Be Good (19 page)

In between heaving sobs, I thought I heard a soft knock on the door. At first, I thought it was my imagination but then the
knocking continued. I rushed over to answer it hoping it would be Brett.

I heaved a heavy sigh of disappointment when I saw it was Jay. He had his hands in his pockets and looked forlorn. “I just came by to make sure you were okay.”

He was nervously kicking at something on the floor.

“Thanks,” I said.

He looked up at me. I was sure I looked like a complete wreck. Swollen eyes. Red nose. Hair askew. The whole nine.

“You’re not okay, are you?”

I shook my head.

“It’s that guy, isn’t it?
The one on the dance floor. I saw him follow you to the bathroom.” Maybe Jay had a little more on the ball than I initially gave him credit for.

“His name is Brett,” I said even though I wasn’t sure why.

“I know what it’s like to love somebody, who wants somebody else.” Jay apparently had a lot more going on upstairs than I thought.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked.

He nodded.

We stood there for an awkward moment just looking at each other. Then Jay said, “I just want you to know that you’re exceptionally cool and totally hot.”

We both laughed. “You know what I mean,” Jay continued. “If I had someone like you, I’d never let you go.”

“Thanks
.” I gave Jay a kiss on the cheek.

“If you ever just
wanna hang out or something, let me know.”

“I will,” I said, even though I knew I never would.

***

I yawned as I dragged my suitcase onto the elevator. I breathed a small sigh of relief as the elevator door started to close. I wanted to avoid contact with any other human being, if possible, because I looked like total dog shit. There wasn’t enough concealer on
the planet Earth to cover the redness and swelling under my eyes and my nose had been blown so much there were actual blisters forming under my nostrils.

I would have no such luck. A hand stopped the doors from closing just at the last minute. Because the universe has a perverse sense of humor, of course, it was Brett, who stepped into the elevator.

I must have known somewhere deep inside we’d run into each other. I felt like we both had homing devises that connected us on some deep unconscious level. And knowing that we’d see each other one last time, I did what any girl would do. I wore his Pearl Jam shirt. The one, he’d sort of given me the first time we were together.

He took in a breath when he saw me. “You look so good in my shirt.” He seemed to say it without thinking. When our eyes met, his looked full of sadness and regret.

“Where’s your friend?” Brett asked.

“I don’t have any friends,” I said coldly.

I knew he wanted to ask if I’d slept with Jay but he couldn’t find the right words to do it. I let him stew for a few seconds before I said, “I was alone last night.”

He let out a breath.

“But you weren’t,” I added. “Where’s Becca?”

Brett averted my gaze and looked down at his sneakers. “She had to make a few phone calls. She’s meeting me downstairs. We’re going to share a cab to the airport.”

“That’s nice.” There was acid in my tone.

“I never meant to hurt you
. I still love you.”

We met each other’s gaze again. All the feelings we ever had for each other were bubbling up to the surface. I thought Brett might kiss me but the elevator door opened on the fourth floor and we both looked out. No one got on and the door closed again.

“You made your choice, Brett. If you’re going to be with Becca, you have to give me up. You can’t have both of us.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I know,” he said but he sounded lost.

When our eyes met for the last time, he placed his hand on my cheek and held it there. I inhaled his scent and enjoyed his touch for the few seconds we still had together.

“Be good,” he whispered.

“I always am.” 

When the elevator door opened to the lobby,
Becca was waiting for him.

Eleven

When I got home, I sat at the kitchen counter and stared at Marvin. He was getting so big and looked like he was getting ready to bloom. Pretty soon I’d have to move him to an even bigger pot. I considered planting him outside, where he’d have room to grow and thrive. It made me wonder what it would take for me to grow and thrive.

I knew the first step was getting back on the wagon. One good thing that came out of Las Vegas was that I finally realized nothing good was going to come out of drinking and I finally felt ready to give it up for good.

I got on my laptop and sent an email to my counselor asking if she had any appointments available for the following week.

Then I popped over to Facebook. I saw that Sweater Vest had already posted a bunch of photos of her great time in Vegas with her fiancé.

That struck me like an arrow through the heart. I obviously knew they had gotten back together but they were already back to being engaged that quickly? I felt like I was going to throw up. Whatever small scrap of hope I still had that Brett and I might be able to work things out was completely and totally decimated. When I told Brett to get over me, I didn’t think it would happen in a few hours. They must have talked about getting married again way before I saw Brett in the elevator. But that’s when he told me he still loved me. How could he marry her when he still had feelings for me?

I didn’t want to see or hear any more from either one of them. I decided they both deserved each other. I scrolled to Brett’s profile and quickly
Unfriended him before I had a chance to change my mind.

A few minutes later, I received an email from Brett asking me why I had
Unfriended him on Facebook. I thought of all the nasty responses I could throw at him but decided against all of them. As good as it might have felt to lash out for a few moments, it wouldn’t have really made me feel any better about the situation. I decided I was done with being nasty and I was done with Anna’s Flaw List for that matter. I was doing my best to be a better person and maybe even grow and thrive like Marvin. I knew it would take time but I was willing to get there one baby step at a time.

I ignored Brett’s email and did a Google search for
becoming a party planner
instead.

It was
one month until my sister’s wedding. I decided I needed to make some big changes in my life. I realized what I’d been doing was no longer working. My former life as a party girl had become like an old sweater, which no longer fit. The problem was now that I had out grown the sweater  I was so accustomed to wearing, I wasn’t sure what was going to replace it. 

The only thing I knew for sure was that it wasn’t going to be a sweater vest.

I found a website online about a party planning service in Phoenix. The website was fresh and fun and I immediately felt connected with it. I emailed the owner and asked about meeting her. I told her I wanted to know more about the business and how she got into it. She got back to me almost immediately.

In her email, she said she was looking for an intern. She a
dmitted that she couldn’t pay much but felt like she could offer the right person great experience. I made an appointment to meet with her the next day on my lunch hour.

Her office was in a quiet area in central Phoenix
set between a dermatologist and a psychiatrist in a small office complex. The sign on the door read: Power Party Planning by Penny Power and Friends. Cute, I thought, as I entered.

The owner, Penny Power,
arrived almost immediately to greet me. She looked to be in her mid-30s but what struck me most about her was that she could have been my sister. She looked more like me than my actual sister. She had beautiful blonde hair and sparkling green eyes. I hoped I looked that good in 10 years.

“You must be Anna,” she said as she took my hand in hers. I immediately felt comfortable with her and knew I would do almost anything to get the job.

“Thanks for emailing me your resume,” she said. “Please have a seat.” She motioned over to a small sitting area with a table and two comfortable looking chairs.

After we both sat down, she said, “I was a communications major in college, too.”

I smiled. It had been a while since I’d been interviewed for a job and I felt out of practice. She continued, “Business has been picking up and I really need some help but I’ve been having a difficult time finding the right fit. That’s why I was so excited when I saw your resume. You’ve got real work experience in a professional setting, which is great.”

“Thank you
.” I didn’t know whether to continue. She hadn’t actually asked me a question.

“So, do you enjoy being a paralegal?”

I didn’t know whether to lie or tell the truth. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t like working but being a paralegal wasn’t my thing. I treaded cautiously. “I feel like I contribute to the organization. I’m a reliable employee. But I’d prefer a job I could feel more passionate about.”

She nodded as if she understood. “And you think party pla
nning is something you could be passionate about?”

“I do.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay?” I wanted to make sure her
okay
meant the same thing as my
okay
.

“You’re hired. When can you start?”

“I’d like to give my employer at least a week’s notice.” Although I had a suspicion my brother created work for me most of the time and wouldn’t miss me very much.

“Fair enough.
So you can start next week?”

I nodded. “Thank you so much for this opportunity.”

“Thank you for taking it.”

W
e both rose and I followed her to the door.

My life was slowly starting to change and the new outfit to replace the old sweater I’d outgrown was beginning to emerge.

***

“What’s all this for?” Winter said as she came home and saw me cooking dinner.

“I got a new job,” I declared. “Let’s celebrate.”

“What are you going to be doing?”

“Party planning!”

Winter grinned. “I don’t think there could be a more perfect job for you.”

She was right. My heart was opening back up again. But this time, it wasn’t because of a guy. It was because I was feeling alive and passionate about my new career.

“Have you ever actually cooked before?” Winter
asked as she inspected the pots boiling in the kitchen.

“Not really,” I admitted.

“Well, if this doesn’t work out, we can always order pizza. Delivery in fifteen minutes or its free.”

We both laughed.

I stayed home all weekend and hung out with Winter and her weird witch friends. They were odd but also oddly endearing. I found out that we liked some of the same music and they loved movies, just like I did. I didn’t miss going out and drinking like I thought I would. Maybe my counselor was right and I had finally become sick and tired of being sick and tired. The whole party scene just felt like a grind that didn’t appeal to me that much anymore.

On Sunday night, I got ready for my new job. I was nervous and excited and I tried to pick out the perfect outfit for my first day at work.

Power Party Planning by Penny Power and Friends had three other employees in addition to me and Penny: Haley, her sister Kaylee and their cousin, Bailey. My first day at work felt more like joining a sorority than actually working. But we got a lot accomplished and had fun doing it. The girls, as they told me to call them, immediately made me feel at ease and I knew for once I had made a good decision.

When I left the law office, my brother gave me a hug and told me he was proud of me. It was the first time anyone in my family had every praised me about anything. He told me he had seen a lot of changes in me and he thought I was finally growing up. Maybe he was right.

***

The next few weeks went by in a flurry of activity. Party planning was no 8 to 5 gig. The girls sometimes worked 12 or 14 hour days and they often worked on weekends as well. I was exhausted but I loved every minute of it. I was no longer the aimless party girl. I finally felt like my life had some meaning and direction as a party planner.

When the day of my sister’s wedding arrived, I felt like an expert in the field. I arrived to her house Friday afternoon and she was in a state of panic. Things were falling apart quickly and she didn’t know what to do. I had never seen my control-freak surgeon sister in such as state of chaos.

“No problem,” I said as I grabbed her elbow and made he sit down. “I can fix everything.

She looked at me like I had just arrived in a space ship and had three heads.

“Watch,” I said confidently. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and excused myself. Four phone calls later, everything was fixed.

“How in the world did you manage that?” My sister was incredulous.

“Didn’t our brother mention I’ve been working as a party planner?”

She shook her head.

“For three weeks
.”

“And you already know enough to fix everything that had gone wrong?”

I gave her a look that said what she had asked me to do was the simplest thing in the world. And truth be told, it wasn’t that difficult.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this
to you, little sister, but you actually saved my life. The party planner that I have been paying major money hasn’t been able to fix the problems and it’s been weeks. I was actually considering cancelling the wedding. I can’t believe you marched in here and solved everything in a matter of minutes.”

“What can I say? I’m just a natural.”

And for the first time in my life, my sister gave me a hug.

I was trying to keep my sister calm in the dressing area of the wedding chapel. My sister and brother-in-law
were not religious and didn’t want a church ceremony, so they decided on a beautiful wedding hall that also had a chapel for more formal ceremonies.

My sister and I both jumped when there was a pounding on the door. I rose to answer and saw my father standing there, his face
distorted with a strange expression.

“What’s wrong dad?” I
asked as I studied his features. My dad had the rugged face of a person, who worked outdoors even though he was a surgeon and spent almost every waking moment in a surgical unit in the hospital.

“There’s someone here, who insists in seeing you?”

I furrowed my brow. “Is it my roommate?”

“It’s not the witch.” Even though I had called my roommate the witch many time
s in the past, hearing my dad say it with such contempt in his voice irritated me.

“Then who is it?” I snapped.

“A young man. He says he won’t leave until he talks to you. He’s actually caused a bit of a scene.”

I cringed at the thought of one of the many guys from my past causing a scene at my sister’s wedding. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll take care of it.”

“You’d better,” my dad yelled as he marched away.

“I’ll be right back,” I called to my sister as I headed toward the entrance to the chapel.

My face nearly fell to the floor when I saw Brett pacing nervously near the entrance.

When he saw me, and our eyes met, a jolt of heat surged through my body. “What are you doing here?” I managed to get out before my throat went completely dry.

“You invited me,” he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“I know but that was before…” I didn’t know what to say.
Before Becca came back into your life
.
Before you completely broke my heart
.
Before I never thought I’d see you again
.

Brett was wearing a black tux with a vest and shirt that matched my bridesmaid
’s dress perfectly. I wondered how he had done that or if it was just a coincidence.

“I need to talk to you,” Brett
declared .

“I’m a little busy
. My sister’s getting married in less than an hour.”

“This will only take a minute.”

When I saw the look of determination on Brett’s face I knew he wasn’t going to leave until I heard what he had to say.

“Fine,” I sighed.

Brett moved in close to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips. Any barrier I thought I’d erected to protect me from getting hurt again completely melted away.

“I never should have left you. I made a mistake and I’m so
rry.”

Did he really think he could just march back into my life and I would take him back? Part of me was completely furious, another part of me was indignant but
a small part of me was ready to throw my arms around him and take him back without hesitation.

But I was done being easy. If Brett wanted me back, he’d have to work for it.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “What about your fiancé?’