She was consumed by the enormity of what she was doing, and the possible consequences. She desperately wanted to know if Cal felt the same, but didn’t dare ask. He gave so little away. And if he regretted getting involved at all, Toni didn’t want to hear it.

In the end she retreated into sleep to escape her thoughts, waking suddenly as the lorry slowed to a crawl. She sat up again, instantly alert and saw the lights of a petrol station shining ahead of them, bright and welcoming.

‘Hey, you’re awake. We need to stop for diesel.’ Cal turned the lorry onto the forecourt and switched off the engine.

Toni rubbed her eyes and reached down for her backpack where she had put all her money. ‘I’ll go in and pay while you fill it up.’

He nodded and she left him at the pump and crossed the forecourt to the shop. She struggled with the door for a couple of minutes, but then saw the man behind the till waving at her to come around the side, where there was a small window for her to pay through.

‘You’re not allowed into the shop after midnight.’ His disembodied voice startled her and she realised he was talking through a microphone. ‘There’s some nasty people around.’

Toni nodded, as if she knew this really. The lorry seemed to take forever to fill and he continued to watch her curiously through the glass. She began to feel uncomfortable and glanced away, focusing instead on the shop with its shelves bursting with crisps and chocolate she couldn’t get at.

‘I can fetch you something from the shop if you like.’ The voice startled her again, but she shook her head, anxious now to get going as soon as possible. He would remember them for certain. A boy and young girl, stopping at three in the morning with a horse lorry.

‘That’ll be a hundred and ten pounds, thirty-six pence,’ he said at last. Toni tried to hide her shock. She knew lorries took a lot of diesel, but at this rate her money would run out pretty quickly.

She counted out the cash with trembling hands, something else he would remember. Pushing it through the small hole she fled, without waiting for her receipt.

Twenty minutes later she was still cursing herself.  ‘How could I have been so stupid! I should have let you pay.’

Cal was puzzled. ‘What difference would that have made?’

‘You look over eighteen.’

‘So do you.’

She still hadn’t told him she was only fifteen.

‘When’s your birthday anyway?’ he asked.

‘November.’

Please don’t ask how old I’ll be.

‘There you go. Only a couple of months.’

Now was the moment to tell him, she knew. Toni imagined how he’d react when he discovered the truth. He would probably stop the lorry and take her straight back home.

She let the moment pass.

‘Don’t sweat about it.’ Cal switched the radio back on. ‘There’s not much point worrying about stuff until it’s actually happened.’ He nodded to the back. ‘There’s some food in my bag if you’re hungry.’

She leant over and picked up his backpack, impressed he had thought to bring food. Inside she found a couple of bottles of water and an awful lot of cake. Chocolate cake, lemon cake and Victoria sponge.

‘You stole all this from the farm café, didn’t you?’ she accused.

‘Leftovers,’ he said, defensively. ‘It would only go as pig-food.’