Becca (21 page)

“He’s not going to see
her,” Bill said.

“She’s asking for him,
Bill. She wants to see him.”

Bert walked to the
treatment room. Bill rushed to him and grabbed his arm. Bert shrugged it away. “You
can’t see her.”Bill demanded.

“Mr. Smith,” the doctor
said, “I need to speak with you and your wife.”

Bert stepped into the
room. Becca lay on the bed, her leg immobilized in a splint that looked huge on
her. She was pail. She favored him with a weak smile.

“I’m getting some more of
that good stuff,” she said. “Oh my God, do I love it. Whoo-hoo, my head is
swimming. I’m floating, Josh.” She looked down at her right foot. “I need a
pedicure, don’t you think so? Oh, my mouth is running off on its own. I’m not
thinking clearly, so excuse me if I say something weird.”

“That’s okay.”

“I got a hair line
fracture right here,” she pointed at the area where her tumor was. “It didn’t
break completely, but it’s a good thing I came in here when I did or it might
have snapped. They can’t do anything with it right now except keep it still.”

“I’m sorry,” Bert said.

“Stop saying that. Give
me your hand. My father wants to kill you. Stay away from him. But you gotta
come see me tomorrow after the surgery, please, Josh.”

“I will.”

“I’m going to be okay,
right?”

“Yes.”

“Hello, Rebecca,” a man’s
voice said from the door.

“Doctor London,” Becca
said with a smile. “How are you?”

“What happened to you?”
He clasped her hand and patted it.

“I broke my leg.”

“How did you do that?”

Becca said. “I banged it
against the gearshift and the dashboard—but it had really been hurting me all
day anyway, so I didn’t think anything of it. Oh, that’s Josh, he was there. We
would’ve made it into the back seat if Ronald McDonald hadn’t banged on the
window to stop us.”

Dr. London gave a quick
smile to Bert. “Ronald McDonald? I think we need to reduce your dosage.”

“Oh, no, make it higher. I
love it.” Becca giggled.

Dr. London touched her
leg gingerly, and then looked up at the x-ray displayed above her bed.

“How could it break it so
easy, Dr. London?” Becca asked.

Dr. London patted her
shoulder. “It’s not uncommon with this type of cancer. It weakens the bone, and
the slightest trauma could cause a fracture.”

“So…you’ll fix it when
you go back in, right?”

“We’ll see, Rebecca. We
may want to wait until the bone heals before we take the cancer.”

“That doesn’t make
sense.”

“We’ll decide tomorrow,
okay?”

“If you get in there
tomorrow, will you get it all out?”

“I am hoping so. From the
x-ray image, it appears to be easily accessible, but of course, we won’t know
until we get in there.

“Young man,” Dr. London
said to Bert, “we’re going to take her to her room now.”

“Josh, come with me.”

“I’m sorry, Rebecca, he
can’t. Family only.”

“I don’t want my family
to come with me, I want
him.”

“Sorry, Rebecca.”

“What time are you going
in?” Becca asked.

“Nine AM.”

“Josh, come see me tomorrow evening,
okay?”

VII

Bert walked out of the
room and Bill confronted him.

“You,” Bill said, poking
his finger at the air in front of Bert, “stay away from her.”

“I haven’t done anything
to her,
Bill.”
He kept walking.

“Are you listening to me,
young man?” Bill said and his finger prodded Bert’s shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.”

“I’ll do what I need to
do to keep her away from you.”

“She can see who she
wants to.”

“Not your kind.”

“My kind? Tell all these
people what kind I am. I’m the same kind as Alex—the same kind as your grandson
would have been.”

Bill’s fist came up to
connect with Bert’s cheek. Bert stumbled back and collided with the wall. He
recovered quickly and saw the stunned look on everyone’s face. Two male
orderlies were hurrying down the hallway, the emergency room doctor started for
him, but Bert waved him away.

“I’m okay,” Bert said. He
smirked. “A sucker punch. Really, Bill why not hit me now?”

“You started it.”

“I didn’t and you know it.
I have witnesses who know what really happened.”

An orderly wheeled Becca
out of her room, with Dr. London walking along side. “What’s going on?” she
asked as her mother caught up with her and walked alongside.

“It’s nothing, honey,”
Mary said, taking her hand.

“Josh, I’ll see you
tomorrow!” Becca called out, trying to turn in the bed to see him.

“For sure,” Bert called
after her and then turned for the door.

“Don’t turn your back on
me!” Bill shouted.

The two orderlies
followed Bert to the door. “I’m leaving, guys,” Bert said. “And I don’t need an
escort.”

“You come back here!”
Bill shouted. “You come
back
here!”

Bert walked out.

VIII

“Did he hurt you?” Becca
asked.

“No. He surprised me,
that’s all.”

“I’m sorry it happened.”

“That’s okay, Becca.”

“No, it’s
not
okay.
I’m ashamed of him.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“How do you know?”

“Your father won’t dare
do it again. He only gets one shot. Next time I take the first shot and he
won’t want that.”

“I haven’t talked to him,
you know. I refuse to. He’s on my shit list.”

“I didn’t know you had a
shit list.”

“I just started one.” She
sighed. “Is it wrong for a child not love a parent, Josh?”

“I don’t know. I guess
that depends on what the parent has done to the child.”

“I don’t love my father. I
don’t hate him, but I don’t love him. Since Alex…since then my father has acted
like he doesn’t love me, so I’ve decided I don’t need to love him. Anyway, I didn’t
call you to talk about him. I called you to tell you that Doctor London didn’t
operate on me. He wants to wait a while.

“He took another x-ray
and he thinks he’d rather have the bone heal before going after the tumor. I
think he wants to try and shrink it with radiation chemicals or something
before going in.”

“That’s good isn’t it?”

“Anything’s better than
having someone slice you open. Dr. London is starting me on radiation and
chemotherapy and he wants me to stay in here for a bit to see how I react to
them. I guess it can be pretty gruesome.”

“Gruesome?”

“Puking, diarrhea,
profuse sweating, flatulence, nausea—really neat stuff. If I’m going to be
doing all that, Bert, I don’t want you to see me.”

“It wouldn’t matter.”

“So if I hit you with
projectile vomiting, fart, or shit my pants while you’re visiting, you won’t
mind?”

“Hmmm, on second
thought.”

She giggled. “What the
hell am I laughing at? This is serious.” Then, after a short pause she said,
“When are you leaving?”

“Soon.”

“You have to see me before you go. Don’t
you
dare
leave without coming in here to see me—projectile vomiting and flying
shit should not be a deterrent, okay?”

IX

“Hey you,” Becca said
from her bed when Bert walked in. “Sorry these couple of weeks have been so
weird.”

“I understand, Becca,”
Bert said.

“But I thought we’d have
more time together. The docs told me how I might react to the treatment, but
holy cow, I didn’t think it’d be like this. I had body fluids going every which
way. I’m in here now because…well because they observing me…hahaha.”

“Am I safe from bodily
fluids now?”

“I should be okay for a
while. But I’ve got this nausea that’s making me sick.” She giggled. “You know
what I mean. Come closer,” she said and beckoned him with her finger. He did,
leaning over to her. His face inches from hers. “Take that mask off.”

“They told me to keep it
on.”

“I’m telling you to take
if off. Just for a second.”

“I’m not supposed to
breathe on you.”

“Stop breathing, but take
that damn mask off.”

He took it off.

She reached up with her
hands, pulled his face to her, and kissed him hard and passionately. Then she
released him. “Thanks,” she said.

“I should be thanking
you.”

“I needed that,” she
said.

Bert slipped the mask
back over his mouth and held her hands and they fell silent for a few minutes. He
soothed her hair and kissed her forehead with the mask on.

“It’s tomorrow, isn’t
it?” Becca asked suddenly. “Oh, my God, that’s…oh, I guess I lost track of time.
I thought we had more time. I knew this day was coming…I just didn’t want it to
get here. I didn’t see you enough.”

“You weren’t allowed
visitors for a few days. The nurses told me on the phone. And you said not to
come in—”

“My father was here a lot
and I didn’t want you two to mix it up. He did that on purpose. See, that’s
another reason why I hate him.” She waved her hand at him.

He rubbed the back of his
hand across her cheek. “I can’t imagine what it’s like,” he said seriously.

“It’s not fun, that’s for
sure. I’m pissed off ‘cause I won’t be able to see you off at the airport. Well,
don’t look so sad, Josh, you’ll be back before you know it. Right?”

“Yes, before I know it.”

“You don’t sound very
sure of that. Look, this sucks. But what can we do? You’ll come back after
basic training, right? Then you go to training and then—.” Becca stopped
herself and covered her eyes with her hand momentarily. “I can’t think beyond
that, okay? We’ll face what’s next when…when it happens. What horrible timing,
huh?

“You’re going to miss me,
right?”

Her change of subject
caught him off guard, but he smiled and said, “Yes.”

“I’m worried that you
won’t think of me.”

“I’ll always think of
you.”

“I don’t know what to do
when you’re gone. Don’t report for induction.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I know.” She sighed and
that turned into a long yawn. She then poked his arm with her finger. “I want
you to promise me that you’ll write.”

“I will, Becca. And I’ll
call you when I get a chance.”

“And in a couple of
months we’ll see each other again.”

Bert wished he could be
as positive as Becca. He wondered if this would be the last time he saw her and
then dispelled that notion immediately. “That’s right,” he said.

They spoke of other
things and laughed, and held hands, losing track of time until the announcement
that visiting hours were ending in five minutes.

“Listen, I’m going ball
like a baby here in a second,” Becca said, “but right now I’m going to throw
up. Can you give me a minute to puke my guts out?”

Bert helped her out of
bed and to the bathroom. She seemed so frail and she shuffled with a tired
gate. When she was finished in the bathroom, Becca came out and wrapped her
arms around Bert, hugging him tightly.

“I don’t want you let you
go, but I don’t have the strength to hold you back,” Becca said.

Bert kissed the top of
her head. “If there was any way out of this…. Becca, I don’t…know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,
Josh. Keep your mouth shut. Oh my God, I’m going to throw up again. Give me
another minute, please.” She hurried back into the bathroom and shut the door. “We
don’t have much time,” she said when she came out of the bathroom a second
time. “Open the drawer there, I’ve written down my address and phone number for
you.”

Bert put the paper in his
pocket.

“I expect a lot of
letters and phone calls,” Becca said, her eyes tearing.

“You can count on it.”

“Oh my God, Josh…I’m
lost.
I feel like…I don’t know…like my world’s about to stop spinning and I’m
going lose my mind.”

“Becca…” he didn’t know
what to say. Words escaped him. Quietly, he cursed God and the government. Both
had turned his life upside down at the time when his life was beginning to come
into focus. Becca needed him at her side, yet he was abandoning her.

The announcement ending
visiting hours came.

“This is it, Josh. Time
for us to say good-bye. Let’s do it real quick or I swear I’ll wrap my arms
around your legs and you’ll have to drag me along with you.” She held out her
hand. “Good bye—no, I mean see you later, gater.”