Before I Let Go (29 page)

Dee just waved. He was drunk.

As I popped open another ice cold Corona, Tory came running out of the house. “Hey, everybody…Nate is on TV.”

We all just looked at her. “He’s on a video, with Shawn Simmons. You better hurry up,” she yelled, and then disappeared back into the house.

Brendan was the first one up. I followed, with everyone else who was at the table. I looked back to see Nate moving coolly in the back of the crowd. I was expecting to see someone who looked like Nate, but when I entered the basement and took a look at the screen, there was Nate’s black ass walking hand in hand with Shawn Simmons. I turned and looked at him. He looked like he was holding in a smile.

“Y’all move over,” I heard my mother say, as everyone moved out of her way. “Well, look at that,” she said. “Nate, I didn’t know that you were an actor.” He was sitting at a table in a silk robe with a glass of champagne watching Shawn sing. Nate was now smiling. He was feeling proud of himself. He really looked like he belonged on that screen. The people at Excite World Video had done a superb job with the special effects. There was a haze, and the glow from the candles seemed to reflect off his body.

My mother’s basement was filled with oohs and ahhs as we watched the dance steps. Nate hadn’t watched them film that scene. He had gone shopping. He still had the clothes that he had bought for India and Sahleen in his closet. At that instant, he decided what he was going to do with all of the stuff he had bought. There was at least two thousand dollars worth of fine clothing in the bags, all of it sizes four and smalls. Otherwise he would have sent it to his mother.

Nate was taking notice of the sequence of the video. The scenes had been shot in almost the complete opposite order, which meant that…

“Oh my God,” I heard Laney yell out. “Look at you, Nate.” Nate was in bed with Shawn Simmons, kissing her on the mouth. He looked like he was completely naked and so did she. I couldn’t believe it. I watched as their bodies writhed underneath the satin sheets.

“Kyle, cover your eyes. Tory, you too,” my sister Brenda said. “I can’t believe these damn videos today,” she said, as she shook her head and looked at Nate. Even though she was three years older than Nate, she acted as though she had always wanted to screw him…if she hadn’t already.

The video went off and everybody, including me, began asking him a thousand and one questions, as though he were at a press conference or something. It was incredible. He hadn’t said anything about being in a video, let alone with Shawn Simmons. The chick Monica who he was with looked as though she was ready to rip his clothes off right there and take him in front of everyone. His new star status had done a number on her head, and the two girls who were with Dee as well. It was no surprise when Dee quickly rolled out, taking his two hotties with him.

As the sun set on the cookout, every one began to leave one by one, and soon there was only Nina and myself in the house. Brenda had convinced Mr. Fields and Momma to ride downtown to see the fireworks with her and the kids.

Brendan had left with Laney to take advantage of a rare opportunity to have the townhouse to himself. Renee had gone out of town, to Virginia Beach, for the Fourth, with one of her Delta sorors. On the way home he and Laney joked about the “fireworks agreement” that they had made on New Year’s Eve. Then they talked about how they almost hadn’t made it this year, but how glad they were that they had. I didn’t even see them leave, but I knew that Nate and Monica undoubtedly had headed back to his place to make their own fireworks.

Nina and I ended up staying the night at my mother’s in my old room. We stayed up until about eleven talking about our wedding, our baby, and our future. Nina cried at least twice, saying that she had had no idea that I would be so good about it. She said that she had thought that my career was my only focus, and that I wouldn’t want a baby or even a wife to interfere. She had been wrong, because we were definitely getting married and having a baby.

Everything was looking good. The future was set. The only thing I had to do was find the right time to tell her that Mr. Hakito was going to need me in New York for about six months or so, starting in the fall. I knew that Nina wouldn’t want to go, but it was only temporary. I had to go and take over the New York/New Jersey production and keep it on track while the Hakitos went back to Tokyo for a short time. I was told that I was the only one they trusted to handle things while they were gone. I had no choice. Six months wouldn’t be that rough.

We drifted off and fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up at 4:00

A
.
M
. and got up to relieve myself, I saw that my mother’s door was still open. When I stuck my head in I saw that her bed was empty I almost freaked out. I woke Nina and called my sister.

“Cory, Mom is fine.”

“How do you know?” I asked. “What if they got into an accident on the way back here?”

“Back here…where are you?” Brenda asked in a sleepy voice.

“I’m still at Mom’s house.”

“Well, Mr. Fields drove downtown in his Lincoln. I left my car there, so he had to bring us back there to get my car. We didn’t see your car there when we got back. We thought you were gone.”

“We came in Nina’s car.”

“Oh,” she cleared her throat. “Look outside. Is his car in his driveway?”

I walked to the bay window in the kitchen and looked in his driveway, and sure enough his car was parked. “Yeah, it’s there.”

“Well then, Cory.”

“Well then, what?” I still didn’t get it.

“Cory, Mom never told you about her and Mr. Fields?”

“What?”

“Never mind,” she said. “Cory.”

“Yeah.”

“Go back to bed. Moms is fine. Believe me.” She laughed.

It all came to me, and it made my head swim. I couldn’t believe it. But I said okay and went back up the steps.

“Is everything okay?” Nina asked.

“Yeah,” I said, sounding dejected, or maybe embarrassed was a better word.

“Where’s your mom?”

“Across the street, at Mr. Fields’s crib.”

Nina laughed. Then she said something in Spanish.

“What did you…never mind.”

“I said that your mother has to get busy too every now and then. She’s only fifty-something, not a hundred.”

“Leave me alone,” I grumbled.

“Don’t playa hate con-grat-u-late, Pappi,” she laughed out and rolled back over. “Goodnight again.”

I just lay there and tried not to imagine my moms getting her freak on as I drifted back to sleep. I had enjoyed an eventful Fourth of July, and now all of my tomorrows were coming quickly, all at once, it seemed.

B
rendan never even heard the front door. Maybe Laney’s passionate screams had been too loud, or maybe he was just too comfortable. His bedroom door was standing wide open, and it took no more than a few seconds for Renee to witness more than she could stand. When she flipped the hall light on, partially exposing Brendan’s nakedness as he moved on top of Laney, Brendan’s face turned toward where Renee stood in the door, and his eyes grew to the size of golf balls.

Laney looked around Brendan to see Renee standing in the doorway wearing a scowl that would have massacred them both if looks could kill. Laney didn’t know what was going on, and was even more confused when she saw Renee burst into tears and run off into her room. Brendan climbed off her and sat on the bed with his head in his lap.

“What’s going on, Brendan?” Laney sat up and pulled on Brendan’s shoulder. “What the hell is wrong with Renee?”

Brendan huffed deeply and reached for his shorts. “It’s a long story. Put your clothes on. I’ll explain on the way to your place.”

“What…Why do we…?” Brendan stopped her.

He turned and looked at Laney with the sternest of looks. “I said put your shit on and come on.”

Laney was taken back by Brendan’s harsh tone. She had only seen him become like that a few times. Brendan was becoming colder through all the abuse he’d suffered in the name of love, and he was quicker to snap than he had ever been before. Trina had brought out that side of him. Brendan, though, was unaware of how he was changing, from the pushover that he had been a few years back into a brother who wasn’t putting up with foolishness. Every experience he had weathered in the last couple of years had seemed to intensify the effect.

Laney was now moving in fast motion. She slipped her sandals on, grabbed her purse, and headed down the steps. Brendan looked up at Renee’s closed door as he walked behind Laney. As they left the front door and headed toward the car, Brendan wondered why Renee had come home. She was supposed to be in Virginia Beach until late the next afternoon.

It was a little past midnight, and he had just been caught literally with his pants down. Not that he had a commitment to Renee other than friendship, but Brendan knew that his sexing Laney under Renee’s roof had added insult to injury.

Brendan quickly reviewed the first night that they had slipped up and made love. Then, after deciding to end their trial relationship and go back to being friends, there had been a relapse. Watching a DVD one night together in Renee’s room had ended up with them bumping and grinding on her floor. The sex had been passionate. Before, during, and after her orgasm, Renee had told him that she was in love with him and always had been.

Though neither of them had mentioned it since, Renee had made her true feelings known to Brendan. Lying to himself had now gotten him in a precarious position. The girl who once had been a form of inspiration now seemed more like a gloomy cloud of guilt looming over his head. He had hurt her already, and now he’d added disrespect on top of it. Even as unintentional as it had been, it was done.

As Brendan drove around the Beltway toward Laney’s apartment, he explained everything to her. Coming clean to Laney wasn’t hard for him, and he felt stupid for not having done it before. He could have avoided the whole scene that had just transpired. When Laney asked him why he had held back and not told her, Brendan replied honestly, “I guess I was trying to make up my mind.”

“About what?”

“I guess about whether I was going to give you and I another try or if I was going to see how things worked out with Renee,” Brendan said softly. Laney shifted her body toward Brendan, and he noticed that she didn’t have her seat belt on. “Put your seat belt on.”

Laney complied, and the two rode in silence the rest of the way. When they reached Laney’s complex, Brendan parked and the two of them began to talk. Laney turned to him and said, “I’m glad you chose me.” Then she kissed him on the cheek. Then she said, “Look I know how much you care about her. So I won’t ask you to stay…” She opened her door. “I mean, you can if you want to, but you probably should go home and deal with her…you know, apologize for hurting her and everything.”

“Yeah, I know,” Brendan said, looking straight ahead.

“Do you want me to call and talk to her? You know, like, to apologize.”

“Hell, no. For what?” Brendan shot back. “No.”

Laney waved her hands in front of her chest. “Okay, okay. Calm down.” She leaned back into the car and kissed Brendan again. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Brendan Shue.”

“I know. I love you, too.” He said, while his eyes asked if she was worth all of this.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a minute? You know we didn’t get to finish.” Laney offered a naughty smile, and Brendan folded.

It was almost
noon when Brendan returned to the house. Renee was sure to be at church. Brendan parked his car in the lot and noticed people washing their cars and little kids playing as he walked to the front of the townhouse. As he approached the front door, he noticed that it was open. He made it to the foyer before he saw Gladys and Andrea sitting in the kitchen sipping iced tea while they were blasting his Luther CD. There were two boxes stacked in the dining room, and there were garment bags on top of them. Next to those were two large suitcases and his duffel bag.

“Good morning, ladies,” Brendan said, as he walked up the five steps into the living room and headed toward the kitchen.

Gladys rolled her eyes and walked upstairs. Andrea stood up. “Hello, Brendan.”

Brendan looked up the steps. “There’s no reason for you to go up there, Brendan,” Andrea said. As they both turned to the door in response to the tapping at the front door. Andrea waved her hand to signal for the two men to come in.

Andrea walked over to the two men and took a receipt and a key and handed them a hundred-dollar bill. “Thanks, Ms. Carter.”

“No. Thank you,” Andrea said, and turned back toward Brendan. The two young men turned and walked back out of the door as fast as they had come in. “Here, Brendan. These are for you.”

“What’s going on?” Brendan asked.

Andrea took a seat on the steps. “Listen here, Brendan.” Andrea fumbled through her purse. “Renee no longer wants you here. Here is the rent that you paid for the month of July. It’s only the fifth, so she’s not charging you for the days that you’ve been here. This is your receipt for the storage.”

“What storage, Andrea?”

“All of your things have been moved professionally into storage. It’s located right up the street on Central Avenue, just past the McDonald’s, on the opposite side of the street. Renee has paid for two months’ storage in advance. Anything after that, you have to pay for. These are the keys.” Andrea could see that Brendan didn’t have a clue what to say, so she kept talking. “These are the only things that she figured you would need right away.” She pointed toward the boxes. “Those are personal items, shoes, and underclothes, etc., etc. I think you can fit the rest of that stuff in your car. If you need me, though, I can follow you wherever you need to go.”

“I don’t believe this shit,” Brendan said, as he started up the stairs.

“He’s coming upstairs, y’all.” Andrea yelled out.

Renee’s door slammed shut, and Brendan heard the lock. He walked past his room. It was naked except for the picture on the wall that had been there already when he moved in. The floor was freshly vacuumed and incense was burning on the windowsill.

Brendan knocked on Renee’s door. “Open the damn door, Renee. Why are you acting so petty?” No answer. “Renee. We really should talk about things. I’ll leave. But we still should talk.”

Brendan knocked again and again before he finally turned and walked past Andrea.

“Do you get it, Brendan?” Gladys said, as she popped out of the door and closed it again behind her. Brendan turned around and started back toward the room. “She doesn’t have shit to say. You ain’t shit. You’re just like Nate and Cory.”

“How could you be so damn trifling, Brendan?” Andrea joined in. “In her own house, on top of it all. That’s so wrong. I thought you were different, and I told her that by letting you move in it would mess up a good friendship, but I never would have guessed it would be something like this.”

“She’s in there still crying,” Gladys added. “She said to tell you that when and if she decides to talk to you again, that she’ll call you. So if you were ever her friend…if you ever cared about her…don’t call her or come around, because you are no longer welcome.”

Brendan’s face held back the sting that it felt from those words. He knew that they had come straight from Renee’s mouth. He knew her. He knew that those would be her words had she spoken to him. So with that, he turned around and went downstairs, packed his car, and drove back to Laney’s.