BEAST (MMA Bad Boys Book 1) (7 page)

“I know, Ma, but I refuse to bring my bullshit life to you. You need to live, experience life without the MMA shit hanging over you. I’ll never be free but you are. It’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I do that I choose to stand back just a little. I’m not my father, Ma.” I take her dainty hand between my own and tilt my head to look into her eyes. “I promise you, I’m not standing back to hurt you, Ma. I love ya.”

I sound like a sappy twat, but my Ma is my soft spot, my weakness, and I do love her. A graceful smile spreads across her face, making her eyes sparkle in the dim lighting. After looking at me with her happy face, I smile…Yeah, I do fucking smile sometimes. The sound of the door opening behind me has my Ma looking over my shoulder. Curious as to who’s walked in, I turn to check them out. Stood right there is Carlotta, beautiful even in some skinny jeans and black tank top. I frown. Since when did I find women beautiful?

“What’s that look on your face?” My Ma brings me back to earth and I look at her. Her confusion is written in her eyes and I swallow.

“She’s an MMA light-weight fighter. I met her last night.” I close my eyes as her laughter reaches my ears. It’s a glorious sound. In my world, no-one laughs like that. Ever.

She’s just another bitch, she’s just another bitch
, I chant in my head. I don’t have time to get tangled up in a woman, especially a fellow fighter. Don’t get me started on her attitude. I have no room for a new challenge, it’s doesn’t matter how fucking hot her body is.

“Then why the long face? She’s your friend, no?” Ma’s Italian accent hasn’t disappeared and seems to be as strong as ever, I don’t find it comforting anymore. My father ruined the accent for anyone else.

“No, Ma. She’s just someone I bumped into. She has a bad attitude.” I scrub a hand down my face and hope to God that Carlotta doesn’t notice me sitting here. I would say I’m trying to make myself get smaller, but that’s impossible with me. I’m not named Beast for nothing.

“So, no romance?” Ma’s inquisition is unwarranted but she’s been hoping for me to find a woman to settle down with, even though she knows it’s impossible for me to. I can’t bring her into the mess my father got me into. With Carlos shadowing me, I can’t risk anyone else’s life. I may be a bastard but I don’t wish harm on people that don’t deserve it, excluding fights because I have no choice.

“Ma,” I say in a warning tone. “Don’t. Go. There.” My teeth a gritted so hard that I’m afraid they’ll break, but anger is creeping in and I don’t want to get mad at her. Taking a deep breath through my nose and blowing it out slowly, I look at Ma, my eyes pleading with her to drop that conversation.

“Beast. Pleasure to see you again.” Carlotta. She’s just over my shoulder and I have to clench my fists to stop myself from reaching out to her. I can feel my control and resolve slipping as her flowery scent invades my nostrils.

“Carlotta.” I growl from deep in my chest and my Ma and Carlotta’s eyes widen in surprise.

Carlotta’s chin lifts a little and she turns her attention to Ma. “Two glasses of house white wine please, Gina.”

“Sure thing, sweety. I’ll have them brought over for you.” She shoos Carlotta away with a wave of the hand and goes about making the drinks as I sit there and stare at the back of Carlotta as she walks away, I’m not going to lie, her arse looks fucking sexy in those jeans. I catch myself before I start licking my lips.
Knock it off, Beast, she’s already in the circuit and you don’t want to pull her in any fucking further
, this thought slaps me in the face and I close my eyes, looking away from the only woman that has ever captured my attention. Sure, I have women that tickle my fancy, but they’re one night only and that’s just to satisfy my dick. No one will ever steal my heart. No one will ever knock down the walls I built to protect myself. No woman deserves the shit they’ll get from the bosses above if they were caught in a relationship with me. This is one thing my Ma never understands about the whole thing; it’s why she’s forever pushing me to settle down. I can’t. Ever. The sooner she understands that I won’t do it, the quicker she can move the fuck on from the same shit she pushes on me every fucking time I come to see her.

“Ma, I’m leaving. Call if you need anything.” I salute her as I slip off my stool. I can feel eyes drilling holes into my head, I know they’re Carlotta’s by the tingling goosebumps that run down both of my arms. I grit my teeth and shove the glass doors of the restaurant open and walk fast toward my Conquest Knight XV beast of a car.

I chose this car because I felt it protected me from everything and everyone on the outside. I know it does what I hope it would because I always feel safe when I’m locked inside. It’s the only one in England and I have men drooling over it. Yeah, my car is as much of a fucking badass as I am.

Pressing the ignition button, I rev the engine and smile as the engine growls to life. Checking my mirrors, I check for a clearance in the afternoon traffic before easing out and heading in the direction of my apartment. My life is so damn exciting; wake up, gym, restaurant, home. Routine. Basic. And how I was trained. Being brainwashed from a young age sucks when you want to have a life but can’t physically have one. I stick to ring girls because they’re less clingy and only after stardom, I don’t go out of my way to look for women and I sure as fuck don’t go after women like Carlotta.

Not remembering the drive back home, I sit in my underground parking space and blink away the mist of thoughts that has drifted in front of my eyes and in my brain. I’ve never contemplated life, I just got on with it. I ride the waves of the present day and don’t think about the future, nothing will change. I’ll always be under my father’s rule even if his sorry arse isn’t here. But I guess, instead of my dad, I’m under Carlos’ rule now. His word is gospel and he has the last word in everything. If I valued my life even a smidgeon, I know not to go against him. Ever.

Carlotta is still a thought that’s floating through my mind and it’s driving me INSANE. I’ve hardly even spoke to the woman except for once and even then it was me on the receding end of her sarcasm and bitchiness. I have no right to have sexual feelings towards her, but I do. My body has a mind of its own and it seems my dick is the only head that rules me. One day, my downfall will be a woman, I know it and I know from Carlos’ snide remarks that he does too. I’ll prove that fucker wrong. You wait and see.

If it wasn’t for the kicks and money, I would have figured a way to get out of MMA, at least out of the Mob’s MMA. But I have no resources on my side, I have no way to kick it in. Fighting for me now is an addiction I have to feed, an addiction I can’t surpass and at the moment I have no real interest in quitting.

The label over my head is what keeps me in the game, what keeps me fighting and keeping the big men happy. My fights bring in the most money, they know and I know it, that’s why I haven’t been thrown out for the wolves to eat. They truly hated my father as much as I did, they can’t wait for the day that I crash and burn, but I won’t let it happen.

Heaving myself from my vehicle, I beep it shut and head to the private lift in the corner of the underground parking lot. Sliding my key card that shows I’m authorised to use it, I wait for the doors to slide open. The gym session has finally hit my muscles and the need for a scorching hot shower overwhelmed me. My body was feeling sluggish and the steps into the elevator felt like it took more than a mere couple of seconds.

As the lift ascends to the highest part of the building, I wipe my mind of thoughts that don’t pertain the fight that’s happening tonight. I need to start getting into the mind-set, then I need to go through my pre-fight routine of a protein shake and a chicken salad dinner. After a shower, of course.

Staring at Beast’s back as he leaves the restaurant, everything else in the room become mute; no sounds of clinking cutlery, no sounds of voices of conversation.

“Earth to Carlotta.” Gemma’s voice breaks through my mind after Beast’s presences has completely left the building.

“What?” I blink my eyes a few times and feel myself come down to earth. I feel the wetness between my legs and squeeze my thighs together to try and relieve some of the ache that’s taken residence in my vagina. I have no idea why I’m feeling this. Sure, Beast is freakin’ off the charts hot, but I was only thinking about his blatant ignorance of me. What the hell have I done to him? Except at the bar last night, I’ve never had contact with him before. Of course, I’ve watched him during his fights, but I’d never spoken to him before yesterday. I had no desire to. I mean, the guy is built like the hulk and his aura screams anti-social.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying? Or are you still hung up on the dude that got you so pissed off last night?” Gemma is tapping her long, red painted finger nail on the table as she waits for my reply. The frown on her face tells me she’s confused, but I really don’t want to enlighten her on my deep inner feelings about a gruff man that seems to carry the world on his shoulders.

“No, I haven’t heard a word you said. I zoned out,” I say, smiling at her to soften the blow. Gem hates to be ignored, and I do it often without meaning to.

“Figures,” she mumbles, taking a swig of her white wine.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” My hackles are up and a light simmering of anger just below the surface threatens to break free. It’s one thing being a straight up talker but to try and mumble something so the other person can’t hear is another and it irritates the shit out of me.

“Beast?” One eyebrow rose as she stares at me, a small smirk playing on the corner of her lips give her a sly look like she’s up to something. “You hardly kept your eyes off him since we’ve been in here.”

“He’s intriguing, confusing and a whole lot of weird. He’s a challenge that I want to take on. Happy?” I blow out of puff of air and try to swallow against the dryness in my mouth.

“Why? He’s the moodiest bastard I’ve ever seen. He’s not a challenge, sweety. He’s more of a mission impossible. But hey, if that’s what you’re into, I wish you luck, my friend.” Her sarcastic attitude has me thinking twice about my previous statement. Do I really want to challenge someone who I have no business interacting with? You can tell he isn’t interested, the contempt in his eyes every time he casts his eyes on me was a big indication for me to step back and forget him. But how can you forget about a man who has muscles over muscles, eyes so blue that they glimmer in the light and a mop of blonde hair that gives him the permanent look of ‘just fucked’? 

“So what that he’s moody? It gives him that badass sexiness that I’m sure all women drool over. He must have shit that goes on behind closed doors that no-one knows about. No, I’m not going to pursue him, because I don’t want to get burned or humiliated. So take a chill pill, woman.” I laugh at the end of my sentence to take the seriousness out of the conversation. Starting to get a little uncomfortable with her shoving the spotlight on me, I say, “So, the dude at the pub last night? Who was he?”

“Oh him? His name was Nate or something similar. Didn’t really get much passed the introduction before he practically sucked my face off. And even when he wasn’t trying to annihilate my face…he was so self-obsessed that it made me want to vomit. So there’s nout there and it’s the reason why I didn’t take him home to my bed like you expected me to do.” Taking another swig of her wine, she takes a moment to compose herself before saying, “Look, I’m sorry. I had a shit night’s sleep and then you ignoring me to check out some bloke’s assets…and then there’s the thing with Roofie…Sorry.”

I cover her hand with mine and gave her a sympathetic smile before we were interrupted by the waiter asking for our order. Once he’s left, I face Gemma and tell her, “We all have shit days, but you know you can always talk to me. Don’t keep shit bottled up because that doesn’t work for anyone. You know that better than most.”

Gemma smiles at me weakly before glancing out the window at the people passing by. I know she has thing for Roofie and the crap he spewed at her the one and only night they were together really hit her. Whether it was drunken bollocks that he threw at her, he should have apologised sooner, knowing she was red hot mad at him would have been a massive indicator that she was pissed with him.