Beautifully Unbroken (13 page)

“Just dancing,” I panted. I felt relaxed, and for the first time in two weeks, I felt my worries slowly begin to fade away. Cooper’s mouth grazed my earlobe again. I didn’t protest as my body was taken over by my senses. I was floating, and any inhibition I had to tell Cooper to stop had left my body and evaporated into thin air. Cooper’s big hands worked their way up and down my thighs. “You feel so good, Jo,” he whispered. “So fucking good.”

I didn’t reply; I couldn’t. My body suddenly felt foreign. I felt as though I wasn’t actually there, that I wasn’t actually dancing with Cooper. The whole thing felt like a dream, as if I were floating above the scene that surrounded me.

“Come with me,” Cooper said firmly in my ear before taking my hand and leading me through the ever-growing crowd and out into a dark hallway.

“Coop …” was all I could manage. Speech just wasn’t happening right now. My eyes were blurred, my body was limp, and it took every ounce of my strength to focus on the door we were heading towards.

Cooper swung the door open with force, and the warm night air hit me, causing me to sway further into Cooper’s arms.

“I’ve got you, baby,” I heard him say as my back slammed hard against the wall. “Cooper’s got you.”

His mouth crashed hard against mine, his tongue forcing its way hard into my mouth. He was rough, hard, taking everything that he could get; and I was weak – too weak to resist.

“God you taste good,” he growled before going in again. His kisses were bruising; the taste of blood suddenly filled my mouth.

Gripping his shirt with as much force as I could, I tried to push him away, but he was too heavy; his hard body was pressing me further and further into the wall. He had me so tight that I was struggling to take a breath, struggling to tell him no. He just carried on, taking everything that he could from me.

“Don’t fight me, baby; I know you want this too.”

His rough hands worked their way up my skirt, grazing hard against my thighs until he reached his destination.

Every attempt that I made to push him away was done in vain; he was too strong, too powerful for me to fight off.

“Don’t fight me, baby; you want this, I know you do, don’t fight me.” He tugged at my knickers, and with one loud tear they were gone. He threw them to the side and took my mouth again as his fingers skimmed the top of my thigh. I tried to push my legs together, tried so hard to stop him, but his knee was pressing between both my legs, holding me firmly in place. I started to cry; I couldn’t stop. I’d read about this; I’d seen it in films and on TV. I was about to be raped by one of the few people I could have called a friend just a couple of hours ago.

“Don’t do this,” I managed to say. “Please, Cooper, don’t hurt me; please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry!” I managed to raise my voice slightly, but it took every bit of what strength I had left; I could shout no more.

He placed his hand over my mouth to silence me. “I won’t hurt you; you want this just as much as I do,” he said in a hard tone, his face only inches from mine.

“Please.” I shook my head as tears streamed down my cheeks.

“You are beautiful. You have no idea how long I have waited for this.” I felt his fingers graze my folds, and I screamed as much as I could against his hand. But we were in the middle of a pitch-black deserted car park at the rear of the club. It was just Cooper and me; no one would hear me.

His fingers entered me roughly, pushing in and out over and over. It was so painful that it stung. Cooper placed his head on my shoulder. “Soft, so fucking soft; fucking hell, Jo.” His fingers quickly left me, and his hand left my mouth as he started working on his zip.

I screamed out for help as loud as I could, but his hand quickly covered my mouth again. “Don’t, Cooper, please don’t; this isn’t you,” I cried out in a muffled tone against his hand.

“I’m sorry,” He said as his hand left my mouth suddenly, “I’m so sorry.”

“Get your fucking hands of her, you son of a bitch!”

Cooper stumbled back away from me “Blake,” he said quietly.

Blake was pacing quickly towards Cooper, but before he stopped walking, his fist connected with Cooper’s jaw, sending him crashing hard to the floor. Blake crouched down, grabbing Cooper’s shirt in one hand while his other fist pounded into his face over and over again. Blood sprayed everywhere as punch after punch landed right on target.

“Blake stop, please, that’s enough; you’re going to kill him,” I said, gasping for air to fill my lungs. Suddenly my legs gave way and I felt myself slide slowly to the ground. I heard the pounding of Blake’s fist stop, and the sound of gravel crunched under his feet as he ran towards me, leaving Cooper wounded on the ground.

“Please … Blake … I …” it was becoming more and more difficult to force the words to leave my lips.

“What has he done to you?” He crouched in front of me, looking me over. “Jo … Jo, listen to me.” I could feel his hands gently tapping my cheeks, but I was completely unresponsive. “What have you taken, Jo? Tell me what you have taken!”

Blake’s face swayed in front of me. There were three, maybe four of Blake’s beautiful faces looking back at me with the deepest concern, but I couldn’t respond. I tried desperately to reach out to him, but my body had become numb, too numb to move.

I felt the world grow darker. My eyes struggled against the fight I was putting up to keep them open. Everything was closing in, and the closer it all got, the further away I felt I was lying.

The tunnel was back, and yet again there was no light.

My eyes felt blinded by the light that filled the room. Was this the end of the tunnel that I had been so desperate to reach recently? Had I finally made it to the end, where everything would be okay and I could finally be happy again? Was this what death actually felt like?

Forcing my eyes open again, I took note of the white walls, the beeping of machines around me. I was in hospital. My head felt as though it had been tightened in a vice. It hurt to move and it hurt to think, but I had no idea how I had ended up here.

There was only one thing that would replay in my mind as I tried desperately to recall the night’s events. Blake had been there. That was all I could remember, and the more I tried to think, the more I hurt. But the one thing I did remember was Blake’s face as I slowly blacked out in front of him; he was there, trying to help me.

“Blake,” I said hoarsely.

I felt the warmth of his hands as they wrapped around mine tightly.

“It’s okay, Jo; I’m here. Everything is going to be okay.”

“What happened?” I choked out with difficulty through the pain in my throat.

I still couldn’t open my eyes properly; it hurt too much. But I so wanted to see him, see his face, as he sat next to me and cared for me despite what a horrible cow I had been.

“Don’t try to remember anything; let’s get you better first,” I heard him say gently.

“Am I going to die?” I asked nervously. I heard Blake laugh once before one of his hands started stroking the hair away from my face.

“No, beautiful; you’re too pretty to die,” he said gently.

I felt myself melt into his words. After everything that I had done to him, he was here; he still cared.

“Water … I need water please.” I felt the warmth of his hands disappear. “Don’t leave me,” I pleaded.

“I’m right here.” His hand took mine and placed it around the cup.

I felt the straw touch my lips, and I took a long, welcome draw from it. I finally managed to force my eyes open to see Blake leaning over me as I soothed the gravelly feeling in my throat.

“Hey you” – he smiled with clear relief – “that was quite some scare you gave me last night.”

I handed the cup back to him, and he placed it on the table next to my bed.

“Can you remember anything?” he asked carefully.

I shook my head as I tried desperately to remember what had happened. “I only remember you.”

He gave me a tired smile as he perched himself on the edge of the bed, taking my hand in his again. I looked down at our hands knotted together. I had missed his touch so much. I felt safe and as if I were home when he held me like this. I focused my eyes onto his knuckles; they were grazed and scratched.

“What happened to your hands?” My eyes travelled up his body, and I noticed spots of blood speckled on his shirt. “And why do you have blood on your shirt?” Fear was creeping in. something bad had happened the night before that had resulted in Blake being hurt too. “Is that something to do with me?” I asked in horror. “Did someone hurt you because of me?”

“Nobody hurt me, Jo, I swear. The only thing that hurt me last night was when I thought we were going to lose you.” Blake leaned in hesitantly and placed his lips to my brow. He held his lips there for a moment before moving back just enough for our eyes to meet. “That scared me to death.” His hand gently swept my hair from my face. I leaned into the warmth of his hand; I had missed it so much.

I realized I had been holding my breath when the doctor entered the room. Blake stood and greeted the doctor before standing at the foot of the bed while the doctor came to my side.

“It’s good to see you awake, Miss Summers.” He spoke with a British accent; I immediately warmed to him. “I’m DR White; I’ve been looking after you since MR Mackenzie brought you here last night.”

He placed himself where Blake had been sitting just a moment before. “How do you feel this morning?” he asked as his eyes roamed over the notes in front of him.

“Like I’ve gone ten rounds with Tyson and lost every single one miserably.” I smiled weakly.

DR White smiled and placed his notes down beside him. “Miss Summers, your blood tests revealed a substance called gamma hydroxybutyrate, also known as GHB.”

I pushed on my hands to sit straighter in bed. “What is that?”

“Miss Summers, do you have any recollection of any events last night that may have been deemed unusual?”

“I can’t remember anything,” I said quietly. “Why?”

“There’s a high possibility that someone placed this drug in your drink; it’s known commonly as a date-rape drug,” he said with concern. I felt my body begin to tremor. Someone had raped me? Is that what he was saying? “Did you leave any drinks unattended last night? Or maybe did someone buy you a drink? Did you notice any strange behavior from any particular individual?”

“I’m sorry, Doctor.” I shook my head as a wave of emotion ran over me. “Have I been raped?” I asked before a sob escaped. I could see Blake standing with his arms folded; his fist was gently pressing against his lips, and his eyes were full of emotion. What had he seen?

“No,” he replied. “It seems your bodyguard over there got to you just in time.” He nodded towards Blake.

“Thank God,” I sighed with relief as my body relaxed back onto the bed.

“But the police will want to know if you can remember anything, or more importantly, who gave it to you in the first place.” He smiled and stood. “You should be good to go in a couple of hours. Get some rest, and I’ll be back later to see how you’re feeling.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly as my mind fought hard to remember any tiny scraps.

The doctor stopped when he approached Blake. “Just to prepare you, word has gotten out that you’re in here. You have a bit of a fan club building out on the nurses’ station.” He winked.

Blake laughed once. “Thanks for letting me know.”

DR White left the room, and Blake again took his space on the bed with my hand in his once more.

“What did you see last night, Blake?” I asked cautiously.

Blake took a deep breath but smiled through the obvious pain.

“Do you remember who you went out with last night?”

“Of course, Cooper picked me up and we went to Sugar,” I confirmed. “I only had three or four cocktails; now I know why it felt like I had drunk a hundred of them,” I complained.

“Did Cooper buy a drink for you?”

I thought hard, trying desperately to recall the night’s events. “I think so, yes.”

“Were you with him when he bought it?” His voice was careful as he tried to help me remember.

“No, I was with Marcus.”

Blake’s nostrils flared with anger, but he held it back. “Did anyone else buy you a drink, or did you leave any unattended?”

“I don’t remember.” Suddenly it dawned on me. “You think Cooper spiked my drink?”

Blake nodded. “I think he did, yes.”

“Cooper wouldn’t do that; he’s my friend, Blake.”

“Jo, he had you pinned against the wall with his hand up your skirt,” Blake said angrily before standing abruptly.

“What?”

“You were begging him to stop, but he wouldn’t,” he replied before turning his back to me. I could see his anger through every breath he was taking.

“Is that why you have blood on you? Did you hurt him?”

Blake turned to face me, his eyes filled with emotion.

“He almost raped the woman I love, Jo; I shouldn’t have stopped until he was dead.”

“Don’t say that,” I whispered.

“What? That I should have killed him or that I love you?”

My eyes filled with tears; I was too tired and felt too weak to try to stop them from spilling out. I turned and huddled myself into a ball, moving my eyes from his. I tried hard to focus on the few clouds that were sweeping slowly past the window.

“Don’t you want me to tell you the truth?”

I shook my head slowly.

“Seeing you walk out of the apartment with him last night killed me. Right here.” Lifting his hands to his chest, he pushed hard against his heart. “It killed me, Jo,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t bear it. I needed to see that you were okay, that you were safe. I needed to see that you wouldn’t end up going home with him.”

“He’s just a friend, Blake; he’s always only ever been a friend to me.”

“Friends don’t do what he did to you last night,” he choked out.

“There must have been a mistake. Someone else must have put something in my drink when I went to the bathroom. I know Cooper; I know that he isn’t the person you are making him out to be.”

“When are you going to take off those rose-tinted glasses of yours and see what everyone else around you is seeing?”

“You need to go,” I said quietly.

“I need you to take me back,” he pleaded.

“I’m no good for you, Blake. Just look at what happened last night. I am no good for you,” I said firmly, finally moving my gaze from the window to him. “You know that I have issues. I will pull you down, and you will regret ever meeting me.”

“One thing I can stand here and say with full conviction, Jo, is that I will never, ever regret the day that you walked into my life.”

“I have this ability to ruin lives. I did it to someone four years ago who only wanted to be happy, and I took that away from her and caused her pain. I’ve even done it to Sara, and now to you.”

“Nothing that happened with Sara was your fault; when are you going to believe that?”

“I can’t believe that, because it’s not the truth.”

“Then tell me,” he said, resting once more on the bed. “Tell me everything that you are keeping from me. Let me understand why you are pushing me away. Let me help you, please, Jo; let me love you.”

“It’s too late,” I whispered as a tear fell from my eyes.

“You are breaking me, Jo,” he said sadly. “Can’t you see that? You are breaking me.”

“You don’t know what it feels like to be broken.”

“Then why do I feel like my life is over because you’re not in it?”

“I want you to go,” I said, swallowing past the emotion. “I need you to go. Go out and meet someone else, someone with no baggage, no issues; someone who can love you exactly how you deserve to be loved. If you want to help me, Blake, then please, just go.”

Blake stood from the bed abruptly and started pacing the room. “You don’t know what you are saying to me, and you are not listening to what I am saying to you,” he said sharply. “I can’t just fall out of love with you. I can’t just go out and meet someone else when the only woman who I will ever love is you.” His voice was husky and full of hurt. “You’re still groggy, and you need some rest.” He picked his coat up and placed it over his arm. “There is no talking to you while you’re still feeling the effects of last night; you don’t know what you are saying to me. I know that you always think that running from problems will somehow fix them, but you’re wrong. At some point in your life, Jo, it’s time to stop running.”

The door opened, and Casey came rushing to my bedside. My eyes never left Blake’s as he walked to the door to leave. “See you soon, Jo.”

I heard the door click shut, and the dams burst. Casey threw her arms around me and held me while I cried everything that I had left inside me. Yet again I had let him go, let him walk out of my life, and the pain was back instantly – pain that I had never felt before, and I couldn’t imagine it was ever going to go away.

I left the hospital later that same day feeling a little more human but no better about how I had left things with Blake.

I was beginning to see that Blake was right. At some point in life it was time to stop running, stop running and face problems head-on, solve them and continue the rest of the journey rather than run and run until you can’t run any more.

He had told me that he loved me. After everything I had put him through and after how badly I had treated him, he loved me. Yet I did what I had trained myself to do since Michael; I pushed him away. How could there ever be another man on this planet that would do all that Blake had done for me when all I continued to do was push him away. I hadn’t told him, but I loved him too; so much that the pain I was feeling from loving him was worse than any physical pain I had ever experienced. I couldn’t tell him that I loved him, however; that would make me weak; and to keep myself strong, and to make sure that Blake moved on without me, I could never tell him just how far my love for him actually ran.

The only two people I spoke to over the next few days were Casey and my mum. I hadn’t left the apartment, and I hadn’t taken any calls from either Cooper or Blake. Blake stopped calling the day after my release from hospital, but Cooper was persistent. What could I say to him? What could he possibly say to me? I didn’t want to believe that he had drugged me, but the more I sat and tried to remember the night’s events, the more and more obvious it became that it must have been Cooper all along.

I was lying on the sofa, flicking through the channels on the TV with total disinterest, when the apartment door slammed shut, causing me to jump. Alex walked in and stood directly in front of me. His arms were folded firmly across his chest as he looked down at me with anger on his face.