BBW ROMANCE: BWWM Romance: A Cowboy’s Southern Comfort (Military Cowboy Pregnancy Romance) (Interracial Army Contemporary Fantasy Romance Short Stories) (3 page)

Before he knew what he was doing, his hands were on her. Rubbing against her arms, her legs, her perfect ass.

He moved his hand to her clothed breast and squeezed. She moaned again and he felt the blood rush to his groin as he moved his lips forward to kiss along her neck.

As his eyes flew closed he felt her warm hands reach towards his abdomen and snaked underneath his shirt. Suddenly desperate for skin to skin contact, he moved back from her, lifted his shirt and threw it to the side. He did the same with his pants and boxers then turned his attention to the woman at his side.

Much more slowly, he reached his hands to her night shirt and, with her help, lifted it gently over her head. Before long, she was there in front of him. Completely exposed, completely vulnerable and completely beautiful.

If he had had time to reflect, he would have been shocked by that thought. He had never found large women particularly attractive before. But, then again, this was not just any woman. This was Felicia. And, no matter what her stomach or hips looked like, she would always be beautiful to him.

Hungrily, desperately, he pulled his arms around her and pressed her into him. He tried his best to be gentle as he entered her, tried as hard as he could to be slow and soothing and loving. But, he knew that his passion got the better of him.

He could not help it. He was so, completely desperate for her. Not just for her body, but for everything she was. All her smiles, her laugh even her eyebrow raises and exasperated sighs. He wanted every single part of her.

And, as he heard his cry of pleasure mingle with hers, he knew that that was what she had given him.

***

Needless to say, Felicia did not move out. Two weeks had passed since their first night together and, since then, they had shared a bed nearly every night.

Despite that, almost nothing else about their relationship had changed. Felicia still worked as though she was earning her keep. Jake still asked her to go into town for him. They laughed at all the same silly things like reality tv shows and stupid politicians. And, what seemed most important, they never talked about what happened between them at night.

There were times when Jake felt was though they should mention it. There were times when, he thought, if he were a truly good man, he would cook a lavish candlelight dinner for Felicia, sit her down and tell her exactly what she meant to him.

But, every time he thought of doing that or, at least, something similar, a ball of anxiety formed in the pit of his stomach. If he brought what they shared out into the open, if he named it, there was a very real chance that it could change.

And, he was not altogether sure that he wanted it to change. What they had now, after all, was good. Very good. Truth be told, it was better than any relationship he had ever been a part of.

There was no drama. No games. No little rules to follow. He had a friend in the day and a lover at night. He couldn’t imagine anything better. And, what’s more, Felicia didn’t seem too fussed about changing things either.

She smiled more now than he had ever seen her smile before they started this...whatever this was. She hummed as she worked. She threw him little winks and chuckled as he walked by. She seemed happy. Blissfully happy even. And, if this was what made Felicia happy, Jake knew he did not want to put an end to that.

So, he let it go on exactly like that. Until the day that bad fortune intervened.

Felicia had been in town the day the letter arrived. He knew what it was as soon as he saw the United States Army seal. None the less he opened it.

There it was in black ink on bright, white paper. He was being deployed again. He was going back to Afghanistan. His hands shook as he held the paper in his hands. He stared at the words far longer than he knew was either necessary or entirely healthy.

His mind became a buzz with a million problems and questions. Could he go back after what happened last time? Should he go back? Would he freak out and be a distraction to his unit? Maybe get someone else killed?

Then there was Felicia. What was he going to tell her? He would have to tell her the truth, he knew that. But, this paper, this small piece of paper, forced the issue of them.

If she was going to wait for him while he was over there, she would have to know how he felt about her. But, then, what if she didn’t want to wait for him? What if this was just a meaningless fling to her?

Either way, he would have to find out. He resolved firmly in his mind to talk to her that night over dinner.

When she came home, however, he discovered that something was already occupying her mind.

“I need to talk to you,” she said as soon as he opened the door for her. Her arms were filled with groceries culminating with Buddy’s dog food at the top of the bag.

He could see that her face was flushed. Her expression was half way between concerned and excited.

“Well, I was actually hoping to talk to you too,” Jake said awkwardly as she moved past him and into the kitchen. He followed after her.

“I got some news today,” he continued. “I was hoping we could talk about it over dinner.”

“That’s funny because I got some news too,” she said. “Only mine can’t wait until dinner.”

He could now hear that her voice was shaking. Though, whether it was nerves, elation or a mixture of both, he couldn’t be sure.

“Just let me get this stuff put away,” she said. “Then I’ll come talk to you about it in the living room.”

“Ok,” he answered.

He moved into the living room with trepidation wondering what Felicia could possibly have learned in town. His heart nearly dropped to his stomach when an idea came to him. She had found another place to live.

Maybe she wanted to tell him that her bid on an apartment or maybe even a house had gone through. That she would be moving out. He didn’t know if he could bear the thought of that.

When she came into the living room, he turned to her and tried his best to give her a carefree smile. Despite what he was certain her news would be, despite the dark cloud, his own news had settled over both of them.

To his surprise, she didn’t return the smile. Instead, she bit her lip and sat next to him on the couch. It was a moment before she took a breath and spoke.

“Jake,” she said shakily. “What...what am I to you?”

He blinked and stared at her. Once, twice, three times he tried to open his mouth to speak but, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t force any sound to come out.

Felicia shifted her eye to the side and looked down.

“It’s just...what I’m going to say could...well...no...will definitely change things and I…” she took a deep breath and looked back up at him. “I just want to make sure you’re on board.”

“On board for what?” Jake asked lamely. His voice sounded ridiculously flat even to his own ears.

At the sound, he saw the nervous excitement leave Felicia’s eyes entirely and a look of dread replaced it.

“Well, I’m not sure I should even say it now,” she said. There was now a harsh tone to her voice as though Jake had made her angry somehow. He would have to do something to make up for it. He knew that.

He looked down desperately as though looking for a lifeline. He found her hands. Hesitantly, he reached out to touch one. Very aware that they never touched during the day. Perhaps that was why she jumped when his skin met hers.

“Look, Felicia,” he said, “whatever it is...we’ll figure it out. It doesn’t mean things have to change.”

“Trust me they will,” she said quietly. The harsh tone was still present but she didn’t sound quite as angry as she had before.

“Just tell me,” he said. “Either way, we can’t talk about it unless I know.”

She looked at him, eyes wide. He could feel her hand beginning to shake beneath his. Whatever she was going to tell him, it was huge for her.

Finally, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.

As soon as she did, they both jumped and turned towards the front door. A distinct, hard tapping was issuing from it. Someone was clearly knocking to get in.

***

Jake immediately let go of Felicia’s hand and made his way towards the door. Just as he reached it, Buddy skidded into the room barking and howling wildly.

“Felicia call Buddy, would you?” he asked irritably. She did and Buddy with a high pitched whine hurried towards her even as another knock, more insistent this time sounded from the front door.

“Were you expecting anyone?” Felicia asked from her spot on the couch. Jake looked over his shoulder and he could see that she was now holding Buddy by his collar as he strained to reach Jake and the front door.

“No,” Jake answered even more hesitantly. A loud thud issued from the front door. Causing Buddy to whine once more and Felicia to jump.

Straightening himself up to his full height, Jake reached out to the handle of the door and pulled it open.

On the other side was a large black man who rivaled Jake in terms of height and far outranked him in weight.

“Yes?” Jake asked trying his best to sound intimidating.

“I’m here for my daughter,” the man said trying to push past him. Jake stepped in front of him.

“Your-”

“Felicia!” the man called loudly now looking around Jake and into the room.

“Daddy?” Jake heard Felicia ask hesitantly. She moved to the door and was soon standing beside Jake.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Asked in town,” he said. “They told me you’d be here. I thought it might be time you came home.”

Jake looked between Felicia and the man in the doorway. The man’s eyes were still hard and Felicia’s face looked lighter than usual. Almost as though she had gone pale. She was clearly terrified of this man.

“Look,” the man said, his face still hard. Voice still intimidating. “I’m sorry I lost my temper. That’s the last time. I’ll get it under control. I promise.”

Jake looked back at Felicia. He noticed that her eyes kept darting back and forth between Jake and her father. As though she was uncertain what to do.

When Jake looked back at the large man in the doorway, saw the hardness in his face and the man’s hands beginning to ball into fists, a protective urge forced Jake to make the decision for her.

“She doesn’t have to go anywhere with you,” he said stepping forward towards the man. “And I would appreciate it if you would get off my property.”

“My girl can speak for herself,” the large man said completely unfazed in the face of Jake’s threat. He looked back to his daughter over Jake’s shoulder.

“Well?” he asked, “are you coming back, Felicia?”

Jake looked over to Felicia who swallowed and shook her head ‘no’.

“Not this time, Daddy,” she said.

The large man’s eyes went wide with surprise for one moment before he stepped forward once again as though to push past Jake and force his daughter out of the house.

“She said no,” Jake said blocking his path. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Felicia hurriedly return to the couch and the coffee table.

“Now, I think it would be best for everyone if you left.”

The man’s hands balled into fists once more. And, for half a moment, Jake thought he would have to fight this man there on his front step.

A moment, later, however, the man’s hands unclenched and he stepped back.

“Ok,” he said moving away from both Jake and the front door. “Ok, I’m going.”

He turned to leave but almost as soon as he did, he turned back. Jake stepped in front of the door once more, readying himself for a confrontation.

The man did not move towards him. Simply called out to his Daughter inside the house.

“Felicia! I’ll be staying at the inn in town if you change your mind,” he called. “I’m heading out tomorrow morning.”

With that, he turned and left.

Jake found that his hands were shaking once again as he closed the door. When he turned back to Felicia, his heart dropped into his stomach.

She was not sitting on the couch. Instead, she was standing next to the coffee table. The white piece of paper with the US Army seal was shaking in her hands.

***

“Felicia-” he began.

“When were you going to tell me?” she asked heatedly. Angry tears seemed to be welling in her eyes.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about over dinner,” he said. “I just got the news today.”

“So...so what does this mean for us?” she asked. “I mean...you said you didn’t want things to change but...wouldn’t this change things?”

“I guess it would,” he said. Once again he realized how flat and noncomital his voice sounded. She heard it too. That was why she gave him a snort filled with irony and, when he looked up at her, she was wearing that expression. The one she always wore when she thought he was being a complete idiot.

“You guess?” she asked. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked suddenly harsh. The confrontation with Felicia’s father was still playing in his mind. And, the more he thought about his deployment, the more he thought about Felicia having to wait for him at the ranch when he might never come back. When he might end up dead on some dirt road in Afghanistan...the more he realized that he didn’t want that for her.