Beginnings (17 page)

“You’re so frustrating!” I shouted.

“Will you let me bring you home? Then I can stop bugging you and you can sleep it off.”

“I'm having way too much fun to stop now. I haven't even danced yet.” I grabbed the first guy that walked by, “I need a dance partner.”

He happily obliged and followed me to the dance area. I wrapped my arms around his neck and copied the moves I'd seen Haley do a million times, the way I hated how other girls did it. Jeremy was there with two girls, but I didn't see Haley anywhere.

“What are you doing?” Jeremy mouthed, eying me. I flipped him off. My behavior was childish, but I couldn't stop. My dance partner squeezed his hands over my butt and Jeremy was there in an instant shoving him off.

“Hey man! Why'd you do that?”

“She's drunk. She doesn't know what she's doing.” He pulled me by the elbow and walked me out front, nodding for Adam to follow. “Have you been drinking?”

“No.”

“Good, bring her home.”

“What about you? Why don't you come too?” Adam suggested.

“I'm not leaving,” I informed them.

“Yes you are,” they both stated.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and tried to stomp my foot, but I stumbled and Adam held me up.
Maybe they're right.

“I have to go find Haley,” Jeremy explained.

“I'm parked two blocks up. We'll wait for you in my car.”

Jeremy nodded and rushed back inside.

I felt even more drunk and could barely hold myself up. Before I knew what was happening Adam lifted me into his arms. The instant I wrapped my arms around his neck I knew this was a bad idea. I put my face to his hair and inhaled.

“You smell amazing.”

“Yeah, well, you smell like cheap beer,” he joked. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, which made me dizzy. I opened them and found Adam staring at me, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I'm just enjoying what it feels like to be in your arms. I just wish you weren’t missing this moment.”

“What do you mean? I'm right here?”

“That you could remember how badly you've dreamed of holding me?”

“Okay, drunk girl, let’s get you home.”

We walked another block and my fingers traced the curve of his jaw line, down his neck to his collar bone, and back up to his hair.

“What are you doing?” He whispered softly.

“Am I bothering you?”

“No.”

I felt his breathing getting heavier and a shiver run down his body, even though it was a warm night.

We arrived at the car and he put me down. He lifted his hand and brushed the hair from my face. My head tilted and rested into his palm. His thumb started caressing my cheek.

“It was so much easier when I tried to ignore you,” he sighed.

I quickly shook my head, “No, it sucked.” I put my hand to my forehead, “Ow, that made me dizzy.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, it never would have lasted. I can't explain it. I need to be near you. From the moment you came up to me on campus and smiled. It was the first time I'd felt peace since I woke up from the coma.”

“Why do you think that is?” I implored.
Come on Adam, remember. There is a reason you’re drawn to me. You’re my other half. Nobody knows you like I do, and nobody knows me like you do.

“It's not an attraction thing.”

“Oh,” I tried not to look crushed but my lips deceived me and formed a pout.

He let out a loud laugh.
God, I love that sound.

“I just mean, I know it's more than that. The first time I saw you it took my breath away. I have never seen anyone more beautiful. What scares me is how drawn I am to you. My body longs to feel you near me. I've become your stalker. I go places knowing I will find you there. I attend parties in hopes I will bump into you. Seeing you always calms me. When I'm with you my whole body relaxes. I stop caring if I'm making my parents happy or that my whole weekend will be wasted with my tutor. I'm not worried that I just ate an entire pizza when I should have had lean meat and vegetables to keep my body healthy. You make me laugh and feel my age. I get angry when I think of the years taken from me, but it doesn’t matter when I'm with you.” He sighed and shook his head, “I can't believe I'm telling you all this.”

“Why do you keep fighting us?”
Damn the alcohol for ruining this moment,
I could barely see straight and my head was clouded.

“I'm scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don't know. My life’s been mapped out for me since I was born, and after the coma it got worse. I've never been given the chance to think for myself. You terrify me. These feelings I have for you terrify me.”

Oh, Adam
. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. At that moment I didn't care which Adam he was, I would always love him.
Even if he never remembers, this is where I belong.

We heard screaming in the back causing us to break apart. Jeremy had Haley thrown over his shoulder and she was yelling at him.

“This is not okay Jeremy! Put me down!” They reached the car and he opened the back door, dropping Haley into the empty seat and slamming the door shut. “You used child locks on me!” She yelled, kicking the door before falling back into her seat defeated. Jeremy got in the other side next to her.

Adam leaned over and opened my door. I took another whiff of his scent.

“Did you just smell me again?” He smirked.

“I can't help it,” which came out a bit slurred. “Quit being so sexy.” I tried sliding into the seat, but fell instead. Adam put my seat belt on and in my drunken state I tried kissing him, but missed and got his chin.

Jeremy starting howling with laughter, “You’re going to have to watch her. She's never been this drunk before. I'm not sure what she's capable of.”

“I'm well aware, I've been watching her all night. She almost did spin the bottle with more girls than boys, a lot more girls.”

“You weren't there all night.”

He turned to grin at me, “I arrived ten minutes after you did.” He shut the door and came around to the other side.

Haley slapped my headrest, “Way to go Anna! It's about time you did something stupid.”

Adam started the car, “She stopped when it was her turn.”

“Lame,” Haley said, leaning between the seats to turn on the music.

“Put your seat belt on!” Adam yelled.

We all jumped, he'd never raised his voice before. Without delay she obediently buckled herself in and placed her hands in her lap. I covered my mouth and let out a snort. I couldn't hold it back; the laughter came rippling out, snort by snort. I was too drunk to care.

“You looked like you were six just then,” I told Haley. “It was adorable!”

“Then why are you laughing at me!”

“You looked terrified, like you might get grounded or something.” I laughed harder, which only made me snort louder. “Now I have to pee.” That made Haley start to laugh.

“Great, they could go on like this for hours,” Jeremy complained. “Why'd you stop? Chicken out? Scared to take the leap and have your first kiss?”

I instantly shut up.

“You've never been kissed?” Adam looked shocked.

“No, I'm really picky.”

“I bet she'd let you kiss her, Adam,” Haley responded. “I bet she'd let you kiss her all over.”

“Yes, yes I would,” I said it as stoned face serious as I could. Adam's skin turned bright red.

“See what I mean?” Jeremy said, between laughs, “Watch her when we get home. Once she throws herself on you, you won't be able to say no.”

“She's drunk!” Adam sounded appalled.

“I see the way you watch her. Shit, just ask her out already. I love this song, turn it up.” Jeremy proceeded to sing at the top of his lungs, Haley joining in shortly after. I, of course, joined in too.

I have no clue how we made it up the stairs or how I came to be lying on my bed. Adam was at the end removing my shoes.

“Were you really there the whole time?” The words barely formed out of my mouth.

“I told you, I'm your stalker. I was watching you the whole time.”

“Really?” I tried sitting up but the room started spinning and I fell back down. Adam pulled down my covers.

Jeremy came stumbling in, “Hey, Adam?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to know she'll be the best thing to ever happen to you. Night Anna, I love you,” and he stumbled back out.

“I love you too!” I hollered back.
Aw, Jeremy's the best. I can't believe I was ever mad at him.

Adam started pulling my covers up over my body.

“Why did you tell me that stuff?”

He shrugged, “I guess it's because you’re way past drunk and won't remember this tomorrow.”

“No, that's not it.”

“It's not?” He was smiling down at me.

“Nope,” I said, curling into my sheets.

“Why, then?”

“You've fallen in love with me,” I said matter-of-factly.

I saw Adam sit in his chair as my eyelids started to drop, and then I passed out.

Chapter 22

I woke the next morning with a pounding headache, “Ugh.”

I pulled the covers over my head. Even the natural light of my bedroom hurt my eyes. I heard muffled voices coming from the living room. Feet started walking down the hall and then my door opened. Someone chuckled.

“You awake?”

Adam! What's he doing here?
I couldn't imagine how horrible I looked. I was thankful for the covers over my head.

“I'm awake,” my voice was stifled by the blankets.
Since when do I care what I look like in front of Adam?
I felt ridiculous for being so insecure.

“I brought you coffee, a bagel, and some aspirin. I figured you would be suffering from a massive hangover this morning.”

I slowly pulled the covers down, “Thanks.”

I couldn't look at him. I cursed myself for feeling so self-conscious but I knew I looked a mess.

I finally forced myself to look at him. He was staring back at me. His eyes had a twinkle in them and he wore an amused smile on his face. He looked different to me, less uptight.

I sat up in bed when he started walking over to hand me my drink.

“Do you remember anything from last night?”

My stomach dropped which made me feel queasy.
Crap
.
What did I do?

“The last thing I remember was dancing with that guy.”

Adam scowled, “So nothing after that?”

“I think maybe you brought me home?”
I am never getting drunk again.
It was terrifying not remembering what happened to me. I vaguely remembered Adam holding me but the image was fuzzy.

He gave me a warm smile, the kind he used to give me, “Yeah, I couldn't let you stay at the party by yourself.” He smirked, “You were entertaining to say the least.”

I put my head in my hands and groaned.

“Don't be embarrassed you were cute. You kept telling me how good I smell.” I groaned louder and Adam laughed. I wanted to curl back under the covers.

My head snapped up, “I didn't say anything weird did I? Anything about you and me?”

“Other than the fact that you’re madly in love with me?”

“What!” My eyes almost popped out they were so wide.

He laughed harder than before, “I'm kidding.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.
Yup, definitely never drinking again.

“Well, I'm going to go and let you recover.” He stood there for a moment contemplating something. He looked like he didn't want to leave.

“Do you want to stay and hang out? We could rent some movies and get a pizza?” I tried not to let my voice sound too hopeful.

“I actually have to take care of some things today.”

“Oh, okay, maybe some other time.” I knew he could tell I was disappointed despite my best efforts to keep it casual.

He got to the door and turned around, “I want to take you to dinner tonight.”

His words caught me off guard.

“Okay.”

I hoped he couldn't hear how loud my heart was beating. His face broke out into a smile that took my breath away. For a moment I thought I was looking at
my
Adam.

“I'll pick you up at six.”

I was speechless. I just stared at him open mouthed. He chuckled then left my room. I had to remind myself to breathe again.
Adam just asked me on a date!

“Haley!” I shouted, hurling myself out of bed. I tripped and landed face first onto the carpet. “Ouch.” I rubbed my nose. My legs and feet were tangled in my sheets.

“Haley!” I used my hands to untangle my legs and kicked my feet lose. I ran down the hall and smacked head first into Haley, which sent us both backwards onto our butts.

“Shit Anna, that hurt!”

“Adam just asked me out!” I exclaimed, short of breath.

“When?”

“Tonight. He's picking me up.”

“Oh my gawd Anna!”

We got up holding hands before we started jumping up and down, squealing with excitement.

Jeremy appeared out of his room, “Can you keep it down? Some of us had too much to drink last night and have a hangover.”

“Adam asked her out!” Haley squealed, still jumping up and down.

He beamed at us, “It's about time.” He walked over and engulfed us in a bear hug.

“Haley, you have to help me get ready.” What was happening to me? Feeling self-conscious with Adam, screaming like a little girl because a boy asked me out, and now asking Haley to help me get ready? Love does make you do funny things.

“Go take a shower, we have to get started, now!”

Jeremy dropped his arms and Haley headed towards her room, “I'm going to figure out what you'll wear.”

I hoped I wouldn't come to regret asking her for help. A part of me was scared of what she had in store for me, and the other part wanted to make Adam's jaw drop.

Jeremy looked down at me, “What time's your date?”

“Six.”

“She does realize it's only ten, right?”

Haley poked her head out, “I'm fully aware of the time, but I plan on making Anna so flipping hot that Adam begs her to marry him the moment he sees her.”

“I'll make us some breakfast to help cure the hangovers.”

“That's the spirit Jeremy!”

They locked eyes for a moment and I could feel the electricity running between them. Jeremy was staring at her in a way that girls only dream about. I felt like I was intruding on an intimate moment, but I didn't want to move for fear I would break the trance they were in. Haley blushed (I think for the first time ever) and looked at me.

“Shower! Now!” She pointed a finger towards the bathroom.

“Yes, ma'am!”

Satisfied, she went back in her room and I made my way to the bathroom.

“Anna, I need to apologize to you.”

Jeremy had followed me and was standing in the doorway, “What I said to you last night was wrong. I knew what I said hurt your feelings and was probably what led you to get so drunk. I'm sorry, Anna.” His face was full of regret and I had to hug him.

“Your words did hurt me. They were mean.” He winced and his face looked even sorrier. “You were right though.”

He started shaking his head, “No, I wasn't. You and Adam belong together. I know this. I think I was just jealous. I want somebody to care half as much for me as you care for Adam.”

“Jeremy, I care that much. I love you. You, Haley, and Adam are my family. Everything I've done for Adam I would do for you.”

“Oh, Anna,” he gripped me tight into his arms, “I love you too. I don't even want to think about what my life would be like without you both.”

I squeezed him tightly to me as well before letting go and looking up at him.

“Give her time. She loves you, she's just too afraid to admit it.” An idea popped into my head, “You just need to kiss her. A full blown, knock-you-off-your-feet kind of kiss.”

“That would work?”

“She will either slap you or the both of you won't leave her bedroom for a week. You can't wait for her to come around. Take charge.”

“What if I lose her? I need her too much.” He gave a half smile, “She's the exact kind of girl I said I would never end up with, and now I find myself not feeling good enough for her.”

“You won't lose her. The choice is yours. Do you want to stay friends forever or do you want more?”

“Thanks, Anna.”

He began closing the door to let me shower.

“Oh, and Jeremy? You are good enough for her.”

He gave me a fake smile not believing me and then left. I hated how hard Jeremy was on himself. He made one major mistake in his life and now he let it define him.

The hot shower was exactly what I needed to calm my nerves. I stood there for a moment letting the water soothe my muscles. It was so nice to just be able to rela-

“Okay, we have a lot of work to do. You spent the night drinking so I don't even want to think about what it's done to your complexion,” Haley said as she ripped open the shower curtain, her arms full of various bottles.

“Haley!” I cried.

“Oh please, it's nothing I haven't seen.” She started handing me bottles, “Put this on your hair right now, and after ten minutes wash it out with this. Do a second rinse with this bottle...”
What have I gotten myself into?
“...here's a mask for your face, put it on and don't rinse it off until you're almost done with your shower.”

“Haley, you’re letting cold air in!”

She closed the curtain.

“Wait, what do I do first?” This was all way over my head.

She let out an exasperated sigh, “The brown bottle – coat it all over your hair.” I heard her sit down on the toilet. “Don't forget to put on the face mask too.”

“Are you staying in here?”

“Yes, because I know that's the only way you'll do it all.”

She was absolutely right.

“Okay, masks are on.”

“Here, rub this everywhere,” her hand came through the curtain handing me yet another bottle. She made me exfoliate my skin until it was raw. “Don't forget to shave.”

“I did that the other day.”

“Do it again.”

“But they’re not even hairy.”

“Just do it.”

I did enjoy the second shampoo rinse; it made my hair smell like spring time. When I got out I used a body butter. I didn't want to admit it to Haley but my skin felt heavenly.

For the first time ever I had some of my eyebrow hairs plucked. I almost punched her after the first pull.
Why do women do this to themselves?

Jeremy knocked on the door, “Breakfast is ready.”

We made our way to the kitchen to find Jeremy proudly displaying the food he had prepared.

“Wow, Jeremy, this is quite a spread,” I appraised. He had made pancakes, sausage, and eggs. Plus, some weird greenish-brown smoothie drinks.

“Drink this first,” he advised, handing me the smoothie. “It'll help with your hangover.”

“This is disgusting,” I said trying the drink. I wasn't sure I wanted my hangover to go away if it meant finishing the glass.

“Suck it up and drink it!”

Geez, Haley is so bossy today.

I held my breath and swallowed. I gagged a couple times, and when it was finished I felt worse than before. My stomach was so queasy I knelt over the sink.

“What is
in
that?”

“A bunch of stuff. I found it on the internet,” Jeremy answered. “I had one too. Just give it a minute.”

After ten minutes of gripping the sink, my stomach calmed down and I felt better. I slowly stood up. I wasn't dizzy anymore.

“It does work. I'm still hungover but it's not as bad.”

“See, I'm always right,” Jeremy smiled smugly at me. Haley threw a pancake at him, which he caught and took a huge bite out of. She smiled at him and he winked. They seemed so happy with each other, it was weird.

Jeremy made the best pancakes. They were perfectly light and fluffy. We sat in silence devouring our plates. Jeremy insisted on doing the dishes. I think it was his way of still showing how sorry he was for being a jerk the night before.

We went to Haley's room, where I sat for what felt like an eternity while she blow-dried my hair section by section. Then she curled my hair piece by piece.

“What happened with you and Jeremy when we got home last night?”

“Nothing. He just apologized.” She was acting so casual for Haley that I knew there was more to it.

“What did he say?”

“He was sorry, and wished he didn't get so jealous, that nobody drives him more crazy than I do. Also, that I'm the only girl for him and he's tired of pretending otherwise.” Haley blushed, looking embarrassed.

“Did you say anything back?”

“I told him it was okay, we were both drunk and acting stupid.”

“That's it? You used to complain how much I held back my emotions, but you're just as bad. Why are you so intent on pretending you don't care about him?”

“I don't know,” her voice was barely above a whisper. “Anyway, let’s have you try on outfits to figure out what you'll wear before I do makeup.”

I had to try on fifteen different outfits before she decided on “the one.” Next, I had to endure the makeup process. I had no idea so many steps were involved in applying eye makeup. I was surprised when she only used chap-stick on my lips.

“You’re one of those lucky bitches who were born with the perfect shade of lips.”
Uh, thanks?

When she was all done she made me wash it all off, claiming it “didn't look like me,” and I had to start from scratch, even reapplying eye cream, face serum, and face cream. I almost punched her again. This time she wanted to “enhance my natural beauty.”