Beautiful Liar (5 page)

“You slut, where in the hell have you been? You smell like sex! You bitch, you’re not walking away from this conversation, this time.”

“Yes,” I hiss at her now hush before someone hears you!”

“Girl, everyone and I mean everyone here knows that you two have it bad for each other. In fact some of the dancers were betting how long it would take.”

“Shut up! Nooo they weren’t. You lie!” I look at her horrified.

“Gotcha,” she winks walking back to her tables.

The rest of the night I feel paranoid like everyone is staring at me. I just know that I am going to be fired. It really sucks, because the money I can make here is great. I don’t know what I am doing with Turner. I like him a lot, but I can’t give him all of me. Not to mention he doesn’t know the situation with Brody. Hell Brody doesn’t even know. For now I am just going with it.

Thankfully our indiscretion at work isn’t spoken of. Either no one knows or they don’t care. Well other than Krista. I just want to get out of theses clothes and take a long steaming bubble bath. Making it home I walk in to find Aiden and Marla asleep together in the recliner. There is a note from Caroline that she fed Aiden dinner and bathed him. She is so great to me. I pick Aiden up, careful not to wake him and get him tucked into his bed. I try gently to wake Marla and she doesn’t respond. A hard lump forms in my throat. I shake with a little more force.

“What, what is it she mumbles.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, “just thought you might want to go get in your bed is all.”

“No now I am awake, how was work?”

“Good,” I blush thinking back to Turner and all the ways he touched me.

“What’s that grin about?”

“Nothing, it was a really great night.”

“Your father called me earlier.”

“You talked to Jim?”

“Yeah Darby, just because we got divorced don’t mean we don’t talk. We were talking about my final arrangements. Now I know you don’t like to talk about it, but is important, so your dad is helping me get some things in order for when the time comes.”

And with that I am brought back down to earth.

“Your dad also mentioned Brody coming by his house when he was last in town. You need to just tell him the truth Darby. If he finds out from anyone other than you it is going to be that much worse.” She slowly rises from her chair and gives me a knowing hug.

I let the flood of tears break through the cracked walls that have been holding my emotions in. I cry for Brody, the time I stole from him and Aiden. More tears fall for Turner. I am scared to feel too much for someone who I can’t have. I cry the hardest for my mom as she stands in her fragile state holing me up. The thought that I may not have much time left in this life with her scares the shit out of me. She begins talking a lot about death and the all wrongs she has made in her life and how she needs to right them.

I can’t handle this conversation right now. Making the excuse of being hungry, I avoid the rest of the discussion. Truth is I couldn’t eat now if I wanted to. I busy myself in the kitchen until I am sure she has turned in for the night. Finally I am able to sink down into a warm bath and escape my troubles for a while.

Aiden wakes me in the middle of the night; he had an accident in his bed. Shit! I forgot to put his pull up on him. I throw his bedding in the wash and put him in my bed after getting him cleaned up. He does really well with using the potty, but while he is sleeping is a whole other ordeal. Turner sends me a good morning pumpkin tits texts and ask if Aiden and I would like to meet him for breakfast.

Seeing my sons name in the same line with pumpkin tits is so wrong, I laugh to myself. I get Aiden up and ready and throw his bedding in the dryer. We meet up with Turner at a diner near Aiden’s daycare, so I can drop him off on my way to work. Aiden lights up when he sees Turner waiting for us in a booth and takes off running for him.

“Hey little man. Give me five.” He holds his hand out for Aiden to smack. Aiden gives him all he’s got; Turner draws his hand back shaking it like it hurt.

“Ouch, that stung a bit Aiden. You are so strong.”

Aiden looks at Turner, giving that familiar lopsided grin, making my heart skip a beat. Will he have this connection with Brody when they meet? Turner gives me a wink, and Aiden insist on sitting beside of him.

“Sure you don’t mind?”

“Why wouldn’t I want to sit beside my favorite ball star? This kid is going to be one hell of a ball player. Does he get that from you?”

“Definitely not! He is a lot like his D-A—D.”

The waitress brings us our menus. Aiden decides to be a stinker and start climbing down and going underneath the table.

“Aiden,” I say with I clipped tone, “get your rear in a seat and park it.” He’s not having it, and starts laughing. Giving me a ha-ha, I don’t think so smirk.

“Hey Aiden, if you be good and listen to your mom, I will take you back to the park sometime. If that’s alright with her.” Aiden instantly gets up out of the floor and sits like he is the best behaved two years old.

We place our orders and talk a little about Marla and what the doctors say about her. I skillfully nibble my strawberries, drawing Turners attention to my berry stained pout.

He leans across the table, “I’ve got something that would taste better between your lips.” I give him a flirty grin and continue to seduce his senses with my berries. I give Aiden my phone to play with, he loves listening to music on it.

“So where is his D-A-D?” Turner whispers across the table to me. I take a deep breath. His question catches me off guard. No one knows that Brody is Aiden’s dad other than my parents and Caroline. I usually avoid the topic when people ask. But I really like Turner, and I can’t bring myself to lie to him too.

“He and I were high school sweethearts. I have known him since grade school. Things were great between us. I hope this conversation isn’t awkward. I like you a lot, but I don’t know if what we’re doing is more than just S-E-X.”

“For now, just be honest. I don’t know where this is headed. You know I wasn’t looking to get involved, but I can’t shake these feelings for you.”

“Well, Brody Case is his name. You may have actually heard of him if you are into sports.”

“As in the baseball player? So why isn’t he in the picture? Did he walkout on you?

“Yes, I am getting to that and no.” He gives me a confused look. “Brody was getting ready to leave for college. It had always been his dream to play for
Louisville. And his dream was coming true. I didn’t want a family to stand in his way.”

“So you just didn’t tell him.” He gives me a very mixed expression.

“No, I didn’t but I am going to tell him soon. He used to like to drink a lot and he could have a bit of a temper.”

“Did he hurt you? I swear if he has ever hurt you!”

“No, he hurt himself more than he ever hurt me. He never put his hands on me.”

“That’s really fucked up,” he mouths at me.

“I’m a horrible person, say it. I know you are thinking it.”

“To be honest yea. I kind of am. I mean, Darby that is a big thing not to tell someone. But I want to try to understand it without judging you too harshly. I mean I can understand not wanting a kid around someone who drinks a lot. But when you love someone you try to help them, you don’t turn your back on them.”

Looking at the clock I am going to be late if I don’t leave right now. “Can we finish this later? I am going to be late if I don’t get Aiden to daycare.”

“Yea, no problem.” I take a few tens from my purse and try to hand them to Turner for mine and Aiden’s food, but he refuses.

He stands to let Aiden out of the booth and gives me a stiff kiss on the cheek. He thinks I am a horrible bitch. But I can’t really blame him. This is why you don’t date Darby! God I could kick my own ass. After buckling Aiden into his seat, I take few deep breathes. It really hurts for Turner to think so poorly of me. A tear slides from my face. I turn to get in my car when Turner suddenly twists me around facing him.

“Don’t do that!”

“Do what?” I wipe the teardrop that is trickling down my face.

“Don’t beat yourself up over the past.” He runs his finger down my face, traveling the path of my tear. “You’re an amazing person. I am sure whatever the reasons are behind your choices, you made them with good intentions.” I look into the cloudy grey of his eyes. I lick my lips, begging him to take the invitation to kiss me. God I just want him to kiss me right now! To feel his warm full lips taking me hostage and never letting me go. That’s what I want right now, standing in this busy parking lot. I want to forget all my wrong doings and just be his. I want him to be mine. The thought of it terrifies me because I should want to be Brody’s.

My thoughts should be about giving Aiden the family he deserves with his dad. But instead, my heart is opening to someone else. Someone who holds the power to crush my heart and consume every part of me. The idea of being with Turner, really being with him, not just his occasional fuck, makes butterflies take full flight in my stomach. I part my lips as he bends his face slowly to mine. His tongue begins tracing the outline of my pout. His warm tongue begins massaging mine. First the kiss is tender and sweet, but then it turns into something else completely. It turns into a fever pitch of want and desire. He could take me right here in this parking lot against my car, if Aiden weren’t with me.

Oh my word, Aiden is sitting in the car witnessing his mommy make out. I snap out of the hold Turner has on me.

“I really have to go.”

“Until later, pumpkin tits.” He pinches my nipple, hard.

After a long day at the gym and picking Aiden up, I run by the house and get Marla. Tomorrow is her birthday, but I have to work at The Masquerade Club, so I am taking her out for her birthday this evening. After a quick change of mine and Aiden’s clothes we are ready to go. It is a scorcher, I feel like I a just may turn into a puddle. Maybe I should reschedule the birthday dinner. Marla looks miserable.

“Sure you are up to this, I mean we can stay in and I can cook or order takeout.”

“Darby, I only get out of the house for doctors appointments. I am ready to get out even if I don’t feel much like celebrating my final birthday.”

“Why do you say things like that? You don’t know that. You have no way of knowing that. Unless there is something you’re not telling me.”

I wasn’t able to go to her last appointment with her. Next time, I intend to go with her. I get the feeling she purposely scheduling them for when I am at work. Caroline has been going with her. I bet she knows what she is hiding. And she has probably made her promise to keep it to herself too. A bottle of good wine may get her to spill. One can hope anyways. I’d like to think Marla wouldn’t keep anything from me, not now after we have grown so close these past few years.

It feels so nice to be out with just the three of us, Aiden, Marla, and me. We haven’t gotten to spend hardly any time together lately even though my schedule isn’t as hectic. Our reservations are at a pretty ritzy place, I just hope Aiden behaves himself. He is a pretty good kid, but he is only two. He looks so adorable in his kaki trousers and blue dress shirt. His hair is a mess of curls, but I still can’t bring myself to cut them.

Marla on the other hand looks like a ghost of her former self. Aiden and I get our wavy hair from her. Her once lustrous locks are dull and dry. Her eyes don’t have any shine to them at all. She used to have curves in all the right places. We used to almost look like sisters instead of mother and daughter. It makes me so sad to see how the cancer has changed her.

“So I notice you are spending a lot of your time with Turner.”

“Oh no you don’t! This evening is about celebrating your birthday.”

Dinner is a disaster. Aiden is cranky from the heat and Marla has no appetite. I end up getting our dinner to go. Trying not to let Aiden’s tantrums get to me, I take him home and get him his bath. I have never talked to him about his dad and I guess there is no time like the present to introduce the idea to him. He may not understand much of it now, but I know it is something I should have talked to him about from the start. After digging around in my closet, I find the perfect way to tell Aiden about his father, but the perfect way to show him too. I have been keeping a scrap-book of Brody and all of his greatest moments playing baseball. I started working on it all the way back in middle school.

Settling on a glider on the front porch, I pull Aiden into my lap and open the book. “Mommy wants to talk to you about someone important, so listen closely okay?” He places his tiny fingers on the first page.

“Dat ball,” he says.

“Yes, ball very good. Do you see the boy in the picture, Aiden? He is your dad. Do you know what a daddy is?”

“Aiden play ball.”

“Yeah, Aiden plays ball, like his daddy.”

I continue showing him the pictures, explaining the best I can that he will be getting to meet his daddy soon. I hope. He falls asleep in my lap. I hear Turner’s car coming up the street. He approaches the porch, seeing Aiden slumped in my arms he takes him from me and puts him in his bed.

He rejoins me on the porch and takes a seat beside me.

“So I want to understand Darby, before I put my heart out to you anymore than it already is. I want to know more about your situation with Brody and where you stand with him. Whatever this is between us, has taken over my world. I want to be here for you and Aiden but I need to know what I am walking into.”

I explain to him how I had planned on putting Aiden up for adoption. Holding nothing back, I tell him all about my life growing up. How my dad had given up everything to raise me. Don’t get me wrong, had my dad not had his job in the coal mines, he would not have been able to provide for me the way he had. My dad gave up a lot when he married my mother. They were young and dumb. They ended up resenting one another after marrying so young. I didn’t want to doom me and Brody to their fate. I wanted a better life for both of us and I loved him enough to let him go. I explain about Marla’s drinking, it split my family up. I don’t want to raise a child in that environment. During my confession to Turner, I also realize that I don’t have to be with Brody to raise Aiden with him.

Continuing with my story I tell him about the emails Brody would send and how hard it was to hear that he had gotten married. He was living his dream, even got drafted to his favorite team, the Red Jackets. I knew I couldn’t come back to him after a year and tell him he had a son, he was newly married and starting his career. Everyone would have thought I was after his money. Then another year passed and now another. There never was a right time to tell him. How could I after all this time has passed.

I’m still not sure now is the best time to tell him. He has always had a drinking problem. I worry about Aiden having to grow up the way I did, with my mom’s drinking problem.

Telling him he has a son I have kept from him, may push him over the edge.

“Are you still in love with him?”

“I don’t know, I thought I was until you came into my life. Now I don’t know if it’s that I love him because he is Aiden’s father, or because I really am in love with him. This conversation isn’t fair to you.” I wrap my hair in my fingers and twirl it. “Then there is the fact that you are my boss. I don’t want people to think I am screwing my way into becoming a spotlight dancer. I don’t deserve you Turner, but lord knows I want you anyways.”

“Let’s take it one day at time. I don’t do relationships well, but I am willing to try for you.” We spend a few more hours talking about his role in the club. He is really excited about a meeting he has set up in Vegas next month with a big casino. Turner has been put in charge of negotiating a deal with the casino to open a Masquerade Club in their building. If he lands the deal, the franchise owner of the club says he will make Turner a partner of the
Miami club and give him full control over it. This is a really big deal for him. This is why we need to be even more careful with our relationship, now more than ever.

“When are you going to tell Brody?”

“I don’t know, but I know I need to soon.”

All I can do is kiss him right now in this moment. Turner is everything I could ever want in a man. I mean he is sexy as sin, good with my son, and so understanding of my situation.

“Darby, I want to be with you, but I don’t know if I can do this, not knowing where you stand with Brody. I want you to take a few days to think. If you are sure you don’t want to try to work things out with Aiden’s dad, then I’ll be here. But if you decide you want a family with him Darby, I will walk away for good.”

What just happened? I thought we were taking two steps forward only to take three steps back.