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Authors: Sibylla Matilde

BOOK: Because of Kian
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His muscles tensed and his eyes burned through the dim light filtering down from the street lamps. His breathing
hitched, and his grip tightened at my hip, pulling me more solidly against him and encircling me with the handlebars. My fingertips grazed the hard angle of his jaw, rough with stubble, and his tongue swept across his lips. The quick visual wrenched a small groan from my throat, and he lowered his head to kiss me.

Leisurely, smoothly, his tongue swept across mine, his
arm held me firmly. His kiss seared me, inflamed my senses and made me shiver. My hands crept along his broad shoulders and I pulled myself tighter against him. I slowly drew back, my breathing shaky and forced. I looked up at his heavy-lidded gaze.

"Take me home, Kian," I whispered.

"Yeah," he murmured with a slight nod. "But, baby, you're gonna have to hop on the back because you are way too tempting to be sitting where you are right now. I wouldn't make it a fucking block."

Kian

Fucking hell
, it felt so good to be touching her again. To hear her sighs and whimpers, to taste her lips and crush her against me.

The ride to her place was sheer torture, her full breasts pressed against my back and her fingers digging into my gut. By the time we made it in her door, I was like a teenager about to explode in my
jeans.

But, f
uck, s
he was drunk and pissed. That motherfucking Holly MacPherson had shown up at the bar tonight and would not leave me the fuck alone. She all but grabbed my junk right there. It was a relief when she finally started mashing out with her friend. I’m sure she figured a little girl-on-girl would get my juices flowing, but the only woman I wanted in that place was sitting at the bar downing screwdrivers like water and getting more and more pissed as the night wore on.

Sadistic, maybe, but it was good to see Brynn get jealous, even if it was a side-effect of the vodka. In a way, her anger professed an unspoken claim.

Her animosity had faded quickly, replaced by a burning lust as evidenced by that blazing hot kiss outside Hyper. But the way she’d been pouring booze down her throat, she’d likely be even more pissed tomorrow when she woke up naked in my arms. Things had gone to shit so quickly after that romp in the gym, I didn’t want to risk her freaking out over a drunken fuck fest.

"Baby,"
I breathed against her neck, my hands stilling Brynn’s writhing body, "you had more drinks than I could keep track of tonight. You’re fuckable as all hell, but I don't want you to wake up tomorrow regretting this."

"Orange juice..."
she trailed off as her lips roamed down my neck. "I just drink orange juice."

My
head shot up and my hand guided her gaze towards mine. "What?"

"I don't drink
alcohol,” she whispered up at me, her soft lips glistening wet from my voracious kiss. “I’m too afraid of losing control. Of my judgment being altered and getting in a tight spot. I drink orange juice so people think I’ve got some kind of mixed drink. It saves a lot of hassle. I’ve got it all worked out with Sage."

I was astounded.
I’d had no clue. No idea in the slightest. I just figured she was fucking awesome at holding her liquor.

Her lips dipped to the cords of my neck
, and she traced along the contour with the tip of her tongue, up towards my ear.
Sweet Jesus.
Every drop of blood in my body raced straight to my dick.

"I'm not doing this because I'm drunk, Kian,” she breathed against my skin with a heady rasp. “I'm doing this because I want you.
Now. I want to get lost in you, to feel you inside me again." She nipped slightly, drawing a deep groan out of my chest as she dipped her tongue into my ear. "I want you like nothing I’ve ever felt before," she murmured.

She’d
gone along with my thinking she was drunk in order to be with me. She came with me knowing she wasn’t the slightest bit intoxicated. She wanted me, and fuck if I was going to let her go again.

An
overpowering animalistic urge took over, and I lifted her against the wall, gripping her ass, and pressing against her with my heavily muscled frame. Her legs wrapped around my waist and she ground her hot little pussy against my dick, intensifying the ache and setting every nerve in my body on fire.

Oh my fuck
, I'd forgotten just how good she felt
.

One
of my hands slipped up under her skirt and into her lacy panties as the other slid and groped its way up her body into her hair. I ground my hips against her, circling the pressure, over and over until a ragged sob tore from her throat.

Her
hands began to rip at the buttons of my flannel shirt, tugging the soft fabric away to bare my chest, and she plastered herself against my skin, arching up to my devouring kiss.

"Fuck..."
I groaned against her lips as her hands slid down my chest and abs to reach for the buttons of my jeans. She tugged the fly open with an erotic moan, and my aching length was suddenly hot in her hand, throbbing and pulsing.
Holy hell
. Holding her firmly with one hand, I reached in my back pocket with the other, grabbing my wallet and quickly freeing a condom. Pulling away from her kiss with a gasp, I ripped at the package with my teeth. Her hand followed mine down to my dick, and she pinched the tip as I rolled on. I ripped away the scrap of lace that covered her sweet, hot little pussy and pressed her back against the wall, stretching her full with my throbbing cock.

"Oh, God, baby..."
The groan ripped from my throat, my face pressed against her rapidly beating pulse. "So fucking hot."

I withdrew slightly and pushed
back in with a brute rush, feeling the smooth slide of her squeezing me tightly. Tremors pulsed throughout me with each thrust, and I growled as I pounded her against the wall. Brynn’s nails clawed at my shoulders, scraping and digging into the flesh, and my fingers dug into the soft curve of her ass.

Hot and wild and frantic.
All too soon, her body tensed and she shuddered around me, crying out, calling my name, begging for more, harder, faster. And then, unable to hold out any longer, I detonated inside her.

I felt like I had touched the sky
.

Chapter
9 ~ Guilt
  • Dear Agony ~ Breaking Benjamin
  • Burning Desire ~ Lana Del Ray

 

 

Brynn

“I’ve got to admit, I think I did actually try to make you jealous tonight,” Kian ruefully murmured. “Not that I was encouraging those girls, but I wasn’t doing much to stop them. Honestly, though, all I could think was that I wanted you there in front of me instead of them.”

We had finally managed to get to my bedroom. It had taken a little while to come back to earth after the mindblowing sex in the hallway. Kian had
carried my languid body, still connected to his, to lay me on the bed. He kissed my eyelids and removed my disarrayed clothing. After leaving me for a moment to toss the condom, he shucked off his shirt and jeans, then slid into the cool, smooth sheets beside me. His large frame wrapped around my body, sheltering me in the warm security of his embrace.

“I should probably confess, also, then,” I whispered. “I was jealous… very much so.”

“I got a little worried that it was going to backfire, though, when that skuzzy dude came up to you at the bar,” he admitted as his lips brushed up against my forehead.

“Oh my God, you shouldn’t have,” I softly chuckled. “He was completely soused. I was kind of a bitch to him, but he apparently was intrigued by the challenge.”

“So they were fucking with you,” he ground out.

“I took care of it,” I smiled softly.
“Nailed him in the groin, and he dropped like a rock.”

Kian laughed softly. “
I’ve never been so ecstatic to hear about a guy getting kneed in the nuts.”

He
rose up on his elbow above me, rolling me slightly so he was leaning over me. The soft amethyst glow from my little dresser nightlight dimly illuminated the hard contours of his face, just enough to see the seriousness of his expression.

“It’s probably a good thing you got to him first. I wanted to kill that fucker
in the bar for even talking to you.”


It’s a very stupid game we play sometimes,” I said softly, grazing my fingertips along his strong jaw. “I try so hard
not
to want you. You’re kinda like crack though. As much as I fight it, I can’t seem to stay away. Even though it’s not good for me. Or you.”

“Who says?”

“I’m a mess, Kian,” I whispered. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“Brynn, nobody’s as together as they seem. Everyone has skeletons in their closet and monsters under their bed.” He brushed the hair back from my forehead with an amazingly gentle touch
for such large, strong hands.

“What are yours?” I asked.

His brow knitted tightly, and he averted his eyes for a moment.

“My mom,” he finally murmured softly
, looking back at me. “This ink,” he nodded towards his tattooed shoulder, “it’s a Celtic motherhood knot. For her. To remind me of what I did.”

I leaned up to trace my finger along the intricate
design that decorated his shoulder.

“What does this say? Is it Gaelic or something?”

He nodded almost imperceptibly. “It says ‘
my mother
’ on the one side, and on the other ‘
forever in my heart
.’”

“That’s
… so sweet and sad.” ” I whispered. His voice had sounded incredibly forlorn and remorseful. “What happened?”


After my dad died, it was just her and I for a long time. She called me the man of the house,” he smiled sadly. “I tried to be, even though I was just a kid. As the years went on, though, I pulled away a little. A typical teenage boy. She let me, knowing I needed the space. Knowing I needed to be my own man, and not just hers.”

The despondency, the sheer
grief, which emanated from Kian was palpable. It weighted his spirit and tugged sharply at my heart.

“She was… lonely,” he continued.
“She didn’t really have much other than me, so she started seeing this guy, a mechanic who had worked on her car. Before long, they got married. It was a small town, and there wasn’t a lot to choose from. I think she saw security, someone to help her feel less alone, especially since I was so distant. Fuck, this guy was kind of an asshole, though. I hated him, pulled away even more. ” Kian rolled to his back, using one arm to keep me pulled tightly against his side, and I nuzzled my face in to the crook of his neck. “We pretty much just fought. He pushed me around a little, I pushed back. It tore her apart, so I tried to shield her from it. I tried to get along with that bastard, but I was never good enough. Over and over again, he’d fuck with me until I lost my cool. It was a train wreck, and she decided to leave him. But I left instead, before she could. I’d just graduated, so I packed up my shit and took off.”

I trailed my fingers along his chest as he spoke, tracing his collarbone and
skimming down his shoulder over the coiled pattern of ink. Over the scripted letters that perfectly accented the knot.

“With me gone,” Kian said quietly, “he turned on her. She wasn’t able to get out fast enough, and he…” His voice trailed off with a sharp hitch of emotion. “Fuck,” he muttered. “I’ve never said this aloud.”

I lifted myself to rise above him, stroking his jaw, doing everything I could to comfort him as he continued.

“He
really fucked her up. I got a call from the hospital as her next of kin. She was barely alive when I got there. He’d beaten her so bad that I could hardly recognize her. It was more than her fragile body could take. She slipped away from me while I sat there wishing it was me that he’d beaten.” His voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “That fucker killed her.” The raw agony in his voice shredded me. Kian pushed his head back into the pillows of my bed and stared unseeing at the ceiling. “I should have never left her.” His words barely audible in the quiet room.

“Kian,
you can’t blame yourself for that,” I offered solemnly.


But I left her there, knowing what an absolute fucking bastard he was.” He swallowed hard and shook his head faintly. “Right before she died, she whispered that she loved me, and that she knew I had to get away.” He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly with a shudder. “She apologized… to me.”

His eyes closed tightly as I
caressed his clenched jaw, ran my fingertips over his eyebrows, desperately trying to absorb some of his guilt and agony. I didn’t know what to say. How to ease his suffering.

“God, I wanted to kill him.
I wanted to rip him apart with my bare hands.” Kian shook his head slightly in frustration. “He had been arrested after he hurt her. Was found guilty of manslaughter. Fucker got shanked in prison. Bled out on the floor of the God-damned cafeteria. He deserved a lot worse.”

I gently combed my fingers through the short hair that fell over his forehead, then kissed his cheek softly and pressed myself tightly against him.

“No wonder you were so angry when you saw Evan hit me,” I murmured.

His arms tightened around me in response, his fingers toying with the hair that spilled down my back. “I wanted to kill that fucker, too. I still do, every time I think about it.”

“I was lucky you showed up when you did.”

“I’m not sure how much of that was luck
…” he trailed off.

Something about the tone of his voice made me raise my head to meet his gaze in the shadows.

“What do you mean?”

His fingers cupped my cheek.
“I wanted you from the first time I saw you. Since you first walked past me in Hyper one night. Quite a while before I chased Evan off.”

“How long before?”

He seemed to be battling one of those monsters he’d mentioned earlier. A flutter of apprehension wafted through my gut, wrought of confusion. The unease that emanated from him was unnerving.

“When I was little kid,” he said softly, “before my dad died, we took a vacation
to Hawaii. I was really little and I don’t remember much. I faintly remember the beach and that we drove all over in the mountains which made me carsick.”

I
watched him closely as he spoke, trying to imagine the little boy he had once been. It seemed so foreign, this big, formidable, strong man as a small child.

“But,” he continued, “the thing I remember the most was getting off the plane
… and the scent that filled the air. It was thick with the sweet smell of some kind of fresh flowers. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, leaving Montana in the harsh winter and landing there in paradise. The warmth with that amazing smell all around me.”

He
shifted, rolling me to my back and lifting onto his elbows above me. One of his hands cupped my face as his thumb grazed my cheekbone. “And then, I was standing with the guys in Hyper one night, and I caught a whiff of that exact same scent. So fresh and sweet… just like heaven. And it took me right back to what was truly the happiest moment of my life.” He softly kissed my lips, then murmured up against them. “It was you. You had just walked by me. You smell like Hawaii.”

“How long ago was that?” I whispered
.

“A couple months ago.”

“That’s…”

“C
razy?”

“Well, a little,” I
laughed quietly, “but it’s kinda awesome, too.”

Kian smiled wryly down at my
awe-struck expression.

“I could always tell when you were close. I could smell your sweet
, fresh scent. I swear, I could follow you through a room blindfolded.” He buried his face into my neck again, breathing me in and pulling all my emotion to the surface. “All the smells of the club – the smoke and the sweat and the booze – but I could pick up on your scent the minute you came through the door.”

“I’m not sure what to say,” I mumbled. “I’m
kinda speechless. A couple of months? That was when I first got here.”

“Yeah, I think it was. You always looked so sad, and it was like I had to take care of you. I
looked for you, knew the minute you came and watched over you when you left.”

“Sage
actually kinda mentioned something about that, but I didn’t realize it went back that far. She said the guys gave you all kinds of shit for it, though.”

A deep, soft chuckle resounded in his chest. “They did.
Fucking Jeff. I’m glad I did, though. Because one night, I followed you outside to make sure you were okay, and I saw that fucker hit you. I went ballistic.”

“I vaguely remember that. I was pretty out of it, but I remember hearing your voice.”
Suddenly, a small giggle escaped my lips.

“What?” Kian asked.

“You told him to pretend you were a girl.”

He laughed softly. “Nice that you could remember
that
part.” He softly kissed my lips. “Honestly, when I looked at him, I saw my stepdad. So, see?” he murmured against my brow. “You’re not the only one who’s got a few screws loose.”

I let loose of another
soft giggle. “You’re kinda like my stalker.”

He averted his gaze with a light groan.

“But, Kian?” I said, using my hands to bring his eyes back to me, to face me, “I kinda like that.”

I lifted my lips to his, using his heavy frame to pull myself up against him. Slowly, he deepened the kiss,
languidly tightening his arms around me. His lips trailed down my throat, and he nipped gently at my collarbone. I gasped at the hint of pain, and my nails dug into his shoulders.

“Fuck, I only had one condom,” he whispered against my skin before lifting his head to capture my gaze. “And I really want to fuck you again.”

Every system in my body froze at the directness of his words. My breathing completely halted. My heart stopped beating. My mind went completely blank.

“I’ll have to improvise,” he said, and lowered his lips back to my neck, trailing them all over my body.
Teasing my breasts as he sucked and lightly bit my sensitive, heated flesh. His kisses rained down my abdomen, pausing just above my smooth sex. The burn deep in my pelvis began to grow, to ache. His fingertips breached my wet center, massaging me deeply while he rained biting kisses along my inner thighs, building the need inside me.

I nearly exploded when
his lips closed over my clit. His arms slid under my legs, urging them up over his shoulders, while his hands curled around my thighs to force them farther apart. Spread wide open before him, for him to lave and savor. To sweep his tongue deeply inside as my body began to shake.

“Kian,” I moaned.
“Oh my God.”

“That’s it, baby,” he murmured against my heated, drenched pussy. “You’re almost there.”

His hot words against my swollen clit prodded me over the cusp, and I shattered with a sharp cry under the ministrations of his lips.

In a rush, he covered me again, and my hands immediately sought out his pulsing, hot length. Stroking and pumping it slowly as it pressed against my
aching sex. His lips fell upon me, and I could taste the unfamiliar juices of my orgasm. The erotic flavor heightened all the sensations around me, increasing my burning desire.

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