Beautifully Broken (18 page)

“Well you are really trying to impress this girl,” Carl said
laughing. “Cali you must be special to my bother I tell you
he never does this stuff for a girl.” Cali smiled; it made her
feel good that James felt she was worth doing all that stuff
for.

James turned on some music and opened up the French
doors to the balcony. Marie and Carl started dancing on
the back deck. Cali was sitting on the couch watching them
dance. James walked over to her and held out his hand.
She looked up into his dark sexy green eyes and got
goose bumps all over her body. She softly touched his
hand and he pulled her up to him. She touched his face
gazing into his eyes and she smiled.

“Thank you for being so incredible to me, I will never
forget this day. It has been so much fun,” Cali whispered in
his ear. James kissed her hand and led her to the back
deck where they watched Carl and Maria dance.

“Wow they are amazing together,” Cali said her face lit up
with excitement as she watched them dance.
“Now it’s your turn,” James said pulling Cali out on to the
deck, but she pulled him back, shaking her head no.

“I can’t dance like that,” Cali said with hesitation in her
voice.

“Well you won’t know what you can do until you try,”
James responded flashing Cali his incredible smile as he
gently pulled her towards his body.

He looked in to her eyes as he placed his right hand on
the small of her back and he held her right hand with his
left and she placed her left hand on his shoulder. He
pulled her in so close he could feel her heart beating, she
was so excited. James took the lead. Cali was so lost in his
amazing eyes she didn’t even realize they were dancing.
He spun her around so fast she felt like she was floating, it
was so natural.

“I don’t know why I am shocked, but I am impressed with
your dance skills,” Cali said laughing.

“Well thank you. Maria made the whole wedding party take
lessons when they got married,” James said as he spun
her around the deck. “I knew you could dance, you just
have to have the right partner.”

“Well maybe that’s why I have always stumbled until now. I
didn’t know you before,” Cali whispered with a serious
expression on her face, as she looked up at him. James
touched her face and gently kissed her lips, it was quick
and sweet but Cali didn’t want to stop kissing him.
“James let’s start a fire,” Carl yelled as the song ended.

“A camp fire, that would be fun,” Cali said all excited.

 

Carl and James started a fire while the girls went to get
marshmallows and change into more comfortable clothes.

Cali was like a child watching the fire burn. She was so
excited experiencing all these new things in her life, she
was feeling overwhelmed with happiness and fear. She was
scared because she knew her new friends and happy times
wouldn’t last much longer. She was going to get caught;
she couldn’t run forever, especially since the FBI was
after her. As she looked at the burning flames of the fire, it
reminded her of the night her father died. It made her think
about her sisters. Cali thought about what they must be
going through without her, it hurt her so much not talking
to them. Cali felt guilty as she did every time she felt a
moment of happiness it made her feel sick like she didn’t
deserve anything good. As tears started to build up in
Cali’s eyes, James looked at her. She took a deep breath
and held back her emotions. He sat down beside her and
held her hand not saying anything for a few moments.

“You don’t need to feel guilty every time you’re happy for
a moment,” James whispered looking into her eyes as he
gently touched her face.

“How do you read me so easily? It’s like you know what I
am feeling and I don’t even have to tell you,” Cali breathed
looking into his eyes. Their connection was so strong and
it was getting stronger the closer they became.
The four of them had a good time roasting marshmallows
and singing campfire songs.

“Carl lets go to bed, I’m getting tired and we need to leave
early in the morning so we can get to my parents at a
decent time,” Marie said. She was watching Cali and James
and she wanted to give them time alone.

“Ya ok,” Carl said. “We’re going to bed you two have a
good evening,” Carl waved good night to James and Cali
who were still sitting by the fire cuddled up together.

Chapter 19

Cali and James didn’t say anything for a little while. They
both just sat there watching the fire, holding on to each
other very tightly. Cali was nervous she had to tell him the
truth. She was holding his hand and she saw the scars on
his wrist and it reminded her that they shared many dark
secrets and he might understand what she did, he killed
his father too. Cali took a deep breath as she rubbed the
scars on his wrist. She looked up to see his amazing face
looking at her and she got lost in his incredible green
eyes. For the first time she saw the way he looked at her.
He saw her as this sweet and pure hearted girl who
needed to be saved from her tortured life. Cali loved how
he saw her and she didn’t want that sparkle in his eyes to
go away when he looked at her.

Looking back at him broke her heart; she realized it was
selfish of her to let him fall in love with her when she knew
they couldn’t be together. She was going to have to say
good bye to him sometime soon and she felt a sharp pain
in her heart. He touched her face and looked into her eyes
as they filled with tears.
“Cali why are you crying?” he asked in such a sweet voice
with so much affection written on his face and she could
feel the tenderness in his touch. She knew he loved her
and she loved him too.

“This is all just so bitter sweet, I have had the best time of
my life with you and I know it’s all going to change,” Cali
whispered as he wiped tears from her face.

“Cali I told you my darkest secret, the one thing I had
never fully shared with anyone. I have been holding on to
what happened the night my parents died since I was
eleven years old. I was terrified that no one could
understand what I had been through. I trusted you and
you didn’t look at me like I was a monster, you comforted
and supported me, because you understand. Letting you
into my heart has opened me up to new possibilities and
has helped me want to be a better man. I know now I need
to stop punishing myself for the past because I can’t
change what happened but I can change what happens in
the future. I don’t know everything you have been through
but I promise the way I feel about you is not going to
change,” James whispered as he kissed the top of her
head.

“I know you think that’s true but things can change in an
instant,” Cali said looking into his eyes. “Ok I will tell you
what happened, but I just want to do one thing before, just
in case things do change.” Cali touched his face and
pushed herself on top of him as she kissed him like she
never kissed him before. It was a kiss of love and of hope
and it was a kiss that would not be forgotten. She slowly
released him from her arms and he looked at her with an
excited expression on his face.

“What was that? You caught me a little off guard,” James
said smiling. He liked that side of her; she had never been
so aggressive with him before.

“Sorry, that was my good bye kiss just in case”.

 

“Cali I am here for you and I am not going anywhere,”
James responded.

Cali took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth.
Should she tell him just about the night that she killed her
father or should she tell him everything leading up to the
horrific night? Cali shook with fear of the unknown she
was more scared about telling him what lead up to the
night then about the actual night itself. She was frozen
with fear. She sat there taking deep breaths and biting her
lower lip while he waited in anticipation.

“I couldn't control myself and didn’t even know what I was
doing it all happened so fast. Twenty two years of pain
and torture and I couldn’t take one more minute. I don’t
want to tell you everything that happened because it’s
horrible and I do believe it makes me a bad person. But it
might not make sense why I did what I did if I don’t tell you
everything,” Cali took a deep breath. “Most of my life I was
kept in a basement but my parents where always good to
me up until my mom killed herself, before that day my life
didn’t seem that bad. After my mom died my dad and I
moved to a small town called Envy. Things were getting
better, or so I thought. I wasn’t locked in the basement
anymore; I had a big beautiful bedroom. I was happy. On
my twelfth birthday was when the happy times ended and
my dad started raping me,” Cali paused as she tried to
hold back her tears. “If that wasn’t bad enough, he
adopted four more daughters and when they turned
thirteen they had to make daddy happy too. I always felt
guilty that if I had made him happy enough he wouldn’t
have needed to hurt my sisters too. We all had our roles
to play but I took the beatings. As bad as things were for
me I didn’t want my sisters to have to go through that too,”
Cali took a deep breath and looked away from him. She
couldn’t look him in the eyes when she told him the next
part.

“I missed my period and took a home pregnancy test
without telling my dad. It was positive. The only person
that knew was my sister Natasha. I wanted to get rid of the
baby before anyone knew so I went to the pharmacy and
bought pills that were supposed to abort the baby,” Cali
watched the fire as she continued telling her story.
Shaking with fear because things were only going to get
worse Cali took another deep breath and wiped her tears
away. “When I got home from the store my dad was
waiting for me with the pregnancy test in his hand. I hid
the box of the pills in my purse. He was so mad at me; the
look in his eyes was like nothing I have ever seen before. I
was trembling with fear. He grabbed me by the arm and
pulled my hair as he dragged me to the living room and he
threw me on the couch. I thought he was going to kill me
but then his face changed and for a second he looked
happy.”

“Veronica how did this happen?” he asked.

“Daddy, I am so sorry I don’t know,” I said to him still
shaking with fear. I don’t know what I was more scared of;
his wrath or the idea of his devil child living inside of me. I
was scared of so many things.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he said as he sat down
on the couch beside me and put his hands on his head. “I
didn’t think I could even have children, Katie and I tried for
so many years and it always ended badly,” he said and I
was very confused because they had me and I didn’t
understand what he was talking about. “Veronica we’re
going to have a baby,” my dad said looking at me with a
happy look on his face. He hugged me and kissed me and
then he made me lunch. The rest of the day he was so nice
to me and I was confused he didn’t let me clean the house
or make dinner which I always did. He made my sisters
cater to me but he didn’t tell them why. It was the strangest
day of my life. That night my dad tucked me into bed and
told me he loved me and that he was so proud of me. I lay
awake all night just thinking. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was
racing and I was so confused but one thing I knew was I
wasn’t going to have his baby. So I took the pills out of my
purse and I took a handful of them. I didn’t even follow the
directions, if they killed me I didn’t care. That’s when my
father walked into the room, he saw what I had done and I
don’t even know what happened after that. He hit me so
hard I blacked out. I remembered being dragged to the
torture room. I was so messed up everything was a blur. I
don’t know if it was from the pills I took or from the hit to
the head. The room was dark and I was in pain. He chained
me up and just started hitting me. I had never been hit so
many times, or so hard.

“You want an abortion? I’ll give you a fucking abortion
you stupid little bitch,” my dad screamed as he hit me in
the stomach with a hard object. I couldn’t even make out
what it was, it all happened so fast. After a while it stopped
and he left me bleeding and chained up in the torture
room. The next day he came back and looked at me. He
kicked me in the stomach a few times to see if I was still
alive and I screamed out in pain.

“Why did you do this Veronica? I have given you
everything, we could have been so happy. Why did you
have to kill our baby?” my dad screamed at me.

“Daddy I’m sorry I didn’t want to have a baby that was
born all deformed. I didn’t want this life for my child. What
if we had a baby girl, how long before you would start
hurting her?” I screamed back at him. “What would we
have told people? It’s illegal for us to have a baby, I am
your daughter.”
“Our baby would have been perfectly normal, and I would
have never hurt my own child,” he yelled back.

“What about me? I am your child, why do you hurt me?
Why don’t you love me?” I asked while crying.

“You stupid girl, you’re not my daughter,” he said and
then he continued to beat me. I blacked out from the pain
or lack of blood, I don’t know. When I woke up he was
dragging me to the choky it was a box he kept me in. I
hated that box. Out of everything he ever did to me being
kept in that box was the worst of all the torture. He left me
in that box for what felt like days. I was left alone to die. It
was the first time I thought I might not make it out alive.
That night there was a fundraiser going on in the
community and my dad, being the mayor, went with my
sisters. Before my sisters left Natasha let me out of the
choky. I was so weak I could barely walk. I cleaned myself
up as best I could and I changed my clothes. Every inch of
my body ached with pain. I only had a little bit of time
before my dad and sisters would be home from the
fundraiser and I needed to find out what my dad was
talking about. I needed to know if he was my real father. I
went into my dad’s office and I started going through his
stuff. I found a little black book and I started reading. It
was a journal that belonged to my mother. I didn’t get very
far when I was interrupted by my father standing over me.