Authors: Beth Loughner
The thought caused Judi to linger over the words for a moment. “Sometimes it doesn’t work for the young folks, either.”
Tilly must have heard the slight catch in Judi’s voice. Her face softened. “Nathan will do right by you.”
But I haven’t done right by him
, Judi’s soul accused right back. It was true! How could she argue with this self-judgment? Nathan always chose the high road, the straight and narrow—the path to help the greatest amount of people. He had the right character to take on the world. Even now, she could recall a time when he would have done anything for her.
“Do you know what caught my attention the first time I met Nathan?” Judi asked contemplatively, her mind actively going back in time.
“What was that, girl?” Tilly was at full attention, her eyes bright with curiosity.
“I had come to interview for a job as a legal aide in the law firm where he worked, an interview he’d obviously been relegated to perform for the first time.” A wry smile came across her lips. “He was so handsome—and nervous. He wouldn’t crack a smile for anything throughout the entire meeting, cross-examining me like a witness on the stand instead of a potential employee. Then he kept fidgeting with his papers and constantly writing things down on a clipboard. I could hardly take my eyes off of him with that cute cleft in his chin. I’m sure it made him tenser, but I didn’t care. Not when I knew right then and there that he was someone I had to know everything about, someone I’d been waiting for.”
Judi shifted on the bench and laughed as she continued.
“Finally, when we’d finished, he asked if I would fax over my references. I decided it was time for the poor man to loosen up a little. You should have seen the expression on his face when I told him I’d gladly fax over the original if he would send it right back since it was my only copy.”
Drawing her eyebrows together in bewilderment, it only took a moment for understanding to light Tilly’s eyes. “Did you finally get the smile you’d been waiting for?”
Judi nodded, feeling the prick of tears dangerously close to the surface at the endearing memory. “He looked at me with this stunned expression at first and then, like a closed flower opening for the first time, he just let out this huge, uninhibited laugh. He didn’t stop for the longest time, as if his happiness had been trapped inside for too long. It was hard not be caught up in the contagiousness of the moment. I was laughing right along with him.” Staring at her hands, she clasped them tightly together. “It was then he told me he’d do anything for me—since I seemed to be the only one who could not only make him laugh, but also knew so much about operating office equipment. He hired me on the spot—without the references.”
“That’s a sweet story, Judi.”
“And now he’s still doing everything he can for me.”
“That’s what love does for you.”
“Love?” Judi could feel her heart shrink at the word. “He’s doing what’s right because he’s respectable. I had hoped, but I think the love is gone.” She let a sigh build and slowly let it loose. “Our love has been steadily siphoned away by my distrust and deceit. I think it’s too late.”
“That’s a bunch of hogwash, girl,” Tilly replied, her voice firm.
“No,” Judi argued, shaking her head despondently. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see the look in his eyes when I accused him of sending those vile letters and then told him about my past. The whole thing disgusted him.”
“He said that?” Tilly demanded.
“He didn’t have to.”
“Seems to me you’re buying a peck of trouble without even knowin’ what’s in the basket.” Tilly wagged a finger at her. “Don’t go assumin’ anything. You listen to ol’ Tilly. I know what I’m sayin’.” Her intent eyes snapped forcefully. “I’m tellin’ you that boy loves you—but he’s scared. You’re gonna have to fight, to let him know how much you still cherish and trust him. No man likes to be made a fool of. He just wants to be loved and respected.”
“I do love and respect him!”
“Then you gotta show him!”
“I don’t know how,” Judi lamented. “There’s so little time.”
“Then it’s a good thing you got ol’ Tilly around to give you some pointers,” the older woman said with a wide, toothy smile. “Anything worth anything in this ol’ world is worth fightin’ for.”
Judi wanted to believe. Could she fight and win his love back? Another thought caused her to halt briefly. If she won the prize of his love, would she lose her precious Bay Island in the exchange? Only God knew. One thing she did know: As much as she loved her newfound life on the island, her heart could never be complete without Nathan.
She had to fight—and win.
The small aircraft bumped leisurely to a stop along the short island airstrip, and Nathan closed his eyes, still thanking God for allowing him the chance to complete the house session and see his dream bill passed by a wide margin. Pieces were falling nicely into place, including his call to the attorney. Mr. Edwards had certainly pulled enough strings to set him wondering again about the old man’s true identity.
He was sure Judi would be relieved to know such a competent attorney was working on her behalf. They would fly back tomorrow, Tuesday, to Harrisburg and meet the attorney face-to-face. Nathan hoped Mr. Edwards had been able to secure the handwriting analysis he’d promised in time for the meeting.
The weekend had been difficult. He had managed to dodge his family—but not Lindsey. They’d had a terrible quarrel, with Lindsey accusing him of seeing another woman. Little did she know! Nathan’s evasiveness only made it worse, yet he knew there was too much at stake to risk telling her the truth. It hurt to know what he was doing to her. He had no other choice.
Thomas, his legislative aide, had proved himself invaluable, seeing to every little detail at the statehouse. He’d offered his help, gone about his business, and kept Nathan’s matters to himself. What more could Nathan ask for?
Nathan unclipped his lap belt and followed the pilot as he opened the door. Standing in the arch, he saw Judi waiting patiently by the small airport tower in her golf cart. She waved her arm in greeting. He waved back and stepped off the plane.
They had talked twice on the phone while he was away. She seemed different somehow, more confident perhaps, or just calmer knowing the statehouse session had gone well and the attorney was already working on her case. He, on the other hand, had become more restless. He shouldn’t have given in to the urge to go through Judi’s belongings at their house, or worse yet, spent hours intently going through their picture albums.
The deep emotions and pain he felt were inexplicable. It was like plodding through their courtship and marriage, again leading up to the big climax where she died—where the pictures suddenly stopped. The emotions tore through him once more, like watching a movie over and over, knowing the ending, yet the suspense leading to the conclusion still gripping terribly at the heart every time.
The occasion gave him time to reflect on their past as a couple. Yes, Judi had deceived him and maligned his integrity. At the same time, he’d dismissed her concerns and legitimate needs over his desire to achieve a lifelong goal of serving the people of Pennsylvania. Noble as his gesture might have been, he’d failed as a husband. He could see that now. How he had been so blind while taking the journey was still a mystery. A man of detail should never have missed the obvious signs of his own shortcomings.
“How was your flight?” Judi greeted when he finally reached the end of the tarmac. Her strawberry-red hair flipped lightly in the afternoon breeze and her rosy cheeks seemed kissed by sun. She looked relaxed behind the wheel.
He gave her a grin. “It was a beautiful day for flying,” he answered, suddenly glad to be back on the island. “Have you been doing okay?”
“Much better now that you’re back,” she answered with a welcoming smile, her green eyes meeting his. “I’m glad you’re here!”
He frowned, tossing his bag into the back of the cart. “Why? Is something wrong?”
“No,” she said with a delicate shrug. “I just missed you, that’s all.”
Something in her eyes sent a spark along his chest and triggered his pulse to racing. The look reminded him so much of the photos he’d just seen when they’d first married, reviving yet another forgotten ember.
“Is that so hard to believe?” she went on as he slid into the passenger seat.
He turned easily toward her, resting his elbow on the seat between them. His gaze fell on her face and then her lips. Her slight smile was openly disarming.
“You’re sure everything is all right?” he asked again, marveling at her composure. This was not the same woman he had left on the island.
Slowly, she leaned close. “I’ll prove it,” came her whispery-light response. One soft hand cupped the side of his face as she gently pressed her lips to his.
Her kiss momentarily stunned him, but when she began to withdraw, her green eyes openly questioning his reaction to her gesture, his arms quickly pulled her forward again, claiming her mouth with his. The feel of her mouth and breath caused an explosion of familiar longing within him, taking him back to the happier times they had enjoyed early in their marriage. Feeling her eager response filled him with joy—and fear—that she was once again, at that moment, completely his.
Slowly, he drew her back and they stared at each other. He searched her face for recognition or acknowledgment of what they had just shared. What he saw was a mirror of his own uncertainty mixed with a strong longing and desire to be one again.
Judi traced his chin with her finger and he turned to see if anyone was watching. It was ludicrous to be sitting in a golf cart in the middle of an airport kissing like passionate lovers. The islanders would think they were kissing cousins. Thankfully, there were only two lonely bystanders wandering around the small airport tower. He didn’t know where his pilot had gone.
Judi dropped her hand. “Are you angry?” she asked, her voice husky and low.
He drew his gaze back to her. “No.”
“You’re embarrassed, then?” It was her turn to peruse the tower and airfield.
“Frankly,” Nathan said, scratching at the back of his neck, his eyes roaming back with a will of their own to her lips again, “I’m not sure what I am.” The intensity of his emotions scared him more than anything he’d encountered in the past week.
“Then I have to tell you something.”
Nathan’s heart sank. A bomb was going to land, he was sure of it. “What do you need to tell me?” he asked, bracing for the worst.
“I love you, Nathan Whithorne!”
Judi refused to turn her gaze away as she tried to capture the various emotions stirring across Nathan’s face. She had just bared her soul, open and unprotected, laying everything she had on the line with three little words. It was a risky business. He had just returned from home, and although it pained her to think about it, Nathan had most certainly spent some time with the woman he’d previously pledged to marry—another who claimed to love him. Which way would Nathan eventually turn? Was his heart torn between the two women? Right now, she was his wife and decidedly had the edge, but eventually one would be the winner and the other the loser. Surely the love they had shared in the past counted for something and the way he’d just kissed her revealed he wasn’t totally devoid of feelings for her.
“Well,” she finally asked in frustration, watching him rub the back of his neck in contemplation, “aren’t you going to say something?”
His hand dropped and he lifted one eyebrow. “Wow!”
“Wow?” Judi frowned. Was that all the man could say? Kissing Nathan had produced more than a
wow
for her—much more. It had awakened every fiber of her consciousness to the love she knew was ready to let loose. It had been suppressed and held dormant for so long, it could no longer be held against its will. If Nathan rejected her—if God chose this to be—she would resign herself to live with this onesided love, a strong bond she would never fully realize.
But she hadn’t lost the battle yet. The fight had just begun, and she didn’t plan to give up easily. With determination, Judi started the ignition.
Nathan immediately grasped her hand, his features impossible to interpret. “Now you’re angry.”
“No,” she answered, turning back toward him, feeling the warmth of his hand. “There’s no anger. Matter of fact, I can’t tell you how good it is to have you back on the island.” She returned his stare, captivated by the intensity of his exquisite gray eyes. “But we do have to get back to the business at hand. Mr. Edwards received the handwriting analysis this morning and wanted me to bring you to Tilly’s as soon as you arrived.”
His eyes immediately narrowed in interest. “Did he say anything about the results?”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “He just seemed anxious for me to get you there.”
“Then I suppose we should do as he asked.” Nathan dropped his grip on her hand and settled back into the seat, his eyes momentarily closed.
Judi turned the cart around and started down the long drive next to the runway. She gave him a quick sideways glance. “I turned in my resignation today.”