becoming us (8 page)

Zac skimmed his hands over Bryce’s chest and found a nipple to toy with, to see if Bryce liked that, but it was hard to tell, because Bryce had gotten both hands on Zac’s ass just then and he was completely into it. He sucked Zac’s tongue and pushed his hips up to slide his dick against Zac’s body. The little noises he was making were unselfconscious and incredibly hot.

Zac moaned and arched back into Bryce’s hands. “Yeah,” he whispered. “God, that feels good.” He kissed away so he could kiss Bryce’s neck and down to Bryce’s collarbone. He wanted to taste Bryce’s skin, to feel it on his tongue.

“Fuck.
Zac
.” Bryce sounded lost and desperate as he let his head fall back to bare his neck for Zac. “I want you.” He kept touching, running his strong hands over Zac’s ass and thighs, like he needed this as badly as Zac did.

“What do you want?” Zac asked, licking and kissing his way back up the other side of Bryce’s neck. He slid one hand between them, down, to skim over Bryce’s dick. Fuck, that felt good.

Bryce’s dick was thick and long and hot against his palm, and he curled his fingers lightly around it. He wanted to get his mouth on that so badly.

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“Oh,
Christ
.” Bryce clenched Zac’s ass at the touch.

“Whatever you want, Bryce,” Zac promised.

“God. Zac. You. I don’t know.” Bryce’s eyes were wide. “I want you to feel good. I don’t know...”

Zac kissed Bryce on the mouth. Bryce was so irresistibly hot when he was turned on like that.

“Anything you want, Bryce...” He stroked Bryce’s cock slowly, lightly, moaning softly at the feel of it sliding through his hand. “Whatever you want. I just want you.”

“Oh, God. Zac.” Bryce looked stunned. He was breathless and pushing up into Zac’s hand, and his voice was so unsteady when he finally spoke again. “I just want to see your face, whatever we do. I want to see you.”

Zac kissed Bryce again, twisting his wrist to roll his hand over the head of Bryce’s cock. “I’m right here. You can have anything. I’m serious.” There was so much trust and affection between them, even before this, that Zac couldn’t imagine not wanting to give Bryce everything he could.

“Just touch me.” Bryce’s dick left slickness on Zac’s palm. His hands moved again, dipping between Zac’s thighs and stroking up the sensitive inner skin, exploring where he hadn’t touched yet.

Zac kissed Bryce again, muffling his moans, and stroked Bryce’s cock in earnest. He shifted around over Bryce, so that their dicks were lined up, and stroked them together, smearing their pre-come down the shafts to ease the way.

Bryce groaned and moved with Zac, kissing him and touching him, his fingers fluttering against the heaviness of Zac’s balls. Then he pulled back a little and slid a hand between them, his fingertips sliding tentatively over the head of Zac’s dick.

“I want to touch you,” he said, almost inaudibly. “Can I touch you?” He was getting braver about asking; his voice wasn’t as shaky as it had been when he’d asked to kiss Zac.

“Yeah,” Zac breathed, shivering a little. “Yeah, please.” He moved his hand out of the way and knelt up so Bryce could reach between them, so they could both see what Bryce was doing. He wanted Bryce to touch him, but he hadn’t wanted to ask.

Bryce’s expression was intense and his touches were gentle as he explored Zac’s cock from tip to root. When he ran his fingers up the underside, pre-come beaded at the tip and dripped onto one of his fingers. Looking up at Zac, almost for permission, he brought his finger to his mouth to taste the bead of fluid caught on it.

Biting his lip, Zac watched Bryce avidly. God, Bryce was hot. Zac had always wanted to look before -- hell, he
had
looked before and then told himself he hadn’t, really -- but now he could
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let himself admire how gorgeous Bryce was, how sexy. “Hot, Bryce,” he murmured. “You are really hot.”

“You taste good.” Bryce sounded surprised. He reached up to stroke Zac’s cheek and then kissed him with a moan. His other hand found Zac’s dick as they kissed and stroked tentatively.

Zac cupped the back of Bryce’s neck with one hand, bracing himself on that arm, and curled his other hand around Bryce’s cock. He kissed Bryce, slow and hot, and slid his hand down to cup Bryce’s balls, toying with them gently.

Bryce stopped again and nudged Zac’s hip. “Can I...” His eyes were wide and his breath caught.

“Will you roll over? I just. I want to look at you.”

Zac smiled slowly and kissed Bryce again before he rolled off Bryce and onto his back. He was surprised, but pleased, and he stretched out so that his legs were spread and his hands were tucked behind his head. He was so hard, his dick was leaking pre-come onto his belly, and he took a slow breath to calm down a little.

“You’re beautiful,” Bryce said, once Zac was all spread out for him. “I never... you just really are.” He ran a hand over Zac’s belly. “Just look at you.” He bent and placed a soft, open kiss on one of Zac’s nipples, exploring it with his tongue.

“You, too, Bryce,” Zac murmured, almost purring with how good Bryce’s mouth felt on his skin.

“The way you look, like this... you’re just amazing. Makes me want to touch you all over. I want, God, the things I want to do to you.”

“I didn’t know,” Bryce said softly. He moved to kiss up Zac’s side, kissing the waxed-bare hollow of Zac’s armpit and breathing deeply, then moving up to lavish kisses and bites up under Zac’s jaw. “I want you, too.”

Zac couldn’t help but shiver; his neck was so damn sensitive, every little kiss and bite felt like it had a line straight to his dick. He tilted his head to bare his neck and mumbled, “I want, fuck, Bryce, I want you. Your mouth feels so good. I want to do that, too. I like the way you sound when I kiss you. I want to know what you sound like when it’s not just your mouth or your neck I’m kissing.”

Bryce worshipped Zac’s neck with little bites and growls, rolling up to kneel so his hands could be all over Zac’s chest and thighs and hips. The way he lost his inhibitions was amazing. He might need soothing later, but right now, he was pure sex, kissing and biting down Zac’s chest.

He tongued Zac’s navel and moved lower, then stopped. He looked up at Zac and, without taking his eyes off of him, licked the head of Zac’s dick, just a brush of the tip of his tongue.

Zac bit his lip to muffle his moan, but he knew there was no way Bryce didn’t hear it or feel the way he shivered all over. “Bryce...” Zac took a breath to try to keep his voice steady. “That feels good,” was all he could think to say.

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Bryce watched him intently, then curled his fingers around the shaft and stroked. He ducked his head and licked the pre-come off the tip with a hot wash of his tongue, then moaned softly. There was a bit of fear in his eyes as he looked at Zac, but the rest of his expression was all desire, like he couldn’t figure out which way to jump.

“It feels good, Bryce,” Zac said again. All Bryce had to do was get past the bullshit he’d been taught. Fuck, it felt so good. “If you wanna turn around, I’ll do it to you, too.” He really wanted to get his mouth on Bryce’s dick, now or after. “I bet you taste really good.” Bryce shook his head. “I wanna pay attention,” he said. He looked down and drew his fingers up the shaft of Zac’s dick. “I just...” He ducked his head to nuzzle Zac’s belly, seeking reassurance as his nerve wavered, closing his eyes.

Zac dragged his hand out from under his head and reached out to stroke Bryce’s hair. “It’s okay.

You don’t have to do anything, Bryce. Nothing you don’t wanna do. You can touch me wherever you want, though. You’re not gonna do anything wrong.” Keeping going was good.

Bryce curled up around him with his head on Zac’s belly, clinging. “Why’re you so good to me?” He wasn’t looking at Zac; he was looking away, down at Zac’s dick, and he touched it again, spreading pre-come over the head with one finger.

“Um. ‘Cause you’re my friend, and I like you.” It was hard to talk normally when Bryce touched him like that, but Zac hoped Bryce understood that he meant what he was saying. “I trust you.

You’re not, like, trying to hurt me or anything. You’re not doing anything wrong. And, you know, I
like
you. Like, a lot. So.” It felt weird, saying that, admitting it. They were friends, and liking each other was just a normal part of that, but not the way Zac liked Bryce, not now. Maybe not before. Maybe he’d tried to ignore it because he hadn’t been ready to be out and he had been so sure Bryce wouldn’t want him the same way.

“I’d never hurt you.” Bryce kissed Zac’s belly. “Not if I could help it. Ever.” His hand slid down the shaft of Zac’s dick and cupped Zac’s balls instead. Leaning forward, he explored the head of Zac’s dick with his tongue, working his way up to taking it in his mouth and sucking gently.

“I kn-- Oh, God.” Zac didn’t know what he was expecting, but Bryce’s hand on his balls and Bryce’s mouth on his dick wasn’t it, even with all signs pointing that way. “Bryce. Fuck. Don’t stop.” He caught his breath and finished his earlier thought. “I know. I know you wouldn’t.” Bryce didn’t let him down, either. It might have been his first time, but he probably got sucked off a lot because he wasn’t lost as to what to do once he got going. He couldn’t take Zac in all the way, so he stroked up the shaft with his hand. It was experimenting, but it was pretty determined, passionate experimenting. Zac should have expected it; Bryce never did anything halfway for someone he liked.

It was crazy good. Zac tried to keep petting Bryce’s hair, to keep touching him. He didn’t want Bryce to feel like Zac was using him. “So good, Bryce,” he murmured, just barely managing to hold still through the most intense of the sensations. He wanted so much to let go and enjoy it,
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but he had to keep it together. At least this way, he got to watch how much it was turning Bryce on.
Oh, Bryce
. Bryce was loving every second of it.

Bryce moved, but it was only to prop himself up on one elbow so he could lean over and take Zac in deeper. Little shivers ran through him, and he made desperate little noises as he obviously found pleasure in what he was doing. His hand on the shaft of Zac’s dick and on his balls was gentle but firm, coaxing Zac to let go, whether he knew it or not.

Eventually, it got to be too much. Zac was going to come; he was already shuddering with the effort of not arching up into Bryce’s mouth. “I’m gonna--” Zac’s hand clenched in Bryce’s hair and he dragged Bryce’s head away, bringing his other hand down to close around Bryce’s hand on his dick, urging Bryce to stroke him faster, tighter. “Fuck,
please
.” Bryce startled, wide-eyed and uncertain, but obeyed, giving Zac the friction he needed to get off.

Now, Zac’s hips moved, jerking, as he fucked Bryce’s hand. God, he needed it. His back arched and he cried out, coming hard all over Bryce’s hand and his own belly. He was still shuddering when he forced himself to sit up, to
move
, because he wanted --
needed
-- to kiss Bryce. He used his hand in Bryce’s hair to tug gently, urging Bryce up enough that Zac could kiss him on the mouth.

“Fuck,” he murmured against Bryce’s lips. “You are so fucking hot. Jesus, Bryce. So good.” Then he was moaning again, angling his mouth against Bryce’s and kissing him hungrily.

Bryce was slow to kiss back, suddenly awkward and unsteady. He let Zac kiss him before pulling away to fumble for some tissues by the bed. “Here. You should. You’re all...” He pushed some tissues at Zac and wiped his hand off, looking pale and tight like he was about to cry.

Oh, no
. “Bryce...” Zac reached out for him, brushing his fingertips over Bryce’s cheek before cupping it gently. “Bryce, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Should I have stopped? I’m sorry, Bryce.”

“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t...” Bryce shook his head and pulled away. “I just. I need some water.” He got up and lurched for the bedroom door. Catching himself on the frame, he pawed the lock open so he could go naked down the hall to the bathroom.

“Shit.” Zac scrambled up, hastily mopping off his belly with the tissues, and grabbed his boxers from the floor.
What did I do?
He tugged them on as he stumbled after Bryce. The bathroom door wasn’t locked, so Zac just went right in after him without bothering to knock. “Bryce.” The intrusion interrupted Bryce rinsing his mouth with mouthwash. The cup of water he’d poured himself bounced into the sink and rattled around in the bottom of it. He grabbed a towel to cover himself, knocking another off the shelf onto the floor, and backed up until he hit the wall by the shower.

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Zac closed the bathroom door behind him, and this time, he locked it. “Bryce. Is it... I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped. I just. You felt so good, you were, and I didn’t. And then I couldn’t stop, but I didn’t want to, like, come in your mouth and choke you or something. I’m sorry.” Fuck, please let him not have fucked this up too badly. Suddenly, Zac was way, way too sober, and he could see in bold detail every reason why what he’d just done -- starting with knocking on Bryce’s door -- had been a really bad idea.

There wasn’t much room in here; at least Bryce couldn’t get away from him. Bryce held the towel with his arms crossed over his chest, hugging himself, and he wouldn’t look at Zac. “I shouldn’t have... I just can’t...” He covered his face with his hands and slid down to sit on the floor, making a noise that sounded like he was trying not to cry.

Fuck
.
Oh, Bryce. You are so messed up. My Bryce
. Zac slid down onto the floor beside Bryce and slipped an arm around his shoulders, trying to draw Bryce over against him. “I’m so sorry, Bryce. I didn’t mean to fuck this up for you.”

Bryce put his head on his knees and wrapped his arms around his shins, pulling himself up tight and small. “Just... just go, Zac. I can’t do this. I just...” His voice broke and his shoulders shook.

“I think I can and it’s so good and then something happens and I
see
myself... I
see
what I am...

and I just. God. I’m so disgusting and stupid and I don’t know how to do anything right. I’m such a fucking loser.” He wrapped an arm around his head to hide further, hand clenching in his own hair. His shoulders shook and Zac could hear his breath catching in his throat.