Before I Wake (20 page)

“So all you had to do was think of me?”

He shrugged and took another drink of beer. “I guess so, yeah.”

“If Karatos comes back I want you to try it again. He can’t take both of us.”

He made a scoffing sound. “You don’t think?”

“I’m a Nightmare.” I said it with more confidence than I felt. “I’m supposed to be able to kick this thing’s ass.”

“Supposed?”

“I can do a lot of the same tricks he can mentally, but I’m not much of a fighter.”

His gaze brightened. It was hope I saw there—and a little bit of vengeance. “I can help with that.”

I was hoping he’d say that. “You’d teach me?”

“I have keys to Warren’s dojo. We can start tomorrow if you want.”

“I want.” We could start training in this world, then move it into the Dream Realm. We’d be just like Morpheus and Neo in The Matrix.

The glow in his eyes shifted, warmed as he looked at me. I knew what was coming, and I wanted it, too. As Noah’s lips met mine, I gave myself up to his sweet, warm taste. I melted into his arms and let my mind empty of any thoughts that weren’t of him.

I let myself believe that I was a normal woman and he was just a normal man.

And I did believe it. For a little while.

Antwoine was waiting for me on the same bench as last time.

“For someone banned from The Dreaming, you sure are easy to find,” I commented as I sat down beside him. The worn wood was cold through my jeans, and I wished that I had worn a hat. Antwoine was wearing one—it was red, yellow, and purple, and had a pom-pom on top.

I had searched him out last night—from my own bed—and sent him a message that I would be in the park today. That I needed to talk to him.

I stayed at Noah’s for an hour or so before getting a cab home. We made out for a bit on the couch, but after my big revelation, I don’t think he wanted to try to take things further. Since I wasn’t sure I was ready to have sex, I didn’t mind his restraint. There were no similarities between him and Karatos, and I wanted Noah like ice cream wants cake, but I wasn’t in a hurry to have him.

Antwoine’s chocolate brown eyes turned to meet mine. “He just sent me to the Outlands. Couldn’t ban me altogether, not without getting blood on his hands.”

“He” was Morpheus, and it was nice to know he wasn’t a complete asshole. “So, that’s how you can still dream?”

He nodded. “And how you call me up like one of them folks tryin’ to sell me something whenever you want.”

I wondered what Antwoine dreamed about. I didn’t ask. “I thought you might appreciate a ‘call’ more than me simply popping by your dream unannounced.”

The old man’s eyes narrowed a little as he looked at me. “Got yourself into some hot water, did ya?”

I looked down at my boots, dug their toes into the grass. “You could say that.”

Antwoine chuckled then—it was raspy and broken, and sounded more sympathetic than humorous. “What happened, child, your man dreamin’ of another woman when you walked in on him?”

“No!” I scowled at him. But what if Noah had been? God, that would have been so awful. I hated to say it, but that would have bothered me more than the violence he had been dreaming of. I glanced at my boots again. “He didn’t like that I could just walk in.”

“Ain’t nobody who would like that. Imagine if someone just showed up inside your private world.”

Like Karatos. Shit. I had gone into Noah’s dream like Karatos had done to both of us. No wonder he had been upset. I was such an idiot.

“Now don’t go getting’ all down in the lip on me,” Antwoine chided. “It isn’t your fault, you were just doin’ what comes natural to your kind.”

My kind. He didn’t make it sound like an insult, but I felt segregated—freakish—all the same. “I’ll never do it again.”

He laughed, and this time there was humor in it. “Sure you will. Maybe he’ll be okay with it, maybe he won’t. Loving a succubus was hard enough. I can’t imagine trying to have a relationship with a Marae.”

“Marae” was the old name for what I am. The name later became confused with “Mara,” which are somewhat nasty daimons, and that’s what led to Nightmares being thought of as bad things rather than the guardians they are.

“You know a lot about Dreamkin,” I remarked.

He nodded slowly. “I spent a lot of time in that world before your daddy tossed me out.”

My daddy. He hadn’t liked Antwoine and his succubus being together. He didn’t seem to like me and Noah either, even though we were hardly “together.” Would Morpheus take drastic action if Noah and I did take our relationship further? We hadn’t even had a real date yet, and we might be over before we even started.

I would not allow my father to screw with my life that way. But first, I needed to deal with Karatos, so Noah would stay alive long enough for us to burn that bridge when we got to it.

“Do you know how to kill a Terror?”

“No, child, I don’t.” He fixed me with that dark gaze. “Doesn’t your instinct tell you anything?”

Instinct? Oh yeah, because I was so good at that. I guess maybe I should be. “I know I should be able to do it. I know I should know how, but I don’t.”

“You have to learn. You have to become more familiar with what you are and what you can do.”

No shit. “But even if I can’t find this thing, Morpheus should be able to, right?” I didn’t like suspecting my father of actually allowing Karatos to sexually assault me, but I had seen the Terror in The Dreaming. Morpehus was all-powerful in the Dream Realm. How could anything escape him?

“It’s possible that the Terror has figured out how to cloak himself so your father can’t find him.”

“Is that possible?”

“It ain’t easy,” he replied with a shake of his head. “Only ones I ever saw do it were the succubi. They could take life force and wrap themselves in it—that’s how she’d hide from Morpheus when she was with me. If he went lookin’, all he’d sense was me.

’Course the night he just simply showed up was another story.”

And one that could wait for another time, regardless of my curiosity. “She’d take your life force?” That was pretty scary-sounding.

“She was a succubus, child. That was part of her job.”

I didn’t ask to what purpose. I didn’t want to know.

“I need your help. You know things about the Dream Realm—things Morpheus won’t tell me.”

“Serves his purpose not to tell you.”

I tried to ignore that remark. Antwoine hated my father, and it only made sense that he trusted Morpheus about as much—or less—than he’d trust a sewer rat. Still, I didn’t trust my father much myself, so the words rang in my head.

“Will you help me?” I asked. “Teach me what he won’t?” I could tell it was a tempting proposition. Helping me would be a middle finger to Morpheus.

Of course, it occurred to me as well that Antwoine might like to use me to hurt Morpheus. Get a little revenge through the baby girl. I wasn’t sure if I could trust either of them, but I needed them all the same.

Antwoine thought for a moment. Then a light came on in his eyes. “I’ll help you on one condition.”

Uh-oh. “What?”

“You find my Madrene. Find her and let her know I…You let her know that I’m okay.”

His succubus. I could do that. I could so do that. “All right. And you’ll tell me everything you know?”

He nodded. “Everything.”

“Great. When can we start?”

He smiled—big and toothy—as he pulled a wicked-looking dagger out of his coat. “How about now?”

I froze. The blade in Antwoine’s slightly gnarled hand glinted in the watery sunlight. “Put the knife down, Antwoine.”

He chuckled at the caution in my voice. “I’m not gonna stab you, idiot. This dagger is a gift for you.” As if to prove that point—and make me feel even more like an idiot—he handed me the blade, hilt first.

I took it after a quick glance around. There was a fair bit of traffic in the park, but no one was the least bit interested in the big white girl and the little black man sitting together on a bench with a dagger between them.

The blade was thin and razor-sharp. The hilt was unadorned except for a large oval moonstone embedded in it. The stone sat just above my hand when my fingers closed around the smooth bone. It fit my hand perfectly. In fact, it grew warm in my grasp, and I knew that it recognized me as its owner.

“It’s a Marae blade,” Antwoine said, answering my unspoken question. “Made especially for Nightmares.”

That was why it felt so right. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. My father hadn’t told me about these. I turned it this way and that, admiring how the light hit that amazing stone. “How did you get it?”

He passed me the sheath for it. “Stole it from one of the Nightmares your daddy sent to escort me out of The Dreaming.”

That made me look up. That was why I hadn’t seen one before this. They were just for those in the Nightmare Guild, and I wasn’t one of them. “But Nightmares are supposed to protect dreamers.” This dagger wasn’t of The Dreaming, I could feel it. Items from the Dream Realm were supposed to eventually deteriorate in this world. Whatever had made this, hadn’t been human, and they hadn’t been Dreamkin.

He gave me an odd look. “Nightmares are supposed to do what their maker tells ’em.”

And that was something else that made me different. Morpheus could tell me to do whatever he wanted, but he couldn’t make me do it.

Antwoine seemed to know the direction of my thoughts. “He’s your daddy, and I’m sure he loves you and wants what’s good for you, but like any daddy, he’s going to think he knows what’s best. You keep a close eye on him.”

I slipped the dagger into the sheath and dropped it into my backpack. Antwoine watched with an amused grin. “You even know how to use a dagger?”

Now it was my turn to smile at him. “I don’t have to. That blade will do whatever I want it to.” I knew it as surely as I knew my own shoe size.

His grin widened. “Now you’re startin’ to sound like a Nightmare. Good girl.”

I preened under his praise. The opinion of an old man whose sanity I had yet to confirm meant a lot to me. Just like I knew that the Marae blade would obey me, I knew that Antwoine Jones was going to play an important role in my life.

I checked my watch. “I have to get going.” I had half an hour before I had to meet Noah, and I wanted to grab lunch on the way.

Antwoine rose when I did. “You take care of yourself, Little Dawn. Call me anytime you want, y’hear?”

I was by nature an impulsive person—compulsive even at times. It was something I tried to tamp down and keep under control, but today I threw it out the window and gave in to the impulse to hug this little man who smelled of tea and aftershave.

“Thank you,” I murmured as I let him go. “I just may need to call you again sometime.”

He patted my shoulder with a smile. “I’ll be here. Now go. You’ll be late for that boy of yours.”

I don’t know how he knew I was meeting Noah, and I didn’t ask. I gave Antwoine a little wave as I walked away, then hurried down to Eighth to catch the subway. I grabbed a hot dog on the way. It tasted every bit as good as something that bad for me should.

I arrived at Noah’s right on time. I even remembered to dig out my compact and make sure I didn’t have mustard on my face before pressing the dojo buzzer. My cheeks and nose were pink from the chill in the air, but there was nothing I could do about that. I wasn’t wearing much makeup today because it would only smear, but I had mascara and a little tinted lip balm. I really didn’t think Noah would care.

He answered the door in his bare feet, wearing a gray T-shirt and a pair of black pajama/lounge pants with Batman on them. I supposed they were easy to move in.

He smiled, brightening his gaze. “Hey.”

I smiled back, feeling like a kid when he looked at me like that. “Hey. Nice pants. I’m sensing a superhero complex.”

Grin widening, Noah stepped back so I could enter. “My little sister gives them to me. I think she’s the one with the complex.”

I didn’t let the mention of that little monster spoil my good mood.

“Come on,” he said, “I’ll show you where to change.”

I followed him through the large, open space. The floors were polished hardwood, scuffed and faded in places. One wall was nothing but mirror. The walls were painted sage rather than white, which I assumed marked too easily. Rows of lights ran along the high ceiling—as bright as sunlight.

A door in the back led to a hallway. Noah led me past a door marked OFFICE to one that said WOMEN. I thanked him and went inside to change.

It was obvious that Warren didn’t have many female students. Only four of the lockers had locks on them, and the tile floor had a fresh look to it. I was hardly the right one to comment, however. When I was a kid, the last thing I would have wanted to do was learn martial arts. Of course, if I had known then what a fabulous way it was to meet boys, I would have signed up in a flash.

Since I was alone I didn’t bother using one of the curtained cubicles to change. I did move into the corner, though, just in case Noah happened to come back. I had no objection to him seeing me half-naked, but if it did happen I’d like for it to happen under softer lighting and maybe after he’d had a beer or two.

I changed into sweats and a T-shirt and put my hair up in a ponytail. Barefoot, I went out to meet my own personal Mr. Miyagi.

Wax on. Wax off. Yeah, I know that was The Karate Kid, but I’d take Pat Morita over Steven Seagal any day.

Noah was sitting on a large tumbling mat in the middle of the dojo, stretching his arms over his extended legs. I joined him and began stretching, too. Exercise might be a dirty word in my dictionary, but even I understood the importance of loosening my muscles before any kind of activity.

“Aikido is about defense,” he explained as he leaned forward, pressing his chest to his thigh. “It’s nonviolent. Meant to neutralize attacks rather than retaliate.”

“But don’t I want to retaliate?” I mean, I didn’t want to get my ass kicked!

His lips twitched. “What you want is to keep your opponent from hurting you and exhaust him at the same time. Fighting back disrupts your harmony.”

“Have you ever fought back?” I asked. I immediately regretted the question when I saw the life leach from his expression. The perfectly serene mask I knew so well slid into place.