Beautifully Unbroken (24 page)

I smiled seductively. “You know what talking like that to me does, don’t you?”

“I do, yes.” He smirked. “Are you all packed for tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I answered immediately.

“Are you tired?” he asked.

“No, but I would like to go to bed please,” I said seductively.

“That was what I was hoping you were going to say.” He nodded, looking pleased with himself as he picked me up and carried me through to my bedroom, where we proceeded to make up for not seeing each other for the previous twelve hours.

With Blake buried deep inside me, it was always so easy to forget the reality of life. It was easy to forget any fear, stress, or worry that I had allowed to creep inside of me right up until Blake had knocked at the door. All of those feelings were now gone and had been replaced by the only thing I felt when Blake was present. Love.

“Hi,” Blake whispered as he lay panting above me as we slowly came back down to earth after our third orgasm.

“Hi yourself,” I whispered as I reached up and brushed the hair away from his eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he said, placing his lips to the palm of my hand and kissing gently over and over again.

“How long do you think this will last?”

Blake stopped kissing me and looked at me with a concerned expression. “What do you mean?”

“You know, the whole can’t keep our hands to ourselves, can’t touch each other without it ending with sex over and over again, missing each other when we’re only apart for a few hours … how long do you think that will last?”

Blake looked into my eyes, seeing that fear that I was displaying to him. “I’m gonna go with forever,” he said honestly.

“Forever?” I smiled.

He nodded. “Forever.”

“So,” I said quietly as my fingers trailed circles around his pecs, “your mum and dad are still going through that phase then?”

I failed to hide my own amusement as Blake’s face changed. He scrunched his eyes shut and shook his head. “I can’t believe you just put that image into my head while I’m lying here still hard as a rock and buried deep inside you,” he said in disgust, which only caused me to laugh even more.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to hide my laughter beneath my hand.

“You have just totally killed the moment,” he said in a firm tone laced with amusement, climbing off me. “No more sex for you tonight, lady.”

“Where are you going?” I whined.

“I now need a shower to rid me of those thoughts.” He shuddered.

I shuffled to the edge of the bed and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him back onto me. “I hope they’re quiet when we visit this weekend,” I teased.

“No no no! Let me go!” he demanded.

“Mmm, Marti, that’s it; harder, faster, ah yes!” I said, continuing to tease him as I held him tight with my legs.

“Fuck me, your legs are strong,” he said, struggling against me.

“Aahhh, Marti, I’m gonna … I’m gonna …”

Blake’s fingers squeezed my ribs as he started tickling me, knowing how much I hated it. I let my legs flop to the side in an effort to stop him, but he continued his assault.

“Are you done now or do I need to continue?” he panted.

“Yes, yes, I’m done! I’m sorry! Stop, please!” I screamed.

“Promise?” he asked, holding his fingers against my ribs.

Keeping my mouth closed firmly, I nodded. Blake leaned down and kissed me once before jumping off the bed.

I couldn’t resist one more tease. “Ah, Julia, yes!”

Blake’s body was once again above me, ticking me everywhere he could. “Do you surrender?”

“I do! I’m sorry! Please stop!” I screamed.

Blake’s grip on me loosened and his expression softened. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Forever.”

I stood in the kitchen window and watched as our children played happily in the garden. Our two boys were climbing the large trees while our daughter sat with her nanny in the middle of the large lawn, brushing her dolly’s hair whilst singing happily.

Blake and My dad were busy fixing the swing that hung from one of the large trees at the bottom of the garden, which he had made for me as a child. The ropes had become frayed and broken off as a result of overuse over the years.

I smiled happily, feeling content that I had finally gotten everything that I had always dreamed of: the perfect house, a loving family around me, and the man that I loved by my side. I feared nothing anymore; no one could ever hurt me again.

Warm hands wrapped around me, cradling my ever-expanding stomach. Baby number four was due to arrive any day now, and everything was perfect.

Leaning back into the warmth, I continued to watch everyone that I loved. Suddenly the sunny sky blackened. Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance, but no one except me seemed to notice. The image of my dad standing next to the ladder that Blake stood on started to fade as he turned towards the storm and began walking towards it. I snapped my attention to the lawn. My mum was gone too, leaving only our daughter playing and singing to herself, oblivious that she was no longer playing with her nanny but instead was alone. I scanned to the trees; the boys were nowhere to be found. Then my eyes went back to the lawn. My little girl was gone too; only her dolly lay where she had sat only moments before. Then a clatter of lightning lit up the sky before I heard an almighty crash. Snapping my head to the right, I saw Blake lying on the ground, motionless. The ladder that he had been standing high on had given way, sending him crashing to the floor.

I tried to move, but the hands that were wrapped around my waist pulled me back, the grip tightening with force. I fought so hard, shouting out to Blake over and over again. I shouted to him that I was coming, but I couldn’t move. A hand against my mouth silenced me. I was screaming, screaming so loudly, but no words would escape. “I did warn you, didn’t I?” a voice hissed in my ear. “I told you not to walk away from me. Look at what you have caused, Jo, because you
just … didn’t … listen
.” The harsh tone of his voice made me shudder. The more he spoke, the harder I tried to escape; the harder I tried to escape, the more he gripped me, pulling me away – far, far away – from Blake and everyone that I loved.

My breathing accelerated. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach. “You are mine now, Jo, all mine; you remember that.”

I screamed, but no one could hear me. I called out to my dad to come back, to help me, but he kept on walking; he wouldn’t come back. I tried to call out to Blake, but the blood that now surrounded him told me that he wouldn’t be coming back to me either.

My body wriggled and squirmed as I continued to scream. I was screaming as loud as I could, yet it felt as though the noise was muted.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here; it’s okay. Jo, stop fighting me; I’m here.”

My eyes shot open and my body bolted upright. Sweat was pouring from me, and I couldn’t breathe through the panting. It took a moment to realize my surroundings. I was home; I was safe. Blake was next to me, soothing me, calming me. “It was just a dream,” he said calmly. “Just a dream, it’s okay.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I shot out of bed quickly and ran to the bathroom. Crouching over the toilet, my body convulsed as I emptied my stomach of its entire contents. I felt Blake’s presence as he knelt down next to me and took my hair from my face.

“I’m okay,” I panted. “I don’t want you to see me like this, Blake. Please, I’m okay.”

“I’m not leaving you,” he said gently as he held my hair in one hand and dampened a washcloth with the other. Gently he held the washcloth against my already drenched skin and soothed me.

“It’s okay,” he continued to say over and over to me. “I’m here.”

Once my stomach was empty and the heaving stopped, I took the cloth from Blake and stood shakily. Blake took my elbow and guided me to the sink, where I cleaned myself up.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Blake asked carefully. I nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head and refused to look up at him although I could see him watching me through the bathroom mirror. I took my toothbrush from the cupboard, squirted it with toothpaste, and started brushing my teeth.

Tears stung my eyes as the nightmare replayed over and over in my mind. Seeing my dad there had felt nice until I realized it was a nightmare. It hurt so much. I had been thinking about my dad a lot recently, about how happy he would be to see me being loved so much by someone whom I could see my future with.

I had wanted to dream about my dad so much since he left us, to know that he was okay and that we were all going to be okay too. I had desperately wanted him to tell me so. Why did he have to be in one dream that I wanted to forget desperately?

I put my toothbrush back into the cup and wiped my mouth clean. Holding the towel against my face, I allowed a small sob to escape – a tiny bit of release from the first nightmare I had experienced since six months after Imogen had been found dead. Blake was at my side instantly, holding me, once more telling me over and over that everything was going to be okay.

“Come back to bed,” he said smoothly. “I will hold you; I will make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t face going back to bed yet.” I stepped past Blake and walked through to the lounge. I then sat on the sofa, pulling my knees to my chest, gently rocking as the thoughts of the nightmare played over and over in my mind.

Blake returned moments later with pillows and blankets and laid me down, making sure I was as comfortable as I could be. After making sure I was okay, Blake turned on the TV and started scanning the channels. After finding nothing that suited, he then opened the TV unit and began looking through the DVDs. He emerged a couple of moments later holding up his choice. “
Grown Ups
?” he suggested.

I nodded, watching how much he loved caring for me. He didn’t deserve any secrets to be kept from him. “Blake?” I said through the tears.

“What is it?” He paused the DVD and sat next to me.

“If I tell you something, will you promise me – and I mean really promise me – that you won’t fly off the handle and start shouting?”

“What’s happened?” he asked without making any promises.

“I saw Cooper today.” I swallowed hard.

“What? Where?”

“I was on my way to meet Casey, and he caught me up in the street.”

“Did he touch you, hurt you? What did he do?” Blake asked frantically.

“Nothing,” I wept. “He just said he wanted to know that I was okay and to watch my step, whatever that means.”

“What!” Blake adjusted in his seat and turned to face me.

“Then, tonight, I found this. It was pushed under the door before you got here.” I took the note from my pocket and showed it to Blake.

“‘Slut’?” he said, confused. “Well they’re obviously not talking about you, are they?”

“Do you think it has something to do with Cooper?”

Blake studied the note intently. “I’m not sure. Were you too afraid to tell me because of the other night?” His eyes lifted from the note to me.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I just … I don’t want you to go after him. Not because I want to protect him, because I don’t, but I just don’t want this, any of it.”

Blake sighed. “Come here.”

I shuffled over into his arms while he comforted me. “Don’t do anything stupid, Blake, okay?”

“I won’t.” He placed his lips to my head. “Did Cooper in any way threaten you?”

“No,” I said quickly. “He was friendly; the letter may just be a coincidence.”

“Maybe,” he said. “Don’t keep anything like this to yourself again, Jo. I know you want to be strong, but I need to know you’re safe. That means telling me everything, okay?”

“Okay,” I replied.

Blake made us both a cup of tea before we started the DVD, hoping to wipe the nightmare from my mind. I could tell he was thinking about Cooper and the letter, and I hoped that he wouldn’t do anything irrational until we knew whether the note was even connected.

Watching him as he sat gently rubbing the soles of my feet, I imagined that my nightmare could one day become reality, losing everyone that I have ever loved and having no one to pick up my pieces when I fall apart. It frightened me so much. Blake had no idea what my nightmare was even about, but he was caring for me, helping me to overcome whatever demons were present at that time. I needed this. I needed him and his balance of calm to tackle my fear. I realized at that moment that not only did I love Blake unconditionally, but that I also really couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.

When I woke, the sun was shining through the apartment. I felt much calmer and happier than I had only a few hours before. I had drifted off at some point during the film, while Blake had moved his attention from my feet and legs up to my head and neck. I felt surprisingly refreshed as I stood and went to look for him.

I found him in the kitchen, making breakfast. His back was to me, and he was talking quietly to someone on the phone.