Before I Wake (17 page)

He lifted his hand, pointed at me. “Is this thing using me to get to you?”

“I don’t know,” I retorted, snappier than I should. “I don’t know what It wants from me, other than to piss off my father. If either of us should feel like we’re being used, it’s me. At least you’re a source of energy for It.”

He blinked. “Excuse me?”

Well shit. I stepped into that one. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. I had a killer headache starting. “The Dreamkin, especially Terrors, draw their power from dreamers. A lucid dreamer like you is a big power bar to them.”

“Great, so I attract these things.”

“And you have the power to protect yourself as well.” For the most part, but I didn’t mention that.

He was silent, mulling everything over in his head. No doubt he was trying to figure out whether he should still be mad at me.

“Look,” I said finally when it became obvious he wasn’t going to speak. “I don’t like this any more than you do. We’ll stop this thing, I promise.”

He moved toward me, stopping when there was barely breathing room between us. “We?”

I swallowed. I couldn’t read his expression and didn’t know whether it would be better to cover my ass or be totally honest. I squared my shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “Unless you’d rather go it alone.”

A hint of a smile lifted his lips as he took a tissue from the box on my desk. “No, not alone.” Then he started wiping at my lips with the tissue. It stuck to my gloss, and I turned my head, trying to stop him.

“What the hell? Stop that!” But it was too late. I wiped at my mouth with the back of my hand and licked my lips, ridding them of fibers. I glared at Noah. “Why did you do that?”

“I hate the taste of that stuff,” was his reply. And then he kissed me, and suddenly I didn’t mind so much that he’d wiped all my gloss off. I didn’t mind that he’d been angry at me. I’d been angry at him, too. All that mattered was that Noah was kissing me.

Again.

He had me against the bookcase, all snug and flush against him. All I could smell was damp leather and the spicy scent of his soap on clean skin. Oh yeah.

Noah lifted his head too soon. I would have stood there forever I think. He gazed down at me with those incredibly black eyes, and there was no anger there anymore. There was heat and something that looked a little bit like wonder.

“You’re out of my league,” he murmured.

I swear to God the man had a voice that could melt ice. My left knee practically buckled at the sound of it.

“Really?”

Noah pulled away, but he was smiling. “How can I help you stop this thing?”

Good question, but luckily one that didn’t take much thought on my part. Pulling myself together, I straightened away from the wall. “You can help me in the Dream Realm. Maybe if we work together, we can track It.”

A black brow shot up. “Or It will find us.”

I shrugged. “Either way I can deliver Karatos to my father.”

The idea seemed to appeal to him. “All right. We can try that. Tonight?”

“Let me talk to Morpheus first, and we’ll take it from there.” I felt guilty for leaving him vulnerable for another night, but I had to make sure my father would come when I called him. I had to make sure that I could call him.

Noah nodded. “I’ll talk to you later then.” He kissed me again—quick and hard—jacking up my heart rate again. God, if Dr.

Canning caught us, I’d be in so much crap.

I walked him out of the office to the reception area. We shared what I thought was a smoldering glance before he left, and my world went back to normal.

“Might want to powder your chin before your first appointment,” Bonnie informed me, not looking up from her desk. “Whisker burn.”

My cheeks burned at the laughter in her voice. Shit. I whirled around and started back to my office, only to be cut off by Dr.

Canning, who raked me with a gaze that was anything but approving.

“I’m still waiting on that research, Dawn,” he said coolly. “Perhaps when you’re done having private visits at work you can get that to me, ASAP?”

Oh yeah. Today, despite a blistering kiss from Noah, was not shaping up to be a good day. At least Dr. Canning hadn’t seen who I had been kissing. Things would be way worse if he knew it was a patient. I would be in so much crap if that was the case. “Of course, Dr. Canning. Right away.”

I spent the rest of my morning—when not counseling my own patients or doing clinic-related work—doing Dr. Canning’s legwork so he could publish his papers, be quoted in the newspapers, and look like an expert on TV. These SUNDS deaths had people worried, and there was a growing fear that they were actually caused by some kind of contagion. Obviously, the authorities did not want people freaking out, so Dr. Canning was in high demand on the local news and talk shows. All he had to do was smile a charming smile and calmly explain that SUNDS was in no way contagious and that he was personally doing all he could to discover the cause of these unfortunate deaths.

At noon I scarfed down a tuna sandwich and vegetable soup at my desk. I had just disposed of my trash and was reapplying lip gloss when Bonnie buzzed.

“Is Ms. Leiberman here?” I asked.

“Dr. Riley”—I knew right then something wasn’t right. Bonnie never called me that—“there are a couple of police officers out here who would like to speak to you.”

I dare anyone to hear that phrase and not have their blood turn to ice. Of course the first thing I thought was, what have I done?

And then I thought of Lola, because we were each other’s emergency contacts.

“I’ll be right out.” Maybe I should have had the cops come to me, but I wanted Bonnie with me regardless of the reason for their visit.

I straightened my clothes, smoothed my hair, and walked toward the waiting area as quickly as my shaking legs would allow. Sure enough, two uniformed members of the NYPD were standing in front of Bonnie’s desk, watching me.

“Dawn Riley?” one of them asked when I reached them.

I nodded. “Is there something I can help you with, Officers?” Ohh, how professional and calm I sounded!

“Do you know a Nancy Leiberman?” The other one asked. They were both big guys with heavy New Yawk accents, but they weren’t trying to be intimidating, so I relaxed a little.

“Yes.” I nodded as I spoke. “In fact, she’s due here any moment.”

“Yeah, we heard Ms. Nadalini here leave a message on Ms. Leiberman’s machine. Is there someplace a little more private that we can go to discuss Ms. Leiberman’s therapy with you?”

They had been at Nancy’s house when Bonnie called? They wanted to discuss Nancy’s therapy? I couldn’t do that unless…A cold chill settled in my chest. “My office,” I croaked. “What’s happened?”

Their expressions were sympathetic. “Ms. Leiberman’s daughter found her mother dead this morning. We have reason to believe it might have been a suicide.”

A suicide. Behind me I heard Bonnie gasp. Dr. Canning and Dr. Revello had come out to see what was going on, and they, too, looked shocked—which gave me hope that they were human after all.

“Come to my office,” I told them hollowly. “I’ll tell you whatever I can.”

As the police followed me down the hall, I thought of Nancy and how happy she had been the last time I saw her. I thought of her nightmares and how they had simply vanished—and her call asking to see me. And then it all came together in one blindingly clear flash.

Nancy Leiberman hadn’t committed suicide. Nancy Leiberman had been murdered.

Karatos had sent me a present all right—big bow and all.

Nancy Leiberman had pills and alcohol in her system, but not enough to kill her. It seemed as though her heart had simply stopped—no explanation for it. Her death was considered from natural causes then. Dr. Canning thought it was SUNDS. And if he brought it up one more time, I was going to make him eat his clipboard.

This had to stop, and as I went into The Dreaming that night to continue my training, I made myself a promise that I would stop it myself if I had to. If I was going to have any kind of “normal” relationship with Noah, if I didn’t want cops coming to the clinic to tell me my patient was dead, Karatos had to be stopped. And by “stopped” I meant killed. Destroyed. Unmade. Whatever it was my father did to Dreamkin who had broken the rules.

That was, of course, if my father could find Karatos. According to him, neither my uncle Icelus nor the great King himself had been able to find the Terror.

“Jesus Christ,” I swore as I concentrated on turning a pencil into a stiletto. “How hard can it be to find a freaking Night Terror when you’re god of this world?”

My father didn’t like that. Of course, he had to admit I was right. “I will find him,” he assured me, creating something else for me to alter.

I knew he would try. I also knew now that it was up to Noah and me to find Karatos. At least if I found the Terror, or rather more realistically, he found me, then I could call out to Morpheus, use the psychic bond that existed between us in The Dreaming, and bring some Dreamkin smack-down onto Karatos.

“Why haven’t you found him already?” I pressed. “How can anything escape you?”

The bafflement on his face didn’t help. “I don’t know. It’s as though the Terror isn’t in this world.”

That would terrify me if I thought for a moment it might be true. “That’s impossible.”

My father shot me a look of pure indignation as I turned a swan into a pig. “You think I don’t know that? One of my own creatures escaping my detection.”

Yeah, that had to be humiliating. “It killed a patient of mine.” I knew I wasn’t helping, but I felt like he needed to know how desperate the situation was becoming. “It’s threatening me and Noah. It has to be stopped.”

“I know.” His voice was a deep, rumbling shadow that sent shivers down my spine. If—no, when—my father finally caught up with Karatos, he was going to destroy the Terror. I hoped I was still alive to watch.

“I’ll see if I can draw It out.” I couldn’t believe I was actually offering myself up as bait. It was almost heroic of me. But seeing as how I didn’t see any other solution, I wasn’t ready for the Wonder Woman suit just yet.

“You’re not strong enough yet,” Morpheus told me, easily turning my pig back into a swan to make his point. So much for a father’s faith in his daughter.

“Then I’m going to have to get strong.” Where the bravado came from I couldn’t say, but I knew it was truth. And I had the pig to prove it once more. If Morpheus couldn’t help me, I was on my own, and putting my shields back up wouldn’t help. Karatos had found a way around them before, and he knew he could get to me through Noah or any one of my patients.

The pig disappeared entirely as my father turned to me. “Are you saying that you are willing to embrace your destiny?”

I made a face. “You sound like something out of a bad sci-fi movie.”

To my surprise he chuckled. “Where do you think all those movies come from? From dreams.”

I rolled my eyes. “Great. My father is responsible for Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”

He grinned. “If I remember correctly, you liked that one.”

He was right. “Look, I’d really like to play Ebert and Roper with you, but I have to go. I have to see if I can find Noah.”

“Are you going to see your mother before you go?”

“No.” I had managed to avoid her this long, and I was going to keep going for as long as I could.

“Dawn.”

“Stay out of it.” I gave him a look that told him I wasn’t going to bend. “I can’t deal with her. Not yet.”

He nodded sharply. “Fine. You’ll be back tomorrow night? We’ll work on reshaping dream matter.”

It was about time. I had to remember how to reshape what was already there before I could summon the dream matter to my own will. If I practiced, someday I might be as adept as Morpheus himself. I couldn’t fathom it, personally. Me, a shaper of dreams. I was his heir. Verek hadn’t just been sarcastic. I was a princess here.

I really had no idea what I was capable of. I needed to sit down.

He was smiling as he approached me, looking all too human in jeans and a sweater. He placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed me on the forehead. In a moment of weakness I leaned into his embrace. He was so solid and strong, and I knew nothing could ever hurt me with him there to protect me. If I could just let go of the bitterness inside me, I could take my place there beside him and my mother. I could be what they expected.

But I would be running away from the world I knew, and I’d be turning my back on all the people I cared about. I couldn’t do that.

I pulled away. Morpheus didn’t try to stop me, but I could see the regret in his eyes. “See you tomorrow.”

He nodded. “Focus on where you want to go, on who you want to find. Your friend is very powerful, but he protects himself.

You’ll have to look hard for him.”

Okay. I closed my eyes and pictured Noah in my head. I imagined reaching out for him, parting the mist and moving toward his signal. I can’t explain how it’s done, but it’s like I’m a tracker following the scent, or a magnet following a pull. I moved through the mist of The Dreaming quickly, so nothing could grab me. I knew where Noah was; I just had to get there.

Someday maybe I could just think it and be where I wanted, but for now I actually had to travel through the Realm.

I could feel Noah’s presence growing stronger. I was almost there.

Something grabbed my arm, jerked me to a stop. I pulled against it, heart hammering.

“You shouldn’t exist,” a voice hissed near my ear. It was like blood running down the side of my head, the sound of that voice.

Blood coming from my ear.

I shoved hard. I don’t know how I did it, but one moment I was afraid and struggling, then next I was free, with nothing but the cries of the thing I had expelled echoing around me. I really had to get a grip on this fast.

Reaching out, I found Noah again and ran toward him. The mist parted for me and began to swirl, taking shape. I was on the threshold of Noah’s dream now. I stepped through the gauzy film, into Noah’s world.

I was in a kitchen. It was nice and neat with a tile floor and lots of light. Someone was crying. A woman. I turned my head, and there was Noah, dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt. He was barefoot, standing over a woman who was on the floor at his feet, her back pressed against a cupboard. She was crying, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands. A large bruise was forming high on her cheekbone, and her lip was cut.