Be Good (6 page)

“
Daisies are a symbol of loyal love,” he explained as we walked towards to car.

“I never knew that
.” I wondered if that meant he loved me.

“I’m a wealth of useless information
.”

Once we were back in the car and on the road, just as I e
xpected, he brought up Penny for discussion.

“Do you want to talk about what happened at the bakery?”
The way he said it I knew it wasn’t a question. Brett expected us to discuss the incident but phrased it as a question to be polite. He was the master of good-manners. I was the opposite of polite, if there was such a thing. I was rude and crude, or so I had been told
(Flaws 86
and
72
).

I already knew Brett was the type of person, who liked to process things. He talked about his thoughts and feelings with
ease. I was the type, who drank to numb my feelings so I didn’t have to deal with them.

When I didn’t immediately respond, Brett said, “Why did you grip my hand so tightly when you saw Penny?”

I knew I was going to have to admit I had been snooping on his Facebook page and I knew he and Sweater Vest had been engaged. And I wanted to know why he had never told me.

“Because Penny looks a lot like your ex fiancé and she obv
iously has a mad crush on you.”

“How did you know
Becca and I were engaged?” he asked quietly.

“How do you think?”
My tone was a bit too curt and I immediately regretted it.

“Facebook,” he
replied softly. He seemed so sad. It was such a sharp contrast from the happy person I had seen in the garden and in the market, it was heart breaking.

“Why didn’t you tell me the two of you were engaged? That was an important piece of information to leave out, don’t you think?” 

“I’m sorry,” he responded, with pain in his voice.

“Guys lie to me all the time, Brett, so
it isn’t anything new. I just didn’t expect you to lie to me like all the other guys.” I actually didn’t care that most guys lied to me. I considered it par for the course but for some reason I cared a lot when Brett did.

We were both quiet for what seemed like an eternity. The
n Brett said, “Can you ever forgive me?”

“Why did you lie to me?”  I could hear the hurt in my voice.

He didn’t answer immediately and I wondered if he was going to. Was I even worth the trouble?

He cleared his throat
. “I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to know that my fiancé left me for someone else.”

It was as if someone
forced all of the air out of the car. I was suddenly struggling to breathe. “That must have sucked,” I managed to say.

He let out a
feeble laugh. “It did suck.”

“I’m sorry,” I said more seriously. “That must have hurt.” Not that I knew from personal experience. I had never been committed to anyone longer than a wild weekend.

“It still does,” he admitted which stung a bit. It was the first time I considered the possibility that he might still have feelings for Sweater Vest. My heart sank. I wasn’t sure how I could ever compete with Rebecca, who seemed to be his perfect fit in every way.

He grabbed my hand and lifted it to his mouth
then gently kissed it. “I care about you, Anna. I’m ready to move on and I want to move on with you. I hope you’ll let me.”

“As long as I’m not just some rebound girl.”

“I would never consider you
just some
anything and you’re definitely not
just some rebound girl
. You are everything a guy could ever want and the fact that you’re with me is completely mind boggling.”

I was stunned
, speechless, which was a first. Generally, I was
everything a guy could ever want
but just for one night.   

“Don’t ever lie to me again
.”

“I won’t
. I promise.”

And I believed him.

Four

When we got back to Brett’s townhouse,
my stomach started to growl.

“I’d better feed you,” Brett
chuckled as we unpacked the groceries. “We can have a late lunch early dinner. We’ll call it
linner
.”

“
Linner
is much better than
dunch
! Who would ever want to eat
dunch
?”

We both laughed. It felt good to finally release some of the tension that had built up between us.

“Do you want to sit in the garden while I cook?” Brett suggested

“I’d love to help you make
linner.”

Brett thought about it for a moment. “As much as I’d rather cook for you and serve you, I can tell you want to help, so okay, let’s do it.”

That made me wonder if he and Sweater Vest ever cooked together or if she just let him do all of the cooking or maybe he always took her out to eat. I had to stop thinking about the two of them and their relationship or it was going to drive me crazy.

We both washed our hands in the kitchen sink and I said, “So, let me know what you want me to do.”

“Why don’t you start cutting up veggies and getting a salad together? I’ll start preparing the fish and the garlic bread.”

“Yes, Sir,” I
saluted and got the veggies together.

Thirty minutes later, we had everything ready. “Now we just have to get the table in the garden set and everything will be perfect,” Brett
stated .

I wished it was that easy to make everything perfect.

When I stepped into Brett’s backyard, it was like stepping into a fairytale garden. It was luscious and colorful. I thought it was the most beautiful place I had ever seen in my life. 

Brett looked nervous. “Do you like it?” he asked tentatively.

I shook my head. “I don’t like it. I absolutely love it!”

That made Brett smile. “You’re the first person to see it, ot
her than me.”

I gulped. I had assumed Sweater Vest had been to Brett’s townhouse
but she obviously hadn’t. That made me smile.

“Thank you for sharing this with me. It’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

We set
a small dining table Brett had placed in the corner of the garden near a small coy pond and fountain. Then we brought out the food and sat down.

“Your garden is truly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
.” As I continued admiring the surroundings.

“You sitting here is what makes the garden beautiful
.” Brett took my hand in his then lifted my hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on it.

The food was delicious. After I’d eaten every bite on
my plate, I was tempted to lift the plate and lick it clean. That’s how good it was.

“I know I’ve said it before, but you’re a wonderful cook
.”

“You’re a wonderful helper
. Terrific salad.”

“You know it’s not necessary to constantly try and impress me
.” 

Brett fidgeted in his seat and looked uncomfortable and I immediately regretted mentioning it. But he seemed to be putting so much pressure on himself to win me
over like I was some kind of prize. If anything, I felt more like a booby prize but that was another issue entirely.

“I know I’m not good enough for you
.” When he looked into my eyes, Brett looked so vulnerable it made me want to hug him. I never had such a strong urge to comfort anyone in my life. Brett was the only one to bring those feelings out in me. It scared me because it made me feel vulnerable, too.

Brett
continued. “I’ll never be good enough for you. But I’m doing everything I know how to win your love.”

I could feel a teardrop slide down my cheek. I couldn’t b
elieve he said he wasn’t good enough for me. I was the one who didn’t feel good enough for him.

“Let’s sit on the couch and talk,” Brett suggested. “We can clean up the dishes later.”

He led me over to a small outdoor furniture set on the other side of the garden located around a small fire pit. We both sat on the settee and Brett put his arm around me. “Tell me what’s on your mind,” he said softly. “I can tell something’s bothering you.”

I took a deep breath.
I wasn’t the type to engage in deep conversation but Brett seemed so sincere. “Why do you care so much about me? Why do you want to hear about all the craziness going on inside my head?”

Brett look
ed puzzled. “Because I want to be with you. I want to know everything about you. That’s what people do when they’re in a relationship.”

“No one has ever cared enough about me to even ask,” I a
dmitted.

Brett looked stunned. He couldn’t have looked more stunned if I had slapped him. “No one?” he repeated as if he hadn’t heard me correctly.

I shook my head. “Nope. Not even my parents or siblings.” Not that I had really given them a chance.

It was time to test Brett. I would give him an idea of who I really was to see if he still wanted to be with me. I mentally prepared myself to pack and leave just in case he didn’t like what he heard.

“My mother is a successful lawyer and my dad is an equally successful surgeon. My older and more perfect siblings, followed in their footsteps. My older sister became an even more successful surgeon and my older brother became an even more successful lawyer. Despite all of my parents’ monumental efforts to turn their youngest child into another über-successful clone of themselves, I was and still remain, nothing but a disappointment and a complete fuck-up. By the time I was 8-years old, my parents had pretty much given up on me. I was sneaking out of the house by the time I was 12, when I started drinking and having sex. By the time I was 14, I had firmly established my reputation as a party girl. Since then, I’ve spent countless weekends drunk and slept with more guys than I can remember. I have nothing to show for myself but a crappy job and a crappy apartment that I share with a witch and her evil cat.”

“Why do you call your roommate a witch?” Was that all he got out of everything I just
confessed?

I eyed him suspiciously.
“Because she literally is a witch. She calls herself a Wiccan, dresses in all black and participates in all kinds of weird rituals with her crazy witch friends.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything else. It was weird. Half of me expected him to show me to the door and thank me for coming while he kicked me out.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek instead.

“Now you can understand why I have a flaw list. And why it’s extremely long.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Brett said matter-of-factly. When our eyes met, I felt like he was trying to look into my soul. “I love your flaws. They make you interesting and challenging. Of course, I’ve only heard a dozen of them so far but I’m looking forward to discovering the rest.”

“Are you serious?” 

He nodded then gave me a soft kiss. “I’m very serious about you,” he whispered.

“You really love
my flaws?”

He
nodded and placed his hand on my cheek. “Haven’t you figured out that I love everything about you? I just wish you’d
let
me love you.”

I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks again.

“Please don’t cry,” Brett said softly as he brushed the tears from my face.

“I may have slept with a lot of guys but this relationship stuff is all new to me.”

Brett nodded. “I know. It’s okay. That’s why I want to take things slowly. There’s no rush. We’ve got the rest of our lives to figure things out.”

I had never planned further than tomorrow and Brett was talking about the rest of our lives. It seemed crazy
and scary as hell but it also sounded pretty nice.

***

Brett had a huge flat screen television that seemed to take up an entire wall.

“I guess you really like TV,” I joked.

He shrugged. “I mostly watch movies.” He pointed to a DVD collection. “Here are the new additions to my collection.”

The new additions were all of my favorite movies. Brett had remembered my Top Ten favorite movies from when we were in the hotel in Phoenix after our first time together. He made sure he
added every movie to his collection.

“What would you like to watch?” Brett asked.

“Why don’t you pick?”

He grabbed
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
. “I haven’t seen this one yet. And it comes highly recommended.”

I had seen
the movie several hundred times but Brett seemed to be enthusiastic about the choice. I was more interested in the possibility of cuddling on the couch, which is exactly what we did.

Brett held my hand and softly
caressed my fingers and arm but he didn’t go any further. He kept his word about taking this slow. The only problem was that my body wasn’t used to slow. I had been conditioned to getting busy on living room couches from the time I hit puberty. My teen years were marked by my seeing only the first half of dozens of movies.

But there was no getting busy with Brett.
At least not this weekend. He had made that extremely clear. The more time I spent with him, though, the less I thought about seducing him. I actually liked talking with him and doing things other than having sex. Spending time with a guy and not having sex never occurred to me before Brett came into my life. How sad is that?

Even though I was tired after the movie ended, I wasn’t ready for our
evening together to end. So, I was disappointed when Brett mentioned turning in for the night.

“Can I see your bedroom?” I blurted as we both stood.

Brett arched his eyebrows.

I shook my head. “I don’t mean that,” I said quickly. “I just want to see what it looks like.”

He looked a little uncomfortable and that made me want to see it even more.

“Isn’t your laptop in your bedroom? That’s the reason you brought me her
e, isn’t it? To prove that you had my bikini shot on your laptop? That and to get your Pearl Jam tee shirt back, which I’m keeping by the way.”

“I figured I’d lost the shirt for good. Maybe I’ll show you my laptop tomorrow.”

I wasn’t use to not getting my way with guys but Brett was a tough nut to crack. I decided to bring out the heavy artillery.

“Please,” I said as sweetly as I could manage and then batted my eyelashes at him.

I could see him gulp. After a moment, he said, “You’re not going to give up until I show you, are you?”

I shook my head.

“Okay,” he finally agreed.

***

His bedroom was painted burgundy and the furniture was heavy dark wood. It looked expensive.

“This is nice
.” I looked around. “I like the artwork you selected.” He had picked several Gustav Klimt prints. My parents were fans of his work, so I was familiar with it.

Then I saw a framed photo of Brett and Sweater Vest sitting on his nightstand. I froze. I could feel my cold heart sink to the floor. Actually, it didn’t sink;
it was more like my cold heart dropped like a rock and cracked into pieces.

I could feel my legs moving over to the photo and I couldn’t stop them. I stood inches from it just staring at it. They looked so happy together.
And cute. They really had been the perfect couple.

I could feel Brett step up behind me. “I’m sorry. I should have put that away. I didn’t know you were going to come in here.”

“Do you still love her?” I managed to say.

“I don’t know.”

At least he was honest. I turned to face him. His eyes were getting wet. “Let me see your laptop,” I demanded. He wiped at a tear that had escaped down his cheek.

“I want to see your laptop,” I insisted.

He went over to the small desk in the corner of his room and powered on the laptop. We both stood in front of it waiting for it to start.

When it was finally operational, he played around with it until a slideshow popped up that I assumed acted as a screensaver. The first photo was of me but it wasn’t a bikini shot. It was one taken at the wedding of me posing with my small bridesmaid’s bouquet. That made me smile for about five seconds until I saw the rest of the slideshow.

They were all photos of Sweater Vest. Or Brett and Sweater Vest. Random shots from college, homecoming, graduation. There had to be twenty different shots. Then it was back to my lone photo.

“I haven’t had time to change the slideshow photos,” Brett said half-heartedly. I knew he worked long hours and that was probably half true but I also knew enough about Brett to realize he was the type of person, who made time to do the things he wanted to do.