Be Good (10 page)

A few
minutes later, Winter come home. We usually ignored each other but today she stopped and looked at my plant.

“Why is there a
Dracaena on the counter?”

Why did everyone know the type of plant but me? And I was the one who purchased it. How pathetic is that?

“I’m trying to save it,” I answered.

“Good luck with that. It’s pretty messed up.”

“I know.”

“Do you really think you can save it?”

I shrugged.

“How much did you pay for it?”

“Two dollars.”

“You got ripped off.”

With that, Winter grabbed her bag, headed into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

I was alone again with
Marvin, the plant symbolic of me.

Six

The week seemed to drag by. My brother noticed something was going on because he called me into his office late Thursday afternoon.

“So?” My brother looked up from his stack of contracts. “You’re not your usual cold and heartless self. What’s going on?”

I shrugged. I wasn’t used to discussing any aspect of my life with Jake, especially not my love life, if you could even call it that.

“Does it have anything to do
with you going away for the long weekend?”

“Maybe.”

“Look, I know we haven’t exactly been close.” That was an understatement. My brother seemed to be searching for words, which was unusual. He generally knew exactly what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. He was always polished and to the point. “If there’s ever anything you want to talk about, just let me know.”

Twenty-three years and my brother finally
gave a shit about me. What a joke. I wanted to say:
Where were you when I was fourteen and really needed some guidance and someone to talk to?
Where were you when I just started to go off the rails?
It’s a little late now that I’m a complete and total fuck up. But he did give me a job and he was showing some interest, so I didn’t completely tear him a new one.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I
affirmed.

I could hear him heave a sigh as I bolted out of his office.

***

That night, when I was spray
-misting Marvin, I noticed a small sprout starting to develop. It was new growth! I couldn’t have been more elated. I immediately reached for the phone and called Brett. It had been nearly a week since we talked and it felt a lot longer. He had warned me that he wouldn’t have a lot of time to phone me during the week because he worked crazy long hours but he did text me sweet little messages, which made me smile.

I didn’t even see him much on Facebook
but I noticed Sweater Vest had posted some “How are you doing?” messages to his wall. I guess she only felt concern for him when it looked like he had another girl in his life. I was glad to see that Brett didn’t respond, at least not publically. That’s not to say that they didn’t resume communication and I just didn’t see it, which made me incredibly jealous.

Brett’s phone rang and rang. I expected for voicemail to pick up but there was nothing.
Weird. I didn’t want to come across as a stalker, so I didn’t immediately try again. I waited a few hours then phoned back.

“Anna,” Brett said when he finally picked up. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I saw that you phoned earlier. I’m sorry I couldn’t phone you back right away. Work has been crazy.”

“I was surprised your voicemail didn’t pick up. I would have left a message.”

There was an awkward moment of silence before Brett r
esponded. That couldn’t be good, I thought.

“I was on the phone with
Becca,” he said quickly.

Now I was the one who was silent.

“Anna, are you still there?” Brett’s voice sounded strained.

I didn’t want to come across as a crazy jealous bitch but that was exactly how I was feeling. I knew the female brain well enough to know that Sweater Vest would try to get her claws back into him the minute
there was another girl in the picture.

“I’m here,” I managed to get out with minimal emotion, even though inside I was going fucking nuts.

“Becca’s going through a little bit of a rough patch right now.”

“I bet she is,” I blurted. I came out a lot nastier than I would have liked.

“Nothing’s going on between us. She still considers me a friend, that’s all.”

“Whatever,” I
hissed. “I didn’t call to talk about Sweater Vest.”

“I know
. I’m sorry. What do you need?”

Before I could stop myself, I said, “I don’t
need
anything. I’ve never needed anyone or anything and I’m not going to start with you.”

Silence again. I wa
ited for Brett to say something—anything. Finally, he said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I can’t stop you from talking to Sweater Vest but I hope you can see what she’s doing. She didn’t want you until someone else did. Now you’re desirable again because she thinks someone else has you.”

“You do have me,” Brett said quietly. Now he was the one, who sounded hurt.

“It doesn’t feel like I have you right now.”

“I need to see you.” Brett sounded like he might cry and that twisted me up inside. “I would hop on a plane right now if I could but I have to work all weekend. We have a huge project due on Monday and we’re way behind.”

“We’re going to see each other next weekend at the wedding
. It’s only eight days from now.”

“Please don’t be mad at me
. It breaks my heart when you’re upset.”

I wanted to say:
then don’t do anything to piss me off—like talking to Sweater Vest
but I held my tongue. I was actually showing some restraint, which was a little growth for me, just like Marvin.

“I just remembered the reason I called. Marvin has a small sprout.”

“Who’s Marvin?”

“My plant.”

Brett laughed. “You named your plant Marvin?”

“It’s a great name and it suits him. Don’t you name your plants?”

“I’ve never named a plant.”

“Maybe you should try.”

“Does that mean that Marvin has come back to life?”

“Marvin is doing exceptionally well. Not only has he come back to life, he’s starting to grow.”

“Take another photo and send it to me.”

“I will do that.”

Brett hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “Are you going out this weekend?” I could hear the strain in his voice again.

“I hadn’t really planned that far ahead.” And it was the truth. I generally went out
when I got an itch to hang out and have fun.

I could tell Brett wanted to say more but he hesitated. “Well, if you do go out, would you think about me?”

How could I not? He was pretty much all I thought about lately. “Okay.”

“I really want to be with you right now
.” I could hear the longing in his voice.

“I want to be with you, too,” I admitted.

“Be good.”

“I’m always good,” I teased even though I knew our defin
itions of the word were probably different.

“I know,” Brett said as he hung up.

***

It was nine o’clock on a Saturday night and I was still at home
, in sweatpants and a tee shirt. I couldn’t remember the last time I was home on a Saturday night. I may have been 12.

My roommate came in with one of her witch friends. At one time, I thought she told me the girl’s name was Zelda. Zelda was dressed in all black, just like Winter, but Zelda was more than a little overweight. The two gawked at me when they saw me on the couch.

“What’s going on?” Winter said. She was trying to be casual but she seemed to be in shock.

I shrugged. “Not much.” I put down the
People
magazine I had been reading.

I was
lounging on the love seat, so Winter and Zelda took seats on the couch.

“Aren’t you going out?” Winter asked uncomfortably. She clearly didn’t know what to make of the situation.

“Nope.”

I could see Winter and Zelda eyeing each other. Then Winter said, “Why not?”

“I’m spending the evening with Marvin.”

Winter looked around the apartment. “You’ve got a guy here? Where is he? Is he in the bathroom?”

Both girls’ turned toward the bathroom at the same time. We could all see from where we were sitting that the bathroom door was open and the room was completely empty.

One thing I never did was bring a guy back to our apartment. I told Winter I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable but the truth was that I always wanted to be in control of the morning-
after’s. I wanted to be able to make a great escape without any drama. I always left guys apartments quickly and early. If a guy didn’t want to bring me to his place for sex it was always a deal breaker. My place was off limits.

I pointed to my plant. “That’s Marvin.”

Winter and Zelda looked at me like I’d gone mad.

“You named your plant?” Winter
asked.

“Why Marvin,” Zelda added.

I shrugged. “Why not? Doesn’t he look like a Marvin?”

The girls both glanced at my plant.

“I guess so,” Zelda said and Winter looked at her like she was crazy.

“Just what does a Marvin look like?” Winter asked Zelda.

“Like that plant,” Zelda replied as if it explained everything.

Winter just shook her head. Then she turned to me and said, “Hey, we’re going to get a pizza and watch a movie.
You in?”

So that’s what witches did on a Saturday night. Ate pizza an
d watched movies. It sounded so—normal. Not what I was expecting. Then it occurred to me that maybe they were watching some freaky witch movie. I wasn’t into blood and gore and all that kind of stuff. “What movie?” I asked cautiously.

“We’re going old school,” Zelda said. She held up a DVD of
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
.

I had to laugh.
“Yeah, sure. I love that movie.”

***

It was a little after 11 by the time I got into bed. It was the first time in years that I had been in my own bed on a Saturday night. My phone vibrated and there was a text from Brett:
I miss you
.

I phoned him. “I miss you, too,” I said when he picked up.

“You’re home?” Brett sounded surprised.

“I am. I have been all evening.”

“You didn’t go out?”

“You told me to be good.”

“And do you always do everything you’re told to do?’

“Almost never.
But I guess it depends who’s doing the telling.”

“I wish I was there right now to give you a good-night kiss.”

That isn’t all I want you to give me
, I thought. “Next weekend. In Tucson. You can give me all the kisses you want.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Did you hear about the party Friday night? Everyone is getting together at the Screaming Cactus after the rehearsal dinner.”

There was a long pause. “I’ll try to be there but I know I’ll be late. We’re having some
huge problems with that big project I was telling you about. I had to pull in some major favors just to be able to get the weekend off to go to the wedding.”

“It means a lot to me that you’re going to be there.”

“I wouldn’t miss a chance to see you.”

***

Standing at the front entrance of the church with the four other bridesmaids, waiting for the rehearsal to start, I realized how much every wedding was exactly alike. The outfits, the rituals, the script, even the music, everything was always the same.

If I ever got married (which was a big
if
because, who was ever going to ask me to be his wife?) I knew I didn’t want a wedding like everyone else. No hideous bridesmaids’ dress (I didn’t even want bridesmaids at all), no Pachelbel’s Cannon and definitely no church. (God knows, I had no business in a church and definitely no business getting married in one.)

I zoned out through most of the rehearsal thinking about Brett. I wondered what kind of wedding Brett wanted. Did he want a traditional wedding in a church with groomsmen and a
Unity candle? I couldn’t see him relishing Pachelbel (more like Pearl Jam). I could see him wanting flowers, though. Lots and lots of flowers. Of course, that made me think of Sweater Vest. He had been engaged to her. I wondered if they had planned a big wedding. She seemed like the type who would want it all. Even the Unity candle. 

The rehearsal dinner was at a small Italian restaurant that was owned by an aunt and uncle of the groom. I didn’t usually go for Italian but the meal was delicious. One of the groomsmen,
Rocco, sat next to me and tried hitting on me most of the night. I had no interest in Rocco. He was short and already had a beer gut, which was a complete turn off. And he was a bit too crude for me, which said a lot.

It took everything in me not to tell him off at the table but I didn’t want to ruin
Olivia and Zach’s special weekend. Finally, when the dinner ended, and everyone was exiting the restaurant, I decided to put Rocco in his place.

“You going out with everyone tonight?” he said as he u
ndressed me with his eyes.