becoming us (11 page)

“Oh.” The word was soft and shocked. “I. Really?” Bryce looked at Zac obliquely, blushing all over again. “You and me?”

“If. Um.” Zac bit his lip and nodded. If he spoke out loud, he was pretty sure his voice would crack, given how hard he was blushing.

“Yeah. I think...” Bryce ran his fingers over the back of Zac’s hand, blushing just as fiercely.

“Maybe if we had some kind of arrangement, it would be good. I mean... I don’t want to wreck being friends, either, Zac. I don’t want to have some stupid breakup and not have my best friend anymore.” His eyes were dark and sad and frightened when he admitted, “But I want you. A lot.

A lot of the time. It kind of sucks, except that it doesn’t.”

“Yeah.” Zac nodded. He didn’t want to lose his best friend either. When things were good with them, they were amazing, whether it was video games or sex. “I think. I think we could figure something out.”

“You’re more important than some girlfriend.” Bryce twined his fingers with Zac’s. “Or some boyfriend.” He had to swallow hard after saying that. “But I wanna be with you, Zac.” His voice wavered. “It’s like the whole world gets more
right
when we’re together.”
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“Me, too,” Zac admitted, squeezing Bryce’s fingers gently. So gently. He didn’t want to hurt Bryce’s hands any more than they were already hurt. “We don’t hafta tell people, or anything. I know you can’t really... But as long as we know, then, maybe it’d be good?”

“Yeah. And then, I mean... if we change things, no one knows but us, right? Even... even after last night and everything, the only person I wanted to be with when I was all fucked up was you.

You sure you want me all fucked up?” Bryce bit his lip, looking worried.

Zac smiled. That, he had an answer for. “I’m sure I want you. All fucked up or not.” Bryce leaned over and kissed him, very tentatively, just like the first time. “Guess that means you got me, then,” he murmured as he hid his face in the curve of Zac’s neck. His cheeks were hot and his breath was soft on Zac’s skin.

Zac wrapped his arms around Bryce and petted his hair. The embrace was feeling familiar, now; they’d been like this so often lately. He hadn’t really expected Bryce to say yes, especially after last night. He hadn’t expected any of it, but at least they were still together.

“I trust you,” Bryce said, shifting to be closer. “
So
much. It’s so good. And... you know...

someday. I wanna tell people, Zac,” he mumbled shyly. “If it’s okay with you. If there’s something to tell by then.” He cuddled up against Zac with a slow sigh.

“I...” Zac smiled and snuggled Bryce against him, kissing the top of his head.
Oh, Bryce.
There was a reason they’d been best friends, and this was most of it. Bryce was just so good and honest and sweet. “I think I’d like that. When we can. Someday.” Bryce tugged Zac’s covers up over them. “You gotta be anywhere today?” He sounded surprised but okay. It was probably a major shock for him to find himself with a boyfriend. A shock for both of them, really.

“Nah, not today.” Zac had homework to do, eventually. Swim practice and a team meeting for a class project tomorrow, but nothing today. He curled up with Bryce and nuzzled against his cheek. “You?”

“Paper to write, but too tired.” Bryce nuzzled closer. “Slept like shit.” Zac’s fault. He kissed Bryce’s cheek. “Sleep, then. You can write it later.” Bryce nodded, then turned his head, yawning against Zac’s chest. “I can’t...” He wriggled to undo his jeans. “Is it okay...”

“Yeah.” Zac swallowed hard and tried to think about things like term papers and his grandmother and Coach Sullivan’s face when he saw Bryce’s hands. Not the fact that Bryce was stripping off his jeans.

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Bryce wriggled out of them and then curled up against Zac shamelessly, sighing with relief and draping an arm over Zac’s chest. “Can’t sleep with pants on,” he murmured; it was something he’d complained about since freshman year. Zac had been right; Bryce didn’t have anything under the jeans except for his sleek skin and gorgeous dick.

Zac’s boxers weren’t doing anything to hide that he was getting hard. He hoped Bryce would just ignore it. He didn’t want Bryce to feel like he was betraying all the trust Bryce was showing him now, being naked with him and touching him after last night. “Better now?” Bryce’s eyes were closed and, thankfully, he wasn’t touching anywhere near Zac’s boxers. He nodded and then pressed a sleepy kiss to Zac’s chest. Worn out all over again, he fell asleep fast, all snuggly and clingy like before. Zac liked it, even if he didn’t like the reason for it. Maybe Bryce would still do it after they were done upsetting each other and having awkward conversations.

This time, Zac managed to fall asleep pretty fast, too. Bryce was warm and heavy, a comforting weight that reminded Zac that everything was turning out okay, even after all the upset. Maybe they’d be okay.

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Chapter Four

Well. So much for a ‘house viewing’ of a major swim meet that had been recorded so the four housemates could watch it together. That had been the plan. Instead, Zac and Bryce were left looking at each other from opposite ends of the couch, abandoned by their housemates. Last year, this had been ‘family time,’ and everyone would have been crowded onto the listing leather sofa. Apparently, now it was study time for Kaede and Steve.

“Epic fail, dude.” Bryce slumped in his corner of the sofa and picked at his pizza. He’d been missing Perry, and the way Kaede and Steve kept bailing on them all the time was starting to fuck him off, honestly. He poked the ‘play’ button on the remote and the 400-meter freestyle semifinals started up again. “We might as well watch it,” he said glumly.

They’d been here long enough to order a pizza and watch it cool after it had arrived at the house, and Steve hadn’t done anything but yell down to save him a piece. Kaede wasn’t even back from Shelly’s. Studying with Shelly.
Right
.

“More room on the couch, now,” Zac pointed out, stretching his legs out across the cushions to prod Bryce’s side with his toes. “And more pizza for us.” Bryce got a piece of pizza from the box and leaned over to put it on Zac’s plate. Then, without any warning other than a quick glance at the stairs, he leaned a little further and kissed Zac on the mouth. It wasn’t a very chaste kiss. It was definitely a not-thinking-about-pizza kiss, and it surprised Bryce how much he wasn’t thinking about pizza underneath everything else.

Zac hesitated for just a split second, and then he was kissing Bryce back, tilting his head and licking at Bryce’s lips. Seemed like Zac wasn’t thinking about pizza anymore, either.

The kiss went on a little longer than Bryce intended, but then he pulled back, flushed. He bit his lip, looking at Zac, and thought about how much more he wanted to do. It sucked that they weren’t out, because right now, he wanted to go upstairs with Zac and kiss some more. And things. God, and here he was, thinking about being ‘out’ to his friends about his boyfriend.

Bryce’s brain hurt some days. He still didn’t know how he’d gotten himself in this mess and didn’t know why he was so damn set on staying in it, but he was.

“Are you...” Bryce made himself settle back in his corner, still wishing he could be eating Zac up instead of pizza. “This weekend. Could we...” He really wanted Zac. He could keep it out of his head most of the time, but now just one kiss had his dick swelling in his jeans.

“Yeah.” Zac didn’t even know what Bryce was going to suggest, and already he was agreeing.

“Um. Could we what?” He was looking at Bryce like maybe he was thinking the same things, that he wanted more kisses, too.

“Do something.” Bryce shifted a little and told his dick to shut up and wait until the weekend. “I don’t know.” He blushed and hated himself for it.
Damn it
. “Um, we could go shoot some pool or something.” They were kind of boyfriends now. Shouldn’t they be doing date-things? “Then,
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um.” Bryce’s cheeks felt hotter. “If Steve and Kaede aren’t here, we could, uh, try again, you know.” He bit his lip and looked at Zac from under his lashes. “Like last weekend, only with less of me freaking out. I hope.” Zac wasn’t going to bring it up, not after last weekend, so Bryce figured he was going to have to do it.

Zac looked kind of surprised, but it was the sort of surprised Zac usually looked after winning a race, or something like that. The happy kind of surprised. “I’d, um. I’d like that. A lot. Friday night, maybe? After practice? I think Steve said he’s gotta stay late for extra laps with McGill all week, and he’s probably heading to see Lorna after. Or Laura. That girl from the synchro team.

And I know Kaede’s got a date with Shelly, so he won’t be around.” Kaede and Shelly usually went back to her place, because she had an apartment all to herself on the other side of the student ghetto.

Oh, thank God
. Bryce could breathe again. “Yeah. Friday’s good.” Now he was trying not to grin like an idiot. No one was coming down the stairs; he’d have heard them, even over the TV. He leaned over to kiss Zac again, realizing now how much he’d missed doing it. Everything was really normal the rest of the time; he had his best friend back and he didn’t hate himself like he thought he would. It was really hard to hate himself when it meant hating Zac, too, at least when he had a chance to reason with himself.

Zac put his pizza down on the table and met Bryce halfway, kissing him with a tiny, happy sound.
Oh
. That was the best noise. Zac rested one hand on Bryce’s thigh, not sliding higher or anything suggestive. Just a touch.

Bryce cupped Zac’s cheek in his hand and kissed him deeper, but kept it tender and slow. When he pulled away, it was reluctantly. Friday was really good. He couldn’t help smiling as he settled back into the arm of the couch and slid his legs up beside Zac’s. He petted the top of Zac’s foot.

They could touch that much. They had each other. It wasn’t so bad at all.

***

Friday night came quickly -- though not quite quickly enough for Zac’s liking. He brought a change of clothes with him to practice, so he could get ready. For his date. With Bryce. He cleaned up in the locker room showers while Bryce was still talking to the coach about something, and then got dressed. He’d brought his favorite jeans, the ones that made his ass look really good, and a snug, mossy green T-shirt. By the time Bryce came into the locker room, Zac was already tying up his shoes. He looked up, flushing a little, embarrassed to be so eager for their date.

Bryce looked pleased at the way Zac was dressed, though, like he knew it was for him. He shucked his swimsuit and grabbed a towel, letting Zac get a good, long look at him naked. It wasn’t any different from how things were rest of the time. There were naked guys all around them. Bryce grabbed his bag of toiletries and padded off to the showers, letting Zac get another good look at his curvy ass.

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Zac hopped up on the counter to sit and wait for Bryce. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious that he’d positioned himself so he could watch Bryce showering. Everybody knew he was queer now, and he didn’t want anybody thinking it changed anything about how he looked at his teammates.

But, God, Bryce was gorgeous. Broad and tall. Bryce had the best ass, too. Zac wanted to walk over there and lick the trails of water sliding over Bryce’s skin. That kind of thinking wasn’t going to help him stand up without making a fool of himself, though.

“You got a date?”

Zac dragged his gaze from Bryce’s ass to see Kaede grinning at him. “Uh.” What the fuck was he supposed to say to that?

Kaede laughed. “Dude. I know those jeans, man. Those are totally your ‘I’m getting laid’ jeans.”

“Naw, man.” Zac shook his head and hoped Kaede would believe him when he said, “Me and Bryce’re just going out to shoot some pool. My other jeans’re all dirty.” There was a mound of laundry roughly the size of Everest in the basement, so it was a believable claim.

Kaede nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, man. I get you.” He glanced over his shoulder, looking in the direction of the lockers, where Bryce was getting dressed. “You guys have fun. I gotta go meet Shelly. Later!” He gave a little wave and headed out.

Zac turned his attention back to Bryce. Bryce was wearing this faded red T-shirt that was just clingy enough for Zac to see how ripped he was getting, a pair of comfortable jeans that were almost too loose, but hung on his hips just right, and his boots that made him even taller. Just jeans. Nothing underneath.

Dressed, the fact that Bryce was big compared to other guys on the team really showed. And so hot, right under Zac’s nose all this time. He’d been working out hard and making great swim times all year. Maybe Zac was good for him. Zac could hope.

Bryce shrugged into his leather varsity jacket, shouldered his bag, and wandered over to Zac. His hair was still wet, loopy curls, but it would dry and be all adorable and unruly. “Ready to go?” he asked, like nothing was up at all.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Zac slipped down off the counter and grabbed his own jacket and bag. A date.

With Bryce. On the list of things he wouldn’t have expected to be doing this year, that was way up at the top. It was a very good surprise, though. “Where’re you parked? Over in the orange lot by the field house?”

“Yeah. Less likely to have some asshat trying to make off with my damn BMW symbol like when I park on the street.” Bryce rolled his eyes. “Fucking freshmen, man. Dad could have given me a less popular car and I’d have been fine with it. I wanted a truck.” He held the locker door for Zac to go ahead of him.

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Zac slipped past and juggled his bag to pull on his varsity jacket. “The big back seat’s gotta be nice, though,” he pointed out. Not like he was wondering if they’d get to use that later, or anything. Not at all.

“It mostly just holds my stuff.” Bryce took Zac’s bag without missing a beat. “The chicks I date lately are way too classy to do it the back seat.” He gave Zac a very, very sad and hopeful look.

“Maybe you’ll get lucky tonight.” Zac grinned and, once he had his jacket on, reached out to take his bag back so he could sling it over his shoulder.